41. Ronan

Chapter 41

Ronan

T hat felt fucking wrong on so many levels.

The Hayes Group isn’t above making political marriages. During my father’s tenure, he sent off several female cousins to marry influential and important members of Chicago’s elite society. Those connections have been nothing but beneficial for the Group as a whole, and they’re big reasons why we can move our drugs all over the place without the cops breathing down our necks.

But normally, the people involved are vetted first. My father would sit down with the prospective bride and tell her everything about the groom in detail, and he’d make sure he got full consent from her and her family before moving forward with the deal. If one cousin didn’t want it, there’d be another—lucky for him, Irish Catholic families enjoy having lots and lots of kids. Meaning there’s a steady supply of bodies.

He’d also know why everyone involved wanted to go through with it. Female cousins could look forward to a rich husband and a big jump up in society plus security for their children and their immediate family. Potential grooms got a decent wife with some good business connections and the knowledge that the Hayes Group will forever be a part of their family, especially after kids are involved.

With Julien, I have no fucking clue why he’d want to marry one of the Hayes girls, and that bothers me.

“You don’t look happy,” Valentina says to me later that night. She’s sitting on my couch with some wine while I pace around the kitchen, pretending to be busy but mostly just brooding.

“This is going to be a massive mistake.”

She watches me with those clever, beautiful eyes of hers. “Why’s that? Just because you don’t like Julien anymore?”

“Julien’s fine.” I wave away her concern. “We had a disagreement, but it’s cleared up. The problem is I don’t know why he wants to marry someone in my family, and without knowing that, I can’t get real informed consent from any of his potential matches.”

Valentina’s lips pull into a frown. “You can just tell them that, right? And besides, you know why Julien wants it. This is always about business.”

“You already offered him a great deal on a steady product supply. The wife is something else, and I don’t understand it.” I grab a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and pour myself a drink. “It’s frustrating, that’s all.”

“Do you want me to do some digging and see if I can figure out what Julien’s up to?”

“I don’t want you in any more danger.” I sit next to her and put a hand on her thigh.

“I’m in the clear now, remember? Julien’s not trying to kill me anymore.” She licks her lips and looks away. “I could go home.”

I hesitate, hand still on her leg, and watch her carefully. “Is that something you want?” I ask, aware of the strange flutter in my heart.

“It wasn’t supposed to be forever when I came here, right? I don’t want to impose on you. I feel like I’ve already taken a lot.”

“You’ve given back plenty.” My grip on her leg tightens. All at once, emotions flood me. I picture my house without her: quiet, cold, and empty. I don’t want that, not even a little bit.

And it’s not just about having another person here. If I needed any company, I’d get a fucking roommate. It’s about her , about waking up with her in my bed, going to sleep with her at night, laughing at her jokes and teasing her until she gets all mad then making her make up with me afterward. It’s about the sex, but also about the way I can tell her anything without feeling like I’m burdening her. It’s about wanting her to burden me with all her problems, just so I can make her feel a little bit lighter.

“I don’t know. I’m scared about this Cormac stuff. I don’t like that we had to get Julien involved, and I’m just—I’m afraid for you, Ronan.”

I lean toward her and tilt her chin in my direction. “It’s going to be okay, love. No matter what happens, none of this was your fault. If anything, you’ve made my life easier.”

“How’s that?”

“You brought in business when we desperately needed a win. Not all our plans went smoothly, but the chop shop and Rocco’s club are both profitable and going well so far. That’s more than enough.”

She shifts her position and leans closer to me. “I’m just saying, I can go back to my place and we don’t have to worry about this anymore.” She gestures between us.

“I’m not worried about it.” I take one of her hands. “You’re staying with me, and we aren’t hiding it anymore.”

Her eyes widen a fraction. “Ronan?—”

“Listen to me. My family’s in chaos right now. Cormac stole my product and he’s threatening to hurt anyone associated with me. Even Seamus went with him, and that breaks my fucking heart.” I grind my jaw for a moment to keep from snarling with frustration. I knew Cormac had his hooks in Seamus, I just had hoped that I’d earned Seamus’s trust back. Apparently, that didn’t happen.

“Which is why I should go.”

“No, love, all of that is why you should stop and you should stay.”

“I’m a burden. I’m just a problem.” She blinks rapidly, eyes going shiny with tears.

I lean forward and kiss the corner of her mouth. “No, love, you aren’t. But that’s the problem. You’re convinced that all of this is somehow your fault, when it’s far from it. What happened with your family was bad, and I’m sorry you’re still carrying that with you, but you don’t have to let it hold you back.”

“It’s just hard. I’ve always felt like—like I’m useless. Like I’m worthless and just more trouble. Even when it was just me and Marco, I spent half the time sitting around and watching reality TV because I couldn’t face up to any real responsibility. These days with you have been some of the best of my life, but I’m afraid I’m just going to bring you down.”

“That’s not going to happen.” I kiss her again, this time on the lips. I wipe a tear that rolls down her cheek. “Listen to me, love. You have a place with me. Do you get that? I need you here, and even if you leave, I won’t let you go. It’s time we stopped pretending.”

“Pretending?” She tilts her chin up, pretty mouth parting.

“That we’re less than what we are.” I kiss her again. This time, I linger. “I want you, Valentina. I want you to be mine , and I want my whole family to know it.”

“Ronan.” She kisses me, hands reaching up to touch my face. “You know what’ll happen, right?”

“I don’t care.”

“They’ll use it against you. They’ll try to hurt you. They’ll use me?—”

“I said I don’t care.” I kiss her, and this time, I let my tongue invade her mouth. She whimpers into my kiss as I drag her into my lap. Her legs spread as she straddles me, and I cup her ass with both hands, pulling her tight against me as I kiss her. I love her mouth, her lips, that tongue, the way she moans as I touch her and explore her body.

I hate how much she worries. It’s so obvious she blames herself over and over for anything bad that happens and really internalizes all that pain. What happened with her family was terrible—but I’m not in that same situation, and she can’t possibly be held liable for anything going down with Cormac.

I pull her top off and kiss her neck as I tease her breasts. I suck her nipples until she’s panting hard, her hips gyrating, grinding against my hard cock. I fist her hair and kiss her hard.

“I need you here with me, love,” I whisper as I bite her lower lip. I move back to her breasts, rolling my tongue around one hard bud. “I don’t want you to go anywhere. I hate that you think you’re a burden. You’re not, love. You’re far from it.”

She gasps as I turn her and pin her down on the couch. I pull off her pants, kissing her stomach, her hips, her belly button, down to her thighs. She moans as she spreads her legs, and I tease her pussy slowly with my fingers. I sink them inside, rubbing my thumb up against her clit as I fill her.

“Tell me you want to stay,” I command. “Say it, baby.”

“I want to stay,” she moans. “God, I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“Because you love it when I touch you. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, god, yes.” Her back arches and she stares at me. It’s without a doubt the sexiest look I’ve ever seen on a woman before. Her eyes are filled with lust, but also with confidence, like she knows this is the right thing.

I slide my fingers deeper, teasing. “You want me to make you come, don’t you, love?”

“I want you to keep going,” she says, eyes rolling back.

I drop between her legs. My tongue slides up and down her pussy before I lick and suck her clit. My fingers go deeper, making her back arch as I lick her. I need this, need to make her feel good, need to make sure she understands that she has a place with me now.

I need her to know that she’s mine.

Her fingers dig into my hair. I fuck her with my fingers as I suck her clit, and her moans and gasps of pleasure drive me fucking crazy as I go faster and faster. Her body twitches and spasms, and her voice gets loud as she comes, big and messy and beautiful. I lick her up before pulling back.

“Good girl,” I say, taking off my pants. “Good fucking girl. Look at you, dripping wet, pink skin, all flushed and beautiful. You want me, don’t you, love?”

“Yes,” she says, mouth hanging open.

I stroke myself once I’m naked. She sits up, too greedy to help herself, and takes my cock in her mouth. “Fuck,” I moan as she licks me and sucks my tip. “You look so fucking good like that, baby.” She takes me deeper and I groan. I don’t know how long I can last with her taking me into her throat like she wants to fucking swallow me.

I push her back down and tease her slit with my head before sliding myself deep inside.

Her back arches into me. I kiss her, bury her mouth with mine, as I slowly stroke deeper. Our bodies come together, tight and wet and perfect, and I lose all control. I’m tired of holding back, tired of hiding, tired of pretending. She’s mine , and I’m not letting go.

I fuck her like it’s the last time, but it’s also the first time. The decision to own this crystallizes in my mind. I fuck her deep, take her the way she needs, stroke her hard as her moans get louder and faster. “Messy fucking girl,” I whisper. “Grind that wet pussy into me, baby, and come until you can’t breathe. Come on, love, I want to feel it. Come on my big dick.”

“Shit,” she groans and bites my shoulder. Her back arches as she rolls into me, and I fuck her harder, deeper, until her eyes close and she comes with a look of pure bliss on her face.

I keep going. I can’t help myself. I fill her again and again, spreading her wide, making her mine, until I explode deep between her legs. Bliss fills my head, and we end up tangled together on the couch, both of us breathing hard as we try to regain some composure.

“Can’t do that if you go home,” I say, grinning to myself. I bury my face in her hair and breathe deep. “You should stay.”

“I should stay… just so you can fuck me?”

“And because I want you to.”

“Well, since you put it that way, how can I possibly say no?”

I laugh softly and kiss her neck. “I’m going to tell my mother tomorrow that you’re living with me.”

Valentina’s quiet for a little while. I let her absorb that bit of information. It probably feels like a lot to her. “Why your mother?” she asks finally.

“She’ll spread it all over the family, and if she’s okay with it, everyone else will be too.”

“And… you think she’ll be okay with it?”

“Absolutely.”

“Why? I mean, she barely knows me.”

I sit up so she can see my face. “My mother will approve simply because I love you.”

I feel so fucking vulnerable. I’ve never said those words to a woman before, but they’ve also never been true until now. This thing with Valentina isn’t a fling; it’s not just some short affair I’m having with a pretty Italian girl.

It’s more real than I ever could have imagined.

“You really mean that?” she whispers, eyes blinking away tears.

“I mean it. I love you, Valentina.” I kiss her softly. “That’s why you’re staying here.”

She buries her mouth on mine. “I love you too,” she manages to say before kissing me hard and holding it there. We stay on the couch like that for a while, and I don’t feel the need to move, not with Valentina in my arms and her name on my lips.

This is what I’ve needed—this right here gives me focus and purpose in a way I never dreamed possible.

I need to fix my family. It might never be the same as it was before, but that’s okay. I have to make things right, because no matter what, I need to make Valentina happy.

And giving her a new family is the best way to do it.