20

Our dinner consisted of salad and cookies while Tori pretended to sip a smoothie.

She was able to manifest during that and I wasn’t only sitting by a toy, thankfully. When I told her about my run-in with Faris, she groaned loudly in recognition. “Faris is the worst . Always has some holy stick up his butt,” she said.

I nibbled on a piece of cold lettuce when I felt a shift in the air. Tori stopped talking; very odd considering she hadn’t all evening. The dining area had been scarce, but the murmuring grew like a disturbed beehive.

“Wait here,” Tori said. I blinked once, and she disappeared. Her stuffed bear on the chair went limp as well. A second of quiet awkwardness later and Tori’s voice whispered next to my ear.

“ Jess. ”

Like her previous antics, I jumped out of my skin. “ Shit … Yes?”

“You have to see this,” she said and a glowing phone screen floated by my face.

“Did you take this from someone?”

“Well, I didn’t bring my phone.”

“Tori…”

“Just look!”

I redirected my concern to the display on her screen.

Oh gods. It was me.

I rewatched myself with the Ghoul and the cloud of magic. My frantic delivery and terrified screeches were painful to witness a second time. The rest of the cafeteria who noticed me in the room had mixed reviews on their faces. Some looked mystified while others huddled tighter in their groups.

More whispering.

“Wow…” Tori’s voice was still present without a body but she quickly disposed of the phone and joined me, physically, back at the table. Her bright eyes darted around and I almost wished she’d go back to her spirit form, which was far less obvious. “Why haven’t you shown us this badassery during training?” she asked.

“Who sent the video? How did they even get this?” I asked, not actually expecting her to know the answer. It was only now circulating, so I had to imagine that Jarmiel and Zak had kept it under wraps.

“It’s a random number. Not even a number, just some weird address. All of our devices are from EXO. Someone must’ve…” Tori forced a smile and her pixie voice dropped an octave. “Let’s get going?”

I noticed her anxious glances around us and nodded. Something wasn’t right. Tori manifested for as long as she could before returning to her bear. By then, we were already outside.

Why did someone leak the video? How had they gotten to it in the first place? Was it an accident or intentional? Zak warned me about something like this on my first day but I’d thought it had been an excuse to keep my phone.

I don’t know what I was expecting when we returned to the dorms.

It was quiet at first until Barrett bounded down the stairs like an elephant or stampede and had a giant grin on his face. He bounced on his heels, making me dizzy with his excitement. “There you are. I thought you were holding out on us and sure enough.”

Another phone was waved in my face. The video had been sent to him as well, confirming my fears. “I thought you were a goner, which you aren’t obviously, because you’re standing here, but then, BAM !” Barrett reenacted the impact with his arms. “You blasted the hell out of that thing. What was that? Magic?”

My mouth opened a few times but words escaped me. “I… I’ve been trying to figure that out myself.”

Barrett’s excitable movements slowed. “Shit. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. It’s just, you took on a Ghoul by yourself. Only the angels have done that.”

“Technically it was still alive—”

I forgot Tori was back on my shoulder again until she cut me off. “I haven’t seen Zak training you in magic,” she said.

“Yeah. Why isn’t he taking advantage of that?” Barrett glared at the ceiling in thought. “I know it’s demon magic, but I mean, if you’re using it for us…”

“It doesn’t scare you?” I asked.

He cocked a brow. “You’re asking the shapeshifting man-beast if your cute sparkles scare him?”

“They should ,” Tori said, “They stopped a Ghoul bigger than you.”

Barrett waved his hands in front of him defensively. “Hey, I’m just sayin’, I’m scary too. And I’m definitely showing this to Max.”

My shoulders dropped heavier than a bag of bricks. If everyone got the same video then he probably already saw it. “Do you have to?”

“Yeah, to rub it in his face,” Barrett said.

“Rub what in his face?”

“He thinks—well, you know,” he paused, as if hoping I’d answer for him, “You’re still new and we didn’t know if you could hack it as a peacekeeper. I thought it was just his pride talking since you escaped him so easily during your arrest.”

Barrett’s face puckered like his own words tasted sour. “Uh, anyway. I was just about to turn on a movie if you guys want to watch? You can join too, Guy.”

Tori squeaked and we both turned our heads to see Guy observing from the stairwell. He’d been resting his shoulder against the doorway for who knew how long. If anything was on his mind, his aloof expression revealed nothing.

“He hates movies,” Tori muttered but he ignored her. Guy’s gaze was lingering on my face, making my insides twist. Goosebumps traveled up my arms. His look was calm but I could see the storms rolling behind in his darkening eyes.

Was he waiting to see if I’d agree to Barrett’s offer?

“Maybe,” I stopped when Yara glided out of the elevator.

Her teal-accented hair had been released from their tight braids. Waves of curly hair bounced around her face like she carried a moving ocean with her. A playful smirk dressed her face. “Hey, killer.”

I let out a sigh. She saw the video too.

“Couldn’t ignore the notification.” She took herself to the kitchen, not relishing in the news like everyone else seemed to. “You look pale. Did you not know about the video?”

I shook my head. Honestly, it felt like whoever shared the video hadn’t had the best intentions. If it was an effort to make me look bad, it hadn’t worked in the eyes of my team. I couldn’t say the same for any purifiers that might’ve seen.

“I knew the video existed but I don’t know who shared it or why. No one told me anything.”

Barrett’s brow now furrowed like he’d just realized the negatives of the situation. “You saw it before?”

“Yeah. Some guys took it on their phones.”

“I mean, that shit travels fast,” he said, “If it wasn’t wiped from their phones, then someone has great data retrieval skills.”

“I can’t tell if someone wanted to hurt you with this or make you look cooler,” Tori said, “I feel like it’ll keep creeps like Faris away.”

“Faris?”

We all turned to Yara piping in from the kitchen. “Any purifier messing with you hasn’t seen real evil.” Her words, sharp as they were, strung smoothly together like a song, and the melody captivated my attention without much effort. I had to strain my ears to focus on the actual point she was making.

“You’re not the only one purifiers have shared displeasure with,” Barrett snorted, “Usually we’re just ignored, though. Welcome to the club of outcasts.”

“An outcast surrounded by outcasts takes the fire out of the name,” Yara added.

I don’t know why, but my heart burned a few degrees hotter. Just outside, eyes followed me with suspicion and fear, but the second I returned to the dorms.

“Most of us are wolves in sheep’s clothing,” Yara said, “Maybe it’s his adorable face but Barrett’s a real brute.”

“Hey.” He sounded upset at first but then he smiled. “I’m adorable?”

Yara’s chuckle at that made my head buzz and she caught me rubbing my temples. “My bad. Sorry if I haven’t said much before. It’s because of this .” She pointed to my face and made a swirling motion. “I manage it the best I can but that usually means I can’t say as much.”

“Is that a siren thing?” I asked.

“Yes. A siren thing. What about you?”

That explained her usually silent nature. I’d thought it was only the siren’s songs that were dangerous, but maybe that had been old tales mixing with truth. Shame settled in my chest, realizing that I’d probably judged many supernaturals unfairly, just as I feared everyone did with me.

I debated telling them about the succubi theory. Yara was right, after all. What did I have to be nervous about around them? “Luckily, I don’t need to eat people,” I said, starting off strong, “but I do need their energy.”

“Energy?” Barrett’s head dropped to one side.

“Soul energy,” Yara said. Her piercing eyes checked my face to see if she’d been wrong. I just nodded. Back in his creepy corner, I sensed Guy’s interest peaking. He didn’t shift his features at all but I could feel his own, bizarre energy buzzing.

“Is that hard to do?” Barrett asked.

“The process is a bit too easy. When I touch people, it just happens,” I said, before quickly adding, “Zak and I are working on it.”

The werewolf made a sympathetic groan. “Too bad we don’t have another demon to help you figure things out. It’s weird. You don’t smell like a demon. Or act like one.”

Yara stepped away to tend to a screaming tea kettle on the stove. She took a mug from one of the cabinets and began to pour. “Are you saying she’s lying?”

“No, but I’ve smelled demons before. Their stink burns my nose hairs.” His face scrunched in protest. “She’s too sweet, like caramel that cooked too long.”

Cupcake? I scoffed at myself, hating Aiden’s nickname for me even more. Seemed like every supernatural being with a nose agreed on my scent. “Jarmiel and Zak feel the same way but we don’t have answers yet,” I said, “I’m just happy to skip the whole cannibalism thing.”

I caught Barrett’s wicked little eye raise. “Is it actually cannibalism if you’re not human? My ancestors ate people. A lot of people. Gnarly stuff.” He slid the bowl of fresh popcorn toward me from across the counter and grinned. He and Yara had been active in the kitchen all whilst keeping a conversation. It was im pressive, really. “Those were dark times, though. Don’t look so down, newbie. Yeah, you’re a demon. Whatever. But have you seen a wolf’s fist shift?”

Yara’s cool-toned lips sampled her freshly brewed tea while Barrett’s entire body shivered. “When was yours?” she asked.

“I was twelve. Worst birthday present ever.”

“So young?” I thought about myself at twelve and experiencing what had happened with Peter. Even at twenty-one, I’d been a mess, and that hadn’t included my body going through a painful metamorphosis.

He shrugged. “Just means I became a man before all my friends.”

“Is that what it means?” Yara snickered and Barrett playfully bumped shoulders with her. “Hey, don’t make me spill my tea.”

I lost track of Tori for a moment, having not heard her in a while. Yara’s voice was still messing with my head. When I looked around, I found her next to Guy. He listened to his ghost companion but it was like we could sense when the other was looking. I turned away just as he started to smile, catching me in the act.

“Have either of you dealt with demons before?” I asked while Barrett and Yara were still lingering.

Things had been going well so far, and then I hit a tripwire. Barrett got quiet before releasing a struggling cough. “Our pack had run-ins before, yeah. It’s a sore spot for us, especially Ma—” he stopped before finishing his friend’s name, “What I don’t get is that you don’t smell like one and you’re not exactly brimming with bloodlust. It’s like you’re not a demon at all.”

Yara’s eyes glazed over for a moment. “Not all demons are frothing wildlings. Some are deceptively lovely, cunning and very patient. Much like my kin.”

My lips parted but I didn’t have the words. The mutual accep tance I’d felt earlier crumbled. Denying her suggestion seemed just as damning. She adjusted her hair over her shoulder and pushed away from the counter. “Enjoy the movie, everyone.”

“You’re leaving?” Barrett asked, “We haven’t even started.”

“I just came to make my tea,” she said, “Goodnight.”

***

The remaining crew, including myself, took over the living room. Even Guy.

Tori balled up her tiny, ethereal body in a chair while Barrett, Guy, and I fit on the L-shaped couch. Barrett sat with his broad shoulders to my left, completely captivated by his snack and the film.

I felt a sliver of regret agreeing to stay, especially after how the last conversation ended. It was only fair that they would be wary of me. Hell, I was wary of them too.

Guy took the spot to my right. I noticed the space difference between us versus me and Barrett. There was plenty of space on the couch but he’d decided to be close. He was back in loose clothing and his memorable plaid pajama pants. Respect for being comfortable, but he reminded me of an old man at home in a twenty-something body.

I peered up at him. “Is it true that you hate movies?”

For the last while, I’d felt him wanting to say something. It had me anxious, like when Naomi was upset about something and gave me the silent treatment until she was ready to unload.

Guy hummed softly and I felt my ears vibrate. “Not all movies. Just the movies Tori likes.”

“Ah.” I cracked a smile.

“How are you feeling?”

“About?”

“The video. I assume that wasn’t your doing.” We’d both taken to whispering but it didn’t seem to bother Barrett.

“Oh. Yeah, I don’t know,” I said, “I’m not sure what the purpose was so I’m a little nervous, I guess.”

“It won’t take long to find who did it,” Guy said and I felt oddly touched by his determination. Whether it was for my benefit or not. We sat in silence after that. Barrett’s popcorn and Tori’s commentary couldn’t keep me engaged enough in the movie. I must’ve gotten very comfortable because my eyes started to close.

“ Jessebel …”

An eerie voice sang and tickled my mind but I assumed it was the movie. My head sank deeper into the cushion supporting my back. The credits were rolling and I could hear Tori and Barrett arguing over something. It sounded ridiculous and I quietly smiled to myself.

“ Jessebel .”

I shot up from the couch, alerting the others. That voice had been right against my ear. My heart was pounding. I waited to hear it again. It refused to speak but I could feel a presence there. Waiting.

My knees shook. At what point did I take voices in my head as a sign of insanity?

“You good?” Barrett asked.

“Yeah,” I said, “I’m just more tired than I thought.”

A cold hand felt for my wrist. I didn’t flinch or pull away.

“Jess?” Guy seemed to need more verification.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

His lips slanted downward. I hadn’t gotten away with it, apparently. Barrett and Tori were fooled, or pretended to be, so I thanked them for the popcorn and hurried out of the room. I wasn’t sure why I ran. It wasn’t like I wanted to be alone.

Dread pooled in my chest like I knew something was coming. I made it to my floor when the worst headache of my life decided to stab my brain. Everything around me went black.

No. It was happening again.

Already?

There hadn’t been as much build-up that time. I used the wall to hold my ground until the pain subsided. An icy breeze came from behind me and I groaned. “I said I was fine.”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Guy crossing his arms like a disappointed, marble statue. He took a step forward, making me feel naked under his watch. Did he pick up on the voice I’d heard in my head?

“So you said. What happened?” he asked.

“It’s the same as last time,” I said. But worse, it seemed.

Guy nodded. Now that my second stomach cried for more spirit energy, I could sense Guy’s like a freshly baked pie under my nose. His spirit was calm like a glassy lake under the moonlight. Strange for Death to have any energy in the first place.

Thinking about Barrett’s and Tori’s vibrancy that I had left behind made my muscles constrict. Phantom nails clawed at my stomach lining, ignoring the food I’d given myself already. I knew what relief awaited me if I simply allowed myself to touch one of them. The desire was slowly possessing my body, slow ing my movements as if it knew there was no energy to savor in my bedroom.

I craved their life.

Disgusting.

I hadn’t looked away from his eyes but I felt something wet slide down my cheek. How much of my aunt’s medicine did I have left? I didn’t know who I was anymore.

Not wanting to dump my emotional shit on Guy, I hid my face to focus on my closed room. An uncontrollable sob wracked my body but I was able to hide my face, at least. I just wished I could’ve held it in long enough to open my door first.

“Jess, stop.”

I fumbled with the knob, got angry, and snapped. “Fine. I’m not fine . None of this is fine!”

A pair of arms came around me. The sudden gesture caused me to choke on my breath. Guy locked himself in by grabbing his opposite elbow before I could shake him off. I’d forgotten how strong he was from our last scuffle.

“At least you’re being honest, now.” His voice was cool against my emotional meltdown. The still waters of his energy seeped into mine until I became as peaceful as the calm current. I wondered if I could feel his heartbeat. Did he even have one? I let myself sink back into him; a slow surrender.

There . The drum in his chest was slower than mine, but it was there.

A heart.

“You’re right. It’s not fine,” Guy said, “It’s complicated. Now, what do you need?”

“I don’t want to do this.” I didn’t want to eat souls. I didn’t want to know that souls tasted differently; special to their owners. I didn’t want the euphoria that followed when I allowed myself to partake. I didn’t want to see Peter’s dying face every time I touched someone.

Guy’s voice rumbled in my ear and kept me in a trance. “You have two options. You can master what is undoubtedly a part of you or let it consume you. Just know, I am all that awaits you should you choose the latter.”

In the moment, with Guy’s arms around me, Death didn’t seem so bad. I felt like I was out at sea and not in a hallway. It was quiet. Peaceful. I didn’t have to worry about anything.

“I have to hurt people. How can that ever be a good thing?” I asked. When I really thought about it, the answer was right in front of me. The reason I’d been able to stop the Ghoul wasn’t just a freak accident. If I hadn’t stolen life from Peter that night, the demon magic wouldn’t have saved me.

I would have been a bloody puddle in his driveway.

Guy didn’t respond. He wasn’t going to fall for the bait and tell me I was wrong. That was fine. He was allowed to be cold and direct. Neither of us moved or did anything for a while. I worried that when he finally did let go, I would fall apart.

“Jess.” His call tempted me to face him. I made a half circle as his arms loosened. It felt as though a magnetic pull was help ing me along and kept me turning until our toes touched. “As a peacekeeper, I can’t leave if this isn’t under control. So, I’ll ask again. What do you need?”

I could feel the swelling from my eyes getting puffy. He prob ably thought I was pathetic but there was nothing to do about it now.

“Can I see your hand?”

He didn’t wait for a reason; just held it out to me. His hand was smooth, like the flat end of an ice sculpture. I’d felt his aura many times but it was always brief and sometimes alarming. There was no instant warmth like there had been with Zak. The steady transference from his hand to mine still brought the soothing satisfaction I needed.

I let out a soft breath. It was working, and yet, I found myself wanting more. What if I held both of his hands? My eyes landed on his lips for some reason and I felt my insides catch fire.

I dropped his hand. It wasn’t a lot of energy but the aching hunger was gone. “Thanks…”

“That’s it? You made it sound so terrible.”

“Maybe messing with people’s souls isn’t weird for you but it is for me.”

His only response was a smirk and the flustered heat returned to my cheeks. I pretended to yawn into my elbow and finally opened my door properly. “Well, goodnight.”

Even though I’d ended the conversation, he didn’t leave. Guy’s eyes reflected the hallway lights and I saw the faint lines that made them angelic. I still hadn’t asked him about it. The crystal texture wasn’t as prominent as Zak’s or Jarmiel’s but they were pretty, like cracked glass.

Since he insisted on standing there I continued, “Guy. You’ve existed for… a while?”

“That’s rude.”

“Do you know what demon magic is ?”

“Magic is usually just the manipulation of exotic matter. Demons meddle with dark matter,” he started, “It in itself isn’t evil but Demons tend to do evil with it. Those powerful enough can bring it to a solid form.”

Guy’s scythe emerged, cutting through reality like a curtain of smoke. It waited obediently beside him. “Its elemental counterpart is light, which you’ve seen Zak use before. Their wings or weapons are just hyper controlled light. I also use magic spe cific to reapers.”

“So, I could make myself a pair of wings too?”

“If you can manage.”

That felt oddly backhanded. When I squinted at him he explained further, “You lack control. Angels and demons are eternal beings. They’ve had plenty of time learning how to shape their matter. What you did was chaotic. An explosive burst. Anyone in the crossfire would’ve died.”

It wasn’t quite a dagger to the heart I felt, but a tiny needle poking into my chest. Was all of Zak’s kindness because he’d wanted to be gentle with a ticking time bomb? I shouldn’t have been upset over it but I was.

Zak had always been doing his job. I knew that.

“My scythe works similarly,” Guy said, grasping the staff and holding it out to me, “Matter manipulation isn’t easy. Those who can usually stick to one or two forms.”

“Why is that?”

“Not sure. Could be another silent law in the universe that every speck of matter obeys. Since every form seems specially crafted to the individual, my theory is the shape has to do with one’s soul. Their preference.”

My lips pulled further down. “So an explosive blob is my preference?”

He chuckled and his scythe faded back into oblivion. “I’d say your soul is lost and in need of direction.”

That didn’t make me feel better. Still, some clarity was better than none.

“Do reapers have souls? I feel yours.”

I thought I caught him flinching. Hopefully, I hadn’t been the rude one that time. “Yes, intelligence and a physical form become one’s soul.”

“Can you die, then?”

He sighed. “Death is just the transference of energy. When someone’s body is beyond repair, reapers detach the soul and move it elsewhere. It’s similar to what you do, except we don’t gain anything from the souls. So, yes, I can go somewhere else. Or in the worst case, become trapped.”

“Trapped?”

“A lifetime in prison sounds scary but it’s nothing compared to an eternity. Immortals have to maintain order too, and when soul matter can’t be destroyed, it has to be confined.”

My jaw dropped an inch as a new fear awakened. There I’d been, fussing about mortal imprisonment. “They would lock you up forever ? I thought Hell was the ultimate prison.”

“Hell has many prisons.” He lifted his arms like it was as casually as mentioning the weather. “Anyway, you should head to bed. It’s late.”

Sure, I’ll just do that!

“Goodnight.” I closed the door on the reaper’s charming grin.

“Goodnight, Jess.”