Chapter Three

Josie

“Nurse Emerson?”

“Yes?” I turn around at the sound of my name and come face-to-face with Agatha Meadows. She’s the senior RN on duty today and is in charge of the ward. At around forty, she’s older than most of us, but everyone I know here gets along with her. She’s the same height as me, with dark brown hair, which she wears in a short style, curled around her face, and she has a slim figure, which – like mine – is hidden by scrubs, although hers are deep blue, rather than purple.

“How’s Mr. Stanford?”

I shake my head. “There’s still no progress,” I say as we stroll over to the nurse’s station. “It doesn’t make sense. His concussion wasn’t that bad, but his visual processing skills are still very basic. He needs prompting to interpret even the simplest of objects.”

She nods her head. “I think I’ll call Doctor Sweeney. He’s on the late shift today. He can come take a look.” She checks her watch. “You worked through lunch today, didn’t you?”

“I did. I wanted to do some more work with Kayla McQueen.”

Kayla was the victim of a hit-and-run accident nearly three months ago. She’s only twelve and as the result of the brain injury she suffered, she’s been unable to speak ever since. Along with some of the other nurses, I’ve been working on her speech, and we had a breakthrough today, with her managing to say the word ‘cat’ several times over. The first time, I wondered if it was a fluke, but after the third, and judging by the smile on her face, I knew it was for real.

“I heard she’d done well today.”

“Yeah… she did. Really well.”

She smiles. “I just wanted to say, as you didn’t get to take your break, you can go home early, if you want.”

It’s not an offer she needs to make twice.

I might love my job, but I’m exhausted, and not about to look the gift horse of an early finish to my day in the mouth.

“Are you sure?” I ask.

“Of course.”

I thank her and, before she changes her mind, I head for the nurse’s lounge.

This has to be the most depressing room on our floor. The patients’ rooms and the hallways are brightly colored, to stimulate the senses and help recovery. In here, it’s like someone lost the will to live – or at least to be cheerful – and they covered the walls with the drabbest of grays. The furniture isn’t much better, being dark blue, and very uncomfortable, but I flop onto the couch and take a minute to myself before heading home.

I’ve been on my feet all day… although I’m not complaining. It’s part of the job, and you don’t go into nursing expecting to sit back and take things easy. I discovered that when I worked in the ER, and it’s just the same up here, in the physical medicine and rehabilitation service. Our job is to help patients who’ve suffered neurotrauma to recover as many of their abilities as they can. I always think of it as physical therapy for the brain, and I’m part of the team here that works with various patients, helping them to pick up the pieces of their lives… to learn to talk, to eat, to walk again.

No two days are ever the same. No two injuries are ever the same. And that’s why I love it.

I suppose it helps that I wanted to be a nurse ever since I was a teenager, when I spent so long in the hospital myself. It was like it was meant to be, and after I switched from the ER to neurotrauma, roughly a year ago, I knew I’d found my calling. Naturally, it can be tough. It’s always hard work, but it’s worth it. I get to make a real difference in people’s lives, and that’s what makes it special.

I get up again, realizing I’m wasting time sitting here daydreaming, when I could be at home, and I go over to my locker, retrieving my purse and my jacket. I came in wearing my scrubs today, so I don’t need to change, and as I close my locker, I delve into my purse for my phone.

I haven’t even looked at it today, but I check it now, letting out a gasp when I see I’ve got a message, and that it’s from Drew.

“My God…” I’ve hardly had time to think about him all day, but it was only this morning I decided to put him behind me… to leave him in the past, no matter how much it hurt. Why is he contacting me now, of all times?

I guess there’s only one way to find out, and I click on the message app and stare at the screen. It’s not a normal text, but a voice message, and I sit on the couch again, putting my jacket beside me, grateful that I’m alone in here as I turn up the volume and press the ‘play’ button.

“Hi, Josie. It’s me, Drew.” His voice fills the room and my heart, warming me from within, although I can hear lots of background noise, too… people talking and a baby crying. “It’s been a long time, and I know I should’ve been in touch before now, but… the… the thing is, I—I wanted to ask if we could meet up?” Can he really mean that? He sounds nervous, but that’s understandable. I’m shaking, barely able to hold my phone, and all I’m doing is listening, not talking. “I’m at the airport… I’m flying back from Rome today, and going down to Newport with Maisie and… and her mom, but I wondered… can I call you? We need to talk, or I think we do. Obviously, if I’ve mis-read everything, you’ll be wondering what on earth I’m talking about, in which case I apologize for disturbing you, and it’s probably best if you stop listening now…” There’s a slight pause, but I wait. I need to know what he’s going to say next. “If you’re still listening, I guess I didn’t mis-read things, so the next question is, do you want to see me again? If you’ve moved on, or you’re with someone else now, or you just don’t want to have anything more to do with me, after everything that’s happened, that’s fine… well, it isn’t, but I’ll understand. This is complicated, and it’s a lot harder for you than it is for me. I get that, and I’m sorry. Truly, I am. I should have said that a long time ago, but I’m really sorry, Josie.” I can hear the emotion in his voice… the slight crack, and the cough he uses to cover it. “The timing was dreadful, and if it’s all too much for you, then just ignore me. I’ll get the message and I won’t hassle you.” There’s a moment of silence and I use it to contemplate ignoring him. After a message like this, though, how could I? “If you think you’d like to meet up, call me. I’ll fit in with whatever you need… whatever you want. I just wanna see you again, Josie.” My heart is so light, I feel like it could float up to the clouds and carry me with it. “Call me… please,” I hear him say, and all the background noise stops. He’s finished speaking and I look down at my screen, seeing I have the option to keep the recording. I press it quickly, terrified I’ll lose those precious words.

I also notice the time of the message, which is just after three this morning. He said he was at the airport in Rome, so it would have been around nine for him, although I wonder why he didn’t wait until he got back. He must have been just about to board his flight, after all.

I guess he didn’t feel like waiting.

But can this mean what I think it means?

He wants to see me again, that much is obvious. What’s not so clear is, does he want more than coffee and conversation? I can’t be sure, although he sounded really nervous, which doesn’t make much sense if friendship was all he was interested in. Does someone who wants to be your friend get so anxious about it? I don’t think so.

He also seemed worried that I might be with someone else, too.

As if that was ever going to happen.

So, can it be?

Can it be he wants me, like I want him?

I guess there’s only one way to find out.

I check the time. It’s four-forty-five.

Lexi said his flight was landing at three, so they’ll be in the car by now, driving down to Newport together. It probably wouldn’t be wise to call. Not when they’re sitting side by side. Has he decided to throw caution to the winds and start something with me, despite his relationship with my sister… if it can be called that? I don’t know. But at least he acknowledged how much harder this is for me than it is for him. Because even if he doesn’t have a relationship with Lexi, I do.

So, no matter how much I want to run into his arms and say ‘yes’ to absolutely anything he asks of me, it’s not that simple.

I have so many questions, and I know I won’t be able to function properly until I get answers. Even so, I can’t call him now. I can’t speak to him, knowing my sister is sitting just inches away from him. Whatever I need to know, I’m going to have to wait.

I get up, pocketing my phone, and pick up my jacket, making for the door.

The elevator doors open immediately, and I step inside, my head spinning, even though I’m trying very hard not to think about Drew’s message. How can I when I don’t fully understand it… and given that, I think it’s best to wait and speak to Drew, rather than punishing myself any more than I already have.

The quickest way to my car is through the Emergency Room and once the elevator doors open, I head straight there, going down the corridor and through the double doors.

I’m immediately hit by the noise, which is standard in this department, although it seems worse than usual today. There’s a baby crying, and I’m reminded of Drew’s call, and all those sounds in the background at the airport.

“Hey, Josie…” I nod at Doctor Walters, who I used to work with, and he smiles back as I make my way toward the nurse’s station, the sounds of the baby’s crying getting louder by the second.

Behind the desk, I spot one of my friends, Orla. She’s a few years older than me, and she’s holding the screaming infant against her chest, looking frazzled.

“What’s going on?” I wander over, making myself heard above the din.

She shakes her auburn head, glancing down at the baby in her arms, in a signal I know only too well, and my heart sinks for the poor little thing. “There’s been an RTA.”

“The mom?”

“She died at the scene. The man with them hasn’t regained consciousness. They’re about to send him for a CT, but it’s not looking good at the moment.”

“And in the meantime, you’ve been left holding the baby?”

“Yeah… literally.” She bounces the infant a little, bobbing up and down, but that just seems to make matters worse, and she rolls her eyes. “I’ve never been any good with babies.”

“I’d offer to help, but…”

“Yeah, I know… you’ve got better things to do.” She smiles and looks down at the baby. “Shall we try turning you around? You’re probably bored with staring over my shoulder at the wall.”

She maneuvers the baby, turning her, and I notice the dolphin on her t-shirt, my heart stopping in my chest, my legs weakening beneath me.

“No.” I hear myself say the word, even though I’m unaware of being able to speak.

“Are you okay?” Orla looks at me, concern etched on her face.

“It can’t be.” I walk around the desk, almost falling over the car seat on the floor, getting closer to Orla as she turns, facing me.

“Josie?”

I look down at the baby in her arms, and I know it’s true. I can see it in her bright blue eyes, and that curl at the ends of her hair. “Oh, God… Maisie.”

I drop my jacket, taking Maisie in my arms, even though she’s a blur, my eyes filled with tears.

“You know her?”

“Yes. Sh—She’s my niece.”

Maisie stops crying, staring up at me, and pulling that same face she did last night, when she furrowed her brow.

“She certainly seems to know who you are.”

“Her mom is my… was my sister.”

Orla picks up my jacket, putting it over the back of the chair and then turns it around, so I can sit.

“No, I’m fine, thanks.”

She nods her head. “I’m really sorry, Josie. I had no idea.”

“Why would you? Lexi and I don’t have the same last name. We were step-sisters.”

“I see. And the guy who was in the car with them?”

“Is his name Drew Bennett?” I hold my breath, although I already know the answer, and as she nods her head, a tear hits my cheek. “H—He’s Maisie’s father,” I whisper.

She looks over my shoulder. “Here’s Doctor Walters. He’s in charge of the case.”

I grab her arm. “Please don’t say anything about my connection with the family.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. I want to help… to do what I can for Maisie and Drew, but if the doctors find out who I am, they’ll make me back off.”

She knows I’m right, and nods her head just as Doctor Walters comes over, studying the chart in his hands. He looks across at me. “I don’t know what your secret is, but if you can keep that baby from crying, you can stay as long as you like.”

I smile up at him, although God knows how. “I’ll do my best,” I say, glancing down at the chart. “What’s going on?”

He shakes his head, frowning. “It’s too soon to say. We need the results of the CT before I can be sure about anything, but Mr. Bennett hasn’t regained consciousness at all.”

“Have the families been notified?” I ask, turning to Orla.

She nods her head. “They both had emergency contacts on their phones. Lexi… I mean, Miss Doyle’s was a guy called Manuel Ortega. He’s working in Arizona at the moment, but he’s catching the next flight back.”

“And Mr. Bennett?”

“His contact was his brother, Hunter. He works locally and said he and his wife would come straight here.”

I swallow down the lump in my throat, wondering what I’m going to do. Drew’s brother is bound to want to take Maisie, and I’ll have no reason to stay after that… not officially. Of course, I could reveal my true identity, but if I do, they won’t let me be involved. My connection is with Lexi, not Drew, and I doubt they’ll even keep me informed of what’s happening with him.

I hug Maisie closer to me, her tender body tight against mine, as Doctor Walters bends his head, talking in whispers to Orla, before she nods her head and walks away.

“Excuse me?” I look up, catching my breath, when I see a tall man on the other side of the desk. He’s the image of Drew, and I know this is Hunter Bennett, even before he says his name and asks for his brother. He’s accompanied by a beautiful blonde woman, who I’m guessing is the wife Orla spoke of. She’s wearing a tight navy blue skirt and white blouse with a jacket folded over her arm, and he’s got on jeans and a white button-down shirt, their faces lined with worry as they turn to Doctor Walters.

“Would you like to come to the relatives’ room? We can talk in there.”

Hunter nods his head, putting his arm around his wife, and they step away. They’ve only gone a few paces when he stops and turns back, looking directly at me.

“I’m sorry. That’s Maisie, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

He nods. “I know it’s an imposition, but do you think you could look after her for a little longer? I—I wanna be able to focus on my brother for a while. Is that…?”

He can’t finish his sentence, his voice cracking with emotion and I smile over at him, nodding my head.

“It’s fine. Maisie will be perfectly safe with me.”

“Thank you.”

He turns, going with Doctor Walters, and I look down at Maisie.

“It’ll be okay,” I whisper. “I’ll make sure of it. Daddy will be okay.”

He has to be. I need to tell him I got the message.

***

Drew

There’s a humming sound in the background, like blurred, hushed voices. I don’t know who’s talking, but I wish they’d speak up, so I could hear them properly… and that the damned beeping would stop, too. It’s persistent, regular, and really annoying.

Is this a dream? It has to be, because my eyes are closed, so I must be asleep. If that’s the case, it’s the strangest of dreams. There’s nothing tangible about it. I’m sure my dreams are usually more coherent than this, although I can’t remember any of them at the moment, which is odd, because I’m sure I must have had some amazing dreams in my time. In this instance, though, I can’t work it out at all.

It’s just a haze…

A loud crash startles me, and I hear someone calling out for quiet. That was clear enough, and they’re quite right. A little quiet would be good.

I feel my hand being lifted… held. That’s real. It’s not part of a dream, and I do my best to focus on whoever’s holding it. They’ve got a soft touch and tiny hands. It’s a woman, and although I don’t know who she is, I feel relaxed and let my hand rest in hers, flexing my fingers.

“Hunter?” That’s a female voice coming from right beside me. The woman, perhaps?

“Yeah? What is it, baby?” Hmm… a man’s voice. Not one I’m familiar with, any more than I am with his name, but he sounds friendly enough. The ‘baby’ tells me he’s with the woman, which seems a shame. I like her hands… and her voice.

“He moved his fingers.”

I try to pull my hand away, but can’t. She’s holding on to me, and I suddenly feel less comfortable. Let me go!

“I’ll get a doctor.” That’s the man again. A doctor? Is this a hospital? I guess that would make sense of the hushed voices and beeping sounds.

“Don’t get your hopes up. Sometimes it’s just a reflex.”

Whoa… that’s a different woman. Her voice does something strange to my body, like bubbles bursting over the surface of my skin. I don’t know who she is, but there’s something about her…

I can hear movement, although I can’t make out what it is, and I wish the woman would speak again. I liked the way she made me feel. Her voice had an aura of comfort to it.

The first woman finally lets go of me. There’s a rustling sound, and then my hand is picked up again… only this time I can feel I’m being held by a man. I tense against him, unsure what’s going on.

“I think you’re right,” he says. “There is some movement there, and some resistance.” Yeah… to you holding my hand.

This is yet another voice. It’s not the same man as earlier. Hunter, was it? This man’s voice isn’t so deep, so I guess maybe this is the doctor.

“Do you think he’s coming round?” That’s the first woman again.

“It looks like it. Mr. Bennett? Drew?” Who’s he talking to? Is there another man in here? He squeezes my hand. “Can you hear me, Drew?”

He’s talking to me? Why’s he calling me Drew? My name’s… my name’s… Oh, God… what is my name?

What’s going on? Panic wells inside me, bubbling beneath the surface and threatening to boil over.

“I think it might take a little longer,” the doctor says, releasing my hand again.

No, it won’t. It can’t. I need to know what’s going on here. I take a breath and attempt to open my eyes. These people obviously know who I am. They know my name and seem familiar with me. I’m sure if I can just see their faces, it’ll all come back.

I crank my eyes open, blinking against the bright lights, before I slam them shut again. Maybe that wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

“Did you see that?” the first woman says. She sounds excited.

“See what?” That’s not the doctor. It’s the other man, although I’ve forgotten his name already.

“He opened his eyes.”

“He did?” That was the doctor, and I feel him take my hand in his once more.

I wish you’d stop doing that.

“Drew? Open your eyes.”

I’m trying, dammit. And stop calling me Drew.

I ratchet my eyes open again, with a little more success this time. The lights are still bright, but not so blinding as they were before, and although my head is pounding now, I need to find out what’s going on, so I ignore the pain.

I’m lying on a bed, a light above my head, and beside me is a man wearing a pale blue top with a v-neck. He’s got a stethoscope around his neck, and as I focus on his face, I take in the graying hair at his temples and his steel-rimmed glasses. He must be the doctor, and he smiles down at me, nodding his head.

“You’ve rejoined us at last, have you?” That wasn’t at all patronizing, but I can’t be bothered to comment… not that he gives me the chance. “You’ve been unconscious for nearly six hours,” he says. “You had us worried.” I still don’t know who ‘us’ is. I don’t even seem to know who I am at the moment, but he’s smiling, so I guess he’s not as worried as he was, which is something.

I need to see the other people in the room, to find out how they know me, and if I know them. I slowly turn my head, taking my time, the pain behind my eyes distracting me, until they alight on a beautiful blonde woman. Things are definitely looking up… except she’s standing in front of a very tall, dark-haired man, and he’s got his arms around her, her back to his front.

Well… that’s a shame. They’re both smiling at me, which is unnerving, as I’ve never seen them before in my life. There must have been some kind of mistake here.

I open my mouth to speak, to ask what’s going on, just as a movement catches my eye and I turn my head again, just a little more, my breath catching in my throat when I see the woman standing in the corner of the room. She’s got dark blonde hair, tied up behind her head, and is wearing the same kind of top as the doctor – except hers is purple – and for some reason, she’s holding a young baby in her arms. Her eyes are fixed on mine, and although I’ve never seen her before and have no idea who she is, I wish I did, because she’s the most perfect creature I’ve ever seen in my life. Sure, the other woman is beautiful, but whoever this woman is, she’s… she’s something else.

Why she’s here with a baby is anybody’s guess. I wonder for a moment if it belongs to the couple who are standing, staring at me still, and whether she’s looking after it for them, so they can concentrate on me, for some reason I haven’t yet worked out. Either way, I hope she doesn’t have to leave. I could happily spend the rest of my life just looking at her.

The doctor coughs and I drag my eyes back to him. He’s still smiling, which ought to feel reassuring… and it would, if I knew what was going on.

“Now, Mr. Bennett… or would you rather I called you Drew?” he asks.

“I don’t know. Is that my name?” My throat is dry, so my voice sounds strange… at least it does to me.

The doctor’s smile becomes a frown, and he turns to the tall man, who moves away from the blonde woman, letting her go and stepping closer to the bed.

“Don’t you know who you are?” he says.

“I’m evidently Mr. Bennett, but the name means nothing. Who are you?”

The man steps back, clearly shocked by my question. He opens his mouth to answer, but the doctor holds up his hand. “I think we need to talk outside.” He turns to the woman in the corner… the one whose face I know I’ll never forget, even if I remember nothing else. She’s paled a little and is still staring at me. “I also think we need to call in someone from the Neurotrauma team, don’t you?”

She nods her head. “Yes,” she says. “Yes, I do.” Her voice is like a comfort blanket against my skin, and I want to ask her to lay it over me in gentle caresses, like soft whispers of calm in this startling new wilderness.

Everyone moves, including her, heading for the door.

“Just get some rest,” the doctor says. “And don’t worry about anything.”

How can I not worry? I have no idea what’s going on. I don’t know who I am, or why I’m here… or who these people are. My head hurts, too, and as everyone leaves, I wonder why I can’t remember who I am?

What happened to make me forget myself?