9. Henry

CHAPTER 9

HENRY

My phone rings, and it's Keane. I get a huge thrill whenever he texts or calls or contacts me in any way—which is often, because it seems he's always thinking of me.

"Kerrigan and I had a little chat this morning," he says. "While I don't think we resolved everything, I think it's going to be okay eventually."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I'm proud of you for standing up to him. You know that?"

I smile, his praise filling me with warmth. "Thanks."

"I was talking with my friend Wolfe last night, and he mentioned that people's motivations are rarely pure. There can be a mix of reasons we do things, some good and some bad."

"So you're saying you want me for good reasons?"

His voice lowers. "And some very bad ones."

"I like the sound of that."

We're staying at the B and B tonight, and dinner for two is almost ready when Keane arrives, right on time. Whenever he shows up at my door with his eyes sparkling, dark hair tousled and swept back, I … swoon. He's so handsome, and he makes me feel cared for.

"Hi," he says, leaning down to kiss me chastely.

I'm having none of that. I grab him by the back of the neck and kiss him hard. He grunts, smiles against my lips, and attacks.

I love this. I love bringing out his wilder side. The one he hides underneath the dress shirts and the slacks. He's trained himself to be polite—at least mostly. I consider it my job to unleash him.

"Hi," I say, breathless. "Come on in. I made green curry."

"It smells wonderful." He wraps an arm around my waist, and I love that, too. I love how he can't seem to stop touching me.

We go into the kitchen, I wash my hands (again), and he pours wine. I love having him here.

As we eat, after we talk about our day, he looks at me somewhat warily. "I think we need to talk about Kerrigan. Because if this thing between us is going to last—and I really want it to—your coming to some kind of peace with him is essential. Otherwise, I'm always going to remind you of how he hurt you."

I tilt my head, considering. "It still hurts that he cheated, but I don't associate you with that. I associate you with blow jobs." Along with a whole lot of other fun activities.

Keane laughs.

But we both sober quickly. "I'm sure you're right," I say finally. "But I'm not sure how to do it. I don't want to meddle in his life. Isn't it just going to be awkward for a while until we learn to deal with each other?"

"It could be. Or you could talk with him some more."

I bristle.

He holds up his hands. "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. This can wait until you're ready. You might benefit from more closure, though."

The problem is, I know Keane's right. But I don't want to deal with Kerrigan right now. "I don't really want revenge on him. Not anymore. I just want to be able to live with you and not have him come between us."

"Live with me? You want to move in?"

I slap a hand over my mouth. "That's not what I meant. We're not going that fast. I didn't?—"

He smiles. "Relax. It's okay. I'm teasing you." He takes a bite of curry and, after swallowing, says, "I wouldn't mind, though."

"No?" I sound embarrassingly hopeful.

"No."

A few weeks later, I get my closure in a funny way. Ian Davis walks into the bed-and-breakfast hand in hand with some guy who is most definitely not Kerrigan. I show them to their room for the night and let them be.

Kerrigan threw away what we had, but his thing with Ian didn't last, either.

And the truth is, Kerrigan did me a favor, because I'm with the love of my life.

Oh, yes. I'm aware I'm not supposed to be in love with Keane after less than two months of dating.

But I've known him for years. And it's easy for a crush to grow into something more when I'm allowed to actually be with him. When he texts me in the middle of the day just because. When he tells me I'm a good boy before we do naughty things to each other.

And when we enjoy simply spending time with each other. That's the best of all.

A month later, I'm at the winery tasting room, helping Keane hang up my painting, which he insisted on paying for. He was correct—it complements the decor perfectly and really adds something to the room.

We're just standing back to admire it when Kerrigan walks in and stops short. He and I haven't seen each other since that morning at Keane's house, but I've thought more than once about what I'd say to him. I have a few choices, but the bottom line is that I don't want to give him any more power over my happiness.

"Hey," I say with a lift of my chin.

He nods. "Hey."

Keane smiles at his son, but his eyes are wary. "Hi, Kerrigan."

"How's it going?" Kerrigan asks.

Yep. It's awkward in here. Appropriately so.

"It's going great," I say, unable to keep the happiness out of my voice.

"I can see that." Kerrigan points to the painting. "Hey, this is yours, isn't it?"

"Yes. I love it," Keane says pointedly. I reach out to squeeze his hand, then release it, silently telling him that he doesn't have to defend me. That I can handle myself. He looks down at me and gives a quick nod of understanding.

Kerrigan studies the neat lines of grapevines in my watercolor, which is now accented by an elegant frame. "It looks good there," he finally says.

"Thanks," I say.

"Can I talk with you?" Kerrigan asks me.

I'm feeling generous. "Sure."

Kerrigan follows me outside into the lovely, sunshiny day. I'm not going to let him take away my own sunshiny mood. He kicks at the ground, then lifts his head and looks me in the eyes. "I wanted to apologize for cheating on you. It was a shit thing to do."

Well. "While I wasn't expecting an apology, I'll take it," I say. It does feel good to have him acknowledge that what he did wasn't right. "What made you want to say that?"

"Ian cheated on me."

"Ah."

"Yeah. It sucks," Kerrigan says. "I was selfish, and now I'm pretty ashamed about how badly I treated you, and"—he groans—"it just sucks. That's all."

"Okay. Well, thanks. I'm sorry you had to experience it, too. I guess … I've moved on."

He snorts. "I can see that. It's super weird that you're with my dad, but I can see that you're good for him. He's happier. Less lonely. I've never seen him how he is right now."

I can't resist a small smile, and I feel warm inside. Because Keane is so affectionate with me, and I give all that affection back to him and then some. "I have to admit that I knew about Ian," I say. "He and his new friend came to the B and B."

"Hmm. Well. Shit."

"Pretty much."

Kerrigan nods a few times. "I guess going forward, I'm going to have more conversations about whether a relationship is exclusive or not. And make sure I'm on the same page with whoever I'm with. Because putting myself in your shoes—and now that it's happened to me—it doesn't feel so good."

"There's a lot that can be solved if you communicate ahead of time."

Not too long after that, Kerrigan joins Keane and me at Keane's house for dinner, and he brings a new boyfriend. The guy isn't anything like me or Ian—he's bigger and a little older. And he doesn't seem to take any crap from Kerrigan.

That seems to be the best resolution of all. That Kerrigan found someone who sets appropriate boundaries.

After they leave, I kiss Keane and snuggle in for the night.