Chapter Twelve

Stevie and I studied in silence that night with the exception of passing snacks back and forth. Studying went with snacks—period. Her declaration soon became mine.

Plus, I'd skipped dinner again, trying to save some of my dignity.

I couldn't face the guys. Grim, maybe. He had seen me at my absolute most frantic, but the others…it hurt too much to let them see me after proving myself a failure.

Stevie shut her book. Her chair made an awful screech as she pushed back from the desk and flicked her lamp off. "I'm gonna shower and then go to bed. My brains are scrambling by the minute."

Mine were too.

"I think I'll take a walk," I replied, putting all my books and notes back in my bag.

"Are you okay?" she asked, rifling through her dresser for pajamas. "You've been kind of quiet tonight."

"Caught up in my own shit," I replied, feeling awful for caging myself in my head when I should've been more friendly. Stevie had been nothing but nice to me. "I'm sorry."

"No sorries. Have a good walk. Maybe you'll run into one of those fine men who are always staring at you."

"Who?" I asked. We both cracked up. Of course I knew what men. And she knew that I knew what men. "They really stare at me?"

"Yes. I heard a girl in anatomy say that they have stuck together for years. Raised in the same pack. They've gone to a ton of mating gatherings and came back empty-handed every time."

"What's a mating gathering?" I put my shoes on but didn't worry about a jacket. My skin was over-warm already.

"Where packs meet up to see if their mates are there."

"Well, I'm sure one day they will find their mates." I reached for the door handle as she gathered her things.

She giggled and shook her head but said nothing in response. I took the elevator to the roof and made my way to the training area, the same one class was held at. I stood in the middle and let myself wade through the emotions of the day.

I took in a long drag of the cold night air, hoping it would break through this never-ending fever that remained day after day since I'd arrived here. Before, the moments of overheating would come and go, but now, it died down sometimes but didn't quite vanish.

"Minx." The voice caught me off guard, and I jumped a bit. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, female."

My dad called my mom female when we were at home. She would always wave him off with a giggle, and I wondered why it affected her so.

"That's okay, Bodhi." I knew the voice. I turned toward him, drawn to the sound. "What are you doing out here?"

Running his hand through his light-brown hair, he emerged from the shadow under a tree. "I could ask you the same." He reached me with only a few steps and cocked his head. "Tell me why you're crying."

Not a question. A firm but sweet command. My brain swirled with other ways he could command me, and I knew I would obey. These men had me thinking anything was possible. Stevie adding her input to the mix didn't do anything but encourage those thoughts. They had been staring at me?

"It's been a long day. That's all."

He reached up and swiped the salty streams from my face. "Don't lie to me, female."

Oof. Yeah, I got it now—the female thing. My core got the message as well.

"Maybe I don't want to tell you," I replied, looking down. I was so damned tired of the shame. The shame of not shifting. The shame I was to my parents. The shame of maybe—probably burning my school down.

The shame of not being able to conjure my wolf when it seemed to be no problem whatsoever to everyone around me. Everyone but Stevie.

"Why? You think I would hurt you? Tease you about something causing you pain? I would never."

I believed him. Grim had taken on all my weird. He had done nothing but comfort me through it.

Instead of answering his question, I shrugged and let new tears take the place of the ones he'd wiped away.

"Does this have anything to do with shifting class today?" he asked. "I know it must've been difficult for you."

"I'm ashamed that I can't shift," I admitted, letting the sobs come. Holding them in seized me in a grip of pain.

Bodhi reached out and wrapped me up in his arms. His touch unraveled me. I sobbed into his chest while he stroked my hair and held me close. "There's no reason for you to be ashamed of who you are, Minx. Wolf or no wolf. You've held all of this together by yourself, haven't you? Kept yourself together. Hidden yourself from the world."

I nodded.

"You don't have to do that anymore, baby. You can tell me anything. Good. Bad. Horrible. Destructive. I can take all of it. You can share your pain with me and with us."

The last sentence struck me. Grim had said something similar, when I was falling apart. He asked me to give him all my pain. Asserted he could take it.

Strange they would say similar things but, then again, they were never apart. They stuck together like their own pack.

"At this point, I doubt I'm even a shifter. I'm some kind of DNA anomaly."

A low growl came from him and wrapped itself around my chest. "No, you're not, baby. You're a shifter, and your wolf is in there. She's waiting for the right time. You have to trust yourself and her."

"How do you know?" I asked, pulling back but only enough to look up at his face. His perfect jawline called out for my lips to touch them but I used my fingers instead, grazing the outline with the tips. I watched his Adam's apple bob as his green eyes looked down on me with something I couldn't decipher.

He brought his hand up to my face and then skimmed it down my jawline, the side of my neck, and then stopped right above the dip between my breasts. My weird fevers and spikes of temperature were nothing like the lava that poured through me at his touch. "She's here. Your wolf. I can feel her. Even now, she's reaching out for me."

"Really?" I asked, looking down like a goofball as though I could see the wolf inside me.

"Yeah, female. She's almost ready."

His hands moved to my waist, and he tugged, bringing our torsos and hips together. Bodhi's hardness was against me, and that move he'd just made was to show me how I affected him.

A boost to my easily shattered ego.

"Are you going to kiss me or just show me how much you want to?" I asked. Being near him emboldened me.

He chuckled. The sound was dark, haunting but stirred me. "I knew you would beg, Minx. I'm so glad you did."

He swallowed my gasp as his mouth covered mine. His lips were full and soft, yet commanding, taking control of the movements. I had no choice but to follow as he whispered for me to let him in.

His strong fingers wove into my hair. I tilted my head for a deeper kiss.

I burned for him.

With a few pecks, he ended the kiss. Bodhi laid his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed. Our ragged breaths mingled, hot against the chill in the air. "I can't believe I found you."

I had the feeling he didn't mean tonight, in this field.

"You ready to go back to your dorm?" His tone made me shiver.

"No," I laughed, making him laugh in return.

"Ah, female. I'm tempted to bring you back to mine, instead, but I'm going to do the right thing here."

He let out a few curses along the way. He and I were both regretting his gentlemanly manners. I'd always heard shifters just went right to it, but maybe common wisdom wasn't all that right.

When we reached my door, I turned around, hoping for a kiss to prove that before wasn't a dream.

"How do you know my wolf is almost ready?" I blurted. His kiss had blurred everything from the day, but his response came back to me.

One side of Bodhi's mouth pulled up in a smile, revealing a dimple in his cheek. "You'll see soon, Minx. I promise."

Bodhi didn't break promises. In my heart, I knew that about him.

We bid each other good night, but it wasn't until he walked away that I could bring myself to open the door and go inside.