Chapter Thirty-Three

"Mila!" I roar, racing toward her crumpled body on trembling legs. My heart pounds a frenetic, painful rhythm, threatening to crack in half at the sight of her lying in the sand, not moving. Her blood mixes with rain, darkening the sand around her.

Fuck.

Fucking Christ.

Guerrero fucking shot her.

I didn"t even think to make sure he didn"t have another gun on him somewhere.

I drop to my knees beside her, shoving Carter out of the way to get to her. She"s breathing, her chest rising and falling steadily. Fighting back a wave of terror-induced dizziness, I check her over with shaking hands.

There"s a bullet hole in her right shoulder. It"s clean, with an exit wound high up on her back beside her shoulder blade. My hands slip and slide across her damp skin as I run them over her, looking for any other damage and finding none.

"Call an ambulance," I order Carter, grabbing my cell from my pocket and tossing it in his direction.

Tahani drops to her knees across from me, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wraps her little arms around herself, her face paling as she stares down at her best friend. The sight tugs at my heart. I want to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay, but I don"t have time to comfort her when Mila"s still bleeding.

Christ, baby, don"t bleed out on me. Please don"t fucking bleed out on me.

"Hold her," I order my daughter, letting go of Mila long enough to rip my shirt off over my head. Once I"ve got it off, I tear it down the middle and bind it tightly across Mila"s shoulder, trying to staunch the flow of blood. As soon as that"s done, I pull her limp body out of Tahani"s lap and back into my arms.

The rain picks up, falling faster. It"s cool against my bare skin, but I don"t give a fuck.

"I"m so sorry," I whisper over and over, my voice thick with unshed tears. I brush her hair back from her pale face and rain kisses across her cool skin.

She"s so still in my arms.

If she doesn"t wake up because of that motherfucker…if our baby dies because of him…

No. That"s not going to happen. I won"t fucking let that happen.

"The ambulance is on the way," Carter murmurs, dropping to the sand beside me. He hangs his head, his shoulders slumped. When he speaks, shame and guilt mingle in his voice. "I"m so fucking sorry, Gregory. I should have checked him for another gun. I shouldn"t have taken my eyes off him."

I shouldn"t have either. We both fucked up.

Jesus, why can"t I ever seem to get it right with Mila?

She"s the reason my fucking heart beats, but every move I make ends up with her hurt. The realization makes me feel so fucking small and helpless. All I"ve ever wanted to do is to protect her, to keep her safe and sweet and happy. Instead, I"ve failed her over and over, letting my world touch her again and again.

I don"t deserve her.

Please, baby, forgive me for this.

Gritting my teeth in a desperate attempt to fight back the pain threatening to knock me over, I push myself to my feet, keeping Mila in my arms. I hold her carefully, trying to shelter her from the rain and keep pressure on her wound at the same time.

Tahani hops up beside me and reaches out to help. She hesitates, her hand trembling over the shirt tied tightly around Mila"s shoulder. Her gaze meets mine, filled with uncertainty.

"Hold it tightly," I manage to grit out to her.

She nods once, her expression clearing. She bites her lip and then presses both hands to Mila"s shoulder, applying pressure from both sides before she looks up at me again with a silent question in her eyes.

"Just like that," I tell her. She"s been through hell today―has seen more of my world than I ever wanted her to see―but she"s pushing through it the best she can for Mila. Sooner or later, she"ll crack, but for now, she"s holding it together for the woman in my arms. I"m so fucking proud of her.

As sirens wail in the distance, we stumble up the beach toward the parking lot. Carter stays behind to guard the crime scene. There are a few people gathered on the far side of the beach near the pier, staring at us. None try to approach us, though. Not that I blame them. Not after the bullshit that just went down out here. Not with two dead bodies lying in our wake.

By the time we make it to the stairs leading up to the parking lot, Santa Cruz officers and ambulances fill the parking lot. Blue lights and sirens rip through the air. Chaos erupts around us as two officers pound down the stairs toward us. They take one look at Mila and try to take her from my arms.

"I"ve got her," I snarl. I can"t let her go. I fucking can"t. As fucked up as it is, even now, I don"t want anyone else"s hands on her but mine. I got her into this shit. Some part of me desperately needs to be the one who gets her out of it. If I don"t, I"m going to lose what little composure I have left.

One officer backs away without a word and then jogs down the beach toward Carter.

"Let me help, Gregory," the other mutters.

I meet his sympathetic gaze and realize I know him. He"s the officer who responded to the condo what feels like eons ago, the night Tahani found out about me and Mila. My gaze flickers across his name badge—Evan Arias.

"I won"t take her from you. Just let me help you get her to the ambulance," he says again, his voice soft, like he knows exactly what I"m going through, exactly why I can"t let her go.

I nod reluctantly.

He quickly shuffles Tahani out of the way, taking her place. He helps hold Mila steady as I climb the stairs, my boots threatening to slip on the wet wood. Somehow, though, we manage to make it to the parking lot. There are police cruisers all over the place, their lights and sirens still blaring.

Uniformed officers and medics rush toward us in a blur of motion. A warning growl rumbles in the back of my throat, every muscle in my body tensing. I know they"re here to help her, but I"m hanging on by a thread. I need to get her to the ambulance. Maybe then I"ll be able to breathe.

"Back up," Arias orders. His hard voice cracks through the chaotic roar.

Despite the fact that half of the men surrounding us are twice his age, and a few have stripes on their shoulders, signifying that they outrank him, they listen to the command in his voice. They back off a few steps, allowing us to carry her to the ambulance. I have to fight the urge to snarl at the paramedic who takes her from my arms and places her on the stretcher.

A hand on my chest stops me when I try to climb in behind her.

"Steady," Arias says quietly when I turn on him and growl. He watches me with wary eyes. He isn"t afraid of me, but recognition burns in his eyes like he knows precisely how close I am to losing it. Like maybe he"s been there a time or two himself. "Let them do their jobs, Gregory. She"ll be okay with them."

"She"s pregnant," I choke out.

"Jesus," he mutters before turning to the paramedic. "She"s pregnant, Ben."

"Fuck," the man mumbles quietly but doesn"t stop working. If anything, the news has him moving more quickly as he slips an oxygen mask on her face before going right back to tending to the bullet wound.

Another paramedic comes at me, his face grim as his eyes flicker across my face. I don"t know what kind of damage Guerrero did to me, but my cheek stings, and my jaw throbs. My ribs are fucking killing me too. None of that matters, though.

"Where"s my daughter?" I demand, turning away from the ambulance. My gaze sweeps over the crowd milling every which way around the parking lot. It"s organized chaos, everyone moving with purpose. My eyes land on Tahani as a paramedic lifts her into a second ambulance, a blanket around her shoulders.

My girls are safe.

Relief washes through me in a flood that has me swaying on my feet. I pull in my first deep breath since Mila told me that Guerrero had them blocked in. The vise around my heart loosens. Tears prickle at the back of my eyes, but they don"t fall. I"m so goddamn tired, I just want to sleep.

"Fuck me," Arias barks, grabbing me by the arm.

"I"m fine," I mumble, but we both know I"m full of shit. I haven"t slept in almost forty hours. Without adrenaline pushing me forward, I"m ready to collapse. Not yet, I remind myself. Not until Mila"s okay. When she opens those gorgeous green eyes again, I"ll sleep.

"Fucking stubborn," Arias mutters when I push myself upright, drawing on every energy reserve I have to stand on my own two feet. "What the fuck happened out there, man?"

Before I can respond, an officer with lieutenant stripes on his shoulder stomps toward us, a scowl on his ruddy face. He"s about a foot shorter than I am and bulky. The anger in his eyes makes it clear he"s spoiling to make someone"s day a hell of a lot worse. I have a feeling it"s going to be mine.

"Agent Gregory?" he barks.

I nod reluctantly, glancing down at his badge. Lieutenant Danvers.

"Care to explain why I have two dead bodies on my beach and your SAC breathing down my fucking neck?" he asks, his hands on his hips.

"Not really," I mutter, not in the mood to deal with this shit right now.

His face reddens until he looks like his head might explode.

"Agent Gregory," the paramedic—Ben—calls from the ambulance behind me before Danvers has a chance to blow up.

I immediately turn in his direction, dismissing Lieutenant Danvers. Any other day, I"d play nice with the man and make Finn proud. Federal agencies and local law enforcement agencies get along a hell of a lot better than most people think. We"re all one big fucked-up family, and we depend on one another to get shit done. But today isn"t that day. Not with Mila in an ambulance and her blood still soaking into my pants.

"Yeah?" I ask Ben, lifting weary eyes to him.

"She"s awake and asking for you, sir."

With my heart in my throat, I take the two steps to the ambulance doors and pull myself inside.

Ben moves out of my way, pressing himself against the side to make room for me.

Mila"s on the gurney, hooked up to monitors and an IV. She"s so pale and small, my heart bleeds.

I walk on wooden legs toward her and drop to the bench beside the stretcher.

"Roman," she says, her voice muffled by the oxygen mask over her face.

"Baby," I whisper, tears welling in my eyes.

Hers are wide, full of fear and pain, but as soon as those beautiful eyes meet mine, her expression softens, fear leeching away. Love shines in those green depths, annihilating what"s left of my composure. After everything she"s been through because of me, she"s still looking at me like I"m a fucking hero. Like I"m her hero.

Overcome with emotion, I drop my head to her stomach.

Her left hand combs through my hair.

For the second time in as many days, I fucking break down and cry.

"How is she?" I ask the same ER doctor who took care of her when she fell down the stairs, staring up at the man through bleary eyes. Pushing myself to my feet, I stride across the small waiting room to meet him, not giving a shit if Danvers and his detectives are done asking me questions or not.

We"ve been here for hours, and I haven"t gotten to see her since we stepped over the threshold. Tahani"s with her, watching over her while I deal with Danvers.

Dr. Lina"s gaze runs over the uniformed men scattered around the room, one eyebrow rising before he quickly schools his expression again. I"m guessing it"s not every day twenty or so cops are crammed into one of his waiting rooms together. I don"t even know who the fuck half of them are, but they"re here anyway.

Some, like Danvers, are here because they have to be. Others, like Finn, Arias, Carter―even a few I don"t know―are here to lend their support. Like I said, doesn"t matter what agency you work for, we"re one big family. No one goes through shit like this alone.

Finn, Arias, and Carter flank me, standing at my back as Dr. Lina stops in front of me.

"She"s going to be fine, Agent Gregory," Dr. Lina says, pitching his voice so it doesn"t carry beyond our little group.

I plant my feet to keep my legs from buckling as hard knots of fear loosen all over my body. My head bows for a moment, a fervent prayer of gratitude issuing from my lips.

Finn claps his hand on my shoulder.

"The bullet went straight through," Dr. Lina continues. "We cleaned out the wound and stitched her up. She will be sore for a while and probably need physical therapy to rebuild strength in that arm, but she will be just fine."

"And the baby?" I ask softly.

"Ms. Lawson has been through a lot," he says like I don"t already fucking know that. "The pregnancy appears to be progressing normally. Her HCG levels are rising, which is a good sign, but it"s still very early in her pregnancy. In a week or two, we should be able to detect a heartbeat, which will give us a better indication of where things stand. But for now, you need to keep her calm, minimize her stress, and let her heal."

"I…" I swallow hard and nod, praying like hell that things continue to look good. "Thank you," I mumble to Dr. Lina.

He nods, slipping his hands into his coat. "I"d like to keep her here overnight to keep an eye on her. We"ll get her out of here if everything still looks good tomorrow."

The last thing I want her to have to do is spend the night here, but I"ll do whatever she needs.

"One other thing," he says before I can stumble away. His gaze sweeps over the crowded waiting room again before he shakes his head and gives me a wry smile. "You might want to finish up here soon. The main waiting room is starting to get crowded. We"re going to need this room."

"We"ll be out of your hair soon," Finn promises him.

"Good luck, Agent Gregory," Dr. Lina says. "I"m sure I"ll see you in the morning."

Yeah, he will. I"m not leaving this hospital until Mila does.

Christ, I need to see her.

As Dr. Lina walks away, I turn to Finn.

"Are they done with me yet?" I ask him, knowing damn well that Danvers has been dragging this shit out for as long as possible to piss me off. And I get his frustration. Two women and a Sacramento police officer were kidnapped and brought to his city. The men responsible died on his beach, one by my hand. He"s going to be doing paperwork for the next month straight. Any other day, I"d empathize with him. But I"ve told him everything I"m willing to tell him.

"Not likely," Finn snorts, narrowing his eyes on Danvers. He"s pissed about the man"s attitude too. "Go see your girl, Roman. I"ll deal with the rest of this shit."

"Thanks."

"Don"t thank me yet," he mumbles so only I can hear him. "You aren"t even remotely close to finished answering my fucking questions."

"Didn"t think I was," I mutter, knowing damn well he"s referring to the fact that Brady and Selena Ortega are missing in action. He isn"t going to like what I have to say about that when the time comes. We"ll be fucking lucky if Brady and I have jobs once the dust settles, but I don"t regret my decision to help her disappear. She isn"t a pawn for Francisco, his rival cartels, or the federal government; neither is her kid.

"Go take care of your girl, Roman."

I open my mouth to thank him again when Tahani pops her head into the waiting room. She looks as tired as I feel, with red-rimmed eyes and sagging shoulders. She"s changed into a pair of scrubs that are too big for her. She looks tiny and fragile, exactly like Mila did yesterday. The sight tugs at my heart.

"Daddy," she says, walking straight into my arms.

I drop a kiss on top of her dark head and squeeze her before setting her back on her feet.

"What"s wrong, kiddo?"

Her gaze darts around the room, her bottom lip going between her teeth. "Trent will be here in a few minutes," she mumbles. "I came out to meet him."

"Good." There"s no one else I"d trust with my daughter right now. It"s going to be a long fucking time before I forget that she could have been killed because of me. A long time.

Finn clears his throat and steps up beside me. "Hey, sweetheart," he says. "It"s been a while. You okay?

She eyes him for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip, and then she looks at me. "I need to talk to him," she whispers.

"About what?" My brow furrows.

"I speak Spanish fluently."

"I know that. I taught you."

She huffs and rolls her eyes at me like I"m missing the point. "I know you know that, but they didn"t know that."

"Son of a bitch," Carter mutters from beside me, immediately understanding what she means.

She"s talking about Guerrero and Julio. She heard whatever they were talking about today.

"I listened to every word they said," she says, looking at Finn this time. She carefully avoids my gaze, knowing damn well I don"t want her getting any deeper into this shit. But…fuck…if she heard them, she may have information that"ll help bring the rest of Guerrero"s people down. The team scooped up the guns and drugs today, but a lot of his people are still MIA.

"Roman?" Finn looks at me, leaving the choice up to me.

My first instinct is to tell him not to even fucking think about it. I"m her father and want to protect her exactly like I"ve been trying to do for the last ten years. But that hasn"t worked out so well for me, and that fact has never been as clear as it is right now. Had I been honest with her from the beginning, maybe shit would have gone down differently today. Maybe she would have been prepared. Because I wasn"t truthful, I left her vulnerable. As much as it kills me to admit it, not telling her everything could have gotten her killed.

"Find out what she heard," I mutter to Finn and then shoot a hard look at Tahani. "But don"t you even fucking think about getting involved, Tahani Anne McPherson, you hear me?"

"I won"t," she promises, smiling at me like I"m the best father ever.

"Jesus." I pull her to me and hug her hard. "I love you, kid."

"Love you too, Daddy," she says.

I look at Finn and shake my head before raking a hand through my hair. "Don"t let Danvers get near her," I mumble for his ears only. The last thing I need is for Danvers to find out about Selena Ortega and Pedro Francisco"s kid. There"s no fucking way he"d leave that out of his report.

Finn jerks his chin, letting me know he"s got her.

Arias and Carter surround her, making it clear they"ve got her too. I don"t know what the fuck I did to inspire loyalty from Arias, but I"m grateful for it regardless. I know she"ll be fine with him, Carter, and Finn watching over Tahani until Trent gets here.

With Tahani taken care of, I turn, only to come to a dead stop as my eyes land on the motherfucker stepping into the waiting room in a suit and tie, his blond hair slicked back.

"Hell no," I growl, cold fury turning my blood to lava. I"m across the room in two steps, my hand around his throat.

"M-Mr. Gregory!" Damien Wentworth"s blue eyes go wide as his head smacks against the wall.

"Daddy!" Tahani cries as half a dozen cops rush us, trying to drag me away from him.

"I don"t know who the fuck called you or why the fuck you think you have the right to show up here but get the fuck out," I snarl inches from his face. "She wasn"t yours when you thought you had her; she isn"t yours now, and she"ll never be yours."

"I…I…" Damien pries at my hands as Finn and Evan try to haul me off him.

"If you ever try to come near my fiancee again, you better fucking hope it"s in a room just like this so they can remove my fucking boot from your ass." I shove him against the wall before releasing him. "You slept with her boss, you piece of shit."

"I…" He rubs his throat, his eyes wide and startled. "It was an accident."

"Right," I say, my lip curled in disgust. "Lucky for you, she never fucking loved you. You were just a placeholder for me. But you aren"t needed anymore. You"ll never be needed again. Get the fuck out."

"I just wanted to make sure she"s okay. They called me because I"m her emergency contact."

"Not anymore. She made it clear that she didn"t want to fucking see you ever again when she ghosted your sorry ass." I glance at Finn. "Get him the fuck out of here. He isn"t to go anywhere near her room."

Finn jerks his head in a nod, amusement lighting his eyes. "Will do."

Damien sighs heavily, his eyes running around the room, taking in the line of cops who now stand at my back, glaring at him instead of trying to stop me from knocking his teeth out. Even fucking Danvers is looking at him like he"s shit on his shoe. "I"ll go," he mutters. "Tell her I"m sorry."

"Hell no," Tahani growls. "She"s moved on and forgot all about you. She"s happy with someone who knows how to love her. Someone who deserves her. We aren"t telling her a damn thing about you, Damien."

Damien glances at me, jealousy eating him alive. Good. It fucking should. I hope he spends the rest of his goddamn life remembering exactly what he lost. It"s what he deserves. I don"t plan to be him. I"ve fucked up with her so many times, in so many ways. For four damn years, I"ve been fucking up with her. He"s proof of that.

But it ends here. I"m done failing her. It won"t ever happen again.

"Get him out of here," I say, stepping around him, desperate to see her. To hold her. To tell her how fucking sorry I am for everything she"s been through because of me. I just pray to God that, when it"s over, she"s still willing to make me the luckiest motherfucker on the planet by tying her life to mine permanently and marrying me.

I don"t deserve her, but I plan to keep her anyway. I"m greedy like that. For her, I"ll always be greedy like that.