Chapter 31

31

A manda

Halloween Eve

A couple of days had passed since I saw Elias at the food truck. Something was off with him. When he interacted with people, he was present, but shortly after, he’d disengage and go to his own world. Since we had a long day of trick or treating with EJ tomorrow, I wanted to make sure he was going to be good. Otherwise, I would offer to do it myself.

As curious as I was about what was going on with him, I hesitated to ask him about it. Normally, Elias had no problem talking to me. This evening, he’d barely said more than ten words to me. Was it because of Ryan? Had he seen us kiss? Sighing, I looked down into my cup and resisted the urge to put some tequila in my lemonade. The last time I was here, I smoked and drank and had to spend the night. I tossed and turned all night, wishing I could have crawled in his bed. Tonight was not going to be a repeat of that.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, I checked in on the kids in EJ’s room then went to find West or David. I spotted West first. He was on the patio smoking as usual.

“Wassup, sis?” he greeted, handing me the blunt.

As I accepted, I spoke back. “What’s going on with E? Does he seem off to you?”

West looked back toward the door. “He hasn’t told you anything about what happened?”

“No. What happened?”

His hand slid down his neck. “I don’t really want to tell his business, but maybe you can help.”

My heart raced as I handed him the blunt back. He was starting to scare me. What the hell happened?

“What’s going on, West?”

“Him and Fiona broke up.” I didn’t respond right away because I was sure there was more. I did, however, cover my mouth and the smile that lifted it. “Amanda!”

“What!” I yelled before laughing.

“This is serious.”

“Tell me why, because just hearing they broke up is good news to me.”

It was obvious he didn’t want to laugh, but he did anyway as he leaned against the railing. “The reason they broke up is what’s knocked him off his square.”

As he told me about Fiona keeping their relationship a secret and all the shit Declan said, my smile immediately fell. I knew how much Elias’s relationship with Declan meant to him, and I couldn’t imagine how this whole situation made him feel.

“Oh no. I hate this, West. When did this happen?”

“Monday. I’m surprised he didn’t say anything to you about it.”

“Well, we haven’t really been talking this week. I could tell he wanted to be to himself, but I didn’t think this was why. Let me go check in.”

I squeezed his shoulder and thanked him for telling me before heading back into the house. My eyes landed on Elias. He sat in front of the fireplace, sipping his beer. David said something to him, but it looked like his words went in one ear and out of the other as he stared at the flames. I made my way over and asked David if I could steal Elias away, and he obliged. Taking his hand, I led him to his room.

Elias waited until I closed the door to ask, “What’s wrong?”

Instead of replying right away, I pulled him into my arms for a hug. He froze but relaxed instantly and hugged me back.

“West told me about Fiona and Declan. I’m sorry, E.”

His hands were around my waist as I slid mine down his chest. I looked into his sad eyes. They made me question if he liked her more than I realized.

“Thank you, Mandy.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Is that why you were upset Monday?”

“I hadn’t talked to her yet. I had just left the meeting with Declan when I saw you. And I didn’t tell you because…” He shrugged as his eyes briefly shifted. “I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about the shit.”

“Do you want her back?”

He sucked his teeth and shook his head. “Nah, it’s not that. It’s the feelings beneath the surface. Shit stemming from what her father said. How that relationship ending is affecting me. How I thought I was so close to getting my family and now that’s dead—again. How I lost you.” His grip on me tightened. “I gave you up for her, Mandy, and she knew all that time there was a chance we wouldn’t be together. That’s what’s fucking with me most.”

“Technically, you didn’t lose me. I’m literally right here. We stopped having sex, but I’m sure you were doing that with her.”

That made him smile like I hoped it would.

“It was more than just sex with us, and you know that.”

I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t. “What was it then?”

When he caressed my cheek with his thumb, I shivered. “It was love. It was possession. It was territorial. It was desire. It was need. It was friendship. It was loyalty. It was toxic. It was real. It was us.”

Resting my forehead on his chest, I closed my eyes and pulled in a deep breath. He let me stay like that for a few seconds before lifting my head, looking into my eyes, and kissing my forehead.

“Thank you for checking on me.”

“Always. If you want to talk, you know I’m here. Once you get everything figured out in your head and heart, I’m here.”

He nodded, and we embraced. I’d planned to go home tonight, but it looked like EJ and I would be spending the night again.