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5. Creamy

5

CREAMY

LIVVIE

M y dad and brothers had always insisted that I wait on them hand and foot, never the other way around. As Blake served us pie, my palms itched like they didn’t know what to do with themselves. I reached for crayons and paper out of my bag to keep River occupied if needed while we talked.

Across the way in the kitchen, Blake in grey sweatpants with tight buns, and a black t-shirt constricting around his biceps, left me breathless, the same response I had seeing him in uniform holding my son at the rest stop. And so long ago in that crowded bar when he wore a crisp white button down, the sleeves folded up on his bronzed forearms and being so sweet to me. His gorgeous looks hadn’t changed much other than a little more maturity around the eyes—and bigger muscles, like he’d hit the gym hard for six years just waiting for us to find each other again.

I forced my lungs to expand again, while other parts of my body had no trouble heating up in his presence. Especially when my mind went crazy with images of his body in bed over mine. The way he took his time with me then, like he knew how inexperienced I was. I wanted a special night to remember… Mm. I’d never forget it.

“A little creamy or a lot?” He posed the question to me. I blushed and squirmed in my seat. Then I realized he held up the whipped cream topping container for the pie.

“I like a lot,” River answered first.

“Remember your manners, sweetie,” I said, and nodded.

“Pleeeze,” he drawled it out.

“Sure thing, buddy. How about you, Olivia? Creamy?”

I nodded again. Yep. It’d been too long since I’d been with anyone.

With a dollop on each slice, he set the plates in front of us and sat across from me at his breakfast nook banquette, with River at the head of it between us.

Averting my gaze from him at last, I took in the surroundings. The house was nicer than anything I’d ever lived in. Probably custom built with a stone and log exterior, white washed boards on the walls inside, and huge double windows rising to a peak at the cathedral ceiling, letting in tons of light. Perfect for the view outside—nothing but pasture and forest as far as I could see.

His furnishings were minimalist at best, though. His black couch and chair and an extra huge big-screen TV took up most of the great room, with a square white coffee table in the middle of it. Given the white and black interior with nothing on the walls and no pillows or decor, I assumed he lived alone—without a woman’s colorful touch around here. A total bachelor pad.

For many reasons, that came as a relief.

All week, I’d been worried if he’d be in a relationship with a woman. Only because I knew my jealousy would rear up if another woman ever claimed my son as hers, like a stepmother might.

“How was your first week at school, River?” Blake must have finished his pie in two bites because he pushed the empty plate forward, giving room for his elbows to rest on the table.

“Good. I made new friends. Jimmy Walker said he has a pet rabbit. I want a pet so bad, but Mom says we can’t afford one.”

“No. I said not right now, sweetie. Maybe someday.” How perceptive my son must be, picking up on my struggles with money, no matter how hard I tried to hide it from him.

“You can come visit Lucky anytime.” On cue, the dog stood at attention at Blake’s side. He ran his hand through the fur while he spoke. “Let’s see, you probably have Mrs. Witham as your teacher for kindergarten, right?”

“How do you know?” With cherry filling smeared down River’s chin, I caught his hand before he wiped it away with the back of it. I pushed a napkin his way from a holder in the center of the table. River giggled at my excessive mothering, and Blake did, too.

I watched the interaction between father and son closely. My dad and brothers hardly took any interest in River, treating him like he was a “bastard child” as Dad was fond of calling him. The night I told them I was pregnant, they almost beat me trying to get the name of the man who impregnated me. Regardless, I never gave up any details about Blake and our special night together.

“I went to school with Mrs. Witham. We go way back. Plus, Lucky and I visit each class a couple of times a year. In fact, we’ll be at yours for the Halloween party. Mrs. Witham throws the best class parties. Lucky is going to dress up, but I don’t have a costume for him yet.”

River gasped, eyes wide. “Dress him like Billy from my favorite TV show.”

“It’s called Chilly, Tilly, and Billy.” I explained the show to Blake briefly. He might as well start learning the things my kid loved if he wanted to be in River’s life.

“Great, I’ll have to tune it in and check it out. Next time you’re here, we’ll watch together on my big TV over there.”

“Yeah! And can we tell my class about how you saved me from the tree, and how you fell and broke your shoulder?” River’s legs swung wildly back and forth under the table. I could tell how worked up he was getting about showing off his hero to the class.

“We can, but how about we keep the fall and my injury to ourselves, okay? And my shoulder was only dislocated. All better now.” Blake rotated his arm in a circle as if to prove it. Then he shifted it into a biceps curl like a strong arm man, giving me plenty to gawk at.

“I’m strong, too. Look.” River mirrored him, curling his tiny arms. My heart soared, witnessing their bonding. Blake’s eyes sparked with a little mischievousness in them, like a little boy himself but in a man’s very nicely sculpted body.

River took his last bite, smiling, chewing, and talking at the same time, while I was simply picking at mine. “Mom, can I go color?”

“Sure. Keep the crayons on the coffee table and not on the floor, please.”

He shot up and hugged Blake’s arm quickly. Like he’d been wanting a hero in his life forever—or a real father. The two of them like that took my breath away yet again. Then off he went to color at the coffee table, with Lucky following.

Did I need a hero, too? Was I ready for the two of them to get closer? I never expected to run into Blake again, prepared to be the only parent for River as my lot in life.

“Cute munchkin.” Blake locked eyes with mine when we were left alone. His held the same friendly, kind, golden hazel quality I noticed when we first met.

“Yeah, he’s gotten so big.” I recovered quickly, back to picking at my pie.

“Do you have photos of him as a baby on your phone you could show me?”

“No phone. But I have an album at home. I could pull a few to show you the next time I run into you.”

“How about tomorrow morning? I could stop in at Minnie’s for coffee and a roll before work. Robbie and Prima told me you got a job there.”

“Yes. Part-time during the day. It’s perfect because I can drop River at school in the morning and pick him up in the afternoon.”

“If you need help with school drop off, I could always?—”

“I’m fine, but thanks.” I was quick to respond. The let down visible in his face, he dropped his eyes to his drumming fingertips.

“Look, I’ll follow your lead, okay? Just tell me what you and River need and I’ll provide. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Whatever it takes to what?”

“To…make up for lost time.”

I knew he was only trying to help, trying to insert himself into our lives, but this would take some getting used to.

He scrubbed at the back of his neck, lowering his voice. “Also, I called a lawyer a few days ago. Of course, he suggested a paternity test as a first course of action. Then we should talk about custody arrangements after that, along with working out what kind of financial support you need.”

“I’ll be okay, Blake. I’m interviewing tomorrow afternoon at a place called Hot Derby Nights. They need a bartender on Fridays and Saturdays. Between the two jobs, I should make ends meet.”

His face scrunched. “Have you ever bartended before?”

To answer this question or not was the real question. I shrugged like it was nothing, even though a bar played an enormous role in my past—that I’d like to forget. “Yes. My father owned a place in St. Louis, so I’ve been around it my entire life.”

“But when I met you at twenty-one, you hadn’t had a drink yet? That’s odd. You never were tempted to sneak a drink with a bar in the family?”

Whoops. I messed up. “My mother was pretty protective of me. Anyway, between the two jobs?—”

“My buddy, Dillon, owns Hot Derby Nights, and it’s one of the businesses that really turned this town around over the past few years. I’m not knocking the dancers and the organization, but I don’t like the idea of you around all those men—er, I mean, a single mother could get taken advantage of there.” He scratched his chin, while I had a hard time believing he’d show such a protective vibe for me.

Admittedly, working in a bar again held little appeal. “In this small town, there are very few prospects for jobs. I suppose I could keep looking.”

“I thought you went to college? What was your degree in?”

Oh, crap. Caught in another lie I told Blake on my twenty-first birthday. In my defense, I was forced myself to. If I had told him the truth, exactly how pitiful my life was, he probably wouldn’t have spent the night with me. River wouldn’t have existed. My life would have been total shit without him.

“When I got pregnant with River, I dropped out.”

I swore that’d be the last lie to Blake to cover up my old life. As long as the past didn’t come up again, I wouldn’t have to lie. Ever since the doctor placed baby River into my arms, I tried daily to be a better person for him. And hoped that Karma wouldn’t come calling.

“I see. Well, I plan to give you a lump sum for the years I missed supporting you with River. That should help, I would think, assuming a positive paternity test, of course. How much will you need? What does it take to keep two humans alive—well, one and a half humans?” He chuckled and gazed across at River, but his smile dropped. “Oh, hey, kid, what are you doing?”

I jumped from my seat and rushed to River. “Honey, we don’t color on the furniture.” I yanked the crayon out of his hand and gathered them to pack up, mortified at the scribbles my son left behind on the formerly pristine white table.

“Why not? It’s like paper. Mrs. Witham let us draw on big white pieces of paper at school. I drew a picture of me for Blake. And look, I even wrote thank you.” Where he pointed was just a bunch of gibberish, a mixture of his early forming letters and squiggly lines.

“Wow, bud, nice work.” Blake was suddenly by my side and close enough, his manly musk enveloped me in its shield. Between that, River’s artistry, covering for a past I despised, and the chat about money and custody, my head swam.

“It says, ‘ Dear Officer Blake, thank you so much for saving me. That was nice of you. I hope that your shoulder will not be broken forever. I want to see Lucky again. Thank you for making sure a bear didn’t eat me in the woods.’ There, see, I wrote it and made it for you.” It tore my heart how proud he was of his effort.

I turned to Blake, red-faced and worried. “I’m sorry about this. If you have some cleaning supplies, I’ll wipe it off.”

Bless him for chuckling and winking, apparently not mad. “Hey, don’t worry about it. A lot of times when we visit schools, the kids like to draw us cards. I think I’ll leave it be. Honestly, if you haven’t noticed, my place could use some color.”

Years of tension wiped away with how easy-going he was about it. I’d spent most of my life fearing my father and brothers, never knowing what might set them off. After Mom passed away, I found out how much of a buffer she’d been for me. Once gone, it was like fair game for my tormentors to aggravate me.

“Olivia? Did you hear me?”

“Huh?” I zoomed back to the present at Blake’s voice, blinking away the past again. “Sorry, what?”

“I said that I was thinking… My friends, Kipp and Tracy, throw a Halloween party for their kids and friends. I thought we could all three attend together. Give you two a chance to meet more people in town. My friends are pretty important to me. I’d like them to meet you both.” His hands dove into his pockets, and he toed the hardwood floor, staring down as if he was the nervous boy next door asking a girl on a first date. But no, this wouldn’t be a date, more like a friendly gesture.

I took a good look at the tall, brawny man. At twenty-one, despite his gruff exterior, he’d shown a different side to me. My instincts had told me I didn’t have to fear him as I had others, and the same was true now. Blake had a way of setting me at ease. Setting me free. But for River’s sake, we should remain only friends.

River was the ray of sunshine who had saved me. With Blake now entering our lives, my son might finally get two people to adore him, and he deserved that. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his happiness. Getting into a relationship with his father would only be inviting potential heartbreak if things went south.

“I wanna go to the party. I wanna dress up as Chilly. Or Billy the dog. Please, Mommy, can we?” River tugged at my jeans.

“Sure. We could meet there. I’ll get the details from you tomorrow morning. We should go, though. It’s getting late. River, let’s pack our things up.” I grabbed my bag, my head pounding. This visit wound up being more than I expected.

“Okay,” he said in his little voice, the one I knew meant he wasn’t happy with my decision to go. He gave the dog a hug. “Bye, Lucky. See you again real soon.”

Blake crouched down beside the two of them. “Want to see a neat trick? Hold your hand like this and say the command, ‘Give me five, Lucky.’”

River’s grin split his face as he held his hand steady, high in the air. “Give me five, Lucky!” The dog tapped his hand with a paw, producing squeals of laughter out of him. Then he full-on hugged Blake.

Blake squeezed him back, standing upright with him. “Bye, buddy. See you soon, okay?”

“Bye, Officer Blake.” His lips wobbled as he was set back on his feet again.

A tear threatened the corner of my eye. Guess I ended up the tormentor today, splitting the two of them up just when they’d started getting to know each other.

Once we were settled into the car and buckled in, Blake leaned over, his hands on his knees, getting face-level with me through the window.

“Hey, I meant every word I said in there, Olivia. Whatever you need. Just let me know.”

“Thanks.” I nodded with one simple word and started the car.

As we pulled away from his perfect piece of property, the lovely life he’d built for himself, my heart pounded against my chest, jealous of the woman who might be privileged enough to snag him someday and deserve him. That wasn’t me. I did things I wasn’t proud of, and he’d certainly not be interested in me if he knew the truth.

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