Chapter 13

13

E lias

Since my first date with Fiona included a lot of talking and getting to know each other, I wanted our second date to be laid-back and fun. I could admit I had a better time than I expected. She was really cool and easy to talk to. Plus, she was mature for her age. Her being in her twenties, wanting marriage and kids surprised me, but it was cool because I wanted the same things. At this point, I wouldn’t say I felt like she was the one just yet, but I was interested in seeing how far things would go.

When the date first started, my heart dropped to my feet at the sight of Amanda. Not only did she look beautiful, making it hard for me to keep my eyes off her, but I thought it would be weird sitting with her and Fiona at the same time. Thankfully, that hadn’t been the case. So far, Amanda hadn’t mentioned the date or seemed weird when I checked in on her, so I guess we were back to our version of normal.

For the first part of our date, I took Fiona to cr8 , which meant a gondola ride along the river, where I purchased her roses that she swooned over. At cr8 , we made candles, and I knew she would love that cutesy shit. After that, we walked a little ways down to Mali Tyson’s botanic garden. They were having a fall exhibit that included Disney movies and characters created out of plants and flowers. I was glad Fiona liked it, but a part of me wished I would have brought Amanda here. I didn’t know what the theme was going to be when I planned the date, and she loved Disney everything.

There wasn’t a Disney movie she hadn’t seen, and if it was one of her favorites, she could recite it word for word. I remembered a couple of years ago, we did a challenge on social media where I started the opening credits to like ten movies, and she recognized each one in a matter of seconds. That was one of the lighter moments between us, and it was a memory that was engrained forever. The shit went viral, and I got her a collection of all the movies which made her cry.

Amanda hadn’t been the most emotional and expressive woman, so to see her soften like that meant a lot to me. I think that was why I remembered it so well. When I couldn’t shake the feeling of doing Amanda wrong, I decided to end the night at the exhibit early. I couldn’t focus on Fiona because I was thinking about my girl. It felt like I was in a goddamn love triangle, and I didn’t like that shit at all.

Fiona and I took the gondola ride back to our cars, and after taking her to grab something to eat, we went our separate ways. I didn’t even eat because I’d lost my appetite. I wasn’t sure how I planned to date and fall in love with another woman, in this city, and not have Amanda hovering in my heart and mind. A part of me felt like the right woman would make me forget about Amanda; the other part of me wanted Amanda to be the right woman. I knew that wouldn’t be the case though.

It wasn’t just because she cheated, though that was a big part of it. As good as I was to her, she didn’t appreciate it, and I couldn’t offer myself to her like that again. The biggest thing was I didn’t feel safe with Amanda romantically. Sexually, yeah. Platonically, yeah. But my heart? I felt like I’d be a damn fool if I gave it to her again. Plus, we didn’t want to live the same kind of lifestyle. I wanted a woman who wanted to live a more intentional and structured life, and that simply wasn’t her.

How she was wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t for me, and I never wanted to change her.

When she told me she loved me, after all these fucking years, that shit confused me.

It unlocked something inside of me that tightened the hold she had around me even more.

I guessed that was how I ended up at her apartment instead of home. Instead of going up, I called her.

“Hey,” she answered, lowering the music in her background.

“What you doing?”

“Getting ready to go out with my girls.”

“Cancel that. I wanna take you to see something. Dress casually.”

“Um, okay. I was literally about to slip on some clothes, so give me like ten minutes, and I’ll be down.”

“Aight, cool.”

I cut my music up and checked a few emails while I waited. Sure enough, she made her way down in about ten minutes. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her. Everything about this woman, even her flaws, was good. She’d done as I asked and dressed casually in a white tee, light washed skinny leg jeans, and Isabel Marant sneakers.

Two ankle bracelets were on her ankles, and she knew that shit was my weakness. The Rolex I’d gotten her earlier in our relationship was on her wrist, and she’d triple layered some chains around her neck. The long hair I loved pulling on while hitting it from the back was pulled up into a bun, and dark aviator shades covered her eyes.

For a while after we ended things the last time, I tried to convince myself my attraction and lust for Amanda was what made it hard for me to let her go, but that wasn’t the truth. Outside of my love for her and desire to give her all that she deserved, she was a challenge to me. Amanda was the first woman that wasn’t impressed by who I was and what I had to offer. She didn’t care if she had my love and loyalty. She didn’t want a ring and my last name. All she wanted was my dick and a good time.

I wanted to tame her. I wanted to make her love me. All these years later, I felt like I failed, but my son came from the process, and with him…I’d won.

I got out so I could open her door, and she smiled. “Look at you tryna match my fly.”

Absently, I looked down and chuckled. I had on a white tee and light wash jeans too, which was crazy.

“Now folks gon’ be thinking I’m tryna match your ass on some couple shit,” I teased, giving her a hug.

“So? You could do a hell of a lot worse than me.”

“There’s no one better,” I admitted as she got in the car, causing her to pause and look up at me with a smile before getting fully inside.

After making sure she was good, I went back to my side, and we were on our way. I ignored her questions about where we were going as I headed to her favorite bookstore— Booked and Brewed . There, I got her the hardcover set of the Disney villain series she’d mentioned wanting, then took her to the botanic garden.

When she realized what this season’s theme was, a sad expression covered her face before she cried. It caught me so off guard it took a while for me to console her.

“Mandy,” I called softly with a chuckle as I held her close.

“I love this. It’s so beautiful. It’s my favorite. And you thought of me?”

“I always think of you,” I confessed, wiping her tears.

Her chin trembled and lip poked out as she pouted. After kissing my hand, she tugged me toward the first display. “Come on, bookie. We have to take lots of pics.”

A Few Hours Later

I was mesmerized by the sight of my dick sliding in and out of Amanda’s tight, wet, warm pussy. She was cumming and gushing all over my shit. Her ass clapped and smacked against me, creating a rhythmic melody that flowed beautifully with the sound of our moans and curses. I took the tie that held her hair up and tossed it somewhere behind me, then fisted her hair.

My strokes hardened as I gripped each cheek. Each whimper she released as she gripped the sheets and fucked me back only fueled me to keep going. I wanted to please her—needed to please her. Needed to make her feel a way no other man could.

“Please,” she whispered, looking back at me.

Her sexy ass knew what she was doing when she licked her trembling lips and inhaled a shaky breath.

“Please what, bae?”

“Make me cum again.”

“With pleasure,” I moaned, gripping her waist and arching her back. She spread her cheeks, giving me the perfect view of my dick sliding into her pretty pussy. I loved when she watched me fuck her, but my goal was to make her eyes roll into the back of her head.

Each swift stroke was like a tap against a ball nearing the edge of a roof. When her moans turned into a groan and silence, we were there. Those slanted eyes rolled before they closed, forcing her to release her cheeks. They clapped against me as she came.

“Fuck!” I roared, spilling my seeds inside of her as my body convulsed. It wasn’t my plan to cum so fast, but I couldn’t help myself.

I didn’t want to be out of her yet, so when she lay down, I went right along with her. Pushing her hair off her face, I kissed her cheek.

“I feel bad,” she replied breathlessly.

“Why?” I asked, allowing my eyes to drift closed.

“Fiona’s nice. How are you going to really give that a chance if you’re—”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“I can’t help it. This feels different, E. She really might be the one.”

Sucking my teeth, I remained silent. This was the last thing I wanted to talk about right now.

“I feel like you tell women about me early on because, deep down, you know any woman worth anything is not going to be okay with this. You didn’t really want to take it seriously because you wanted this with me.” My eyes opened as I considered her words. That might not have been what I was consciously doing, but I couldn’t deny it wasn’t true. “I don’t want this to be the reason you don’t get what you want, Elias. Promise me you’ll give her a genuine chance.”

A sigh escaped me as I pulled out of her and rolled her onto her back. She wrapped her legs around me as I slipped back inside.

“I will promise you that if you promise not to let me go. Not right now, Mandy. I need you. I love you. I’m not ready.”

Her eyes closed and brows wrinkled. I stroked her slowly, softly. The sound of our mixed cum filled the room—reminiscent of stirred, cheesy pasta. As a tear slid down her cheek, I kissed it away. We agreed to stop kissing again, but I couldn’t help but cover her lips with mine.

“Promise me,” I commanded, circling my hips and making her cry out as she held me close.

“I-I promise,” she moaned, holding my cheek as I connected her lips with mine.