Chapter Twenty

“B etween what ?” Evienne tried desperately to keep the panic from her voice, but she knew she must be failing miserably. They still lay side-by-side, locked together.

His face was mere inches from hers, and he wore an expression of worry tinged with awe.“Còmhanam are a topic of many of our folktales; I had no idea that the bond could be real, let alone without my magic. They were said to be so rare, only once a century did a pair of Tuanadair find their soulmate. I believed it was a myth perpetuated by disillusioned romantics, I didn’t know…” Orion let his hand drift to cup her face as he spoke, his expression relaxing.

Evienne wished she could relax, but his words refused to fully process in her mind. “I’m so sorry, but what does any of that have to do with you being stuck inside me right now? It seems debating if it’s real or not may not be worth our time at this point.”

“The… anatomical differences we are currently experiencing are one of the main tells. Some Tuanadair have a knot that appears only when mating with their Còmhanam; others, who have vaginal anatomy, apparently have an internal version that forms to achieve the same latching effect. The knot, in my case, has swollen so that we cannot separate—it is believed to function to increase the likelihood of conception.” The worry was back on Orion’s face as he explained.

Despite her slight panic, hearing him talk about it as it was happening sent a zing of pleasure down Evienne’s spine. “Alright, I am following what you are saying about what is happening…physically. I still need you to explain, in detail , what you mean by Còmhanam,” Evienne said, trying to remain calm.

“A Còmhanam bond is formed when the two parts of the same soul find each other. It was said that Còmhanam would develop a sense of the other’s emotions, and feel them as their own in heightened moments. A fierce protectiveness and loyalty were also said to be hallmarks of a Còmhanam bond. It’s not a full bond until I…mark you.”

“And you think I am your Còmhanam? And I’m sorry, what do you mean mark me?” Evienne stared at Orion and saw a blend of concern and wonder in his face, but her questions felt quite urgent. She waited, searching his face, before he finally spoke.

“I’ve been drawn to you since the moment I set eyes on you, and the pull has only increased as I’ve learned more about you. Obviously, the attraction was there from the start, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, wanting to know everything about you. I’ve never been so undone by someone. And the knotting is…something that I didn’t even know was really possible. I don’t have my magic, so by all rights it shouldn’t be possible. Còmhanam bonds go silent when no magic is present. But yes, Evienne, I can’t deny that I find myself believing the impossible. There are signs I cannot explain away, but more than that, my soul whispers to me that I have found my home with you. At this revelation, I feel peace and joy, and I cannot dismiss that.”

Tears stung Evienne’s eyes at Orion’s earnest confession. How could this be real? Not a week ago, she was wondering if she would be always alone, left with the scars of her broken marriage and a penchant for single night flings.

“As for the marking,” Orion began, “it’s a bite—a claiming. From what I understand, a marking means the pair accepts the Còmhanam bond, and all of the feelings and sensations that go along with being bonded become more intense. It is much harder to walk away from a Còmhanam once marked.”

Before she had a chance to respond to him, she felt the pressure lessening where they were still joined. He gently slid himself out of her, and she closed her legs, his release coating her inner thighs. Somehow, she already ached to feel him inside her again.

“Orion, I understand that this is very real for you, and I can’t deny that I have felt the pull toward you that you described,” Evienne began. “I just need a bit of time to sort out my feelings about everything you’ve shared with me. It seems we’re dealing with something that’s been unheard of for centuries. Will you give me a bit of time? Between this and the suspicions you shared with me about the Tuanadair magic, you seem intent on turning my world upside down.” She placed her hand against his heart and stared into his sea green eyes.

He smiled softly at her, taking her hand in his where it rested against his chest. “Of course, please take the time you need. We can figure out what this means together, and regardless of what happens, I am grateful to have shared this night with you, Evienne.”

She returned his smile and nodded. “I am, too.”

·

E vienne drifted into consciousness feeling safe and warm. Her unsettling dreams hadn’t plagued her sleep, and she felt rested. Minutes drifted by as she soaked in the feeling, gradually becoming aware of her body and her surroundings.

She inhaled sharply when she realized her legs were tangled with someone else’s. She hadn’t slept through the night with anyone since she left Dominique. Suddenly, she remembered where she was, and her eyes shot to Orion’s face, peaceful with sleep in the soft light of dawn.

Evienne relaxed, memories of the night before rushing back. Orion had pulled her close, and she had let him. She wasn’t sure what had come over her; she hadn’t let anyone care for her like this for a long time. She felt she could trust Orion, though. It startled her, but she realized she felt she could be vulnerable in front of him too, and he wouldn’t see it as a weakness.

Despite the calm she had awoken with, all of the information that had been thrust upon her the night before rushed back into her mind, and Evienne’s anxiety rose. She began to slowly, carefully extract herself from her bed where Orion peacefully rested. She managed to free herself and dress quietly enough to avoid disturbing him.

She washed and dressed, barely remembering to slip on her bladed ring before rushing out the door. There was one person she needed to speak with about all of this; someone who she trusted, but that would also set her straight if they thought Evienne was in over her head.

Hestia had been one of Evienne’s first tutors when she began her studies as a Sangviere. She appeared to be in her sixties but suspiciously hadn’t aged a day since Evienne first met her fifteen years prior.

Hestia was no-nonsense, possessed a dry sense of humor, and fiercely loyal to anyone she deemed to be a part of her family. Evienne counted herself lucky to be one of Hestia’s adopted children.

Hestia had challenged Evienne not to rely too heavily on her natural talent, pushing her instead to learn how to study diligently to move herself forward. If not for Hestia’s guidance and unwavering emotional support, Evienne would not be the High Sangviere of Ichorna, she was certain of it.

Evienne knew that Hestia would never betray her confidence, so she felt safe sharing the Beitaran’s true motives for being in Ichorna. Beyond that, she knew Hestia would help her make sense of this Còmhanam business. It wasn’t so much that Evienne didn’t believe Orion; it was just that she didn’t see how it could really be possible or, frankly, what to do about it if it was.

As she walked out of the palace into the quiet streets of the city, Evienne searched her heart. How did she feel at the thought of having one fated for her? A person that was supposedly a perfect match for her damaged soul? She found that the idea, while jarring, was not wholly unwelcome. She had never been as comfortable with someone as she felt with Orion; that feeling of freedom had to mean something, right?

The sun was warming the sky to a gentle orange by the time she arrived at the sandstone facade of the townhouse Hestia called home. Since the older woman had retired from teaching at the Academie du Sangviere, she had moved out of her old quarters in the palace complex and now called this fashionable spot home. The street was one of the prettiest in Lucinne; a wide boulevard with ancient trees and a generous pedestrian walkway made it feel more like a park than a street.

Evienne heard the quiet whoosh of the Rail Dellumine as it glided by on its track a few blocks away. She stepped up to Hesitia’s door and lifted the heavy brass knocker. After a few breaths of silence, Evienne heard someone fiddling with the latch.

The door opened a few inches and Hestia’s dark brown eyes peered out. Her brows rose in surprise at the sight of Evienne outside her door so early in the morning, but after a moment, her lips pulled into a smile.

“Oh, it’s you! I was certainly not expecting to see anyone here at this hour.” Hestia opened the door the rest of the way and gestured for Evienne to enter. Evienne stepped across the threshold and stood before the woman who had been her mentor for the past decade.

She was sure Hestia could read each one of her emotions on her face, but she would make Evienne explain nonetheless. In the absence of any parental influence during Evienne’s adolescence, it had been Hestia that taught her some of life’s most useful skills, such as the value of communicating clearly about one’s feelings.

“I’m sorry for the intrusion, but I didn’t know where else to go.” Evienne took a deep breath and met her mentor’s steady gaze. Hestia extended a warm brown hand, and Evienne readily took it in her own. She was promptly pulled into a hug, something she hadn’t even realized she’d needed. Tears filled Evienne’s eyes, but she took a deep breath and returned Hestia’s hug, attempting to gather her thoughts to explain what had happened.

“Hestia, what do you know of the Tuanadair’s magic?”

“That’s a big question, Dove; can you give me some context?” Hestia asked as she led Evienne to her cozy living room. A fire crackled softly in the hearth, and the dark wood paneling and mismatched textiles of the familiar room drained some of the tension out of Evienne’s shoulders.

“I’m not sure where to start, Hestia. Things seem to have spiraled rather out of my control,” Evienne said quietly as she slipped off her shoes and curled up on one of the sofas.

“Does it have anything to do with your special assignment for the celebration? The delegation from Beitar?” Hestia gave Evienne a knowing look.

“Yes. The Professor, Orion, told me of their true purpose here. He suspects Ichorna has something to do with the waning of Beitar’s magic, and he’s here to seek answers in our library or wherever else the trail may lead. He’s asked for my help in seeking those answers.”

“And you are unsure of sharing this information with Queen Aldith as she ordered,” Hestia says slowly, immediately putting the pieces together as Evienne assumed she would.

“Yes,” Evienne nodded.

“You suspect his theory may not be wholly unfounded,” Hestia added.

“I have questions that I fear will go unanswered if I immediately take this information to Aldith, yes. And…I find I do not want to tell her for other, more personal reasons as well.” Evienne held her mentor’s knowing gaze.“If we have played a role in Beitar’s decline and we do not realize it, that is one thing; but I cannot imagine the implications if what he suspects is true and someone here knows what we are doing.” Evienne closed her eyes and ran her hands through her already tousled hair.

“That is quite a choice to make.” Hestia nodded and leaned back in her armchair. “I suppose, then, you must consider what your values are. Is your loyalty to Queen Aldith greater than your hunger for the truth?”

Hestia paused as Evienne sighed and stared into the fire. She had expected Hestia to take this information in stride to a certain degree, but this total lack of surprise was a bit unexpected. Hestia had always seemed to just know things, though.

“That isn’t all that sits upon your heart, is it Dove?”

“No.” Evienne smiled slightly at her mentor’s ability to read her so easily. “Orion and I…” She felt a blush creeping up her neck. “Well, we’ve become quite close—physically— since he arrived.” Evienne took a deep breath.“Last night something happened between us that Orion said he has only heard of in Beitar’s folklore—something that requires Tuanadair magic that hasn’t been seen in decades. Because of what happened, he believes we are something called Còmhanam—some type of soulmates.” Evienne started massaging her temples.

“I see…and this was surprising because he assumed he was without his magic?” Hestia asked, her head tilted to the side in thought.

“Well, yes, he is without his magic. All of Beitar has now completely lost their connection to their magic except their King. No one of his generation has ever even shifted.” Evienne suddenly wondered at the implications of her mentor’s question. “Do… you think he has his magic?”

“I think, logically, if he believes there is a chance the Tuanadair’s magic is being suppressed by Ichorna; is there not also a possibility that it would become un-suppressed once he was outside Beitar’s borders?” Hestia’s brown eyes now felt piercing somehow as she looked at Evienne.

“I suppose…I suppose that could be possible.” Evienne’s mind was spinning. “It may well be the only rational explanation to what happened between us last night. But Còmhanam, Hestia? Is that a real thing?”

“I have heard the tales. I suspect there is truth to them, as there almost always is with folklore.” Hestia’s lip quirked up at the side. “Dove, if I have taught you anything, I hope it is the importance of curiosity and a love of the truth. Ask the questions others have yet to ask, pull on loose threads, seek out answers. Questions beget answers, and answers bring clarity. Clarity fosters balance.” Hestia reached out to take Evienne’s hand in hers. “Balance is what makes our magic powerful and keeps our world as it is meant to be.”

“I have not forgotten your lessons, dear teacher.” Evienne smiled at the older woman. “I just needed to hear from someone I trust that following this path—that many will call treason—is not lunacy.”

“No, clever one, I do not believe so. Treacherous, certainly; especially if any of your suspicions prove true. But I do not think it is unwise to pursue this course in the service of balance. Blind loyalty is something to be avoided,” Hestia said.

“And you think I am his Còmhanam? I don’t even fully understand what all that could mean,” Evienne said, her voice weary.

“I think it is possible. I am not sure what this man has to gain from lying to the most dangerous woman in what he believes may be an enemy court. Explore the logical possibilities and keep an open mind, Dove.” Hestia patted Evienne’s hand in a familiar gesture.“Now, let’s eat something. It’s too early to stage a coup, so let’s start with some pastries, yes?”

·

B ack at the palace, Evienne found Cecelia in her study, carefully wielding her physical magic to repair a page of an ancient tome. Evienne had come straight from Hestia’s townhouse and felt more settled now, but she needed to talk to her best friend.

“Evi, good morning!” Cecelia brightened as she looked up from her book. “It’s not our usual day, what a treat!”

Evienne smiled and plopped down on the couch.

“Cece, we need to talk. I…” She paused, not quite knowing where to start. She didn’t want to tell Cecelia everything Orion had shared with her without his permission. She decided to stick to the mate part.

“Have you read anything about the Tuanadair’s mate bonds?” She asked, glancing up at Cecelia.

“The Còmhanam bond? Sure, I’ve seen it in a few of their folk tales.”

“It’s real,” Evienne said plainly.

Cecelia stared at her with her mouth hanging open.

“It’s real, and I know because I have one, apparently.”

“You can’t be serious. Evi, it’s too early in the morning for you to joke with me like that,” Cecelia said with a slight frown.

“No, I’m being entirely serious, and I don’t really know what to think about it,” Evienne answered. She wanted to feel excited, but she was still scared as well. Cecelia made her way over to the couch and sat down next to Evienne, her expression now more shocked than anything else.

“How…how did you come by this information?” Cecelia asked carefully.

“There are some anatomical differences that we, uh, stumbled upon. It’s Orion if you hadn’t already put that together,” Evienne added.

“Well, obviously, you two seem…close,” Cecelia said, suppressing her laughter. “He seems really kind, Evi. Does spending time with him make you happy?”

Evienne paused a moment to consider. “Yes. Yes, it does make me happy to spend time with him. I think I’m starting to have feelings for him.”

Cecelia took Evienne’s hand in hers and gave her a small smile. After a long moment, Evienne looked into her friend’s face.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Do? What do you mean ‘do’? Just be ! Just feel what you feel and see where it leads. Don’t be afraid, Evi. You seem happy, and he seems kind, and those are the most important things. I know it’s overwhelming, and who knows if the bond thing is even real, but what you’re feeling for Orion is! I think you should do what feels right.”

“But he’s going to leave in a few weeks, and I’ll probably never see him again,” Evienne said, surprised at the emotion now clogging her throat.

“He may, and it might hurt you. Or he might stay, or take you with him, or any number of possibilities, no matter how unlikely. You cannot control the future, but you can miss out on the present. I think you ought to keep an open mind.”