Chapter 4

chapter

four

Caroline

ME: I am so angry with y'all.

Gracie: Oh, have you met him already?

Kelsie: OMG! Isn't he the hottest?

Gracie: He's like bakery porn.

ME: First of all, bakery porn is not a thing.

ME: Secondly, have y'all lost your minds?

ME: Nothing he does is sanitary. He's not a professional. He's, he's disgraceful, and now I'm supposed to partner with him and work with him.

ME: Y'all could have warned me. You could have told me months ago, but did you? Oh, no, let's see what happens when Caroline gets ambushed by the producer on national television.

Kelsie: I'm sure it's not that bad, Caroline.

Kelsie: He is a professional. He does know what he's doing.

Gracie: He just does this for show.

Gracie: It's not like he's in his family's bakery without his shirt and rubbing his hands all over the cookies.

Kelsie: Gracie, behave.

ME: I don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't cook with that man. He'll be distracting

ME: And dirty.

Gracie: What kind of dirty are you talking about?

ME: Seriously, Gracie. I am freaking out over here.

Gracie: It was a genuine question. But okay, how can we help?

Kelsie: What did you tell the host?

ME: You mean after she ambushed me with one of his videos?

Kelsie: Yes, exactly.

ME: I told her that I didn't think what he was doing was sanitary, and that he didn't seem very professional, and that I had no idea who he was. Bad Boy of Bakery, The Bad Boy of Baking, whatever the hell his name is.

ME: So now all of America will see that I'm an idiot who clearly doesn't look at the internet.

Gracie: I love you so damn much.

Kelsie: I'm sorry we didn't warn you, but your authentic reaction will make for good television.

Gracie: Plus, there was a good chance you wouldn't go if you knew who your partner was.

ME: Exactly. Because his online schtick is pure nonsense. It's asinine. It is not at all what this competition is supposed to be about. I'm supposed to win over the Texas Monthly judge so that we can get our bakery in the magazine.

Gracie: And you're supposed to win that prize money so that you can finally pay back the dragons and move out.

Gracie: Technically, you could move out tomorrow and live with me. Just want to remind you of that.

ME: I know, and I so appreciate it. We've been over this. I can't leave until my debt is paid.

Kelsie: We'll support you, but I will never agree with you staying in that house. Those two old biddies are mean as snakes. They do not deserve to be in the same room as you.

Gracie: And you know people that mean, they live for freaking ever. My Uncle Larry was a hundred and two when he finally died. Meanest man I ever met.

Kelsie: True story.

ME: How do I handle meeting him? Working with him?

ME: Despite the fact that I don't want to admit this, y'all know I freeze up around super attractive men. I don't know why, it's not like I think they're flirting with me. It's weird.

Kelsie: And there will be cameras documenting everything.

ME: Yep.

Kelsie: You go in there and be yourself. You are an amazing baker. You are creative and exacting and smart and beautiful.

Gracie: That's right! Get in there and girl boss him. Put him in line. Or maybe get him in bed.

Kelsie: Gracie!

Gracie: What? It was only a suggestion.

ME: That is not going to happen for so many reasons.

Gracie: Fair enough. But he's stupid hot so I'm gonna need details and maybe some pictures

ME: You are not even a little bit helpful.