6. Lightened Up

6

LIGHTENED UP

LIVVIE

T ori had nothing but a smile for me as I arrived late to work. Not cool for only my second week as a waitress at Aunt Minnie’s Pie Shop. “Sorry again for being late. River was tired and grumpy and hard to get moving out the door for school this morning,” I explained.

“No problem. We had a steady stream of customers and we were able to keep up. Besides, I recall those days when Porsche was younger.” She sighed, untying her apron. “Now, my teenager practically takes care of herself. She’s become so independent. I miss how much she used to need me.”

Tori, so far, won the award for the best boss in my book, but truthfully, I could only compare her to my father. A rock would have been better than him, too.

As we got to know each other, we found common ground in the fact we were outsiders, both new to Kissing Springs. She’d only arrived in town not long before I did, and was able to fill me in on certain people, things to do, and places to go.

I had to be careful talking about St. Louis, though. While she was from Las Vegas, she’d spent considerable time in Chicago, St. Louis, and other midwestern locations. I’d let it slip that my mother was from Chicago originally and we’d visited her family now and then.

Whenever Tori raved about the Magnificent Mile, the premier shopping district of upscale and designer shops in the Windy City, I forced a nod and a smile, as if agreeing with her how much I missed it, even though I’d never been to the Mile.

Mom’s family was dirt-poor, although we were little better. Where I grew up, my father’s dingy bar and strip club sat on a dirty street corner in one of the least desirable neighborhoods of downtown St. Louis. Generational poverty was the worst, and gang lords ruled. Most of the area’s inhabitants had been a victim of one crime or another.

The only reason I survived was because my father and brothers let the local gang deal drugs out of the back. Other men, too, more powerful than gangs, started calling on Dad and my brothers to “take care of things.” They quickly became known as the enforcers, and no one messed with them. Being related, I was one of the protected. For a while, at least.

I shuddered, blinking away the past, as Tori hung up her apron. “Going somewhere?”

“Just taking a break. Nate came to see me. He brought me flowers, so sweet.” She pointed to a bunch of wildflowers arranged in a mason jar on the counter by the register, one of many mason jars Tori had found in the storage room tucked away that she repurposed into lamps and vases and knickknack holders when she transformed the diner’s decor. With Minnie’s full approval before she left on vacation, of course.

“I thought I’d sit with him for a cup of coffee. We like to peruse the daily edition of the Kissing Sprints Post together. Have to keep up on the latest town events, you know.”

“Oh, of course.” I agreed. Nancy had gotten me hooked, too, reading the online version, which only amounted to less than ten minutes a day. About the most exciting thing it covered were the latest stars in town working with Wild Horses Music. Arguably, the rock star Prima was the biggest of them all, living right here and married to the Chief of Police, Robbie Boyd.

“You’ll be okay for now. Things have slowed. And I’ll be right over there if you need me.” She poured two cups of coffee and I logged my start time on the computer. I would be fine. There was a vast difference between handling the rough crowd at a dive bar versus this cute Main Street diner with sweet local clientele only seeking a good cup of coffee. “Oh, by the way, I think you have an admirer, and I doubt it’s the cinnamon rolls that keep him coming back.”

I followed the nod of her head to where Blake was sitting by the window. He waved. This made the third morning in a row he’d shown up for coffee and a roll. I tweaked my lips, not giving him any hint of the thrill working down my spine upon seeing him.

Tori took off with the coffee mugs. I adored the way Nate stood and kissed her, then held the chair out for her. Such a gentleman. Every single time I’d seen them since I started here, they were the perfect couple, with the nicest teenaged daughter. When Nancy and I stopped by one night with River for the Mac and Cheese Special, Porsche was here and we met her. What a bright girl, and she’d hinted she would love to babysit. I could tell River liked her immediately.

Not that I had any reason to need a sitter right now. I could always rely on Nancy if I had to. After all, River called her Grandma. She did so much for us, and had always been there for me.

After Mom died and everything went downhill with Dad, Nancy, being an old family friend from the neighborhood where she grew up, continued to check in with me. When I ran away from home on one horrific night, her doorstep in St. Louis served as my landing place, taking me and River in without question.

Here, as soon as I could, I’d start paying her a little rent each month. Her house was tiny, with only two bedrooms, though. I let River have the room across from Nancy’s, whereas I took the couch every night. It wasn’t ideal, but eventually I wanted a place of my own.

After stocking things up quickly at the coffee counter, I finally approached Blake, who had been huddling with Robbie in the booth. Their faces appeared serious and intense on whatever the point of conversation was. But when he saw me coming, the officer hopped up to leave.

“Gotta go. Livvie, how’s River? I hope his foray into tree climbing hasn’t been traumatizing.” He tossed a tip on the table; I’d be sure to add it to the tip jar we all split at the end of each shift.

“The only things he talks about are Lucky and Blake, like they’re his two favorites in the world.” Seriously, I couldn’t get him to stop last night during bath time about wanting to see them again.

“Who can blame him? Look at the charming mug on this guy’s face.” Robbie playfully slapped Blake’s cheek, then laughed and got away fast, out of his reach and out the door before Blake could retaliate.

He shook his head, then motioned toward the vacated booth seat. “Can you sit for a minute? I have two things to give you.”

“Give to me? Okay.” After a quick scan of the diner, I sat on the edge, ready to pop up at a moment’s notice if someone walked through the door.

“First, here. I talked to a friend who works at the Kissing Springs Clinic. It’s a paternity test.” He slid forward a slender white box. I gaped at it. “The directions are on the side and simple to follow. Use cotton swabs on the inside of River’s cheek. Deposit them in the tubes. Tighten the lids. If you do it tonight, I can get them from you in the morning and take them right to the lab. We could have results by Friday.”

I’d half hoped he’d forgotten and would just take my word for it that River was his. Considering there were only two people who knew he was the father, me and God, I could understand his need for proof, though.

“That fast? Okay. I’ll try to do this tonight, if he’ll cooperate.”

“Tell him Blake will let him play with Lucky if he does.” The corner of his lips turned up, clearly confident he’d already won my son’s heart. He had, I guess. “And here. I got this for you, too.”

He pushed another box toward me. This one white, with a silver logo on the lid in the shape of an apple. I gasped when I opened it to find a slim rose-colored phone with gold accents.

“I couldn’t let another day go by knowing you don’t have a phone for emergencies or just everyday use. Plus, now you can take a million photos of River all day, every day, and be able to share them with me.”

His heart was in the right place, but… “I know how much these cost. Blake, it’s too extravagant. I can’t accept this.”

“I told you before, you were alone raising my child for the past several years, so I owe you. Unless…” He squinted at me with a dare, like a test he devised. “Unless you’re lying to me. I sincerely hope you aren’t, because after what my ex did to me, lying is an immediate red flag for me with you or anyone else.”

But I wasn’t lying—not about him being River’s father. Other things, though? The things I regret? How could I ever tell him or anyone? Which wasn’t exactly lying, more like hoping to avoid any conversations that would lead to the past so that I didn’t have to lie to cover them up.

I recalled our conversations back in St. Louis from the night we met, every word, every tease, and every joke he cracked making me laugh on my birthday. Especially in bed after we finished, before he fell asleep, when he told me about the cheating and lies from his ex. She hurt him badly, so I could understand his need for honesty.

No matter, because I didn’t come to Kissing Springs expecting to run into him. I definitely had no need to start any kind of relationship where two people shared intimate details of their lives. My life was complicated enough as it was without adding a man into the mix. No. I’d be better off alone, focusing on my son as priority number one.

Still, there was one detail that might set Blake’s mind at ease. “I wouldn’t lie about something like this, Blake. You were the only man in my life at that point. In fact, just to clarify, that night with you was my first time.”

His jaw hit the floor. “You were a virgin?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to, for fear you’d back out. For the first time in my life, I had a night where I was in control. I never intended to remain a virgin, and when I met you, I don’t know. Things felt right. I wanted it with you.”

I let him sit with that a moment and glanced nervously around the shop. Other than Nate and Tori, only one other couple occupied a booth. Beverly, my coworker, was chatting with them and filling their mugs. She mainly handled everything behind the counter, and Connor, our cook, handled the grill and kitchen.

“Guess that explains a lot. I recall how shy you were at first with me in bed. I took my time, warming you up. Figured you liked it nice and slow?—”

I did. Oh, I did, slow and easy as he filled me with his cock and stretched me so good where no man had before. I expected pain. Wasn’t that what every girl said happened the first time? But what I felt with Blake ended up far from it. So good. Of the few men I’d been with since him, none compared.

My cheeks flared, blushing hard as I shifted in my seat and crossed my legs, and tried to stop the ache that inevitably showed up whenever I thought of our one fateful night together.

“If I’d known, I would have done things differently with you, Olivia. Maybe even talked you out of it.” With his elbow on the table, he massaged his forehead with his hand.

“Why? I thought it was perfect exactly how we did it. At least, that’s the way I’ve recalled it all this time. Perfect. You gave me the best birthday present ever, Blake, and as it turned out, River was a bonus.” Our eyes met, and we lingered a long, tender moment there. Not like love, but certainly, I’d always have a soft spot for him as the father of my child. “Even so, I can’t take this phone.”

I pushed the box back to him. He shoved it forward again.

“Yes, you will. And don’t worry. I’m set up to pay the monthly bill. Remember, I intend to make up for the years I missed out on paying child support. Besides, I think it’s vital in this day and age that you have a phone for safety. What if there’d been no one at the rest stop with you? If River had hid like he did, and you couldn’t find him, you’d have had no way to get in touch with the authorities. Olivia, I need to know the two of you are safe at all times.”

His last sentence got to me. No one, other than my mother, and maybe Nancy, ever cared about my safety.

“Also, I took the liberty of pre-installing some useful things. A couple of parenting apps. A recipe index for kid-friendly meals. And a list of the top ten things to do with kids in Kentucky. See here?” He beamed, showing me each thing, like he just handed me the winning ticket to the lottery.

I’d left my old cheap phone behind in St. Louis, as if that was the clean break I needed from the past. I could start over, filling this phone with photos of River because he was growing every day right before my eyes, and something told me Blake wouldn’t take no fr an answer.

“Okay, fine. I’ll accept it. Thank you. This truly means a lot to me.” Before I could take this conversation any further, new customers walked in the door.

“Go on. I have to get to work, too, but hey, we’re still on for the Halloween party soon, right?” He checked in with me.

“Yeah, sure. Although I haven’t given any thought to costumes.”

“Don’t worry. I have that covered, too. You should be getting a box delivered soon.” Why did a cocky smile make an appearance on his face? But it faded when his a radio on the shoulder of his uniform came alive with a call from the dispatcher. “Now I really have to run.”

I nodded, understanding this was part of his job. Yesterday, he had to respond to an emergency call before he even had a chance to down his cinnamon roll.

For the rest of my shift, the weight of the new phone caused my apron to sag heavier around my waist. But somehow, telling Blake the truth about my virginity and our night together lightened my shoulders.