Chapter Thirteen

Josie

Orla is standing at the nurse’s station in the ER, staring at the computer screen, her brow furrowed, and I wonder if I can sneak past her. It seems mean when we’ve always been friends, but I’m not in the mood for conversation. Not today.

Unfortunately, she looks up at just the wrong moment, her face lighting up into a smile.

“Hello, stranger,” she says. “We were wondering if we were ever gonna see you again.” I smile, but don’t answer. I’m not sure I know how. She clicks on the mouse a couple of times and then leans over the desk. “So, is this a flying visit, or are you back for good?”

“It’s a flying visit.” I’m definitely not staying. “I just need to see Doctor Sweeney.”

“Ahh… and how is the patient?”

“He’s okay.”

That’s a lie, but lying seems to be my forte… at least according to Drew.

“So, I guess you’ll be coming back soon, will you?”

“I—I don’t know.”

I do. I know exactly what I’m doing, and it doesn’t involve coming back here.

“It might be worth discussing your return with Doctor Sweeney, even if it isn’t imminent.”

“Why?” I’m intrigued. Her suggestion may be irrelevant, but I’d like to know what it means.

“Because they took on a temporary replacement to cover for you. Agatha Meadows insisted, evidently. She said it wasn’t fair to expect everyone else to work extra hours to cover for you, and in the end, Doctor Sweeney agreed.”

In a way, that makes things a little easier for me, and I nod my head. “Well… we’ll see what happens.” I make a show of checking my watch, even though I don’t need to. It’s not like I have an appointment or anything. “I’d better get upstairs.”

She leans back, standing up straight. “I’d better check on the guy with chest pains in curtain four.”

She comes around the desk. “Is it serious?” I ask.

“No. His ECG is fine, but we’re monitoring him, anyway. I’d stake my life it’s indigestion.”

I smile and she smiles back, and I head for the elevators, pressing the ‘up’ button. The doors open immediately and I step inside, where I’m joined by a white-coated doctor, who’s studying a file and absentmindedly presses the button for the third floor.

“What did you need?” he asks.

“I’m going to the third, too.”

He nods, his eyes wandering downward slightly, appraising me for a moment or two before they return to the file he’s still holding. I’m dismissed, but I don’t mind in the slightest. It suits my mood.

When the doors open again, he moves aside, letting me step out ahead of him, and as I turn to the left, he goes to the right, and I make my way down the hall, grateful that Doctor Sweeney’s office is outside of the main Neurotrauma unit. I can avoid meeting any of my colleagues and hopefully get this over with as quickly as possible.

The doctor’s name is printed on a small sign stuck to the outside of the pale blue door, and I knock once, waiting until I hear him call out, “Enter.”

I push the door open and step inside, closing it behind me. I can’t fail to be reminded of the last time I was in here, when Doctor Sweeney told me of his and Hunter’s plans, that Drew should return home to Newport to complete his therapy, and that I should join him. Of course, the doctor’s intention was that I should remain Drew’s nurse, and manage his recovery… not that I should become his lover, and make a mess of everything, including both of our lives.

He’s sitting behind his desk, just like he did on that fateful day. Only now, he’s studying a file and looks up as I approach him.

“Nurse Emerson?” He frowns at me, putting down the pen he’s holding as he sits back in his chair. He’s not wearing his white coat today, but is just in dark gray pants and a button-down shirt, undone at the neck. “What are you doing here?”

“I—I need to see you.”

“Oh?” He waves his hand at the seat in front of his desk and I perch on the edge, feeling uncomfortable… and nervous. “Can I assume your presence here means there’s been a change in Mr. Bennett’s condition, and that for some reason, known only to yourself, you came all this way to tell me about it, rather than calling?”

He shakes his head, his frown deepening. “That’s not why I’m here,” I say. “But since you asked, there has been a development with Drew… with Mr. Bennett, I mean.”

“In what way?”

“He worked out that Maisie is his.”

“Maisie?” He looks perplexed.

“His daughter… the baby.” How can he have forgotten?

“Oh, yes.” His face clears. “He remembered her, did he?”

“No. He just worked out that she’s his. He still has no memory of her, or of her mother.”

“The woman who died?”

“Yes.”

He sits forward again, resting his elbows on the table. “This is unfortunate. We’re going to have to handle the next stage carefully.”

“I’m afraid it’s a little late for that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Unfortunately, things came to a head, and Mr. Bennett’s brother and I were forced to tell him everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yes. It wasn’t optional. If there had been any other alternative, I’d have taken it, trust me.”

He stares at me for a long moment, then takes a breath, shaking his head. “Has Mr. Bennett had any memories of his own yet?”

“No, nothing of any significance.”

“I see.” He thinks for a moment. “This changes everything. Having his past revealed to him like that could bring about a rapid return of his memories. It… it could prove very traumatic for him.” I feel even worse now, given my real reason for being here. “Do you think he’d consider coming back into the hospital?”

“No. But…”

“In that case, we’ll have to reassess the situation.”

“Please, Doctor… I didn’t come here to tell you about Mr. Bennett’s condition, or to discuss how his treatment might change.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. I came to tell you I can’t stay there anymore.”

He frowns, blinking a couple of times, and then gets up, coming around his desk and leaning against it, right in front of me. “Why on earth not?”

“My reasons are personal.”

“So you want to come back here? You expect me to just…”

“I don’t expect you to do anything. I’m leaving the hospital.”

He stands up again, staring down at me, his mouth slightly open. “Y—You’re what?”

“I’m leaving. I’ve got some vacation time owing, and I’d like to take it now, rather than giving notice.”

“You mean, you’re resigning?”

“Yes.” How many ways does he need me to say it?

“This is all very irregular, Nurse.”

“I know, but I’ve been told you’ve hired a replacement for me, so I’m hardly causing you a problem, am I?”

“And what about Mr. Bennett?” he says. “What about your duty to him?”

I feel the prickling of tears behind my eyes and blink them away, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “I—I guess Hunter Bennett will be in touch with you. Or maybe he’ll hire a private nurse from somewhere else. I don’t know.”

“Hmm… and you obviously don’t think it’s your problem.” He shakes his head, disapproval pouring off of him. “I have to say, I’m disappointed in you, Nurse Emerson.” He walks back around his desk, sitting down and facing me again. “I’ve always thought you were one of our more caring and professional nurses. I’d expected better from you. But if this is your attitude to your patients, I think both we and they will be better off without you.”

That stings, more than he’ll ever know, but I just nod my head and get to my feet. “Can I take it I’m free to go?”

“You can. I’ll contact Hunter Bennett myself and suggest a couple of private nursing agencies he could get in touch with. At least that way, one of us will be looking after the patient’s interests.”

I suppose I ought to thank him, but I can’t speak, and instead I just leave his office, closing the door softly behind me. I’m so ashamed, so overwhelmed with crippling guilt, it’s hard to put one foot in front of the other, but I have things to do… and I need to get on.

I wander down the hall, barely aware of my surroundings, knowing only that I need to clear my locker before I can go home. I called in at my apartment before coming here, just to drop off my bag and check my mail… and to cry for a little while, by myself, but I couldn’t afford to delay, any more than I can now.

I’ve already decided I’m leaving town… and I’m going to do it today. Selling my apartment can wait a while. At least until I’ve settled somewhere new. I don’t know where I’m going yet, but I’ve got some savings, so I can afford to rent a small apartment, and nursing jobs are fairly easy to come by, so I have no doubt I’ll find something… somewhere.

My sight is blurred, but I know my way to the nurse’s lounge and let myself in, grateful that I haven’t met anyone I know, and that there’s no-one in here, either. The gray walls match my mood, but I don’t have time to dwell. I brought a couple of bags with me from my apartment and I pull them from my purse, going over to my locker and opening it as I let out a sigh. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t stored quite so many things here now, but there’s no point in wishing, is there? Let’s face it, if there was any point in wishing, Drew would still love me, and I wouldn’t be here at all.

No. Wishing doesn’t get you anywhere. It just makes life hurt more.

I square my shoulders, trying to pretend the pain in my chest isn’t threatening to bring me to my knees, and I stare at the contents of my locker.

I occasionally take a shower here, so the top shelf is loaded with shampoo, a couple of deodorants, and body wash. There’s a tub of hand cream at the back, and a toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. I dump them all into one of the bags, along with the hairbrush and pack of spare hair ties. My hand is shaking, partly because I’m rushing, but mostly because Doctor Sweeney’s words are ringing around my head, torturing me. Everything he said was completely deserved, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear… or to keep hearing, on repeat, over and over… and over.

The door opens, slamming against the wall behind it, making me jump and I turn, letting out a yelp of surprise when Drew strides into the room, a little out of breath, followed closely by Hunter.

“There you are. Thank God…” Drew comes closer, shaking his head, his eyes locked on mine. “We tried your apartment, and you weren’t there, but other than here, we couldn’t think where else to go.”

“Wh—What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you, of course,” he says, staring down at the bag in my hand. He frowns, his eyes darting up to mine again. “What’s going on?”

“I’m packing my things.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve quit my job, and I’m leaving town.” I turn around, grabbing my small notebook from the top shelf of my locker. “If I hurry, I can leave tonight.”

“And go where?”

I turn around again to find that, although Hunter is still standing just inside the door, Drew has moved much closer, his body just a few inches from mine, the heat and confusion pouring off of him.

“A—Anywhere.”

“You’re so desperate to get away from me, you’ll go anywhere?” he says and I look up into his eyes, struggling to breathe as he reaches out and takes the notebook from my left hand and the bag from my right, and drops them to the floor. Then he steps even closer, so we’re almost touching, and I gaze up at his troubled face. “I’ve never been to anywhere, Josie. The way my brain is right now, I wouldn’t remember, even if I had. But if you go there – wherever it is – I’ll follow you. I’ll find you, and I’ll bring you home.”

My mouth drops open, a slight choke escaping my lips. “Y—You… you…”

He raises his right hand, cupping my cheek and closing the final gap between us, so his body is pressed against mine. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much I love you when you asked. I should’ve done. That was a mistake.”

“You mean you still love me?”

“I never stopped. Not even for a second.” I find that hard to believe. I saw the look in his eyes earlier. There wasn’t much love there. I open my mouth to say so, but he moves his thumb, clamping it across my lips. “That wasn’t the only thing I wanted to say ‘sorry’ for.”

I open my mouth and he moves his thumb, letting me speak. “Why? What else do you think you need to apologize for?”

“It’s not an apology, as such, but I wanted to say sorry about Lexi.”

Now I’m really confused, partly about what he’s saying, but also because he’s brushing his thumb back and forth across my lower lip, and it’s very distracting. “I—In what way?”

“In the normal way that people say ‘sorry’ when someone dies. I know you keep saying you weren’t close, but I think you wanted to be. Maybe I’m reading too much into things, I don’t know… but when all’s said and done, you and she were family. She died in that car accident, and I can’t imagine what you went through when you found that out. You learned that your sister was dead, that Maisie had lost her mom, and that I was unconscious… all in the blink of an eye. It must have been horrendous.”

“Yes. It was.”

“And yet you put your own feelings to one side so you could look after my daughter… and me. I know you think you were being selfish, but I think the opposite is much closer to the truth. You couldn’t mourn. You couldn’t even mention your own grief. It was all about me and Maisie. I haven’t acknowledged that yet, and I should have done. I’m sorry, Josie, for what happened to your sister… that you won’t get to find out if you could’ve been friends.”

Tears well in my eyes, blinding me for a moment. “Thank you.” I suck in a breath, waiting for my blurred vision to clear, for his perfect face to come back into focus. “I don’t understand, Drew.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“Why you’re here? You’re supposed to be angry with me, and you have every right to be.”

“I know. And I am angry with you, but that doesn’t mean you have to run away from me. You said you wouldn’t do it again, after the last time. You agreed you’d stay and talk.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk.”

“I said I needed some time alone. I know I didn’t handle things very well, but the last thing I needed was for you to run out on me again. We’re in a relationship, Josie… or I thought we were, and while I may not be very familiar with relationships, or how they work, my understanding is that you’re not supposed to run every time the going gets tough… unless, of course, you don’t love me.”

“You know I love you. I—I just didn’t think you loved me anymore.”

“That’s my fault. I should have made that clearer… but don’t you get it?”

“Get what?”

He brings up his other hand, so he’s cupping my face. “I don’t remember my past. To me, it feels like I’ve had two lives; one before the accident and one after… and I’ve loved you in both of them. You, and no-one else. You’re it, Josie. No matter who I am, or what life I live, you’re mine, and I’m yours.” He rests his forehead against mine. “Please, baby… if you’re scared, or worried, or unsure, I’m the one you should turn to, not run from.”

“But you were so mad at me.”

“I know. The thing is, we can’t keep doing this every time something happens.” He’s right. It hurts too much. He tilts his head back, looking into my eyes, narrowing his own. “There’s more to this, isn’t there? There’s a reason you’re so quick to fly… to say it’s too late, even when it isn’t.” He must’ve read my note, then. I regret writing it now. I regret all of it, but most of all, I regret leaving him. “There’s something I’m not seeing… something that’s not necessarily to do with us.” He sighs, frowning. “Is this something to do with your past?” he asks, his hands moving down to the sides of my neck, his thumbs caressing my jawline. “Was it your mom? No… your stepfather. Did he used to get mad at you?”

“Not me, no. But he used to get mad with Mom.”

“And did she run?”

“No. Not until he cheated, and even then, she didn’t really run. She just gave in, admitted defeat.”

“So, what did she do when your stepfather got mad?”

“She stayed and let him yell at her… let him bully her, hurl abuse, and put her down.”

“And you heard his?”

“Heard it and saw it. Regularly. It always made me run… so I could find somewhere to hide. I grew to hate the conflict, the shouting, the tension. I wanted to pretend I wasn’t there.”

He nods his head and closes his eyes, opening them again after just a few seconds to reveal the torture behind them. “I’m sorry, Josie. I shouldn’t have raised my voice to you when we were back at the house. No matter how angry I was, I shouldn’t have done that, and I promise I won’t yell at you anymore. Okay?” I nod again, unable to speak. “Have I… Have I ever put you down?” he says.

I bring my hands up, resting them on his chest. “No, Drew.”

“Do you think I ever would?”

“No. I didn’t mean to imply you were like that. I just…”

He moves his thumb again, brushing it over my lips, cutting me off. “I may not remember it yet, but I walked into a party and fell in love with you, and from what I can gather, I’ve been in love with you ever since. I’ll always love you, Josie, even when I’m mad at you.” He puts his feet either side of mine, molding our bodies, his lips hovering over mine. “Except I don’t think I can stay mad at you for very long… because I need you too damn much.”

He touches his lips to mine, just as the door opens again, and we step apart, turning to see another nurse come in. She’s wearing pink scrubs and I don’t recognize her… not that I know everyone on this floor.

She looks from Drew to Hunter and then at me. “I didn’t think men were allowed in here,” she says, frowning.

“They’re not.” I bite on my bottom lip and Drew gazes down at me, shaking his head, and struggling not to smile. I’m not sure what’s wrong with him, until he glances at my mouth, and I recall what he said about my bottom lip. It brings back memories of our first time together, and suddenly, out of nowhere, a raging inferno builds between us.

“I’m sorry,” Hunter says, addressing the other nurse before he looks back at Drew and me. “Shall we go?”

“Where to?” I ask, feeling uncertain again, those flames not entirely extinguished, but dying down to a slight spark.

“What about Drew’s apartment?” Hunter says, like he’s sensed I’m not ready to be taken back to the cottage yet. “It’s not that far away, and it’s neutral territory for both of you. You can talk… say whatever needs to be said.”

“Neutral?” I can’t see how he can say that. “It’s Drew’s apartment.”

“I know,” Drew replies, stepping in front of me again. “But I don’t remember it, and unless you’re keeping something else from me, you’ve never been there, so…”

He has a point, I guess, and it’s got to be better than standing here. “Okay. Your apartment it is.” He smiles and the other nurse clears her throat, making her presence felt. “I just need to finish packing up my locker.”

Drew looks inside. “Is there anything in there you can’t live without, bearing in mind I’m evidently a multi-millionaire?”

He’s wearing a mischievous grin and I can’t help smiling just slightly as I glance inside the locker myself. “I guess not.”

“In that case, let’s get the hell out of here.”

***

Drew

Josie’s gone tense on me again.

We’ve been in the car for less than five minutes, the two of us sitting in the back, while Hunter drives, and I can feel the anxiety pouring off of her.

I’d thought she was reasonably relaxed by the time we left the nurse’s lounge. She held my hand when I dragged her out into the hall, barely giving her time to grab her purse. She even giggled when I pulled her along to the elevators, and she stared up into my eyes all the while we rode down, even though Hunter was standing right in there with us. But when we got to the car, she came over all nervous, and now she won’t even look at me. She’s staring out the window, her hands in her lap, like I don’t exist.

Is she having second thoughts?

God… I hope not.

I hope I haven’t ruined everything.

I get that I just came on a little strong. It wasn’t my intention to make her leave her things behind, or to use my wealth as a bargaining chip, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I wanted out of there. My sole purpose was to get her somewhere private where we can talk, not to flaunt my millions. I hope I haven’t offended her…

“Are you okay?” I ask.

She turns, startled by the sound of my voice, and nods her head, although I’m not entirely convinced. I give her a smile, which she struggles to return, and I move my hand along the seat, hoping she’ll take it. She doesn’t. She doesn’t even seem to notice, and goes back to staring out the window.

“How much further?” I say to Hunter, and he glances in his rear-view mirror.

He said my apartment wasn’t far, but now I just want to get there. I want to find out what’s wrong, to make sure Josie’s still mine, and she’s not going to leave again.

“Less than five minutes.”

I nod my head, wondering about the place I live and what it will be like, when a thought occurs… “How are we gonna get inside?”

“I’ve got your keys,” Hunter says. “I’ve had them since the accident.”

“Oh. I see.”

It appears he’s taken care of everything, which doesn’t surprise me, and I sit back, looking over at Josie and wishing she’d turn my way.

She doesn’t, but within just a few minutes, Hunter pulls into an underground parking garage. It’s fairly well lit, and he drives around, parking in a bay on the far side before getting out. I join him and run around to Josie’s side to help her. She accepts my hand and, once she’s out of the car, I keep a hold of her. I’m not letting her go again… not now… not ever.

“This way,” Hunter says, locking the car, and he leads us over to the elevators in the corner. There are two, but the one on the right opens first and we all climb in, Hunter pushing the button for the fifth floor.

“You mean I don’t live in the penthouse?” I say, looking at him with a smile.

Hunter laughs. “No. That’s more my style.”

“So, you live in this building, too?”

He shakes his head. “No. I live in a different part of town. You bought this place before we inherited from Dad, and you chose it because it’s close to your studio, which is why you haven’t moved. You could’ve done, if you’d wanted, but you don’t spend that much time here… or you didn’t.”

“I see.”

The elevator doors open and Hunter steps out first. It makes sense, as he’s the only one who knows the way. Josie and I follow, letting him lead us to the right, along a hall to the third door, which is numbered 512.

Pulling a key from his pocket, Hunter lets us inside. It feels warm, the air a little stifling and stale.

I stand, taking in my surroundings, trying to remember… but nothing’s coming to me.

The space is quite impersonal. It’s just a small lobby, with a dark wood floor and a couple of landscape photographs hanging on the white walls. I’m guessing I took them, although I have no recollection of the subject matter. The door to the left appears to lead to a bathroom, and there’s a bedroom to our right. I glance inside, noting the vast bed, dressed with white bedding, the pale wood nightstands and closet, and the black and white photographs. Mine again, I guess.

“Is this my bedroom?” I ask, and Hunter turns.

“No. That’s here.” He nods to a door beyond the bathroom, and I step forward, still keeping hold of Josie, and look inside.

This room is quite similar to the other one, except there are signs of someone actually living here… a book beside the bed, a pair of shoes next to the dresser.

Hunter leads the way further into the apartment, to an open-plan living area.

“I thought you said this place was small,” Josie says, looking around.

“He did?”

“Yes.” She looks up at me.

“I don’t remember…”

“It wasn’t today,” Hunter says. “It was when you were still in the hospital. We were trying to decide where it would be best for you to go while you recuperated, and I said that coming here would be impractical because it’s not very big.”

I glance around at the high ceilings, the enormous windows, the expansive living area, with dark blue furnishings, and I turn and frown at him.

“It’s not?”

He smiles. “Okay, it’s not that small, but there’s only one bathroom here, and I knew that if you were both staying here, it could be inconvenient.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” I glance at Josie. She blushes, and I wish I’d kept quiet now.

“Well… I wasn’t to know how things were gonna develop between you,” Hunter says. “Or that there was any history. But in the past, whenever Ella’s stayed here, you used to make a point of staying away as much as you could.”

“I don’t remember Ella yet, but I imagine there’s an enormous difference between sharing this place with my sister and being here with Josie.” I look down at her again and, although she’s still holding my hand, I can sense her discomfort.

“I’m more than familiar with Ella,” Hunter says, “and you’re dead right.” We both laugh, although I’m aware of Josie’s uneasiness. I think Hunter is too. He gives me an odd look, his eyes dropping to her. “Shall I fix us some coffee?”

“Sure.”

He wanders to the other end of the room, into the kitchen area, which has white cabinets and granite countertops, and I turn toward Josie, knowing I need to say something, but scared I’ll say the wrong thing and make it all worse… if that were possible.

“Is this bringing back any memories?” she asks, saving me the trouble of starting the conversation.

“No.”

Hunter’s phone rings, but we both ignore him as he pulls it from his pocket, speaking in muffled tones.

“Does it feel like your kind of place?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what that is. The color scheme feels similar, but it’s not very personal. Still, I guess if I didn’t spend much time here…” I step in front of her, cupping her face in my hands and she gasps, looking up into my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Don’t bullshit me. You’re nervous. I can feel it. I just don’t know why. Surely you know you’re safe with me.”

“Of course I do.”

“Then why…?”

“I feel like you’ve brought me here to talk.”

“I have.”

“But I don’t know what to say.”

I smile, resting my forehead against hers. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Then what are we doing here?”

“We had to go somewhere, Josie. We couldn’t stay at the hospital…”

“Asshole.” We both turn at the sound of Hunter’s raised voice, and he glances over, shaking his head and stepping toward us. “Sorry,” he says, looking at Josie, but she shakes her head.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He holds up his phone, like it’s an exhibit. “That was Doctor Sweeney.”

I feel Josie tense beside me. She even takes a half step back and I look down. Her eyes have widened, her skin paling as she looks at my brother. He seems to have noticed her reaction, too, and moves a little closer.

“What did he want?” I ask and Hunter looks back at me again.

“He called to apologize.”

“What the hell for?”

“To use his words, for Josie’s lack of professionalism.” He looks pained, but that doesn’t stop Josie from flinching and I let go of her hand, putting my arm around her. She’s so stiff, I can’t mold my body to hers, but I’m not giving up. I keep a firm grip on her, regardless.

“Are you serious?”

“Completely. He was angry because Josie had walked out on you.”

I turn to Josie. “You told him?”

She looks up at me, her eyes clouded with confusion. “Told him what?”

“About us.”

“No,” she says. “I just explained that I couldn’t keep working with you. I didn’t give him a reason… and then I told him I wanted to leave the hospital. He said how disappointed he was, and that he thought the staff and patients would be better off without me.”

“That was a shitty thing to say.”

She blinks a couple of times, like she’s trying hard not to cry. “Was it?”

“Yes. It also isn’t true. You did everything he asked of you, even when you weren’t sure it was right, and you only left because it became personally difficult for you to stay. That wasn’t your fault.”

She shrugs her shoulders, like she’s not convinced, and I wonder if her nerves are entirely due to our situation, or whether his words have hit home… if they’re one of those conflicts she’d rather run and hide from.

I turn back to Hunter. “Why was he calling you?” I ask.

“To offer a few suggestions for private nursing agencies, where he said I’d be able to find someone to look after you.”

“He said he was gonna do that,” Josie says and I look back at her, knowing now that I’m right. I can see it in her eyes. She was expecting this call, although I imagine she hoped it would come later, when we weren’t all together.

“To humiliate you?”

“No. He said he was putting the patient first, even if I wasn’t.”

“Except I wasn’t your patient, was I?”

“Yes, you were.”

“No. First and foremost, I was your lover.” I hope to God I still am, but I don’t think now is the time to say that. “It was more complicated than he realized, Josie. You can’t take his criticisms to heart.”

“Can’t I?”

“No.” Hunter and I both speak at the same time and she looks over at him, and then back at me.

“I let you down.”

“No, you didn’t. And before you argue with me, it’s for me to judge how you made me feel, and no-one else.”

“And how did I make you feel?” she asks, nibbling on the corner of her lip.

I pull it free with my thumb, because it’s too distracting, and look into her eyes. “Scared.”

“Scared?”

“Yes. When we couldn’t find you, I was terrified. I thought I’d lost you.” I lean in and kiss her forehead, then turn back to Hunter. “What did you tell Sweeney?”

He stares at me for a second, then shakes his head, like he’s coming out of a dream. “I told him thanks, but you didn’t need a nurse anymore.” He glances down at Josie and then back at me, with a slight smile on his lips.

“No, I don’t.”

“Sweeney disagreed,” Hunter says, tipping his head one way and then the other. “He said the next part of your recovery could be traumatic, but I told him we’ll cope.” He lets his eyes drift down to Josie again and leaves them there this time. “Did I do the right thing?”

She nods her head, and Hunter smiles, returning to the kitchen.

I can’t help feeling a little relieved. We’ve got a lot to talk about, but that felt like Josie was saying – albeit silently – that she’s willing to come home with me. That’s a start. It’s a step in the right direction.

“We don’t have to talk, if you don’t want to,” I say and she looks up at me, frowning.

“We don’t?”

I suck in a breath, deciding to take a chance. “If you’re coming home with me, we’ve got time. We can talk later, or tomorrow… or whenever you’re ready. There are things that need saying…”

“Yes, there are.”

“But they don’t have to be said all at once… and not right now.”

She almost sags with relief, and while I don’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed by that, I console myself that at least she’s coming home.

For now.

She glances around, like she’s looking for a change of subject, and I can’t say I blame her. There’s too much tension. It needs breaking, and her eyes settle on the enormous wall-mounted television, which seems to have some kind of sound system beneath it.

“It seems you like your home entertainment,” she says, looking up at me.

“Yeah. I wonder what kind of music I listen to?”

“I don’t know. We never played any at the cottage.”

“No.” I wander over, feeling intrigued by my tastes, and flick on the sound system. There’s something already set up, and within a second, the room is filled with the sound of a piano playing… and then what seems to be a harp. At that precise moment, Josie bursts into loud tears behind me and I spin around, going straight to her, just as a man starts singing about the love of his life.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

I take her in my arms, and she sobs against me. “It doesn’t matter. You won’t remember it.”

“Remember what?”

She looks up at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. “This.”

“What? The music?”

“Yes.”

It obviously means a great deal to her, and I close my eyes, holding her close to me. “Who’s singing?” I ask, wondering if it will help.

“It’s Freddie Mercury.”

That means nothing, but as other voices join in, harmonizing with his, I get a shiver down my spine, and the briefest of images flashes through my head.

“A red dress,” I murmur, opening my eyes. Josie’s staring up at me, smiling through her tears.

“Yes. I was wearing a red dress.”

I clasp her cheeks in my hands, pushing my fingers back through her hair. “Was your hair shorter?”

“No. I was wearing it up.”

“That’s right.” I nod my head. “There’s nothing else. My mind’s a blank apart from that. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m just glad you’ve remembered that much.”

“Was it our first meeting? Is that why the song matters?”

“Yes. It was playing at that party… the one I told you about.”

“I can’t remember anything except your red dress and your hair.”

“It’s enough.”

“Is it?”

“For now, yes.” The music stops and then immediately starts again, and she sighs. “You’ve got it on repeat.”

“Evidently. It must have been important.” She smiles and leans in to me, her arms coming around my waist, a very different person to the one who looked so doubtful and anxious, just a few minutes ago. “Are you okay?” I ask.

She nods, looking up again. “I didn’t mean to make you scared.”

“It’s okay. I told you, we don’t have to talk now.”

“I understand that, but I just wanna say… I—I never wanted to hurt you, or make you scared, Drew.”

“I know. I said some things earlier which I shouldn’t have done. Blaming you for what happened was childish. It wasn’t your fault.”

“You were so angry.” Her eyes darken, like she’s re-living those awful moments outside the house in Newport.

“I was.”

“Even at the hospital, you said you were still angry.”

“I know. But I’m not angry anymore. Like I said, I need you too much to stay mad at you for very long.”

“You need me?” She gazes into my eyes, like she can’t quite believe me.

“Yes. I think this piece of music proves that.”

“It does?”

“Of course it does. I might not remember it now, but I clearly played it non-stop when I was here, presumably because it reminded me of you,” I say, moving closer, and this time her body molds to mine. “I’ve needed you all my life, Josie.”

“Which one? The one before the accident, or the one after?”

“Both.”

I crush my lips to hers and as she sighs in to me, I know I’m as close to finding myself as I ever need to be.