Main Master

T here were days I missed colors. The vibrant yellow, orange, and reds of the New England fall. Crisp, grey winter mornings walking across the Bridgepoint campus in Chicago with my coffee. I missed the smell of coconut from summers spent at a random beach. The blue and green of the waves. Seafood. Laughter and live bands. My life had once been colorful. I’d always had motives, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t lived.

Was this living? Was being the ruling what I had always wanted? More than color? More than… life ?

The Death Waltz played in the background. I didn’t need to hear the voices on the screen to know the exact words the couple spoke. I had each one memorized, just as I had every detail of her beautiful face burned into my very being. And yet the beauty was fading. It wasn’t the same, and I knew why. Maybe I didn’t want to face the truth. That didn’t mean it didn’t happen.

Melissa.

That’s who I saw when I looked or thought of Vivia now. My heart ached, and I was torn between the two. I could kill my teacher. I could walk into her apartment this very minute and slit her throat, consequences be damned. It would be over with. My suffering. Braddock’s suffering. Maybe the worlds… I could do it. Or could I? She had a hold over me. One that went beyond what I was admitting to myself. One…that kept me seething on my sofa. I wasn’t sure I could truly kill Melissa. Had she been a good teacher, which she was, she would have made sure of it. Just as I did to those under my spell. Thing was…I wouldn’t know if I could kill her unless I tried, and that was dangerous on more levels than I could think about tonight.

“Tell me we’re going to stay here forever. I don’t want to go back to school.”

The wind blew Vivia’s dark hair around her face as I read her lips. Her voice echoed in my mind, reaching the deepest parts of me, leaving me even more hollow. She pushed the dark locks back, smiling for me as I held the camera trained on her. The truth was, she had been having the time of her life on our weekend getaway to the lake. But not me. All I could think about was my impending finals. I had to study. I had big plans. If we were ever going to have a future together, I had a lot to prove to her father. And we’d been so close at that point. She was pregnant when I recorded this video, and we hadn’t even known.

“Elec. Tell me. Tell me this is our lake. Tell me you love me and we’re never leaving.”

A smile wanted to come. I had beamed from behind the camera when she’d first said it. I didn’t now. It hurt that the woman I loved was tainted. That she’d been used to get something out of me. And what was that exactly? My cock? My…love? Melissa didn’t want me to love her. She had her men. Any man she wanted , thanks to her skills. Why do this to me? Why use Vivia, knowing how it would make me feel?

I did fucked up shit. Sure. But Melissa had crossed the line. She’d argue what I did with June wasn’t much different. Thing was, I had never fucked June. Kissed her…yes. I had done that. But that was it. And after this thing with Melissa, I wasn’t sure I wanted to see June again. Not like that. The thought hit a nerve. It pissed me off, ruining the comfort I’d once gotten pretending she was Vivia.

Vivia.

My eyes closed, and I hit the button on the remote, changing back to the multiple surveillance screens to those I kept my eyes on. There was no comfort in my past tonight. No refuge in my current position at the Gardens. My colors were dead. The smells and memories…dead. Just like her. I killed Vivia in our secret spot. Even if I couldn’t remember the act, I remembered coming to and seeing her unrecognizable body below me. My fists had been so cut up and swollen. I couldn’t even draw in my fingers all the way. They had been so stiff. The pain had been excruciating, but not as agonizing as putting the pieces together as screams flooded in. I had been breathing hard. I could barely move I was so physically drained. As if I’d been swinging down at her fragile body for hours. Maybe I had. It was Melissa’s voice that broke through first. Then someone else… Two people? Three? I wasn’t even sure anymore. My facts were blurred with desperation. With scenarios I constantly played so that I could solve the biggest mystery of all. But there was no mystery, because I was a killer. And I had killed Vivia. Everyone knew it. Everyone but me.

Ringing brought my lids cracking open. Had I thought I’d get to sleep early tonight? I grabbed my phone from my leather sofa, picking it up to look at the number. Braddock .

I didn’t have to answer. I could pretend sleep. The did need to rest his eyes sometime, didn’t he? Sleep. Darkness. Vivia…

I hit the button, bringing the phone to my ear. “Brad.”

“. We need to talk.”

“Tonight?”

A pause. “Yeah. Ally’s asleep. Is there somewhere we can go? I don’t want to wake her. She’s not okay.” Hesitation. “Neither am I.”

His tone told me that. From the moment I heard his voice, I couldn’t ignore the slight shake embedded within.

“Ok. I’m on my way, but I want to keep you close to your apartment in case she wakes. She’ll come looking for you. I’ll text when I make it to your floor. We can go to the bar there. It sounds like you could use a drink or two.”

“Damn right. I’ll be waiting.”

I hung up, ignoring how much I itched to throw back a few. Discipline wouldn’t allow it. I had slipped one too many times in the last few weeks. No more. I couldn’t take risks with the Collective High Council breathing fire down my neck. And after the Melissa and Jett buzz, boy were they tearing at the seams. Thanks to Keith’s video I made him reveal, the Uppers were deep in their own private investigations. It was going to take time, but not much, and that put more pressure on me.

Heading for the door, I didn’t pause as I grabbed my suit’s jacket and slid it on. Deep down, I knew this night was far from over. Getting caught up on what I’d missed while I was above ground hadn’t taken long. Watching Melissa and her new toy, Adrian, told me they were up to no good. And I knew his plan. I’d watched him fuck her. I’d heard his confession. Why is it that that video hadn’t disappeared when all the others were nonexistent? A mistake on her part? Did she want me to know Adrian Bulvere planned to kill Ronald, her husband?

No. She wouldn’t want more scandal associated with her name. It was my new lead guards taking over surveillance. She didn’t have them under her control, and I wasn’t going to let her find out they were new. I wasn’t going to tell anyone I discovered the secret either. Let Adrian do my dirty work. It was one last LaRoe I wasn’t going to have to take out. Accident. Murder. Let the Collective High Council discover Melissa’s new secret on top of the ones that were already no doubt being exposed. If they were busy focused on her, they weren’t focused on the Gardens…or me.

The click of the door sounded behind me as I pulled it shut, and the two guards down the hall stood straighter at my approach. My nod was mirrored, but silence followed me down the hall to my elevator. It didn’t take long to get in and make it to Braddock’s floor. Silence went to a buzz of music and voices as I stepped into the busy lobby. I barely had my phone to my ear before a passing Master called out and threw me a wave. He was drunk. I was envious of that.

“?”

“I’m here, Brad. Head to the lobby.”

The line went dead. I walked deeper into the opened area, taking in the emotions of those who surrounded me. Laughter from three Masters and one Mistress by the coffee cart. A wrinkled brow of a Master who stood with his face close to a slave’s. Aggression was obvious through the narrowed eyes and dominant stance. He didn’t appear happy, but the quick breaths told me the opposite story. He wanted the anger. Craved to release it on levels far exceeding the disapproving front he was staging for those who could see.

“Elec.”

I turned as Braddock approached. Our eyes locked, and his dilemma was all too real as I reached and held to his shoulder, leading him to the decently filled bar. We took a seat at a small table, off to the side. For seconds, he didn’t speak, he just stared at me with all the aggravation and rage he held.

“I’m not sure how much longer I can stay in that apartment. Tell me whatever you’re planning with Melissa is going to happen soon. Elec, I’m losing my fucking mind.”

I didn’t respond as a slave approached. I let Braddock make his order, only letting out a sigh as the blonde headed to the bar.

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but like I mentioned before, I need time.” He made a deep sound but stayed quiet as my hand lifted. “A few weeks. Maybe less. At the rate everything is going, it might implode a lot sooner than we imagine.

“You think so?”

“If you would have asked me two days ago?—”

“I did.”

I laughed, nodding. “Two days ago, I didn’t have the information I have now. I’m not in control of these events I’ve uncovered, but depending how fast they unfold…it won’t be long.”

Braddock reached over, taking his beer from the slave.

“A day is too long. My mind.” He squeezed his eyelids shut for the briefest moment. “The more I try to uncover, the worse my head hurts. I know Melissa fucked with my past. I just don’t know what’s real or not. It all seems real. The memories are… so vivid, as if I truly lived them.”

I shrugged. “You did. Just not in a way we classify as ‘real’. Real to most is physicality. It’s the physical body being present in the moment. That’s not how it works. What does the physical and memory share?”

Braddock’s brow drew in.

“Consciousness,” I supplied. “Your body is a vessel. A shell. Your mind is who you are. Physicality doesn’t make a moment real. Everything in your awareness exists as part of you. Your everyday life. The movie you sit down to immerse yourself in. Virtual reality. A story you’re told…” His lips parted, and I knew he was recalling Melissa mentioning something about stories. “Exactly. You see what you hear. You imagine it. Your brain inputs it as part of your existence. Now, if you’re susceptible enough, it wouldn’t be hard to manipulate how this information is received or… perceived . The character in that movie or video game becomes you. After all, you lived it, didn’t you? Same goes with a book you read or a story you’re told. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Braddock paused and a ‘knowing’ warped with anger. “I never served in the military. I was never homeless or in jail. They were stories she made me believe.”

My stare was all the answer Braddock needed as he nodded and looked down at the table. For minutes we stayed quiet. He drank his beer. Ordered another. Conversation came. Mellow. Everyday bullshit. For a moment, I wasn’t the , and he wasn’t a killer I supplied slaves to. It was just us: Braddock and Elec, old childhood friends. But the laughter and surrounding conversations cut through. I returned, I disappeared. I returned. I couldn’t deny a part of me was changing with the new lessons I was forcing on myself so that I could resist Melissa’s sway. But with more of a sense of the old me came rage far worse than that I held as the . My personality was warping, going from lack of emotion to a cold, vicious craze. One that promised violence far exceeding what I knew.

“What the—Fuck!”

Braddock was flying from the table before I could process him even standing. I turned, swallowing back my own curse as screams of help rang out. Allison slid to a stop, reaching for Melissa, but not touching her like she so clearly wanted. And I was the reason she didn’t. My programmed commands were unbreakable. Melissa didn’t seem to like that as I rushed out of the bar.

“What is going on here?”

Melissa tore her gaze away from Ally, but it didn’t stay on me as I rushed up.

“I asked you a question, Mistress. What is going on here?”

Melissa’s glare intensified as she looked between us.

“She was going to attack me. This slave is a danger. She’s like all the other blank slates who went rogue. I want her put down immediately.”

“Fuck you,” Brad exploded. “You’re not touching Allison.”

“She’s not stable. Look at her.”

“Not stable.” Braddock was standing behind his slave, but he didn’t want to. He was trying to get around her, and Ally was making it impossible.

“You’re not fucking stable. You’re a psycho-bitch who ruined my life! If anyone needs to be put down, it’s you. You’re sick, Melissa. You are the disease.”

Melissa’s lip peeled back as her full attention went to Braddock.

“What brave words you use.”

“Melissa.”

I stepped in front of her, but she only stepped wider.

“I’m sick of this. These two are not fit for the Gardens.”

“You’re going to pay, Melissa. Mark my words.”

“Brad.” My hand came back, but the two of them were slowly circling each other. I couldn’t have this happening. Not tonight. Not yet. “ Master Nineteen-oh-one ,” I growled. “To your apartment now.”

“Run home, Braddock. Run back inside your safe space.”

“Fuck you, Melissa.”

“Master.” Ally tugged at his shirt. “It’s time to go. Master. She’s not worth it. Remember our talk? She’ll pay the best way. She’ll fall. Let’s go.”

A look passed over Braddock’s face, and I felt relief almost instantly. He took Ally’s hand, letting her lead him away. It was Melissa’s expression that sent my pulse exploding. I knew that look. She didn’t use it often, but when she did, I knew there was about to be trouble.

“No fire and all fuse, Braddock Amell Pierce . So sad.” Melissa laughed. “Boom. Dead .”

Both Allison and Braddock’s bodies jolted. His fingers embedded in the slave’s hair, and I was yelling for the guards before I could process that I called out. My voice was loud, carrying through the echoing space, but I never heard the words I said. The two were tearing and attacking each other to the death, and to say I wasn’t affected by the tone Melissa used for Braddock’s name would have been a lie. It made my head foggy, making it hard to put one thought after the next.

“Ally, no! Ally!”

The slave went sliding on her stomach against the marble floor and Brad dove right on her, rearing back to connect with her cheek, once…twice.

Laughter. Melissa’s enjoyment played like crazed music around us. The guards were pulling Braddock and Ally apart, but not before her leg drew back, and she smashed her foot into his knee. Braddock’s entire body locked up, and all three men fell as they wrestled him to the ground. I lunged to crouch, inches from Allison. My teeth were grinding through the continued hum of giggles from the one woman who’s throat I wanted to tear out.

“ Alpha down .”

The order tumbled from my lips. Allison’s eyes locked with mine, and every muscle in her body froze. Maybe a part of mine did too.

I am the . I am in control of my own mind. No one controls me. I am the . I fucking run this place. I am in control. No one can control me but me.

Sadness. It filled her gaze as recognition began to dawn. My stomach flipped, and my chest twisted with emotion. Too much emotion I wasn’t used to. As fast as it came, it dissipated.

“At attention, Allison.”

We stood, still just as close.

“I didn’t mean it. I couldn’t stop myself. I’m sorry, . I’m sorry .”

“I know. Me too, Ally. …Me too.”

I couldn’t keep the thickness from my tone. Half anger—half grief. I liked Allison. I truly did. She made me smile. She made me feel safe. Like I had a true friend I could trust with my life. And she knew what was coming. The order was programmed into her just as much as I was.

“Braddock will miss you. You were a good slave.”

“Will you watch out for him? Keep him safe?”

“You know I will. And I won’t forget what you did for me. I thank you for that, Ally.” I frowned. “You have to go now.” I gesture to Nineteen, who stepped in next to her, ready to catch her body. “Goodbye, Ally.” I sighed. “Alpha Done.”

And just like that, the yells stopped at her collapse. Braddock’s fighting frame went rigid in the guard’s arms. I watched as the moment stretched out and how clarity took over from his murderous gaze. He was staring at his unconscious slave, changing right before our eyes. Allison wasn’t a threat anymore, therefore, his order was invalid. And Braddock was back. This time, I had to make sure it was for good.

“No….No! No, no! Ally? Allison!”

I glanced at Nineteen as he walked off, cradling the slave Braddock now fought to go after. He had tears streaming down his face, and I wasn’t sure if they were from his lost slave or from the pain of the abuse she’d put him through. His knee was broken. I didn’t have to be a doctor to see the unnatural angle of the bottom part of his leg. And his face was bloody and swelling in spots. But he didn’t seem to notice as his fury turned to the woman wearing the biggest smile.

“Bitch! You fucking cunt! I’ll kill you. So help me, I’m going to tear your insides out. I’ll fucking?—”

“Do nothing,” Melissa said, almost challengingly. “Look at what you just did to your own slave. You’re dangerous. That could have been anyone. You’re not well.” She turned to me. “You saw everything, Elec. He must be committed. The man is clearly sick and beyond our help.”

A cry left Braddock as the guards tried to control him. He wasn’t giving up, and I was half tempted to let him hobble over and give it his best shot.

“Guards, take him to Medical. You all are to stay with him until I get there.” I turned my full attention to Melissa. Green eyes searched mine expectantly as she waited for me to mirror her command. When it didn’t come, her expression shifted. I knew she was trying to hook me through our eye contact. I could feel the rolling of my mind. My lids were getting heavier. Yet, I refused to look away.

I am the . I am in control of my own mind. No one controls me. I am the .

“Mistress, you are to go to your apartment and stay there for the rest of the night. You’re lucky I’m not arresting you for instigating this fight. After I take it up with the Council, I still may.”

“ Excuse me? Instigating? What about what they did to me? I can’t laugh or say a few words to defend myself? What about what they did to themselves?”

“You are a Mistress and leader here at the Gardens,” I growled out. “You’re supposed to set an example of elegance and honor. You acted like a spoiled bitch, and I won’t have it. Go to your apartment, Mistress Two , and do not leave it again for the rest of the night. If you do, I will lock you up in Hell Row. Don’t believe me? Try it .”