Epilogue

Ella

Why does the beginning of August have to be so damned hot?

I've never noticed it before, but I guess I've never been nine months pregnant before, either.

The last half of my pregnancy has been so much better than the first, but that's because Mac's been here, being oh, so solicitous.

He hasn't left my side since he said he'd always loved me. I knew then we had to put the past behind us; we had to move forward… and we had to do it together, because I've always loved him, too.

We've been living here in my apartment ever since. Mac helped me complete the nursery, and we had fun buying everything the baby could possibly need… and a few things he almost certainly won't.

We also converted the space that was once my formal dining area into a writing room, adding a wall and a door, where neither existed before. I never used it anyway, and we prefer eating in the kitchen.

Between supervising the alterations, looking after me, buying things for the baby, preparing the nursery, and attending all my appointments with me, Mac has somehow found the time to finish the second book in his series and it went off to the publishers at the beginning of the summer. With luck, it'll be out before Christmas. He's started the third one now, and the fourth and fifth have already been planned. He doesn't tell me much about his plots while he's writing, but he doesn't make me wait to buy one either. Instead, I read the first one after he'd completed the last edit, and the second one before he sent it off to Delilah. I love them… especially the central character. She's strong and feisty, and funny, too… and in this second book, he's made much more of the love story between her and the police inspector, which is kinda cute.

We're meant to be together, and we share everything, which is why I was surprised when he suddenly announced a couple of months ago that he'd pulled out of the negotiations with the production company for the rights to his books.

"Really? Are you sure?"

He came and sat beside me on the couch. "Yeah. I've just spoken to Delilah."

"What did she say?"

"After she'd calmed down, she accepted my decision."

"But what made you change your mind?" We hadn't talked about it for a while, but the last time it had come up, he was still happy to let Delilah handle things.

He took my hands in his, looking into my eyes. "She sent me an email earlier, saying the producer wanted me to go to New York for four days."

"Why?"

"I don't know. She didn't explain. She just said it was important."

"I see."

"And then I realized that was just the beginning. They might only want four days now, but it could be longer next time, or they might ask me to go further away… and I'm not doing it. I'm not leaving you."

"Y—You're doing this for me?"

"I'm doing this for us." He moved closer, letting go of my hand and pulling me into his arms.

"Because of the baby?"

"No. Because I love you. I need to be with you."

I needed him to be with me, too… and I kissed him. Deeply.

Since then, he's been a lot happier just writing. His first book is due out next month, and I have to admit, I'm almost as excited about that as I am about the impending birth of our baby.

I sit back in my chair, glancing across at him, and try to get comfortable. He seems oblivious of the heat, his head bent, his fingers flying across the keyboard, and I can't help smiling as I rub my hand across the bump. It's enormous now, and it's not just ‘the bump' anymore. It has a name.

We decided on that the day after Mac came back.

As he'd rightly pointed out, he had no clothes, so the next morning, we drove into the city… him in his rental car and me in my Mercedes. He returned the Toyota to the rental company, and I drove him on to his friend's apartment, where he collected his things. Calvin seemed surprised to see us, and offered us coffee, which we both declined for obvious reasons. He and Mac discussed his opening night, which he said hadn't gone as badly as he'd expected, and then we went into Mac's room and I watched him pack his things.

Afterwards, we said goodbye to Calvin. Mac promised to stay in touch with him, and I drove us back to Newport. It all felt new and exciting, and I think we were both a little nervous. We might have found each other again, but we were still edgy… finding our way. We needed to make conversation, and it was Mac who got us started.

"Have you chosen a name for the baby?" he asked. I could hear the worry in his voice, and although I was negotiating traffic and couldn't look at him, I could tell he was fearful that he'd missed out on something else.

"No."

"You're not just saying that, so I'll feel better?"

"No, Mac. I haven't been able to think of anything."

He fell silent for a moment or two. "I'm guessing you don't want to name him after your father?"

"Hell, no."

He chuckled. "What about other male relatives… or friends?"

"I'm not naming my son after my brothers, if that's what you're suggesting. Aside from the fact that I'd have to choose one and offend the other, they'd never let me forget it."

"I wasn't thinking of your brothers. I meant other relatives. Don't you have any uncles?"

"No. Both of my parents were only children. What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Do you have any family names we could consider? I mean… what was your dad called?"

He paused and then said. "Blake."

I glanced over at him, although he was looking straight ahead and I couldn't read his face. "You shared the same name?"

"Yes. It's one of the reasons I prefer to be called Mac."

"But you and your father had a good relationship, didn't you?"

"We had a great relationship, but both of us having the same name was bloody confusing."

I laughed, and he joined in, which eased some of the tension. "I remember you saying you don't have any uncles, but is there anyone else?"

"I have a godfather," he said.

"Oh?" I vaguely remembered him saying something about leaving him behind when he came over here.

"Yeah. How do you feel about Henry? As a name, I mean."

I mulled it over for all of about two seconds, deciding I liked the sound of it. "Is that your godfather's name?"

"Yes."

"Have you told me that before?"

"I might have done. I can't remember now."

"Tell me about him," I said.

"He's always been there." Mac's voice was wistful, and I slowed the car so I could concentrate on what he was saying. "He was my dad's best friend, and when my parents were killed, he became… I don't know… a kind of surrogate dad."

"Someone you could turn to?"

"Yeah. When I… when I got back to London in November, I didn't know what to do. I was practically broke and had nothing to look forward to," he said and I reached over, putting my hand on his leg. He placed his on top, caressing my knuckles. "So, I called Henry, and he gave me somewhere to live… someone to talk to."

"Is that where you've been ever since?"

"Yes. In his basement flat. To be honest, I'd have been lost without him."

I was tempted to say ‘sorry', but we'd agreed to stop apologizing, so instead I took his hand and placed it on the bump. "Say hello to Henry."

Mac shifted in his seat, twisting around so he was facing me. "You're happy with the name?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive."

He chuckled. "Henry's going to love this…"

We haven't told him yet. Mac had to call him when we got back to Newport, to ask if he'd arrange to ship all his things over, but didn't mention the baby's name. He'd decided to wait until after the baby's born. I think he was worried Henry would try to talk him out of it. I haven't met him yet, but I've seen him on FaceTime. Mac talks to him regularly, updating him on the baby's progress, and how his books are going. He says he'll come for a visit when the baby's born, and I can't wait to meet him… and thank him in person for being there when Mac needed him.

I focus on my laptop screen again, trying to concentrate. I've been working on a cookery book since Mac's return, and it's so nearly complete. Drew's taken the photographs for me, and they look fabulous. I've written all the recipes, having tried and tested them on Mac, Hunter and Livia, Pat and Mick, and even Livia's mom and dad, who've settled in well after the trauma of their move down here.

Now I've just got to finish the introduction, if I don't melt first. Delilah promised to look at it once it's done, so I just need to polish off this last paragraph…

"Is your brother coming down tomorrow?" Mac asks, just as I'm about to start typing again, and I look over at him. I love sharing our work space. We're good at it, and rarely interrupt each other, although neither of us minds when it happens.

"Which one?"

"Hunter."

"Yes, I imagine so. He hasn't said he won't be. Why?"

He turns in his seat, spinning it around so he's facing me, a smile etched on his lips. "If he and Livia are coming down early again, we should take advantage of having the pool to ourselves this afternoon… especially as Pat and Mick are away, too."

"We can use the pool when they're here, you know?"

He nods his head. "I know, but we have to wear swimming costumes."

I chuckle, and his smile widens. "In that case, I'd love to have a swim."

"Good. Why don't we stop in… say, half an hour?"

"Okay. I've just got the last paragraph of my introduction to write, and then I'm done."

"I won't hold you up any longer, then."

He spins back around again and focuses on his screen while I look back at mine, trying to decide what to write. I had an idea, but I can't remember what it was now…

I'm feeling distracted again. It seems to be easily done these days, and now I'm wondering why Hunter and Livia have taken to spending more time here. They used to arrive on Friday evenings and leave late on Sunday nights, but now they get here by Friday lunchtime and don't leave again until sometime on Monday afternoon. Don't get me wrong… I love seeing them, and we all get along really well. I just don't understand the change in their routine. I would have said it was because Livia wanted to spend more time with her parents, but her mom and dad have been living here for a while now, and this change has only been in the last few weeks. And besides, when they're here, they spend most of their time at the house… shut away.

As for Drew, he has absolutely no routine at all now. That's one of the reasons I want to get my book finished before our baby's born. I've seen the chaos Drew's life has become since the arrival of his daughter.

He was relieved Lexi had a girl… not just because that was what he wanted, but because he didn't like the name Xavier any more than I did. She's called Maisie, just like Lexi wanted, and she's absolutely adorable.

We don't see as much of her as I'd like, but he's brought them down here a few times, and they've stayed in the guest house together. It's big enough that Lexi and Maisie can have their own space, and Drew converted one of the bedrooms into a nursery. It's easy to see that he loves spending time with his daughter, and he's so besotted that when they're not here, he's with them… whenever his work will allow.

"I feel like a weekend dad," he said the last time I spoke to him. "But what can I do?"

"You don't think Lexi would consider moving to Boston?"

"I doubt it. As far as I know, she's always lived in New York."

"You don't think she'd like to live nearer to her sister?"

"No. I'm reading between the lines, but I get the impression they're not that close."

"But I thought they were. I thought that was why Lexi wanted to spend some time in Boston before Maisie was born."

I heard him sigh. "Like I said at the time, I think a lot of that was to do with boredom, more than anything. I just wish I'd realized sooner that the tie between them isn't as strong as I thought it was."

"Would it have made a difference?" I'm not sure he'd have been able to date Lexi's sister, regardless of their relationship. Not when Lexi was expecting his child.

"I don't know… but it's too late now."

I could hear the regret in his voice, and my heart went out to him. I knew how it felt to lose the person you love. Except I'd been lucky. Mac had come back to me.

Drew wasn't so fortunate.

I stare at my screen, suddenly remembering what I wanted to say in this last paragraph. It was to offer my thanks to the people who helped me write the book… so that's Drew for taking the photographs, the rest of the family for being guinea pigs, and Mac… for everything.

I find a way of wording that, surprised by the tears that well up in my eyes, which is another thing that happens all the time at the moment, and once I'm happy, I save the document and close my laptop. I can send it to Delilah another day. Right now, I need to get in the pool… before I spontaneously combust.

"I'm done. What about you?" I turn to face Mac.

"Just two more seconds."

He types furiously, his head bent, and I watch, loving his enthusiasm. Then he stops and spins around, smiling at me.

"Finished."

"Not the book?"

"No. Just that chapter."

I nod my head. "Can we go for a swim now?"

"Sure." He stands and comes across the room, leaning over me, his hands on the arms of my chair, his lips touching mine. "We need to get you naked."

My body shudders. "Hmm… I like the sound of that."

I heard somewhere that in the very late stages of pregnancy, women sometimes go off having sex. I guess that's probably because it's uncomfortable… and I can understand that. But, if anything, I seem to want Mac even more. We've had to be creative with positions, but I can't get enough of him, and regardless of my size, it seems he feels the same.

He offers his hand and I take it, letting him pull me up, just as a sharp pain rips through my abdomen and I let out a cry. The bump is harder than usual, and it feels tight, the pain searing through me. I struggle to breathe, and I cling to Mac for support.

"Ella? What's wrong? Tell me…"

I look up at him, the pain subsiding. "I—I don't know."

"Was that a contraction?"

"I'm not sure. I—I mean, there's no guidebook for this, is there?"

He smiles. "No. Do you want to sit down again?"

"I don't think so."

I take a step closer to him, then feel a trickle of water running down my leg. It's followed by a gush, and we both look down at the puddle on the wooden floor before our eyes meet again.

"I think that tells us everything we need to know." Mac sounds very calm, even though my heart is racing. He smiles and leans in, kissing me briefly. "Stay here. I'll go fetch your bag."

I nod and he disappears, although he returns a second later, empty-handed, and comes up, taking me in his arms, his lips meeting mine in a hard, fast kiss.

"I love you, Ella."

"I love you, too."

He smiles and turns away again, and even though I'm a little nervous about what's to come, I know I'll be okay. I'll be safe, because Mac's with me.

And he always will be.

***

Mac

I'm doing my best to stay calm, or to give the appearance of being calm, anyway.

We've been waiting so long for this moment, and now it's here, it feels unreal. But there's no time to think, and I run upstairs, grabbing Ella's bag from the bedroom, before I rush back down and re-join her in the writing room.

She's leaning over the desk, clutching the bump with one hand and her phone with the other.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I stop in the doorway, looking at her.

"I'm calling the birthing centre." It's not the most logical thing to be doing right now, but I guess if it makes her happy…

She suddenly yelps, and I drop the bag, going straight to her as she turns her head, looking up at me.

"This really hurts, Mac," she says, her face creased with pain.

I feel so helpless, wanting to do something, but knowing I can't… not really.

"What do you need?"

"I need someone at the hospital to answer the goddamn phone."

"Forget about it. Let's just go." It makes more sense to me, anyway.

She nods her head, hanging up the call, and I take her hand, grabbing the bag with my free one, and help her outside.

We changed Ella's convertible for a more sensible SUV about a month ago, although it's still a Mercedes, and once I've helped her into the passenger seat, I leap in behind the wheel.

"Are you o—"

Her cry interrupts my question and I watch her face crumple in agony as she clutches the bump. For a second I wonder if we're even going to make it to the hospital, but after a short while, she relaxes and looks over at me.

"Just go, Mac."

I start the engine and put my foot down.

Fortunately, the hospital is only ten minutes away, but by the time we arrive, Ella's already panting hard, and I'm struggling not to panic. I get her inside the building and a nurse comes straight over, taking charge and ushering us into a delivery room.

I'm nudged aside, while it seems all hell breaks loose. Ella's contractions are really close together now, and several people come into the room, examining her, wiring her up to a monitor and writing things down on charts… and although Ella's only a few feet away, she's not close enough for me.

That's one thing I've learned over the last few months… that having Ella close to me is everything I need. That's why I walked away from the negotiations with the TV company. Delilah didn't understand, but I was adamant. If it meant spending even an hour away from Ella, I wasn't going to do it.

That was the best decision I've made – apart from coming back here – and I have no regrets about any of it.

Ella's taught me that looking back and harbouring regrets is a waste of time. We have so many more positive things we could be doing, and we spend a lot of time doing them.

If we're not working together, we're cooking together, and I've surprised myself – and Ella – by becoming quite adept in the kitchen. I'm nowhere near as proficient as she is, but I could survive by myself, without relying on take-aways… although I hope I never have to.

When we're not working or cooking, we've been relaxing, enjoying each other and making love as often as possible… making the most of the time before the baby comes and relaxing becomes a thing of the past.

Making love won't become a thing of the past. I'm sure of that. We both want each other too much for that to happen.

"Mac?" I look up at the sound of Ella's voice and notice that the initial chaos seems to have died down. Everyone else has gone, except the midwife, who's moved to the other side of the bed and is studying the monitor. That means there's space enough for me to step forward, taking Ella's hand in mine. She gives me a squeeze, her eyes filled with a mixture of fear and excitement. I feel the same, but I do my best to bury my emotions and focus on hers, leaning in, so my lips are beside her ear.

"I love you so much."

"I love… oh, crap…" She's seized by yet another contraction, her grip tightening on my hand, crushing my fingers. In an ideal world, I'd pull my hand away, but I know this is nothing compared to what she's going through, and I clench my teeth, pretending it doesn't hurt.

The midwife turns, focusing on Ella, although she seems remarkably unfazed. She's young… probably only around Ella's age, and she smiles as she pats Ella's leg.

"Keep going. You're doing great."

Ella glares at her but stays silent, other than a mild groaning noise that seems to accompany every contraction now.

"When can I push?" she says, once the pain has subsided enough for her to speak coherently.

"Whenever you're ready. You're fully dilated."

"I am? That was quick."

The midwife smiles and nods her head, and Ella glances up at me, taking a deep breath, like she's preparing herself…

I wait, flexing my hand as far as her grip will allow, and although we both know what's coming, it seems to take forever. The midwife changes position, settling at the end of the bed, but still nothing happens. I'm just wondering if this is a cruel false alarm, whether it's all going to stop for a while, when Ella grasps my hand again, tipping her head forward onto her chest as a new contraction seizes her and I see the effort in her face as she pushes with everything she's got.

The contraction passes, and she settles her head on the pillow, looking up at me. "Never again," she whispers. "I'm never doing this again."

"Okay. Whatever you say."

"Can I have some water?"

I pull my hand from hers, taking the opportunity to clench my fist a few times, and reach for the beaker on the nightstand, helping her to take a few sips. I've only just replaced it and put my hand back in hers when the next contraction hits. She repeats the same process, only this time with even more effort, wanting it to be over, I guess.

"Keep pushing… keep pushing…" The midwife urges, but Ella flops onto the pillow, spent, and I lean over, kissing her forehead.

"You're doing so well."

"Shut up."

I try not to smile.

"If you can give me one more big push like that, I think we'll be there," the midwife says, and I turn to look at her. She gives me a slight wink and I nod my head. I guess she's heard it all before.

"How do women do this for hours on end?" I ask. I can't believe anyone can, but the midwife just smiles at me.

"It's not really optional by this stage."

I guess not, and I return my attention to Ella, who's closed her eyes, presumably to make the most of a few moments' peace. They shoot open again within seconds and she grabs my hand even tighter than ever, a throaty cry coming from deep inside her.

"That's great, Ella… keep going… keep…" The midwife stops talking and Ella suddenly slumps… and after just a couple of seconds, I hear our baby's first cry, and my heart bursts.

"I think I could look at you like that forever."

Ella's sitting up in bed, Henry cradled in her arms, and I can't stop staring.

"Don't," she says. "I'm a mess."

"You're beautiful." I lean in and kiss her for the hundredth time today. "You're the bravest woman I know."

We've been sitting here by ourselves for about an hour now, the midwife having left us to get to know our son, and I still can't stop looking at him. He has a shock of dark hair, and the bluest of blue eyes, and he keeps gazing at Ella, like she's the most precious thing in the world… which, of course, she is.

"Can you do something for me?" she says.

"Of course. Anything."

She smiles. "Can you call my brothers?"

I nod my head and pull my phone from my back pocket. Hunter gave me his and Drew's numbers a couple of weeks ago, just in case, and I look up his details first. He answers promptly.

"Mac? Is it Ella?"

"Yes… well, Ella and the baby."

"She's had it? Him, I mean?"

"Yes. About an hour ago."

"And they're both okay?"

"They're both perfect."

I hear him sigh, knowing how relieved he'll be. "Livia and I are gonna come down tomorrow. Do you think Ella will be home by then?"

"Yeah. They said she can go home in the morning, so I guess she'll be back by the time you arrive."

"Great. We'll see you all tomorrow. Give Ella a kiss from me, will you?"

"I will."

"And congratulations."

"Thanks."

We end our call and I glance at Ella, who's gazing at Henry, her eyes filled with love, a smile twitching at her lips. I love her more than ever, and I need to tell her that… and a few other things besides. But first I need to call Drew.

He takes a little longer to respond, and I half expect the call to go to voicemail, just as he picks up.

"Sorry I took so long. I'm at the airport."

It's a strange greeting, but nothing about Drew's life surprises me. He rarely even sits down these days.

"Which airport?"

"Logan. I'm flying to Rome."

"You are?"

"Yeah." He doesn't sound entirely thrilled about it. "I've been trying not to travel too much since Maisie was born, but the client insisted… although, on the bright side, at least it's not a fashion shoot, so I don't have to take too much kit with me."

"How long will you be away?"

"Ten days. I'm gonna miss Maisie so much." I can hear it in his voice, and understand it so much better now. "Anyway, why did you call?"

"To let you know Ella's had the baby."

"Oh, my God. Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Things were a little different about an hour ago. I think she'd have happily killed me then."

He laughs. "I remember that feeling. Lexi and I weren't even together, and she threatened to castrate me, just so I couldn't inflict the pain of having to give birth on any other woman." He pauses. "It's a great feeling, isn't it? Not the threats against your manhood, but becoming a father?"

"It is." I glance over at Ella again. She's looking up at me now, and I blow her a kiss. She returns the gesture, and focuses back on our son again.

"Don't miss a second of it," Drew says in my ear.

"I won't."

"And tell Ella I'll come visit the moment I get back from Rome."

"Okay. Take care of yourself."

"I'll do my best."

He hangs up, and I turn to Ella. "I just need to call Henry. Is that okay?" She nods her head and I find Henry's details, placing the call.

"Mac?"

"Henry. I'm just calling to let you know I'm a father."

"Oh… oh, my dear boy. That marvellous news."

"I also wanted to tell you, we've named the baby Henry."

There's a slight pause and then he says, "I—I don't know what to say." I can hear the emotion in his voice, though, and I wish he could be here, so I could hug him.

"You don't have to say anything. Just promise you'll come over for a visit."

"I will, although I'll give you a while to get used to being parents first."

"Not too long."

"No, not too long." He coughs. "Give my love to Ella, won't you?"

"I will."

"And give little Henry a kiss."

"Of course."

I can't help smiling as we end our call, and I pocket my phone, wandering back to Ella. Henry's asleep now, and I lean over, kissing his forehead. He wrinkles his nose, but doesn't stir, and I whisper, "That's from Uncle Henry."

Ella looks up at me. "How was he? Did he mind us naming Henry after him?"

"Not at all. I think he was very moved by it, actually."

She nods her head. "And my brothers?"

"They're thrilled. Hunter says he and Livia will see us tomorrow, when they come down."

"And Drew?"

"He's on his way to Rome."

"Rome?" she says, as surprised by that news as I was.

"Yeah. It's an assignment. He's not happy about it, but he said he'll come and visit when he gets back."

She nods her head. "Okay."

"You look tired."

"I feel tired."

I take Henry from her, being careful of his head, and place him in his crib, gazing down into his perfect face before I turn back to Ella. She's moved down the bed a little, but I perch beside her.

"I've been waiting for the right moment to do this… and I can't think of a better one, even if I don't have the ring with me."

Her eyes widen. "Ring?"

"Yes." I smile at her. "It's at home, in my bedside table, where it's been for the last three months or so."

"What ring are we talking about?"

"The one I hope you'll allow me to put on your finger." I take her left hand, caressing her ring finger. "I—I guess a lot of men would have proposed before now. It's considered the decent thing, when you get your girlfriend pregnant. But I didn't want you to think I was asking you to marry me just because you were carrying our child. I knew I had to wait until you weren't pregnant anymore, and now you're not, I don't want to wait another second to ask you to be my wife."

She blinks hard a couple of times, trying not to cry, I think. "Y—You want to marry me?"

"God, yes. I'd have asked before now, but like I say, I didn't want you to have any doubts about me or my motives."

"I could never doubt you, Mac."

"Then say yes."

She nods her head, a tear falling onto her cheek. I lean in and kiss it away, and she smiles up at me, sighing her happiness. I kiss her lips and she responds, our tongues meeting in a gentle caress, although we both chuckle when Henry starts to cry.

"Is this how it's gonna be?" I ask, leaning back.

"I hope so," she says, her eyes never leaving mine as I get up to fetch our son, and I nod my head… because there's nothing I want more than my family, and our life.

The End

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