Chapter 8

Mikhail: Chapter 8

Her taste burst on my tongue, as I thrust it into her mouth and let my mouth take hers the way I'd been dreaming of doing for weeks. I knew vaguely I should slow down, but I couldn't. The thought of her letting another man teach her anything, to kiss her, and take her body, made me insane. I wanted to kill, while at the same time, I wanted to drag her off to my private cave and hide her. To spend hours, days, even weeks, taking her in every way I could and while I did it, I'd make sure she'd never want anyone but me. I'd mark not only her body but her mind, heart, and soul as mine. And while I did those things, I'd plant my baby inside of her. Yeah, that's right. I now had a brand-new kink—a breeding one.

And while I did all that, I wouldn't be sharing any part of me with anyone else. My heart, mind, soul, and body would be only hers. My cock would only ever need or want her. I'd gone from an uncommitted, non-monogamous man to a totally committed and absolutely monogamous man. She was mine and I was hers. I'd do everything I had to in order to make her see it, accept it, and to fall for me like I'd already fallen for her.

A whimper came from her. It wasn't one of distress, though. It was one of desire. I was experienced enough to know the difference. I groaned when her hands threaded into the hair on the back of my head. The slight bite of her nails in my scalp made my cock grow harder. Sliding my hands from her neck, I worked them behind her shoulders and lower back. When I had a good hold, I lifted her, spun us around then sat down, bringing her down to straddle my lap. As she did, she writhed on me, which ground her groin into mine. She cried out in my mouth and pressed down on my aching cock harder.

As we kept kissing, I ran a hand up to cup her tit through her thin t-shirt. I squeezed. I wasn't able to feel as much as I wanted, though. I needed bare skin. Letting go, I moved my hand down, then underneath the hem of her shirt to push it up. This time, I pushed her bra cup out of the way before I enclosed her firmness in my palm. Her taut nipple dug into the center of my palm. I squeezed, then plucked it hard between my forefinger and thumb. She tore her mouth away from mine to cry out and throw back her head.

I groaned. "Fuck, Tajah, I need this off. I need to see and taste you."

Her eyes were closed. She didn't answer me, but she did nod her head yes. I didn't wait for more. I worked off her shirt then her bra. As the last piece fell to the floor, I took in the beautiful sight in front of me. Her ivory skin against my very tan hand was mesmerizing. Her pale pink nipple was so hard and begged for my mouth. I gripped both of her mounds in my hands, kneading them, then I leaned forward to suck a nipple into my mouth. I lashed it hard with my tongue.

"Oh God," she murmured hoarsely.

I already knew from the kiss and this, that she was super responsive and would submit beautifully to me. However, this wasn't about playing. That would come later. This was about pure need. I didn't neglect her other tit as I sucked on the first one. Wanting to gauge her response to pain just a tiny bit, I bit down on her nipple and tugged. I made it hard enough to be somewhat painful, but not agonizingly bad. It had to stay more in the pleasure zone than the pain zone.

She moaned loud and long and pushed herself deeper into my mouth. I wanted to shout for joy, but I didn't want to stop or let go, so I merely growled. Not wanting her to get sore, I switched sides. She moaned and rubbed her sweet, luscious body against me. Her short-clad groin was grinding hard on my zipper. I had a monster of an erection happening in my pants. And that monster wanted out to play. It needed her anyway it could get her, even if it was just her hand. I felt like I might explode any second, and I didn't want to do it in my jeans or without her touching me. Would she do it?

I had to let go to ask her. As crazy as she was making me, I still held on to enough reason to know I had to ask her. I had to have her permission. Even if we weren't fully into a scene or anything, I had to start with the basic tenant I lived by.

"Tajah, my Dove, I need you."

"H-how do you need me?" she panted.

"Anyway you'll let me. I want nothing more than to strip you bare and feast on your body until we both come to completion, in whatever form you allow it to take, but I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for. God it's hard not to try. You've got me so damn close. I don't know what to do. It's never been like this since I was a damn teenager," I admitted.

Instead of her saying something, she answered me with her actions. She reached down and rubbed her palm over my bulge, causing zaps of pure, painful pleasure to streak up my cock and into my low belly. I groaned and pressed up, so I was tighter against her hand. I guess I was coming in my pants after all.

Suddenly, her fingers were fumbling around, then I felt her tug on my zipper. Jesus, was she doing what I thought she was? What I hoped she would? Her hard tug lowered my zipper. Even though I was still in my pants, there was a bit of relief. Or there was until she snaked her hand under my underwear and grasped me in her palm. I growled loudly. She stroked me. Her eyes were staring into mine. They were filled with heat, passion, and more.

I may have only known her a month, but I knew she felt something more than lust for me. She wasn't the kind of woman to have sex with a man, not even the mild stuff we were doing, unless she felt something. I prayed it meant she was at least partially falling in love with me. There was no way I could have her then let her walk away. I needed to slow this down and make sure she understood this.

"Baby, wait. We need to talk."

"No, we don't. I don't want to stop," she pleaded.

"I don't either, believe me, but we have to. Look at me and listen, please. This is important."

She reluctantly did as I asked, but her hand stayed wrapped around my cock. I left my hand on her tit. "Okay, I'm listening, but hurry."

I chuckled. "You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear you say that. I need to be sure you understand what it means if you give yourself to me. Okay? It means you're mine. No one else will touch you, instruct you, and they sure as fuck won't have anything to do with bringing you pleasure. I'll be your Dom and we'll work on what it means to be my sub. Exclusivity is the game. I don't share."

I saw a look of doubt come over her. She eased her grip. I wanted to tell her not to. I let go of her. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted this. Wanted me."

"I do, but why're you doing this? I know what you think of me. I'm not your type. I'm too vanilla. You say you don't share, but I'd be expected to share you. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I can't do this," she said brokenly, as she tried to stand up so she could move off me. I quickly moved my hands so I could grab her hips and hold her still against me.

"My Sweet Dove, what the hell are you talking about? You're not my type? Vanilla? What're you talking about? I don't think that about you. As for sharing myself with others, I never said that."

"Yes, you did. Don't lie. I heard you and that woman talking. The one who wants you back. She said I couldn't satisfy you and I wasn't your type. You agreed with her, Mikhail. I heard you," she accused.

My confusion instantly cleared up, then another realization came to me. This had to be why she left last night without seeing me, and why she had been refusing to talk to or see me. She'd overheard what Tessa said in my office. I hated that she had and it caused her pain, but I was relieved it was something I could easily explain. I nodded my head.

"You're right. I did say you aren't the kind of woman I'd play games with and you're nothing like her." She stiffened in my hands. I continued. I could see her shutting down on me.

"However, you misunderstood what I meant. Tessa is my former sub partner. We broke up four or so months ago. It was never more than a transaction, I guess you'd call it, between us. She needed a Dom to play with and I needed a submissive. It was a mutual parting of ways. Last night, Reuben let her into my office, thinking I needed to let loose and she was the ideal person to do it with. She did say things about you not being the woman for me, but you didn't stay long enough to hear me tell her to leave and there would be nothing between us again."

"Even if you did, what she said is true. I'm nothing special. I don't know anything about your lifestyle other than the theory of what you've told me. How can you want to be with me when you can have her or plenty of other women who know how to be your sub? You said you don't want me to play games with."

"Not the kind of games where we're performing like it's a transaction, only for mutual gratification and nothing else. I don't want that with you. I want it to mean much more than casual. It's got to be more than exploring and sex between us, Tajah. I'm looking for long term here."

She stared at me in disbelief. What did I have to say or do to get her to believe me? I was beginning to panic. What if I couldn't? The thought of her walking away filled me with terror. Finally, she said something. "Long term? What does that mean? Wait, it doesn't matter. You said you won't share, well, neither will I. That's non-negotiable for me, so you should take Tessa up on her offer."

She tried to jerk her hips out of my grasp, but I held onto her and jerked her, until she fell against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her to hug her tightly to me. "I don't fucking want Tessa. I want you. I never said I wanted you to be only mine, but I would continue to be with other women. This would be a two-way street in that regard. Do you know how long it's been since I did a scene or had sex with a woman?"

"No, and I don't want to know. I don't want to know who you've been playing with this past month. The fact you have been shows me you're not ready for something monogamous."

"I haven't touched anyone this past month! How can I when all I can think about is you, and you're the only woman I want? I've been walking around in so much need, it's a wonder I can walk. My cock is raw from all the hand jobs I've given myself to thoughts of you. I haven't been with a woman since Tessa and I broke up. No one interested me until I met you. You've got me on fire, woman. My inner beast wants out so badly. He goes crazy whenever you're near."

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. She closed and opened it a couple of times before she could speak. "Are you serious? No one in months? I don't understand what you see in me. And what do you mean by your inner beast?"

It was time to confess a big part of me. We'd spoken in general about various kinks over the weeks, and I'd confessed I was a voyeur, but I hadn't told her any of my other ones. Here went everything.

"Yes, I'm serious. What I see in you is an intelligent, independent woman who has an underlying submissive hiding inside her. One who will be mine to guide and please if you give me your control. I'm not looking for someone I can command twenty-four seven. I need someone who has the qualities you have. As for my beast, it's my major kink. Remember when we talked about primal hunters?"

Her eyes widened as it registered what I was telling her. She slowly nodded her head. "Yeah, I remember. They like to focus on raw feelings and actions that are part of their natural impulses and urges, right?"

"Yes, that's right. I'm a primal hunter. I need to hunt, baby, but never to harm. Please know that. As a primal, I have to prove I'm worthy to have my sub.We use the term prey but not in a negative way. You control the experience, just like you would in all other types of play. As my prey, I need you to trust me to meet all your needs and that you have nothing to worry or think about. You can let go. We display animalistic behaviors, like wrestling and hair pulling. We can growl, scratch, sniff, lick, chase, and even take down our submissive. We love it when you resist us, fight back, or even run. Using your hair, nails, teeth, and skin are a must. The one thing it will never include is actually harming you. There will be scratches, bruises, and even bite marks, but nothing severe enough to truly harm you. Remember those bruises Dominus put on you?"

She nodded.

"I wasn't just angry that he forced himself on you and manhandled you against your will. It pissed me off he did it and left marks, when the only marks on you should be the ones I give you during our play. Ones you want. The arnica cream I gave you and I insisted you let me apply the first time was me giving you aftercare."

I'd explained aftercare to her the first week, too. It had to coexist with power and aggression, like we experienced in the kink world. If a Dom didn't do it, then he or she wasn't upholding part of their responsibilities. It was crucial before, during, and after sex. It was the time and attention we gave each other to wrap up our play and make sure the other was safe and comfortable. By allowing me to give it to her, she was fulfilling my needs, too. I had a need to be a caregiver. There would be times I'd want care from her in return.

"It was? But you didn't even know me, Mikhail."

"I know. And I never had such a strong urge to take care of someone, not even someone who was my sub. That need was what made me start to think you were what I've spent my life waiting for, even though I didn't know it."

"I want to be sure we're talking about the same things here. When you say monogamy and long-term, what does that mean to you?" she asked.

"Tell me first, what does it mean to you?"

"Monogamy is kinda obvious. Neither of us would play or have sex with anyone but each other. Flirting isn't allowed or watching someone with sexual interest in my definition. You can cheat in more ways than just by having sex. Pointing out someone else's attractiveness and comparing your partner to them in a negative way is a no. Long term is hard to define. The hope is always you'll go into a relationship and it'll turn out to last a lifetime, but it rarely does. I know this first hand. So I guess it's a relationship we see ourselves, hopefully, in for months, if not years to come."

"We'll go back and talk about a couple of the things you mentioned, but let me tell you what it all means to me. I agree with every point you made about monogamy. And you need to know, I would never flirt or show interest in another woman in thought or behavior. As for long term, I've never used that term until now. For me, it means I want this to last forever, and we'd have every aspect of that kind of relationship in the traditional sense."

"Every aspect? Traditional?"

"Yeah, a formal Dom/sub relationship, along with marriage and kids, if you want them. We'd share every part of our lives in and out of the bedroom."

"Wow, I don't know what to say. You've surprised me. Maybe I should get dressed, so we can talk about this more. I don't want us to make a mistake, and we jumped into getting hot and heavy without talking first."

The last thing I wanted to do was stop, but I understood the need, so I nodded. I watched as she got up and found her bra and top, then put them on. While she did, I adjusted myself and zipped up, while I tried to think boring thoughts, so my erection would go away. I knew watching her get dressed wasn't helping matters, but I couldn't seem to look away. Once she was clothed, I gestured for her to come back to me. When she did, I gently pulled her down on my lap. I cuddled her close. I needed physical contact with her, even if it wasn't sex. She placed her head on my chest.

I rubbed my hand up and down her arm. "Talk to me. What else do you want to clear up?"

"For one, how can you be so sure you want this with me? Secondly, how do you see our Dom/sub relationship being defined? Would we have a contract? How much say would I have in the terms? If it isn't working for either or both of us, can we renegotiate it or once we commit, that's it? What other kinds of kinks are you into? What if there are things I don't want to do but you do?"

I could hear an edge of panic in her voice. I knew I had to tread carefully yet be totally honest with her. Telling her lies or evading answers would only blow up in our faces later. Communication was key and along with it respect, which would help lead to trust.

"I can't tell you one hundred percent how I know I want this with you and no one else. I told you how you affect me, and that I've never truly thought along the lines of permanent and monogamous ever before. That's part of it, but there's also this deep-in-my-gut feeling, telling me this is meant to be. I guess you might call it faith. I'm willing to put in every effort to make sure it works between us, and I want the same commitment from you. As for how our relationship will be defined, we negotiate it together and put it in an actual written contract we agree to and sign. It's not legally binding, but it is still binding to us. If we find something isn't working, either of us can ask to renegotiate. It's not set in stone or one-sided.

"As for what kind of kinks am I into and what if you don't want some of it and I do? Let me answer the second part of that first. We'll discuss hard and soft limits and safe words. If it's a hard no, then we don't do it. Soft ones we'll stop, discuss for as long as it's needed, before deciding whether to do it or not. Now, let's talk about my kinks. You know about the main one, my primal one and that I'm a voyeur. Obviously, I'm a Dom. The other main things I enjoy are impact play, bondage, anal, role-playing, and orgasm control. Others I've tried and either don't need or I'm willing to discuss. Do any of those scare you outright that you think they're a hard no? I want you to be honest with me."

"Most of the ones you mentioned I'll admit, they make me nervous. I've never really done most of them which makes me lame, I bet, however it doesn't mean I'm not curious. It was my curiosity about them, which led me to wanting to write my series and to bug Carver to get me into the House of Lustz. I just have no idea if I'll enjoy them or not. I'm worried you'll get bored teaching me, even if I discover I like them. And how can I know if something is a hard limit if I've never done it? I mean, some are no-brainers for me. No cutting or burning me, things like that."

"I suggest we start with the things you know you'll like or are willing to do, then move on to those that are a maybe and find out. If we start something and you change your mind, all you have to do is say your safe words. I won't force you to endure something, Tajah. Doing that kills trust and neither of us will be happy or satisfied. The scarier ones, we can decide if you want to try over time, as you get comfortable with us.

"As for your worry I'll get bored teaching you, that's not possible. I've been finding myself fantasizing about teaching you so much, which is new for me. I've always been someone who stuck to experienced subs and women who know firsthand, at least, some about the lifestyle. In your case, I don't care if you only have the theory as you call it. It just means you're all mine, which I love the thought of." I couldn't help but let a low rumbling growl loose at the thought. I began to get hard again, just thinking about it.

The way she blushed and darted her eyes up to mine told me she felt it. I grinned as I adjusted her around to press against her ass more. "Mikhail, stop it!"

"I can't help it. You do this to me and I can't control when or what does it. Fuck, at the club the other night, the smell of your damn shampoo had me imagining holding fistfuls of your hair, as I fed you my cock. I had to hide behind you until it went away."

She moaned softly. I couldn't resist licking up her neck to her ear where I nibbled softly. I blew a puff of air along the wet trail I left behind. She shivered. "I want to lick, bite, suck, touch, scratch, and so much more, every square inch of you. I want to chase you and have you fight me until you submit. Being primal can be rough, but it doesn't always have to be. There are parts of it which aren't. And afterward, I'll pamper you so good. I want to feel you come on my tongue, my hands, and my cock. Toys will be a part of our love life, too. Please say yes. Tell me you'll come on this journey with me. Even though I'm experienced, I have no doubt I'll learn many things, too."

The ideas running through my head were making me almost sweat, and I was fully hard. She wiggled herself to face me more, which made me moan. She gave me a sexy smile. I opened my mouth when she nipped my bottom lip with her teeth. She slipped her tongue inside, and it parried with mine until she withdrew it. I tried to chase it but she shook her head.

"Do we have to wait until we make our contract and all that before we can do more of this? Or take care of that?" She wiggled her ass on my straining erection as she asked.

I let out a snarling sound which made her eyes widen. I stood with her clutched to my chest. That was the last straw. I had to have her naked in my arms. If she only wanted to taste each other, I'd take it. She could jack me off or suck me dry. I didn't care, but I'd make damn sure she came more than once.

"Where's your bedroom?"

"Last door on the right," she said breathlessly.

I didn't waste time striding down there. I kicked the door shut then carried her to the bed where I laid her down. She was breathing hard, just like me. I didn't waste time taking off my shirt, shoes, and socks.