Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

Meic

A breeze comes in off the sea, reminding me that we’re on an island. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that, especially when I’m so consumed by what’s going on at the academy.

Nati reaches out and takes my hand in hers, giving me a shy smile.

I know exactly what she’s thinking. Despite the fact we’ve been acting like we’re together inside the academy grounds where all the people who know us are, being outside feels different. Like the world is ready to know about us.

“This is it,” I say, coming to a stop outside the local pub. “They do good food,” I add quickly in case she thinks it’s weird that I’ve brought her to a place like this.

“I know. I came here with my parents when they visited the island.”

“Oh, I had no idea.”

She shrugs. “It never came up. But they met at Blackthorn, so they like to come back here on their anniversary. They’d come even if I wasn’t here.”

“Now you have me worrying about running into your parents,” I murmur. I know I’m old enough that I shouldn’t be too concerned about that, but there’s a part of me that is and can’t help it.

“They’re not here now,” she assures me.

I push open the door to the pub and hold it open for her. The chatter of people in the bar fills the air, making it feel warm and inviting.

I head up to the bar and smile at the bartender. “I’ve got a table booked under Davies.”

She nods and gestures to the restaurant side. “It’s the one with the reserved sign on it. Someone will be over to take your order.”

“Thanks.” I put a hand on Nati’s back as we make our way there, enjoying the subtle way she leans into my touch. Every time she does something like that, my heart constricts. I know she doesn’t like people touching her, and having experienced the snake bite and turning into stone first-hand, I can understand why. But to me, she’s responsive.

Very responsive. I try to banish the memories of how she falls apart from my mind. This isn’t the place.

Nati slides into one side of the booth, and I take the other.

“It’s nice to be going on a date outside the academy,” Nati says.

“It is,” I agree.

“Not that I haven’t been enjoying hanging out in the secret rooms with you, because I have.” She bites her bottom lip. “A lot.”

I reach out and put a hand over hers, giving it a squeeze. “Me too.”

“Even if we haven’t had sex?” It’s hard to read the expression on her face, making me wonder if she’s trying to work out why we haven’t yet.

“The time hasn’t been right,” I murmur, not wanting her to know how nervous I am about it. It’s going to be great, but I also know that using my knot is going to be unavoidable, and I don’t want to scare her away with that.

“What does that even mean?” she asks curiously.

I’m saved from answering by the appearance of one of the wait staff. We give them our order, which is impressive when I’ve barely had a chance to look at the menu. The man disappears into what I assume is the kitchen, leaving the two of us blissfully alone once more.

“I actually had something I meant to ask you,” I say.

She raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Would you be my girlfriend?”

She frowns. “Was I not already?”

“We hadn’t really defined things,” I point out.

“You told me that you were my fated mate,” she says. “Well, actually, you told me that I was your fated mate. I wasn’t under the impression that this was something casual.”

“Well, no. I never meant casual.” I let out a sigh. “I just wanted to do things properly, and not make you think you had to accept the fated mate bond straight away.”

“I’m not even sure how I would do that.”

There’s a pause in the conversation as our drinks arrive, giving me time to figure out how to explain it.

And coming up with nothing.

“I don’t really understand it myself,” I admit. “Most people say it’s something about accepting all the parts of one another.”

She raises an eyebrow. “That sounds like sex.”

“It’s not,” I respond. “It’s more like a gradual thing that grows over time, I think. Like a relationship, but magical.”

She nods, but there seems to be something on her mind. “Okay.”

“What is it?”

“Why haven’t we had sex, Meic? I thought that was where things were going, but you seem to freeze up every time I move as if that’s what I’m going to initiate.”

I clear my throat. I wasn’t intending to have this conversation while we were in the middle of a pub, but I also don’t want her to think that I’m brushing her off. “You really want to know?”

“Would I have asked if I didn’t?”

I steel myself for what I have to say. I’ve no idea how she’s going to react to it. I check around us to make sure no one’s listening and lean closer. “It’s the knot.”

“The what?”

“The knot. You’ve felt it.” Just the thought of the times she’s done that is enough to make me hard. No doubt I’ll be that way until we’re back at the academy later.

Her eyes widen. “Oh.”

“You know about it?” I ask, wondering how much I need to explain and how much she’ll already be aware of. Though there is a small hint of jealousy at the thought of how she might know.

“I know enough to understand the basics,” she responds. “I guess I didn’t realise that’s what one would feel like.”

“Too small for you?” I joke.

Her cheeks turn pink. “That’s not what I meant.”

“It’ll grow.” I think. “But yeah, I guess I was worried it would scare you, because I’m not going to be able to control it once we start.”

“Is that normal?” she asks, fiddling with the straw in her drink while she waits for me to answer.

“No. But you’re my fated mate, Nati. Just existing is enough for you to make me lose control.”

She bites her bottom lip, seeming lost in thought. Which is a good thing, considering our food arrives, and as much as I like the idea of her thinking of us being together, I don’t want to be talking about it when a stranger comes to bring us something to eat.

Nati eats one of her chips, a pensive expression on her face.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Is the knot the only reason you’re nervous?” she asks.

“Yes.”

“Okay, so if I say that we should try it and see how it goes, then it’s fine, right?”

I swallow hard. “Yes.”

“Then we should.” The way she says it makes it sound like it’s such an easy decision to make. She knows what she wants, and is going for it.

I nod. I want to do that with her. I’m still nervous about how it’s going to go, and I don’t want her to be uncomfortable in any way, but now that she knows, it’s going to be impossible to resist the urge.

And I’m going to be thinking about it for the rest of our meal.