Chapter Twenty-One

Tyler

“Why don’t you let me call Brandon for you?” Tyler asked gently when Finn was sitting beside him with his head on his shoulder and his tears all cried out.

Finn shrugged away. He shook his head. “Why? So he knows you’ve all seen me?”

“Hey, I haven’t seen you,” Tyler said.

“I already sent a take-down notice to the site,” Holden said from his place on the other couch. “I threatened them with legal action. Told them it was a police matter.”

Finn swallowed and swiped at his eyes. He said nothing. Tyler rubbed his back. “I’ve got something strong in the cupboard. Why don’t I get it?”

When Finn still didn’t reply, Tyler got up. He went into the kitchen and heard Holden following him in. He saw him glance at the stamps spread out on the table, before Holden said, “I’m sorry.”

Tyler pulled a bottle of scotch from the cupboard and three glasses. He didn’t much care that it wasn’t midday yet. “What for?” he asked.

“For telling Finn. I came over for your advice. I hoped me and you could handle it without him ever finding out.”

Tyler sighed. He poured the scotch and handed a glass to Holden. “I’m sure he knew deep down that he was out there somewhere.”

Holden took a gulp of his drink. “My publisher sent me a big advance. I feel bad.”

Tyler left the bottle on the counter because he suspected Finn might need a top-up. “Don’t,” he said.

“Should I give it all to Finn?”

“He wouldn’t take it.”

Holden bit his lip. “I’m sorry about last night too.”

Tyler swallowed some scotch. “You got the wrong idea.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I like you, Holden.”

Holden gave a small smile but his face was still strained and anxious. “I like you too.”

“Good.”

“But you think I’m a guy that can’t commit or have any feelings other than where the next dick’s coming from. It’s not true. I have feelings for you.”

Tyler didn’t say anything. His chest was aching a little.

Holden dropped his voice. “I don’t want to hurt you. As I said last night.”

“And I think I said I was a big boy.” He expected Holden to make some joke about the size of his cock, but he didn’t. He stepped forward and put an arm around Tyler’s neck, holding him. Tyler closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of Holden’s skin, his cologne and his hair gel. He smoothed his hand down Holden’s back and wished they were back in bed, just them, with the world outside and all its problems sailing away from them.

Finn gulped his scotch down in one. Then he stood. “I’m going to get going.”

“Don’t go like this,” Holden said softly. “You’ll wrap your car around a tree.”

Finn turned stricken eyes on them both. “What am I going to tell Brandon? He’ll know something’s up. If he finds out…God, it was bad enough when he found those DVDs at Dominic’s house.”

Tyler glanced at Holden and Finn noticed. “Brandon went to Dominic’s house, after he’d killed him,” he said by way of explanation. “He wanted to…I don’t know what he wanted to do. But he found me starring in some movies Dom had made. I bet he wishes he hadn’t gone there now. How can he ever unsee that? Then he went back and burned the place to the ground. He thinks I don’t know, but I do.”

“God,” Holden said.

“If he finds out I’m on the fucking internet too, it’ll break him.”

“No, it won’t. He’s the strongest man I’ve ever met,” Holden said. “And it’s not about him, it’s about you. And you’re just as strong.”

Tyler looked at him in admiration. Holden gave a great pep talk. Tears had dewed Finn’s eyes again and he swiped them away. “I don’t feel strong,” he said in a wavering voice. “I feel like that man Dom beat and abused until I couldn’t get any further down at the bottom, and he’s still having the last word.”

Holden shook his head. “He’s dead. You’re not. The last word will be yours. In your book.”

Maybe it was Holden’s age that made him so wise. Tyler liked his sure, steady manner and his firm belief in what was right. He came with baggage, but he was a good man, that much was clear. Holden glanced at him when Tyler stared at him for too long. Tyler smiled and Holden reached over and squeezed his hand.

“Do you want me to come home with you?” Holden asked Finn. “Speak to Brandon? I realize I’m not his favorite person after yesterday.” He blushed and Tyler tried not to grin.

“Why don’t we both come?” Tyler suggested. “Make a plan to deal with it.”

“Yeah,” Holden said. “I can engage a lawyer.”

Finn stared at him wide-eyed. “You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because…because then they’ll know too.”

“They won’t bat an eyelid, Finn. I’ll hire someone with experience in this kind of thing.”

“What kind of thing? Revenge porn from beyond the grave?” Finn started to laugh, a kind of hiccupping sob, but still a laugh. Tyler joined in because it was kind of funny. Holden gave him a look but Finn was laughing harder now and didn’t seem to mind that Tyler was too. Holden smiled, still looking unsure.

The three of them were sitting at the kitchen table when Brandon arrived. He let himself in and took off his shoes before he padded down the hall, stopping short in the doorway and looking from Tyler to Holden. “What’s with the welcoming committee?” he asked, reserving the hardest look for Holden. Finn had called him ten minutes ago and asked him to come home. Tyler was impressed at how long it took Brandon to arrive when summoned.

“Sit down, babe,” Finn said in a small voice with his pain etched on his face.

Brandon studied him for a moment. Then he bent and pressed a kiss to the top of Finn’s head before he took a seat next to him, reaching for his hand.

Tyler had suggested in the car on the way over that Holden or he could tell Brandon, so Finn didn’t have to put it into words. Finn had moaned and muttered and not come up with a reply. Then Tyler had suggested that Finn didn’t even need to be there, that he and Holden could meet with Brandon privately and talk about the video. Finn had vetoed that idea, even though he sat now looking like he was going to a firing squad.

“What’s going on, sweets?” Brandon asked Finn, stroking his thumb with his own. Tyler saw the concern and love on his face. He saw the stiffness of his body language, the tense line of his jaw and wondered how low this man had been brought by dealing with all Finn’s demons. He guessed all the support had always been for Finn and he wondered if anyone ever went out of their way to ask Brandon how he was feeling. He suspected the sheriff kept his feelings inside just fine and got on with it. He was a stronger man than Tyler would ever be and he envied Finn. Glancing at Holden, he wondered if dealing with Tyler’s nightmares, pain and flashbacks would be something he would end up getting tired of when he had his own shit consuming him.

Finn looked from Tyler to Holden with something approaching terror. Brandon glanced at them too. He must know, Tyler thought. Surely he’s always thought Finn would be on the internet after he’d seen the DVDs.

Brandon sighed. “Any of you guys want to enlighten me? You all look like someone just died.” He didn’t smile.

Tyler licked his lips and glanced at Holden before he said. “There’s a video of Finn on a website.”

Brandon paled. He clenched his jaw so a muscle in it ticked, then he tightened his hand on Finn’s and looked at him. “It’s okay,” he said. He was probably ruing the day Finn got tangled up with someone like Holden, a porn connoisseur who, if the video was going to be found, would find it. Maybe he and Finn would never have been the wiser about the video being online were it not for Holden.

Finn bowed his head. Tears slid out from under his lashes and he wiped his hand roughly over his face.

Tyler baulked at this intimate moment. “We want to help take it down from however many sites it’s on,” he said.

Brandon was so still and pale that for a moment Tyler braced himself for an explosion of blame and recrimination and for him and Holden to be thrown out of the house. Instead, Brandon cupped Finn’s head in a gentle hand and eased it down against his shoulder. “Thanks,” he said and with that one word, they were dismissed. Tyler and Holden stood and left the kitchen. Glancing back at the door, Tyler saw Finn clinging to Brandon and Brandon stroking his head, murmuring words too quiet to hear.

They walked away from the house together, circling the lake in silence. As they approached Holden’s house, Tyler took a breath and said, “I’m ready to tell you about losing my leg now.”