Chapter 49

Connor

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.

I’d stripped off angrily the minute I got into the room but sinking down onto the bed with only the light of the moon to guide me improved my mood a helluva lot. Exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks, pinning me to the mattress. My eyes fluttered closed as I heard everyone else join me. Their voices were muffled, indistinct, but a sharp pop had me opening them again.

“I’m really tired…” I said as I felt someone crawl on the bed. “I think I’m gonna just crash.”

“Is that what you reckon?”

Kendall’s voice was like a siren song and normally it could rouse me out of whatever mood I was in, making me ready to do her bidding, but not now. I closed my eyes again, burying my face in sheets that still faintly smelled of her perfume and prepared myself to fall into sleep when I felt two slick hands slide across my shoulders.

“Kendall…”

I’d meant that as a rebuke, to tell her that she had me right where she wanted me but if I was to stay in this bed, it was to sleep. I felt hollow and empty and too full all at the same time, and I hated that. Her hands ignored my protest, skimming over my skin, making every nerve ending perk up and take notice, turning the tail end of her name into a groan.

“I think he likes that.”

Van, the fuckhead.

“Shut up.”

“Can’t hear you, mate.” A thud of something soft hit the back of my head. “Pillow’s in the way.”

My arms tightened and my fingers flexed, ready to grab another pillow and retaliate, but Kendall burrowed her fingers into my shoulders and forced my own to go lax. Jesus, I was putty in her hands. My spine lengthened and I sank down deeper into the bed as I felt her thighs move to straddle my hips, but it wasn’t until her arse perched on mine that I could truly relax. She had me pinned and there was nothing I could do.

How did she know my traps were aching from being locked in place, hunched over the damn laptop? How did her thumbs find the exact points in my shoulder blades to send weird bolts of referred pain through my entire upper back, only to erase it all as her hands passed? Why did every stroke of her open palm have me understanding cats better, my brain forced to stop worrying about Dad’s bullshit and follow the path of each one, the resulting sensation making every hair pull to attention with pleasure? I just wanted this to go on for ever and ever because then I didn’t have to deal with this.

Shame sat heavily in my gut, like I’d swallowed a great acid bath of it and it’d burned everything inside me all the way down. Academically, I knew I’d had no way to predict that Dad would pull this shit. I’d been wary but desperate when I went to him for the loan in the first place, but I’d assumed his investment in my success would keep us safe.

How wrong I was.

But that was the problem with people like Dad. Human beings couldn’t exist without things like trust and love, but he didn’t seem to need either. It was as if he was missing something crucial that made him human, and so there was no way to anticipate his actions. Something else guided him, and all I could do was try to get us as far away from him as possible. Maybe Alan was right. If we sold up, moved somewhere else—

“Turn over.”

I groaned, not wanting to move, but whatever Kendall asked of me, I’d do. She was everything, and if I didn’t have her right now, I didn’t know what I’d be doing. Sitting up all night worrying, then drinking enough beer to shut up the persistent voice inside my head that told me I wasn’t good enough maybe, but instead, I was faced with this.

My beautiful girl looming above me, the silver of the moonlight tracing the barest lines of her face as she stared down at me. Kendall looked as distant as a goddess and twice as beautiful. I just stared as she anointed her hands with oil, rubbing them together to create a slick sound, right before they came down. My whole body jumped at the warmth of her touch and then at the feel of her spreading the oil all over my chest, raking her fingers across tight muscles before she spoke.

“I think I know what you’re feeling right now.”

“Loose.” I barely murmured that.

She shook her head. “Shame.”

She had me relaxing, stroking my muscles, finding knots with unerring accuracy before her fingers dug in, but that word had all the tension flooding back.

“Didn’t realise I was that transparent.”

“You’re not.” Kendall ignored my terse tone, keeping her strokes long and loose. “But I know you, Connor.”

Not enough, evidently. Part of me was disappointed to realise that. She’d started strong, using the lure of her body to get me to relax a little but that hadn’t lasted long.

“I guess you do.”

My voice was tight, my reply bland. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. If I was going to be forced to deal with this shit, I’d rather do it in front of my computer. I could start playing with scenarios, forcing my tired brain to think of more and more options because maybe one would get us out of this mess. I started to rise up off the bed, but her hand went around my throat. She used it to push me right down, her grip no doubt revealing the rapid thud of my pulse.

“You think this is your problem, your responsibility. You pay lip service to the idea that we’re all equal partners in this relationship, but we aren’t really. All the pleasure and the fun is ours.” Slick fingers trailed down my chest, swirling across my stomach. “And all the pain is yours.”

I had stuff to say about that, but every word was choked off as she wrapped her hand around my cock. I was sure I caught the moment when each finger curled around me, my whole spine curling.

“Kendall…”

I hadn’t felt like sex at all, but as soon as she touched me, my body came alive. Maybe because this was all brand new, or maybe because it always was her bitch, and I’d be hard and aching for her the moment she crooked a finger at me. But right now I felt those fingers slide down, my entire consciousness following with it.

“I love that you had the foresight to build a house big enough for all of us, in a good school district, just in case we decided to start a family.”

Did I? I couldn’t remember a damn thing, not as her palm swivelled over the head of my cock, there and gone again.

“I love that you’ve worked like a fucking Trojan to build something secure, something real, the entire time we’ve been apart.”

I was fucking her palm now, a terrible tension building. More than sex, more than desire, something else was coming with it.

“I love that every damn part of you is focussed on creating a family here. A safe space where we can all care for each other, but…”

Her hand stopped, and it felt like all of the air was sucked out of my lungs.

“But that goes both ways. Because I love you, Connor, and that means I can’t see you hurting.”

I couldn’t protest, let her know I was feeling anything other than pain right now. Her strokes tugged me along in more ways than one. I was caught up in this delicious spiral of mind-blowing pleasure, the fact that nothing was required from me in return somehow making it more intense. How did Kendall fucking know this was exactly what I needed? How did she drive me out of my damn mind? My hips moved faster, harder, craving the friction, but she pulled away.

“I want you feeling about as good as you can right now.”

“Was there a second ago,” I croaked.

“But I don’t want this to end too fast.”

More oil, I watched it drizzle over her fingertips and pool in her hand right before she cupped my balls and swirled her palm. I stiffened, the sensation exquisitely sensitive but also low-key terrifying. If she just squeezed a bee’s dick too hard… But Kendall didn’t, of course she didn’t, as she traced the shape of each testicle, then fanned her hands across my inner thighs.

“How far can I go?” she asked me.

“As far as you need to.” I was tired, so damn tired, but there was no rest for me until this was done. “Baby, you…”

My voice trailed away as a single finger slid lower, rubbing sensually against my taint in a way that had my hips moving again, only to drop further. Just a featherlight caress across my arse before she stopped and stared down at me.

“Massaging your prostate is supposed to be pretty damn good.”

“I…”

The need to respond was pressing down on me, but words stalled in my throat. I’d never thought of my arse other than something I needed to scrub in the shower, but now? She made me aware of nerve endings I’d never even known existed. My cock twitched, a helpless little spurt of pre-cum splattering across my stomach.

“Seems like part of you is keen, but I’m not doing anything until you say yes.”

“Yeess?”

She smirked then and never had I felt more powerless, though there was something safe about it. That Kendall held me literally in the palm of her hand and nothing bad could happen while she did.

“Maybe we could try things and if you don’t like it, you could say so.”

She kept her fingertip swirling in question until I went to reply, but a little moan escaped me rather than words. That made her chuckle, but she didn’t proceed, not until I said yes.

No, that was my first thought. I was being penetrated, not the other way around and that felt… weird. Like I was open, something inside me stroked. It was poky and uncomfortable and…

Fuck.

I said just that, my eyes going wide, but I didn’t see the ceiling. Just golden fucking stars as she stroked something that damn near took my head off.

“Oh fuck…”

What the hell was this? It was like my whole body was licked by a golden tongue, every part of me lighting up like a flame. I was in fucking ecstasy, rutting against her hand as she wrapped it back around my cock, working me from both ends. I was gonna cum, I just fucking knew it, but rather than it all coming rushing out of me in one big splatter, it just seemed to drip free. Each drop contained a world of pleasure, leaking free and exploding inside of me like fireworks. I was panting like mad, my whole head spinning, right before it all came to a head.

“Kendall… Kendall…”

I dragged her down as I fucking burst everywhere, cum splattering her skin as well as mine, then becoming a kind of lube to allow her body to slide against me. I rolled her over, pinning her to the bed, rutting against her soft stomach until finally everything was emptied out. There was nothing more to do but press my forehead to hers as I kissed the tip of her nose.

“Jesus, what the fuck was that?”

“Good, I hope.” She grinned up at me. “Enough to make you relax, if just for tonight.”

“I am fucking cooked,” I told her, already feeling my eyes start to close. “But you’re not. Gage, Van, look after our girl.”

“Like we weren’t here waiting for you to get over yourself,” Gage replied.

I dimly heard the sounds of kissing and smiled to myself, right before I fell asleep.