Chapter 14

14

A manda

Since things were different between Elias and me, I finally felt comfortable sharing a different side of myself with him. Up until recently, I kept a lot of my heart, desires, and emotions hidden to protect myself and preserve them. Plus, it didn’t help that Mama drilled into me that men didn’t really give a fuck about that shit anyway. It took some time, but I finally felt safe sharing my dreams and goals with him. It wasn’t lost on me that he thought I didn’t want more for my life than partying and money. For a long time, I was okay with him or anyone else thinking that.

My self-awareness and perception were always great. It wasn’t my responsibility to change the way a person viewed me or what they thought of me. However, with Elias, that was changing. A part of me wanted to feel worthy of him. Or, at least, like a suitable partner. I thought maybe if I presented a better version of myself, he’d give us another chance. That ship sailed when he made it clear we couldn’t be together again. Still, I wanted to share this with him because we were friends, and I believed he would be happy for and proud of me. I wanted him in my corner for this next phase of my life.

I decided to stop by his place before he went to get EJ from his parents’ house. Since I was set to meet Felicity in a little while, it wasn’t an inconvenience for me to pop up on him. When I texted him to let him know I was here, he told me to let myself in. I found him in his bedroom cheesing as he looked for something more casual to wear.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” I asked, smiling myself as I sat on the small couch in front of his large bed.

“The most amazing thing happened today.”

“Spill. You’re damn near bubbling over with excitement.”

He released the cutest light laugh that made me smile even more. “Aight, so I decided to take Fiona out for brunch since I cut our date short yesterday.”

“Wait. You were with her before you came and got me?”

“Yeah, but don’t trip off that. I saw the exhibits and wanted to experience that with you. Don’t trip on it.” My eyes rolled but I let him continue. “So we went to brunch at the country club since she shared that’s where she usually spent her Sunday afternoons.” Of course she did. “While we were there, I mentioned to her that I felt a little more pressure this year for the holiday events because, even though Neko is giving feedback, it’s basically all on me to pull this shit off. If anything goes wrong, I’m responsible because I’m the one giving the ideas and signing off on everything.”

“I get that, but it’s gonna be great, E.”

His head shook. “Yeah, but you know I’m a perfectionist. So, I was telling her about the ideas I had, and we were brainstorming for a while, then she started networking and getting a lot of heavy hitters at the club to agree to come to the party and auction. I’m talking seven and eight figure club members, Mandy. We’re going to have billions in the room because of her. This is going to be the most lucrative year end events yet. I can feel it.”

“That’s great, Elias. I’m happy for you.”

I didn’t think it was possible, but he grinned even harder. “Thanks, bae. I was a little worried about the age difference and shit, but Fiona really showed me a different side of her today. She showed her value. She showed that we could be partners, and for a man like me, you know that’s everything. I don’t know. Today changed things for me with her. She might be the one.”

Licking the corner of my mouth, I nodded and gripped the couch. That certainly wasn’t what I expected him to say. I knew how important support, acceptance, and respect were to him. I bet she had his dick hard as fuck as she worked the room. A room I’d never bothered to enter with him.

I wouldn’t deny what I had to offer when it came to networking, but it was different. Because of my past, I was able to get athletes, rappers, and certain politicians to support the brothers at auctions when they first opened N.E. Art , but my reach was limited. They agreed, to impress me or get my pussy, whereas it seemed Fiona had bonds with people who could show support because of shared interest. Those were the kinds of connections the brothers could bank off for years.

As happy as I was for Elias, his news kind of made me not want to share mine with him. I stayed a little longer until he was finished getting dressed so he wouldn’t think something was off with me, then headed out when he prepared to get EJ. So much for me telling him my good news. It was probably silly, but I didn’t want him to think I was sharing my dreams and desires to compete with Fiona. So, I kept my dream close to my chest, to myself, like I’d been doing for the past few years.

“Girl, why didn’t you just tell him what you went over to tell him?” Felicity shrieked as I took a large gulp of my spiked lemonade. I didn’t give her all the details…just enough for her to understand my plight.

“How would that have looked, Felicity? Oh, that’s great that your girl can work rooms, make you money, and support you. By the way, I came here to see if you could do the same for me.”

Her neck damn near detached from her head with how hard she twisted her head in my direction. I laughed as she smacked her lips.

“Duh! That was exactly what you were supposed to say, crazy.”

“I couldn’t do that,” I whined. “How I look asking him for support when I haven’t supported him? Not in a while.” Felicity’s head shook in disagreement. “I mean, I helped them out a lot when they first started the firm, but lately, I haven’t been present. It just felt weird. I didn’t want to spoil his moment like that. He was on a cloud because of her and I just…couldn’t do that.”

“I get where you’re coming from, but I don’t think that would have been the case at all. If anything, I think it would have made him proud of you, cuz.”

“Maybe, but still. I’ve never been a one up type of person. I’m sure I’ll still tell him another day.”

She rolled her eyes at me and laughed. “You better. I don’t know what’s going on in that little head of yours, but I’m sure it’s awesome. If you don’t want to share it with me, please share it with him. I don’t care what’s going on with him and her…don’t dim yourself like that again, Amanda.”

I agreed because she was right. It wasn’t insecurity that made me stay silent, but I’d definitely dimmed myself to allow them to keep that moment. While I couldn’t say when I’d tell Elias, I would tell him eventually, because I knew he was the only person in my life that could help me bring my dreams to fruition.