8. Keane

CHAPTER 8

KEANE

Over the past three weeks, Henry and I have gotten into a rhythm where we basically see each other every night. Either he stays over here, or I stay at his bed-and-breakfast. I've also been helping him simplify the work—and setting things up so he doesn't have to do it all himself—while letting the business be profitable. Together, we've come up with some cost savings, as well as revenue-generating ideas.

All in all, these have been some of the best days of my life—and I hope they're just the start. Henry is charming, and when he looks at me, my heart leaps.

I've been shut off from my emotions for so long that they feel rusty. But rust can get cleaned off. Underneath, I'm solid.

We've found that we have many things in common. We like to talk about art and decoration, we're both into food and wine, we appreciate the same quirky old movies and listen to overlapping styles of music. But we also have similar ways of looking at the world. He's more introverted than I am, but I'm not entirely extroverted, either. We both recognize that we were lonely before—and it's sad that he was lonely when he was with my son. And now that we've found each other, we don't want to let each other go.

We're at my place this morning. He's hired a part-time cook at the bed-and-breakfast, so he doesn't have to be there first thing every day.

He's also updated his website and is restyling the inn as an LGBTQ-friendly travel destination. With some of the money his aunt left him, he hired staff to do a deep cleaning and some minor repairs, and he's refreshed the sheets, towels, and toiletries. That made him feel more comfortable raising his prices. And it seems to be working—at least, he's getting steady reservations.

So now he can enjoy a lazy Friday morning with me. I need to get to the winery, but things start later for me than for him, and I can indulge for a while.

We woke up together, and once we were done in the shower, I finished shaving while he went to make coffee.

"Hey," I whisper, coming up behind Henry as he pours a cup of coffee and wrapping my arms around his waist. His bare back is cool against my warm chest. I hook my chin over his shoulder and kiss him on the cheek.

Henry shivers in my arms. "Hey," he replies. He opens his mouth to say something else, but the key sounds in my lock, and then the front door opens.

We freeze.

Kerrigan walks in, saying, "Hey, Dad?" But then he stops short. "What the hell are you doing here, Henry?" Kerrigan's face morphs from a neutral expression to one of anger as he looks at us. "Wait, you two? What the actual … What?"

Swallowing, Henry goes to say something, but I feel like I need to explain more than he does. "We matched on Heart2Heart," I say with a sheepish grin. "Surprise to both of us, I think."

"You matched ? What the hell, Dad?"

I step away from Henry, but I catch his eyes, wanting to know how he's taking all this. I don't want to go blustering in as if he can't stand up for himself, but I also want to take care of him, and I don't want him to feel like he's all alone. "Yes," I say simply. "We matched. We're dating. We've been dating for almost a month."

"A month ? What? You went from me to my fucking dad ?" Kerrigan says to Henry, his voice acidic.

Henry pauses, and that pause speaks volumes. Because no matter how well Henry and I get along, I can't deny that his first attempt at getting together with me was driven in part by anger at Kerrigan. Henry wanted this confrontation.

"I don't think you have any right to comment on what I do," Henry finally says, and I'm proud of him for how straight his back is and how steady his voice sounds. "I'm with your dad. We're the real thing. Not like you and me. You lost your chance with me, and now I'm with someone better. He happens to be your father, but it could have been anyone. Anyone is better than you for me."

Kerrigan seems suspended between two points, not sure whether to start yelling or turn and leave. For my part, I'm angry at him for disrupting my perfect morning with Henry. I suppose that's selfish—it's no surprise that Kerrigan is shocked at our news—but he threw Henry away, and in my mind, that's unforgivable. Henry deserves everything .

"You're serious, Dad? You're dating my ex?"

My voice is gravelly but strong. "Yes, I am. I like Henry very much."

"Like" feels a little tame, but I'll stick with it. Henry's eyes flash toward me, and he gives me a grateful smile. I hold my arm out, feeling the need to physically support him, and he comes and tucks himself to me.

Kerrigan shakes his head a few times and spins on his heel. "Fucking unbelievable," he mutters. "Abso-fucking-lutely unbelievable. My own father."

The door slams behind him, and the silence in the room is nothing like the sleepy comfort Henry and I shared just a few moments ago. Now it's awkward and embarrassing.

Because we both knew this would happen at some point. I suppose, on some level, I wanted my son to learn that he shouldn't have hurt Henry. Shouldn't hurt any partner, of course, but Henry's my main concern.

"Are you okay?" Henry asks, his voice tentative.

I swallow hard and nod. "You?"

"I think so." He grimaces. "Mostly, I'm wondering what I ever saw in him. No offense," he adds quickly.

"None taken. My son did not deserve you." I clear my throat. "But that doesn't mean I want to sever relations with him, either."

"So Thanksgiving is going to be awkward."

I chuckle in spite of myself. "Always is." Then I groan. "I should talk to him—though maybe it's better if I give him some time to settle down first. It's not fair to him that he came in unaware. I should've told him from the start. I know we said we'd wait a month, but …"

"Do you think you'll be able to work things out?"

I sigh. "I think so, though it may take a little while. He needs to not act like a child. He can't keep everyone else away from a toy just because he didn't want it. Not that you're a toy," I clarify.

Henry gives me a saucy grin, although his eyes still look a little sad. "I'm happy to be your boy toy."

"Is that so?" I whisper against his mouth. And we kiss, and my world seems to click back into place.

That evening, Henry is out with his friend Zayden, and I invited Wolfey over. He's sitting on my recliner—the one Henry gave me a lap dance in, but I try not to think about that.

"What's on your mind?" Wolfe says. "I know something's up."

"So." I realize it's been a while since he and I talked. "Last time we got together, you showed me a picture of your new man."

"Yeah," he says slowly, possibly concerned that he's going to get some kind of lecture.

"Seeing you so happy made me realize I was super lonely, so I signed up for a date on the Heart2Heart app."

Wolfe chuckles. "Oh?"

"And I matched with someone."

He sits up straighter. "And you've met this person?"

"A guy. Yeah. And we hit it off really well. Wolfey, I really like him. I mean really, really like him." My voice almost cracks. "There are a few problems, though."

To Wolfe's credit, he doesn't interrupt me. He just lets me get this out.

"Besides the fact that he's twenty years younger than me, his last boyfriend was my son."

Wolfe's jaw legitimately drops. "No way."

"Yeah. Henry Carter. Turns out, we're super compatible. I mean, he steals the blankets, but other than that …"

He holds up a hand. "TMI."

"Fair. Anyhow, we agreed to tell Kerrigan after we'd been dating for a month—make sure it was serious, y'know—but Kerrigan walked in this morning when we were making coffee."

"And he thought there was something nefarious about you two being together?"

"Which he has absolutely no right to do. He cheated on Henry, which was why Henry was single to begin with." I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Henry did initially come on to me for revenge—and I turned him down. Even though I've always thought he was sweet. But when we got set up by the app, it seemed, I don't know, like maybe we should give it a try. Just because we knew each other didn't mean that there was anything wrong with the computer matching us up. Only now I'm questioning whether we're together for good reasons. Like, what if part of his interest in me does have something to do with revenge? Don't get me wrong—I know Henry likes me. But there's something about that first interaction that… taints it, maybe? And I also feel guilty that I didn't tell my son sooner."

Wolfey studies me. "Have you ever heard of a thing called mixed motive? I studied about it in an intro to employment law class. It means that even if you had an illegal reason for doing something, if you also had a good reason, that's enough to make it okay."

I wrinkle my nose. "So, because participating in revenge against my son is a bad reason but our genuine attraction is a good reason, you're calling our motives for being together mixed?"

"Right. It's real life. Things are complicated. Multiple reasons can exist simultaneously, some more noble than others. We know you didn't want to hurt Kerrigan?—"

"I don't, although I'm not opposed to him being taught a lesson. And I've denied myself everything I want for such a long time."

"Your son didn't need to give you permission to date Henry. Sure, it would've helped avoid some awkward moments, but Kerrigan doesn't get to decide how you live your life, Keane. You do."

"Yeah. I know that."

"So go talk with Kerrigan. And then enjoy being with a good guy who makes you happy."

Kerrigan comes storming into the winery on Monday, and I stop him. "Can we talk?"

He gives me a derisive snort but follows me into my office and sits in his usual spot.

After I take a seat at my desk, he explodes. "What the actual fuck, Dad? Henry? You're fucking Henry ?"

"Don't say it like that," I warn. "It's not like that."

"Oh? What is it like?"

Kerrigan deserves the truth. "Henry told me he caught you with another man. An Ian?"

While Kerrigan's face remains blank, I know his expressions well enough to see that his eyes register recognition.

"Right after he found you, Henry came over to my house to try to seduce me. He wanted you to feel bad."

"I can't believe you'd?—"

"Let me finish," I say. "I turned him down. I told him I wasn't going to help him exact revenge on you, no matter how much he was hurting and no matter how poorly you'd treated him."

Kerrigan now looks slightly uncomfortable. "Oh?"

"Yes. Oh. Because you're my son, and I wouldn't do that to you." Now for the harder part. "But I was attracted to him. And I was so lonely that I signed up for a date on an app."

"Don't tell me Henry was your date."

"He was. The computer thought we were compatible. And guess what? It was right. He and I are incredibly compatible. We can talk about everything." I'll spare Kerrigan the details of our sex life, but I tell him, "It feels like he's my other half."

I can see when the truth of my words sinks in. "You're not just saying that."

"Nope."

"And you and he are for real?"

"Yes."

"This is so weird."

I chuckle. "I know. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you found out the way you did. I meant to sit you down and tell you. I was just waiting until Henry and I had been together for a month. I wanted to make sure we were solid." I shrug. "We're solid."

Kerrigan stands and nods. "Okay," he says.

And while he doesn't say anything else before he leaves, I feel like I told him what I needed to.