42. Valentina

Chapter 42

Valentina

S unday breakfast comes and I feel both out of place and happy in a way I never dreamed I could at this point in my life.

Ronan’s confession keeps playing through my head. He loves me. He really loves me, and I love him. The moment he said those words, everything I’ve been feeling lately snapped into an intense and overwhelming focus. I’ve been so afraid of losing him that I haven’t really stopped to think why .

It’s because I love him. And I told him that a few times that night.

I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t see it sooner, but in my defense, I’ve been kind of distracted.

He’s right though. I’m not moving out, and it’s time we stopped pretending. But that doesn’t make this morning any easier.

“You sure this is okay?” I ask him as we head up to his mother’s house together. There are already half a dozen cars parked in the street.

“It’s fine.” He holds my hand and squeezes. “I talked to my mother last night and explained things to her. It’ll be fine.”

“So, I guess that means—” I hesitate as a wave of nervous energy trickles down my spine. “Everyone knows now, huh?”

“More or less, yeah, everyone knows. Including Cormac and them, I’d bet.”

“Which won’t exactly do much for your cause.”

“Fuck my cause.” He pulls me against him and kisses me right there in front of the door. “You look good.”

I smile a little. “Don’t get excited, okay? That’d be a bad look.”

“I’m always excited around you.” He squeezes my ass and gives me that cheeky smirk of his. It used to drive me crazy, and it still does—but now I sort of like it too.

“Hands to yourself.” I swat him away as we head inside together.

Part of me expected one of these scenes from a movie where the room stops talking and stares at the new arrivals. Instead, it’s like nothing out of the ordinary just showed up. The uncles are in front of the TV watching soccer and they greet Ronan cheerfully. I expect them to ignore me, but everyone that comes up and bumps Ronan’s fist or shakes his hand proceeds to kiss me on the cheek like we’ve been doing this our whole lives. “Morning, Valentina,” Uncle Joseph says and pats my arm affectionately.

It’s completely bizarre. Up to this point, the men here basically ignored me, except for when we were working on a new job. They were mostly polite, but there was no warmth in their greetings.

Now, they’re acting like I actually belong in this room.

“Ah, there they are.” Ronan’s mother walks over and hugs her son. She gives me a kiss on the cheek too. “I was wondering when you’d show up.”

“I’m right on time, as always.” Ronan casts a weary look around. “Anyone new show up?”

His mother’s expression clouds. “No, nobody. But you have some folks waiting to speak with you.”

Ronan nods and looks ten years older. “Give me five minutes then start sending them in.”

“I’ll tell Niall.” His mother takes my arm. “Meanwhile, I have some work for your girl here.”

Ronan’s smile returns as he winks at me and walks off to his office.

“Thanks for the nice welcome, Mrs. Hayes,” I say as Ronan’s mother steers me into the kitchen.

“I’m Deirdre, dear, since you’re a part of this family now.” She tosses a dish towel at me and parks me in front of a sink filled with dirty dishes. “And as such, you are now responsible for cleanup.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Hear that, Deirdre?” another of the aunts says with a laugh. She’s got white hair and a good smile. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, and you put the girl on dish duty!”

“Ah, stop that, Roslin.” Deirdre swats at the woman, who must be her sister-in-law. She looks very similar to Ronan, or at least they have the same nose. “I’d have her cooking but it’s quiet around here right now, so there’s not much else to be done.”

“Fair point.” Roslin gives me a frown and leans against the stove. “The big boss say anything to you about what’s going on?”

“Don’t you start pushing the girl for information.” Deirdre glares at Roslin. “We all know the score, and that’s that.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t think I can tell either of you anything you don’t already know.” I shrug, feeling helpless, but both older women are smiling like they’re just having a nice bit of banter.

“All right, back to work, all of you.” A third woman comes into the room. She’s larger than the others and has an apron over her sweatsuit. “I’ve got another pie to make.”

“You and your pies, Maggie.” Roslin rolls her eyes. “They’re not that good, you know.”

“How dare you.” Maggie puts her hands on her hips. “Says the woman that ate an entire pumpkin pie to herself last night.”

“I was hungry and I didn’t even enjoy it.” Roslin raises her chin haughtily.

The aunts start bickering and laughing as I start cleaning the dishes. I’m smiling and offering comments here or there, mostly when they ask me things since I don’t have the same comfort level as they do, but I start to feel at ease around them. More aunts come and go, mostly to heat up food or to stack more dishes, and a few of them stop to give me their name and how they’re related to everyone else, which Deirdre makes clear will not be tested anytime soon.

“But it will be tested eventually!” Maggie says with a cackle.

An hour passes like rainwater down a roof shingle. I expected to feel awkward or uncomfortable, but instead it’s like I’ve been doing this my whole life—and in some ways, I have. This isn’t all that different from what things were like back before my father got killed. I like it here in the kitchen listening to these women who have known each other all their lives talking and laughing together, keeping the family going behind the scenes.

It’s happy and it’s good. I know they’re only treating me like this because Ronan told his mother that we’re together, and maybe he even told her that we’re in love, but it doesn’t really matter what their motives are. I’m here in this kitchen with a job to do, and for the first time in way, way too long, I feel like I belong.

Tears spring to my eyes. I try to blink them away, but Deirdre’s talking to me about how one of the nephews thinks he’s going to be a professional baseball player but actually he kind of sucks and is totally delusional. “Oh, honey,” she says, putting a hand on my arm. “Sweetie, it’s okay, Tommy’s just an idiot. He’ll figure out that he’s no good eventually. He doesn’t even like baseball that much.”

“No, it’s not that. God, I’m sorry, this is embarrassing.” I wipe my eyes with the dish towel. It smells like soap and detergent.

“Don’t feel embarrassed.” Deirdre rubs my back and pats my shoulder. “Honestly, it’s very stressful around here. We’re doing our best to keep from tearing up too.”

“Lord knows I cry enough at home,” Roslin says, completely matter of fact.

“Bawled my eyes out this morning, thinking about those stupid boys,” Maggie agrees, nodding her head.

“We all understand.” Deirdre smiles at me, so kind and gentle, and god, that only makes it worse.

I cry in earnest. Shit, this is so stupid. The women flock around and make me sit as they get me water and calm me down. I’m absolutely mortified, but eventually I get it together enough that I can try to explain. “It’s just, I miss my family,” I say and that gets nods all around.

“It’s all right, dear,” Deirdre says, looking sympathetic. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“And you’re all being nice to me, and I just—” I take a deep breath and blow it out. “I just miss home, but this is nice too.”

“It’s all right,” Roslin says, deadpan, and I laugh. I can’t help it. That’s exactly something one of my father’s Capos would’ve said.

That breaks the tension. The women go back to work and give me a moment to gather myself before I’m back on my feet. Once the pile of dishes is done, Maggie commandeers me for baking duty, and even though I’m keeping busy, I don’t feel like I’m working, because there’s warmth and joy in this little kitchen, and that’s more than I’ve had in a very long time.