Chapter Four

Tyler

Aknock came at the door next afternoon. The pain had woken Tyler continuously from sleep all night. He was bad-tempered and tired. It had to be his hot landlord at the door, but when he negotiated there on crutches and swung it open, he found Finn from the diner standing outside. In his arms he held a box full of food with a white plastic package lying on top.

“Hey,” he said with a smile. He wore a black T-shirt and grey shorts. The scar on the inside of his right arm stood out white against his tanned skin.

“Hi,” Tyler said awkwardly. He didn’t know if he was happy to see him or not.

“I brought you some groceries.”

Tyler frowned.

“Because you’re feeling under the weather and might not feel up to shopping,” Finn said hurriedly as though reading Tyler’s thoughts about not being a charity case.

Tyler softened. He felt awkward. “There’s really no need.”

“I’m just looking out for you,” Finn said. “It seems like you need someone to do that.”

Tyler’s throat was blocked suddenly by a lump like a boulder. He stepped back without a word. As Finn entered the house, Tyler glanced across the driveway and saw Holden in the kitchen. Their gazes met. Tyler closed the door.

Finn walked down the hall to the kitchen and placed the box on the counter. “I got you these too.” He turned around and held out the plastic package with a shy smile. They were stump socks, thick ply. Tyler stared at them. “There’s a lady on YouTube,” Finn said. “She makes these great videos. She was demonstrating these socks and saying that they pad your leg if you have shrinkage and I wondered if your pain was caused by your socket being too big and…” He stopped, blushing. “I’m sorry. I know nothing about it but I was trying to educate myself. Sorry if I’m way off base.”

Tyler swallowed. “You’re not.” He took the package and looked at it. The socks were thicker than any he had now and might be just what he needed. He glanced up at Finn. “Thanks. This is probably the best present anyone’s ever bought me.” He gave an unsteady laugh, not sure if he was going to cry or not.

Finn stepped forward. He clapped a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. He seemed about to hug him, but thought better of it. “I’m glad.”

“Would you like some coffee?” Tyler wasn’t sure he wanted Finn to stay but it was only polite. And besides, Finn was a great guy, someone he could be friends with if he could only let him in.

“Sure,” Finn said.

Tyler had a jug freshly made. He rested his crutches against the counter and poured two cups before he twisted around to give one to Finn. “Sugar and cream?”

“No thanks, just black.”

“Go through.” Tyler gestured to the living room. He knew he couldn’t carry his own mug while using his crutches and he saw that Finn did too, because he reached past Tyler and took the cup, carrying them both into the living room. Tyler followed him in. Finn sat on the couch, placing both mugs on the coffee table and Tyler sat opposite him in his favorite chair.

“How’s it going with your landlord?”

Tyler sighed. “He said sorry for trying to throw me out.”

Finn arched a brow. “He did? That’s great.”

“No, it’s not. He only did it because I threatened to tell the press where he was hiding out.”

Finn kept a neutral expression on his face.

“I’m not usually such a terrible person,” Tyler said, because Finn’s opinion of him was suddenly all important.

“I know that,” Finn said softly. “I’m a good judge of character. You’re hurting and you’re trying to find the best way out of that.”

Once more, Tyler had to swallow the lump in his throat. “I offered to fix up the house. To make up for being such an asshole. I’m not sure he gave me an answer or not. He was pretty reluctant to have me over there.” He laughed weakly.

Finn smiled. “A project might be just what you need. I could help out.” He glanced across to the house and his face darkened. “Although, actually…” he trailed off.

Tyler regarded him. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Finn rubbed a hand over his face and blew out his breath. “I lived in that house for a spell when I first came to town.”

Tyler remained silent. Something bad was coming. He could see it by the agony on his new friend’s face. Finn sighed. He shifted on the couch, squeezing his hands together in his lap. “It brings back bad memories. I had to really steel myself to come over here today.”

“I really appreciate that you did,” Tyler said in a low voice.

Finn bit his lip. “I was hiding out. From an ex. Dominic. He… found me eventually and he…he tried to kill me. And Brandon shot him. There in the house.”

Tyler stared at him. He couldn’t believe his ears. He wondered if Holden knew. Maybe he had got the house cheap because of what had happened there. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to buy it. “Did he… is he dead?” he asked with hesitance.

“Oh yeah.” Finn gave a little, strained laugh. “He’s rotting in hell as we speak.”

Tyler let out his breath. “I’m sorry.” He gestured at Finn’s arm. “And that?”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “He did that. Poured boiling water on me. He did other stuff too. Broke my bones. Whored me out to his friends.”

Tyler sat motionless. He felt tears pricking his eyes at Finn’s matter-of-fact calmness.

“I guess you’re wondering how I allowed that to happen, you being a tough army guy and all,” Finn said and Tyler saw his dark blue eyes had a shine across them now.

He shook his head. “No, Finn, that’s not what I’m wondering at all.”

“Aren’t you?” Finn seemed to need the reassurance and Tyler wanted badly to give it to him.

“No. I’m thinking how happy you seem with Brandon now.”

Finn’s face relaxed into a grin. He blushed. “Oh my God, I love that guy to the moon and back. He’s my everything.”

Tyler smiled.

“I made it so hard for him when I came here. He wanted to be my friend and I needed the help but I pushed him away over and over again, and I regret that. I want to try and pay forward everything he did for me.” He looked at Tyler expectantly.

Tyler didn’t like the focus coming back to him. He remembered Holden’s words. You look like you need the charity. He lowered his gaze and found himself looking at the empty end of his pants leg. Losing a leg seemed to have robbed him of his identity. As though part of his psyche was thrown away when the limb had been discarded as useless. He still didn’t know how to deal with it, when he should have just been grateful that he was alive. But his identity had been wrapped up in being a soldier. Now he was nothing.

“It’s okay,” Finn said softly. “If you want to talk, I’m here. If you don’t, we could just hang out. Any time you want. Brandon’s a great cook.” He gave a laugh.

Tyler did his best to smile. Finn’s company was fine, but he couldn’t imagine being invited over for a pity dinner with the local sheriff. Most definitely not.

“When I’m not at the diner, I’m painting,” Finn said. “Do you have any hobbies?”

Tyler hesitated. “No,” he said, because the thing he’d once enjoyed above all else wasn’t really a hobby anymore, as he couldn’t afford to do it now. It wasn’t a hobby that he liked talking about anyway for fear he might get laughed at. He’d definitely never told anyone in the army.

“Do you like reading?”

“Yeah.” Tyler had been a voracious reader, but even that had fallen by the wayside because the demons inside his head wouldn’t stop for one minute to allow him to lose himself in someone else’s world.

“I have tons of books. I could lend you some of your landlord’s books. He’s good.”

Tyler scowled, although he was certainly curious. He didn’t even know what sort of stuff Holden wrote.

Finn smiled. “Hey, if he’s said sorry, you guys are okay, right?”

Tyler shrugged.

“Seems to me that you might be good for each other. Two guys in need of company…”

“I never said I was gay,” Tyler blurted out.

Finn looked startled. He flushed. “I didn’t actually mean it that way,” he said.

It was Tyler’s turn to redden.

“I just meant…” Finn trailed off. Then he smiled. “He is crazy hot for an older guy though, right? Got that George Clooney vibe going on.”

Tyler couldn’t stop the heat rising further up from his shirt collar. “He’s not really my type,” he mumbled.

Finn grinned. “So you are gay, and he is your type?”

Tyler threw a cushion at him and they both laughed. They drank some coffee without speaking.

“Come over for dinner,” Finn said. “I want to see what you’re like after a couple of beers. A riot, I reckon.”

Tyler smiled against his will. “I’ll let you know.”

“I won’t let you hide away here.” Finn stood. “I’ll get going, but I’ll be back. Now why don’t you go over and see your hot landlord? You both need a shoulder to cry on.”

Tyler said nothing. He took his crutches and climbed up, hopping towards the door. Finn followed him out and Tyler rested on his crutches and watched as he climbed into his car, a black Toyota. Finn started the engine. “I’ll see you soon,” he said through the open window. “My treat next time you come to the diner.”

Tyler smiled. “Thanks for coming. And the socks.”

“Don’t be a stranger,” Finn said as he turned the car and backed up.

Tyler stood and watched him bump down the dirt road. He thought of everything Finn must have gone through with Dominic. He suffered far worse than I ever did, and he is living testament to putting your demons behind you. Although he didn’t know what traumas Finn continued to relive. Was he as happy as he let on? Certainly his relationship with Brandon was, Tyler could see that a mile away. How was he so strong? What was his secret? Tyler wished he had the same. Someone to lean on, someone to hold him when the pain became too much and the flashbacks threatened to drive him insane. But he’d never had a real relationship with a man, only cruising from one bed to another. He glanced across at Holden’s house and imagined what Finn had suffered there. The violence and blood-shed the house had seen. Brandon had killed Dominic. He had killed a man for Finn. A shiver passed through him. It made him see the sheriff in a whole new light. He would perhaps be even more intimidated by him when they next met. But then again, Tyler had killed men too. Lots of men. Those memories were a part of the flashbacks and the reason why he would never sleep easy again.

He saw Holden standing in the kitchen then and he froze. Holden did too. He lifted a hand in a stiff, awkward gesture. Tyler returned it. He turned to go back inside. As he propped his crutches against the wall so he could close the door, he heard the door to the house open and Holden stepped out.

“Hey,” he called.

“Hi,” Tyler said with his hand on the door, using his other hand to balance himself against the wall.

“How’s your leg today?”

“A bit better, thanks.”

“That’s good.” Holden stepped out onto the stretch of land separating their respective houses. He approached cautiously as though Tyler was some sort of wild animal who might bite. “Listen, I found some tins of paint and some brushes in the garage.” He gestured behind him vaguely. “If you still wanted to… when you feel better.”

Tyler opened his mouth to say he had changed his mind about fixing up Holden’s place and stopped. He remembered Finn’s words. They could be good for each other. Even if he didn’t mean it that way. It wouldn’t kill him to open up and lean on someone. But Holden had enough troubles of his own. Would it do Tyler good to let someone lean on him in turn? Altruism was good. It would make him feel good in turn to help Holden out. Especially after that shit he had pulled with the blackmail. So mean. He could start with the work on the house. And then maybe Holden would forget for good that he wanted Tyler out of the annex.

“Sure,” he said. “If my leg feels okay tomorrow, I’ll be over to start.”

Holden smiled. His teeth were perfect rows of pearly-white. Tyler’s stomach clenched. He felt his shorts tighten. Oh wow, I really am crushing hard on an older guy.

“Great,” Holden said. He hovered for a moment. “Want a beer?”

Tyler glanced at his watch while he thought of his reply. It was four p.m. Reasonable enough. Tyler liked to drink, though. He had to be strict with himself or it would be way too easy to slide down. He regarded Holden for a moment. What was his angle here? Company? Something more? Feeling sorry for him? He knew Holden was gay after all. Would a guy his age really make a serious play for Tyler? And wouldn’t it be welcome? Hell, yes. Tyler had never done a silver fox before. He’d love to see this one squirming beneath him.

But Tyler didn’t shit on his own doorstep. A one-night stand with a guy with the power to evict him was as bad an idea as it could get. But what if he rejected Holden and then the guy threw him out in spite? His head hurt from the permutations. Why couldn’t he just accept a friendly offer of a beer as something that maybe had no strings? He could sit and chat with Holden without sex looming between them, couldn’t he? He hadn’t told Holden he was gay and he didn’t think he had made it obvious he found him attractive, so surely Holden didn’t know, right? But Holden was gay. That meant he had gaydar and that meant he knew that Tyler was crushing on him. Now he felt that his head was going to explode. He also felt that he wanted to kiss Holden badly. Needed to.

“Yeah,” he said, against his better judgement.

Holden smiled again and Tyler’s cock thickened and begged to come out to play.