19

I felt eyes everywhere. That, or I’d adopted more of my aunt’s extreme paranoia.

The whispers were constant. People from the cafeteria, class, and even on the way to training, all quieted when I got close. Was it merely self-absorption in assuming they’d all been talking about me?

My group with Zak felt the least invasive, believe it or not. Even with Aiden’s taunting and Max’s in a constant state of being pissed-off. Mallory became a pleasant breath of fresh arrogance compared to the looks I received from any purifier.

It was time for mine and Zak’s special training. After we found a secluded spot next to the field, he walked off and reappeared carrying cinder blocks. I watched with growing curiosity as he set them in front of me. One wouldn’t have been too difficult to break but after seeing him set down three more, I heard my bones cry.

“Let’s test your strength before and after you borrow some spirit energy,” Zak said, “See what you can accomplish as you are now. Just chop down what you can.”

I inhaled and stepped up to the blocks. With a sturdy stance, knees bent, I brought my arm down and broke through the first but only cracked the second.

When Zak didn’t say anything, I panicked. “That bad?”

He shook his head. “I mean, our purifiers have been able to do a little more and they’re not demons, so…”

Great . Even the purifiers were better. Peacekeepers were supposed to be the brute strength of EXO. They were going to run out of uses for me. I didn’t want to end up back in jail, with no chance of ever finding Naomi. Although, the longer I was away from her, the less I found myself wanting to go back to our life before.

Was that wrong of me?

Zak reassembled the stack with some new blocks and held his hands out to me. “Don’t sweat it. This is the first time we’re really experimenting with it. Here. Take enough to make an impact.” When I didn’t return his graceful smile he added; “You won’t hurt me. I promise.”

I inhaled through my nose and removed the new arm pro tectors that came with my suit. Our fingers glided over one another’s and I felt his energy right away. My heart hesitated but my instincts did not. His essence became the air I breathed. The taste of citrus and summer warmed my tongue. I wondered if his lips tasted like citrus too. They looked pillowy enough to promise a soft landing.

“You good?” Zak tilted his head at me when I quickly stepped back.

I just thought about kissing you, so no!

The same thing happened with Guy too. I couldn’t be that desperate for attention. Or was it a succubus thing? The “Kiss of Death,” just like it said in Jarmiel’s textbooks. From my brief and deadly experience, I knew I enjoyed kissing. I hadn’t noticed a demonic obsession towards it, though.

Gods, but I felt so much better with Zak’s energy, even if my thoughts embarrassed me.

I focused back on the blocks. My open palm came down on the hard surface and I was able to break through all three. Pride pulsed in my veins, drowning my earlier concerns. It wasn’t enough. I wanted to fight a titan made of stone and feel it crack under my fist.

“Not bad at all,” Zak said, “The energy you consume gives you extra strength, but it’s temporary. We’ll have to keep an eye on that.”

We practiced that a few more times; each set of blocks became harder to break. Whenever I felt exhausted, we’d hold hands again. I appreciated him teaching me how to use my quirks in a beneficial way. Naomi would never. It made everything a little easier to bear, like there was a purpose other than being a monster.

“What about controlling how much energy I take from someone?” I asked after dusting my palms on my pants, “With you, it comes easy but when I… with Peter…”

“What made you stop with Peter?” he asked.

“When he stopped breathing.”

He must have heard the sadness in my voice because his smile faded. “Since you’re already sensitive to it, I think control will come easily. Just listen to yourself. As soon as the feeling comes, stop. We’ll figure out a way to practice that. I still wouldn’t mess with humans. They won’t be able to pull you off like I can.”

I wet my lips, hesitating with my next question. “What about dark and light matter?”

“You’re talking about what you did in the video, right?”

I still couldn’t meet his eyes after thinking about his lips before, but I gave him a nod. He shooed me a few feet away from him and lifted an arm. A piercing sound, followed by static came from his hand. Just like Guy’s scythe, a long object constructed itself from nothing. Zak’s looked like a sword made out of pure light. Staring for too long made me blink purple spots.

“I can make this sword and my wings. It’s a mental and spiritual game as much as it is a physical one.” He swished the sword once and a wave of heat sliced across my middle. “If I’m not mentally in check, it’ll go off like a firework and maybe even burn me too in its rebellion.”

“Light would do that?” I asked.

“Light is all about disruption and disorder.” Zak chuckled. “Imagine your room at night, dark and quiet. You’re in a state of tranquility, and then, the sun rises. In less than a second, it obliterates the dark and everything is awake with color. It’s a devastating process if you think about it.”

The man was poetic about sunshine. Not surprising.

Charges of electricity from the sword grazed my skin. The light was like a wild beast behind tight reigns, which wasn’t what I imagined an angel’s power to be, but then, Zak arrived in a similar fashion to disrupt my life. Its temperament reminded me of my own power when the gold lights lashed out, but mine had been covered in darkness too.

The sword severed itself in half and retreated back into his hands. A pulsing glow traveled up his arms and ended in his soft, brown eyes. He showed some teeth in his grin. “Light is meant to be shared. If I understand correctly, dark matter is conjured differently and behaves differently. Demons use it because it requires the consumption of something, and boy, do they like to consume.”

“Like a sacrifice?”

“Bingo. Light can be made but dark matter simply exists and takes. Ah… Jarmiel might be better at explaining this stuff.”

I had a list of questions but Zak wanted to spar again.

After our afternoon finished, I returned to the dorms and washed up. As warm water poured over my head, I debated sharing my concerns about the purifiers with Zak. Faris had been the only one to approach me, and even that hadn’t amounted to much.

I toweled off and was about to leave when Tori’s head, only her head, popped through the bathroom door.

My alarmed yelp echoed off the tiled floors. “Tori!”

“Oops, sorry.”

She quickly tucked her head back and opened the door like normal. Her purple bear was hooked on her belt, dancing on her hip as she waved frantically around me like a startled bird. “I thought you might be here.”

Just behind her, Yara walked by in midnight green sweatpants. “You’re not supposed to do that anymore,” she said.

Tori set her hands on her hips until Yara disappeared down the hall. “Sorry, I’m just bored and want to hang out.”

I didn’t really believe I’d been her first choice, but it was another chance at getting to know my group better. Her pleading eyes turned to me and I couldn’t say no. So, I agreed, under the condition that I could get dressed first.

She beamed and waited for me in her room across the hall. What did girls talk about in their spare time? I slipped into some sweats and kept my wet hair in a thick braid before knocking on her door.

We sat on Tori’s floor and exchanged easy questions. “How was your day?” “Did you see Zak scold Aiden during training?” “What face moisturizer does Yara use?”

The speed in which her sentences flowed exhausted my brain muscles.

“— so then, I tried painting my nails the other day but the color just faded.” Tori took a breath she didn’t need. “Waste of money and time. Anyway, should we go do something? Get food?”

“You want food?” I asked, remembering the drama with Mallory over her inability to eat.

“I mean, yes but I can’t,” she said, “I just don’t want to waste a weekend being lame at home ya’ know?”

I could understand that. Sneaking out to Peter’s party had been my little act of rebellion. Before that, my previous teen years dragged by without much excitement.

“Can I ask you something?” Tori bumped her silent heels together. “What were you and Guy up to the other day? He rarely talks to anyone for long periods of time.”

She must have been talking about when he saved me from seeing Faris again. “Oh. We were just heading in the same direction. Actually, I was using him to deflect purifiers.”

“Really?” A more somber expression brushed across her soft features. “He seems to like you. So does Aiden. In a creepy way.”

“Lucky me. What makes you say that?”

“He’s always doing these annoying worried glances, like a mom hovering over her toddler,” she said.

“Aiden?”

That wasn’t how I remembered Aiden looking at me. More like a child eyeballing a birthday cake before a party. Tori shook her head like she had a bug. “What? No . Ew. He looks at you like he’s gonna murder you.”

Or that.

“Why does Aiden come back if he hates it here?” I asked.

“Who knows? He doesn’t talk to anyone, just his sister and now you.” Tori tucked her knees to her chest and gazed at the carpet. “It’s probably because you’re pretty.”

I wanted to laugh. If prettiness was my problem, then maybe I had no reason to worry about all the purifiers gossiping behind my back. “Thanks but I don’t think that’s why.”

“Are you one of those girls who’s oblivious to your own an noyingly beautiful existence?” Tori leered at me from behind her raised knees.

My laughter only increased until I made a rather unflattering snort.

She’s funny.

“You know you’re pretty and even have cool pink hair. I can’t pull that off,” I said.

She wiggled her shoulders at that. “Yeah, well… I’m stuck with it. I bet school was fun for you. Were you super popular?”

“Definitely not.”

It was like Tori could smell drama brewing and she inched closer to me. “I’m not buying it. No one can talk about anything else, so how were you ignored before?”

“My aunt and I didn’t get out much. Being popular would’ve been against the rules.”

“Why— oh , right.” She trailed off. “People would freak if they knew about you, huh? Were you in a sketchy part of town? I was in Cosoco. Shady stuff happened there all the time.”

“By the Outskirts?” I asked. The peak of civilization’s rebuild hosted a depressingly small population. Volhold sat in the middle like a shining castle, but the further you branched out to the smaller cities and toward the Outskirts, the darker it got. Haverwick was middle territory; neither shiny nor abundant in crime.

Beyond the Outskirts were the Wastelands; areas that never fully recovered after the war. At the rim of the Outskirts was a literal drop separating us from it . The “legend” was that the angels raised us toward Heaven while others believed the tainted earth sank deeper to Hell.

People also claimed demons polluted the air in the Wastelands with Hell’s poison. Supposedly lawless and barren, except for criminals, devil worshippers, and monsters. No reporters or journalists ventured out there so how would we really know?

Just had to take the angel’s word for it.

“Yup. The Outskirts,” Tori said, “What about you? Where did you live?”

“Haverwick. The mountains were nice.”

Much better than looking at the same buildings blocking the sky every day.

Tori’s youthfulness shone brightly. Her knee bumped mine when she leaned in. “I’m surprised you stayed so close to the main cities if you were trying to be discreet. Were you on the run? What about— oops .”

I forgot she was a ghost for a moment. The physical form she manifested was incredibly real but her body vanished from sight, and then something stirred from atop her bed. The teddy bear grumbled using her voice to speak. “I guess I need to rest up again. So embarrassing.”

“Is there a way to prolong your manifestations?” I asked.

The bear hopped down from the mattress to resume her spot by me. “I used to last ten minutes before, so it’s getting better. Sorry if this freaks you out.”

“The bear’s growing on me.” I went to pinch the bear’s fluffy ears until I thought about the person inside. “Hey, going out might be fun, if you still want to.”

Tori’s small frame sprang a foot in the air. “I’ll literally do anything. Want to see a movie?”

“Oh…” I stopped. Jarmiel and Zak both said I couldn’t leave campus on my own yet. I’d forgotten that everyone else could. “I don’t know if I can, actually.”

“Are you a convict?”

“N-No. I wouldn’t say that, exactly.”

She just giggled. “Okay, we can go to the cafeteria then. Maybe some of the cute guys from Lisha’s team will be there.”

Cute boys?

I hadn’t realized we were on a mission.

She waited patiently while I ran to my room to grab a nicer sweater. I felt spicy after all the flattery. When I reemerged, Tori climbed up my leg like I’d seen her do with Guy. She perched on my shoulder like a pet owl. A few weeks back, I never would’ve imagined having dinner with a stuffed animal.

“I’m not letting go of the convict theory, just so you know,” Tori said.

***

We headed downstairs and ran into Aiden and Mallory. They resembled both sides of the moon; one bright and the other pitch darkness. Mallory’s outfit belonged in a fashion magazine; the Fall/Winter edition. Styles people might ogle over the pictures for but never actually wear. The short dress squeezed her thin waist, stark white as her hair. Her boots, also white, reached her knees. A long leather jacket draped over her and a fur shawl posed as the cherry on top.

I shivered.

She probably skinned the beast herself.

“Jess.” Mallory greeted coldly. “You’re making friends. How sweet.”

Tori and I gave her the bare minimum of a response for courtesy’s sake. Aiden took his sister’s side as the dark knight drowning in black. An oversized shirt and coat hung off his body.

“Care to join us, Cupcake?” Mischief crept along his face. “You can bring your… pet.”

Mallory snorted.

“Screw you, dude.” Tori’s mitten hand didn’t possess any digits but I had a feeling I knew which she held up.

“Where are you going?” I asked, not actually interested but curious where anyone went dressed like that.

“Business gathering for dad,” Mallory said, “We show our faces at his dinner parties, but the real treat comes afterwards. Come if you’d like. I’m not responsible if anything happens to you.”

She flashed us her fangs and Tori’s stuffed body shifted deeper into my neck.

“Have fun with that,” I said, “We have our own plans.”

Mallory whipped a strand of her hair back, seemingly unsurprised, but her older brother pouted his lips. “I guess Cupcakes make for better desserts, don’t they?”

It sounded like a joke but the way he sucked in his lips made my stomach drop. Even his sister rolled her frosty eyes at that. “It’s unsettling seeing you so desperate, Aiden,” Mallory jabbed, “Let’s go .”