Chapter Twenty

"I'm not ready to go," I whisper, pressing my forehead to Mila's, my hands sinking into her thick hips. "Christ."

My heart feels like it's trying to claw its way out of my fucking chest at the thought of leaving.

"You have to go." She drags her hands through my hair, her voice sweet. "Your boss needs you. Besides, I'll only be a few days behind you."

A few days sounds like a fucking lifetime when she's been in my bed and on my cock every day for the last three weeks. I want to tell her to skip her fucking interview tomorrow and come with me now, but I swallow the words back, trying like hell not to be selfish with her.

"You're coming straight to the house when you get to LA," I growl, palming her ass. "No stopping."

"What if I have to pee?"

The smile in her voice tells me that she's fucking with me.

"Hold it, Mila."

"What if I want food?"

I press my lips to her ear. "I intend to feed you my cock as soon as you're back in my arms, Mila. You won't need food."

She moans, pressing her hot little body up against mine. "Roman," she cries. "You can't say things like that when you're leaving!"

I hide my smirk against her shoulder. "Should have thought about that before you started fucking with me, Mila. Now, you'll spend the next three days thinking about choking on my cock."

She whimpers, her face going to my throat. "You're so mean to me."

"Mean?" I crane her head back until her eyes meet mine. "No, baby. If I were being mean to you, I'd tell you that you aren't allowed to touch my fucking pussy until I see you again."

Her eyes go comically wide. "You wouldn't."

I briefly consider it—torturing her for the next three days, making her live in the same fucking agony I'm going to be living in until she's wrapped around my cock again—but quickly discard the plan. Getting this woman off is my motherfucking mission in life. If I can't have her in my bed tonight, she'll ride her pretty little fingers and scream my name while I watch Facetime.

"Keep fucking with me," I say instead of telling her that, and then I nip her bottom lip. "You know how much I love refusing to let you come until you're begging for mercy, baby."

"Yes," she says, bobbing her head empathically, her eyes wide and dramatically. "That's because you're a controlling, dominant pain in my a—"

I crush my mouth to hers before she can finish that sentence and get herself into the trouble we both know she's itching for. I wrap my tongue around hers, drawing it into my mouth to suck on it.

Her legs tremble beneath her, her fingers pulling at my hair. Goddamn. I love when she gets rough. My balls throb, need for her churning through me like lava.

I reluctantly drag my mouth from hers, pressing sweet kisses to each corner of her mouth and then to her cheeks. "I'm going to miss the fuck out of you, baby."

"I'll miss you too, Roman." She sighs sadly, pushing her way back into my arms—removing every ounce of space between us. We just hold each other for a long moment, reluctant as hell to let go.

Christ, I don't want to fucking let go.

"Promise me something?" she whispers after a minute.

I don't even have to ask to know what she wants from me. Tahani. My daughter has been weighing heavily on her mind since she ran out of here three days ago. I've texted her daily to tell her I love her, but otherwise, I'm giving her space. I know she'll come to me when she's ready. That's how Tahani operates. I can't force her to forgive me before she's ready, as much as I want to do exactly that.

She deserves this time to be pissed off. It fucking kills me that she isn't talking to Mila either, though. Mila doesn't deserve that shit, especially not from my daughter. It's my goddamn fault, and I don't know how to fix it. Because I don't think my daughter is necessarily pissed that I'm with Mila. That's not why she's ignoring us. She's hurt because I've shared things with Mila that I won't talk to her about. She feels betrayed.

How the fuck do I fix that when this is the one thing I can't give her? I'm her father. It's my job to protect her. Telling her the truth about what I do for the ATF and the men I work with isn't protecting her. It'll only serve to ensure she spends the rest of my damn career looking over her shoulder, worrying every fucking day that she's going to lose me to some asshole with a grudge. I don't want that for her.

But I can't explain that to her, either. I've made a royal goddamn mess of things. All I can do right now is wait her out until she's ready to talk. It's not enough.

I know what I need to do to fix it. But fuck, I never thought that day would come. At least not for a long fucking time.

But it looks like it'll be coming a helluva lot sooner than I thought.

"She needs time, baby," I murmur to Mila, curving my hand around her jaw to tip her head back. "She'll come around. We just have to be patient."

Her face falls. "But—"

"Give her time, sweetheart. I promise you, she'll come around."

Mila's beautiful eyes skim across my face, searching for something—some hint that I'm right, some assurance that she isn't losing her best friend, some guarantee that I'm not going to lose my daughter. Eventually, she sighs again, the sad sound breaking my heart.

"Okay," she whispers.

I touch my mouth to hers in a lingering kiss, my chest pulsing with emotion. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I reluctantly climb into the truck, leaving my entire fucking heart behind.

Instead of going to the condo when I get to LA, I head to the office to see Finn. I find him buried under a mound of paperwork in his office, his bald head gleaming under the fluorescent lights.

"Well, look what the fuckin' cat dragged in," he says, grinning at me. He crosses his arms, the seams of his shirt stretched to capacity. Finn is a big motherfucker. He played football in another life and could have gone pro, but decided law enforcement was more his speed.

"You're the one who exiled me." I lean against the wall across from him, smirking. "But I'm glad to see that you were in a hell of your own making while I was in Santa Cruz."

His smile slips, his gaze drifting to the stack of paperwork on his desk. "Don't make me kick your big ass out of my office, Roman. Half of this shit is your doing." He rifles through it for a minute and pulls a stack of papers out, holding it out to me. "Sign all this shit while you're here."

"What is it?"

One dark brow wings up his ebony forehead. "You killed someone, motherfucker. What do you think it is?"

"Shit." I push away from the wall, striding toward his desk to sign the fucking forms saying I've crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's and am fit to return to duty.

I snatch a pen from his desk, leaning down to start signing. I don't bother reading the shit. Finn and I have worked together for ten years. I trust the man with my life. He wouldn't fuck me over. He needs me too goddamn much.

"What's the situation here?" I ask.

"Same shit, different day." Finn sighs. "Guerrero and his people are lining up rival cartels and knocking them down. We just cleaned up our third dead body, and word on the street is that we can expect a whole helluva lot more before he's finished."

"Jesus Christ," I mutter. It's what we expected, but it's still not what I wanted to hear. A cartel war is the last thing we need popping off. "The guns?"

He hesitates.

"Just tell me."

"They're the reason I called you back. The gun we found at the shooting last night is one of ours."

I close my eyes, hanging my head in defeat. "I almost hoped they"d sent them across the border."

"Me too, but it looks like they're going to use the fucking weapons we put in their hands to initiate this cartel war."

"Does Brady know?"

Finn shakes his head. "Didn't see a reason to tell him. I'm trying to get him transferred off the task force because he feels so fucking guilty. He doesn't need one more goddamn thing to live with." He narrows his eyes on me. "And you aren't going to tell him either."

I jerk my chin in a nod. "Agreed."

Finn blinks, suspicion written all over his face. "You actually fucking called him."

"Yeah." I finish signing and toss my pen down on his desk, sighing. "You were right."

A grin slides across his face before he cups a hand around his ear. "Say that again."

I flip him off, making him grin. "He's fucked up over it already. No need to add to it, especially since I fully intend to find those fucking guns and get them back."

I have no fucking clue how we're going to accomplish that, but one way or another, we're taking our shit back. If Guerrero wants to start a war, he isn't going to use our weapons to do it. Fuck that.

Finn cocks his head to the side, eyes narrowed on me. "Something is up with you. You're being way too fucking reasonable."

Reasonable? I don't feel reasonable at all. If anything, I feel less reasonable than ever. In a matter of days, one of the two most important things in the world to me will be in this city, where I'm a goddamn target and a cartel war is brewing. There's nothing reasonable about that.

The only way to protect her is by stopping Guerrero. I'll do whatever the fuck I have to do to ensure we accomplish that. I don't have another choice. Mila will be safe. There is no other option, not one I'm even willing to entertain.

"How do you deal with having your wife in this city?" I ask Finn. He's been married for a few years now. He rescued his wife from an MC.

"Why? You thinking about bringing Tahani to LA?"

I shake my head, scrubbing a hand down my face. In all the time we've talked over the last couple of weeks, I haven't told him about Mila. Shit, I've never told him about Mila.

"I have someone," I say carefully, not sure how the fuck I even begin to explain that my daughter's best friend is the only woman I've thought about for the last four fucking years. "Someone who's mattered for a long goddamn time."

"Mila," Finn says, shocking the hell out of me. He must see the look on my face because he chuckles. "Motherfucker, I've known you for twelve fucking years. You think I didn't see the way you looked at her at Tahani's graduation? You think I haven't noticed that you do as much for her as you do for your kid? You haven't dated since Tahani started college. I'm old, not fucking blind."

He's not that goddamn old. He's forty-five.

"It's complicated."

Finn snorts. "The shit worth it is always complicated, Roman. That's when you know it's worth it. The fact that you've been hung up on her for four years means something. And I'm guessing the fact that you're asking me questions about my wife now means that you finally decided to do something about it."

I jerk my chin in a nod. "She was in Santa Cruz with me." I exhale a breath. "She's moving to LA. Three days. I have three days to make sure she's safe."

"Shit." He hauls himself to his feet. "Then why the fuck are we sitting around here? Let's fucking go."

By the time I finally make it to the condo, I'm fucking exhausted. Finn and I spent hours hitting up every fucking source I have, looking for info on Guerrero and what he's doing.

No one knows shit. At least, no one willing to talk. The motherfucker has his people on a tight leash. Anyone else who might have had info about his plans were the first people he took out.

It worries the fuck out of me. Whatever he's doing isn't good. And it's going to take a helluva lot longer than three days to unravel the threads.

"I'll work on the judge," Finn sighs, running a bleary hand over his face. "We may not have a choice except to raid every goddamn one of their properties and hope we find the guns."

"Yeah." I drop my head back against the seat, cursing. It's a risk I don't want to take. If we hit the wrong property, we'll lose our only chance. But if it comes right down to it, we might not have a choice. As much as I want to rush this shit, we can't.

"Get some sleep," he says. "I'll swing by in the morning to pick your ass up. We'll start again then."

"See you." I climb from his truck, jogging up the sidewalk toward my townhouse. The two-story redbrick townhouse stands tall and imposing, with large windows and a mahogany door.

I've lived here for years, but this place still doesn't feel like home. Perhaps it"s because I've never bothered making it one.

As soon as I'm over the threshold, I lock the door, set the alarm, and head for the bedroom, already dialing Mila's number.

"Hey, handsome." Her sweet, sleepy voice has tense knots relaxing all over my body. My dick turns to steel. Christ, I miss her like crazy. "I thought you forgot about me."

"Never," I growl, ripping my shirt off over my head as I jog up the steps to the bedroom. "I've been out with Finn, handling some work shit."

"Oh." She yawns.

"Are you in bed?"

"Yes."

"Are you naked?"

"Maybe." The smile in her voice sets my veins on fire.

"Good." I yank the zipper of my jeans down, wrapping one fist around my cock while I hit the button to switch from a voice call to a video call.

Her beautiful face fills the screen, illuminated by the bedside lamp in the bedroom at the condo. As promised, she's naked, her blonde hair a halo around her.

"Prop your phone up, get on your knees, and ride your fingers until you're screaming my name, Mila."

"Roman," she moans, her back arching off the bed.

"Now, baby. Don't make me tell you again." I squeeze my cock, working my fist up and down my shaft—torturing myself. I know damn well I won't be coming tonight. Until I'm inside her, I'm not getting off again. But she will be.

Her eyes glimmer with a dangerous mix of anticipation and obedience as she complies, scrambling onto her knees. She props her phone up on the bedside table, angling it so I can see every inch of her gorgeous body. Her lush breasts bounce with her movements, sending jolts of need straight to my cock.

With an enticing smirk on those full lips, she lifts one hand to cup her breast, her thumb teasing her hard nipple. Her other hand trails down her stomach, dipping below the camera frame.

She"s a fucking tease. She knows it, and she"s using it against me.

"Adjust the camera and ride your fucking fingers, Mila," I growl, my gaze locked onto the screen, where I can see her hands moving rhythmically in and out of view. "Now."

She giggles, letting me know she knew exactly what she was doing when she positioned the camera, and then she leans forward, adjusting it. Her perfect cunt comes into view, the fingers of her other hand already hard at work.

Her giggle fades to a moan as she slips two fingers inside her tight little hole. My cock throbs in my hand. The sight is too much. I push down my jeans down to give myself more room.

"One more," I demand, my voice harsher than before—needier. "Slip one more finger into that tight little body. I know you can take it."

Her brows furrow in hesitation before she bites hard on her lower lip and obeys.

She gasps at the stretch, her head falling back as she begins to move faster. A wave of satisfaction washes over me at the sight of her pleasuring herself for me—following every command. I might not be there with her tonight, but I'm damn well certain she knows who's making her feel this way.

Each whimper from her lips pushes me further into a state of agony and ecstasy. I stroke myself in time with the rhythm of her fingers, watching her writhe and moan. But this isn"t enough—I need more. I want more.

"Say my name," I command, my grip tightening around myself as I watch the woman I"ve loved for years push herself closer to the edge. "Let me hear you, Mila."

Her eyes flutter open at my command, glazed over with pleasure and a hint of something wild. She"s teetering on the edge, so close to falling.

"Roman." My name falls from her lips like a prayer, making my cock twitch with anticipation.

"Louder," I growl, unable to help myself. I want to hear it, loud and clear—the declaration of what she wants—who she needs.

"Roman," she cries out this time, louder, bolder, driving me insane. She writhes restlessly as she continues to plunge her fingers into her tight pussy. "Oh God, Roman." Her green eyes are wide and pleading as she pants. "I need you inside me so bad!"

My heart stutters at her admission, a surge of possessiveness engulfing me. I can"t fucking stand not being there with her. Not when she"s begging for me like this.

"Christ!" I hiss through clenched teeth. "I wish I was there, Mila. You'd be coming all over my cock right now if I were." My hand flies up and down my cock as I imagine being buried deep inside her instead of watching from afar.

"I can"t…I"m so close. Roman," she sobs, her body arching off the bed. The sight is breathtaking—her flushed skin in stark contrast to the red sheets twisted beneath her writhing body.

"Then come for me. Come all over that pretty little hand for me, Mila," I croon.

"No, not without you."

This beautiful, infuriating, sexy little goddess knows exactly how to push my buttons and take me right to the edge of restraint. If I say no, she says yes. Every fucking time. She does it intentionally, purposefully, as if fighting me is ingrained in her. As if she knows just how fucking wild it makes me.

"Fucking come now, Mila, or I swear to God, when I see you again, you won't be able to walk when I get through with you," I growl, squeezing the head of my cock in a desperate attempt to keep myself from coming all over my goddamn hand.

She whips her head forward, her eyes meeting mine, hot, wild, full of raw feminine sexuality. She grinds down on her fingers, holding my gaze as if daring me to look away from her. "Mister Gregory," she moans. "Please, fuck me."

Oh, the dirty little minx.

I come with a guttural groan, cum spilling over my hand as I ride through the aftershocks of an orgasm that leaves me breathless. I keep my eyes locked with hers the whole time, letting her see exactly what she does to me—exactly how she owns me, body and soul.

With a final, desperate cry, she bites down on her lip hard enough to draw blood as she falls over the edge, convulsing in pleasure. And fuck, watching her lose herself like this is goddamn beautiful.

She collapses forward on the bed, whimpering my name. The sting of loneliness hits like a fucking wrecking ball—the desire to pull her into my arms and hold her as she comes down is overwhelming. But she's hours away, tucked up in our bed in Santa Cruz.

And goddammit all, that's exactly where I should want her to stay. It's exactly where she's safest. But I want her right here with me so much it fucking hurts.

I have to find a way to keep her safe here in LA. There is no other choice because she's become necessary, something I can't live without.