Chapter Four

Hospitals were normally carefully controlled chaos.

Between being a building full of people who were all talking or shouting, and moving back and forth (all in a rush), as well as equipment and carts being shuffled through the halls, I hadn’t expected the little slice of tranquillity that was the maternity ward.

The walls were a soft pastel, and the door was closed so that the sounds coming from the hall were barely a low hum. But none of them registered as more than a blip to me, because I was holding my son in my arms for the first time.

“Finn,” I whispered down to his scrunched up little face. “I’m your mommy.”

There were so many emotions all squished up in my chest that my ribs hurt, and it was the sweetest pain I’d ever imagined. My hair was a sweaty mess—plastered to my scalp, my body felt like I’d just been hit by a truck. I was beyond exhausted, but… well, none of it mattered. All that mattered was the little person in my arms. Tears of pure joy were still rolling down my cheeks, because the emotions had to go somewhere or I was going to burst apart at the seams from sheer love.

I’d never known I could love anyone the way I loved the perfect, amazing, incredible baby boy in my arms.

He had a tiny fuzz of white hair on the very top of his head, his eyes were blue like a kitten’s, and he was the longest and skinniest little guy. And I was instantly in love, laughing as he stared up into my face.

“I’m going to try to be the best mom ever, Finn,” I whispered to him. “I’m sure I’ll mess up along the way, but I want you to know that I will never love anything or anyone more than I love you.”

There was something in his eyes that said he understood, even though that was impossible.

Regardless, I couldn’t stop smiling.

It was the best day of my life.

###

I woke up smiling so wide that my teeth felt dry and there were still tears in my eyes.

The sun was just starting to peek through the lacy curtains of my windows, the sheets were just the right side of warm, and I felt so good, the few happy tears now sliding down my temples. The memory of the day that Finn had chosen me as his mom was so close, so fresh and so new, I felt like I could hug it to my chest. It felt like it had happened yesterday…

“Well.” I ran my tongue over my teeth to get some of the moisture back, but still couldn’t stop grinning like a fool. “I guess that means Memento Mori is a success.”

This calls for some bacon and eggs, I thought with a grin as I got up and threw on my robe and headed downstairs. Finn’s door was still closed and I could hear the sound of him gently snoring, so I figured I’d give him a few more minutes before I had to get him up for school.

Ten minutes later, and breakfast was ready. I was just setting the bacon onto a paper towel lined plate when Finn came clattering down the stairs.

“Mom, have you seen my blue notebook?”

I slid two over-easy eggs onto a plate, and added three strips of bacon and two pieces of buttered toast.

“Check under your backpack.”

“Oh, there it is. Thanks, Mom.” Notebook in hand, Finn walked over to the table and his eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the breakfast laid out for him. “Whoa. Is it my birthday?”

I looked at him and laughed. “You know it’s not your birthday.”

“Well, whatever day it is, I hope it happens a lot more—I can’t remember the last time I got such a great spread for breakfast.”

I laughed again and pressed a kiss to the top of Finn’s head, surprised to see he was already up and dressed and ready for school. Usually, I had to twist his arm to get him up.

“So, what’s the special occasion?” he asked.

“No special occasion.”

“Did Andre propose or something?” Finn asked, eyebrows reaching for the ceiling.

“No, silly.” And at the thought of Andre proposing, I felt… well, warm. Usually, the thought of marriage left me nothing but cold (I’d come from a bad one). But the thought of marriage to Andre? Well, that felt… good.

“So?”

“So, I just had a really nice dream.”

“A nice dream?”

“Yes. I dreamt about the day you were born—which was the best day of my life and always will be.”

“Mom, now you’re bordering into the realm of cringe,” Finn answered.

I shook my head as I laughed and Finn piled in another piece of bacon into his already overstuffed mouth. “Anyway, cringey mom aside, the dream was from a new potion that I brewed last night. And the good news is that I’m pretty sure the potion worked.”

“Cool,” he mumbled around a mouthful of toast. I gave him a look, and he finished chewing before he opened his mouth again. “Oh, hey, I need you to sign my permission slip for–”

“—already signed, and tucked into the front pocket of your backpack.”

Finn gave me an amused look. “Are you psychic now, too?”

I just laughed and had another sip of my coffee as I thought about the fact that I needed to go and get ready for work.

Twenty minutes later and Finn and I were ready to get a move-on. I dabbed a little bit more of the Memento Mori potion on my temples before heading out the door to drop Finn off at Haven Hollow High School. The smoky scent of lavender was very soothing, and I seemed to be in a constant state of gratitude and happiness, owing to the dream from the night before. As I shifted my hair, I caught the notes of the vetiver which had a nice sharpness to it, that somehow also reminded me of grave dirt, just a little bit. But it didn’t feel morbid at all—more like clean, dry earth. Peaceful. And refreshing—like waking up from a long nap.

I wasn’t sure if it was the new potion, but the day passed by fairly quickly. And I sort of sailed through it. Doing inventory seemed easier and more interesting than I ever remembered it being. What was more, I could remember all the mental notes I usually had to jot down. But it was like there was now a list in my head—of ingredients to reorder and potions to brew. And just looking around the store, it was like being haunted by the ghosts of fond memories past. Memories kept surfacing and each one was happier than the last—I was visited with images of the first time I’d set foot inside the empty store—when I’d seen all its potential, and what it could mean for Finn and me. Then I remembered the first time I’d seen the store with the shelves and glass cabinets in place, Henner, R.J. and Marty helping me get everything into place. And Marty… I had so many happy memories of him. Even though things hadn’t worked out between us in a romantic sense, I still cared about him and always would. And things seemed to be getting to a better place between us. He’d taken it pretty hard when I’d ended things and he’d also needed time to himself. But it seemed that time did heal all wounds because lately we’d felt more like we used to.

The next memory to visit me was of the night I’d heard scratching on the shop door, and found a book that thought it was a dog, asking to be let inside. I then remembered the first time Wanda had come in to buy a few potions to use for her enchanted clothing business.

It wasn’t anything like an eidetic memory. I wasn’t taking snap shots with my mind that would never fade. The potion just made all my memories a little crisper around the edges—made them a little easier to recall and when I did recall them, they were more vivid—not as faded with time. I couldn’t remember ‘everything’ I’d ever experienced, and quite frankly, I wasn’t sure I’d want to. I had a few memories I was glad were dulled by the passage of time. But still, the results of the potion were a noticeable thing, and I was thrilled it had worked.

Shortly after lunch time, I glanced up and saw Niamh and her granddaughter making their slow way down the sidewalk towards my door. With a smile, I grabbed the two bottles of Memento Mori and waited for the sound of the tinkle of the bell over the door.

When Niamh saw that I was waiting for her with potion bottles in each hand, Niamh’s face lit up, her eyes almost vanishing into a nest of wrinkles.

“Oh, goodness me!” she said as soon as her granddaughter opened the door for her. “You’ve done it, then?”

I brought my stool around to the other side of the counter and then helped her onto it. “I did,” I said with a big smile. “I followed your recipe as instructed, and I even tested it, just to make sure it worked.”

“Wonderful, wonderful!” Niamh said as she clapped her old hands together. “Oh, I’m so pleased. I wasn’t sure I’d ever find someone who could make it.” Naimh reached out with gentle fingers that trembled only slightly and took one of the bottles from me. Then she turned it around until she could read the tag, her smile broadening even more. Then she looked up at me. “What do I owe you, dearie?”

Her granddaughter made a sour face.

Normally, my potions were very reasonable. Most of them hit the top of the scale at ten dollars (something Wanda constantly complained about, because she thought I was short-changing myself). The candles could be a little bit pricier, since beeswax isn’t cheap. But in this case, I had an idea of what might be fair for a woman who was most likely on a budget.

“How about this,” I started. “What do you say, if I give you both bottles on the house, in exchange for being able to use the recipe and sell Memento Mori in my store?”

Niamh blinked and folded her hands on the top of her cane. “Well, of course you can use the recipe, dear. But that still seems hardly fair. You used oils, ingredients that cost you money, not to mention your time.” She shook her head. “You must let me give you something.”

“Trust me, a new recipe is worth its weight in gold to me,” I answered with a shake of my head. “I’m very grateful. So, please, just take them. I hope they work out well for you.”

She squinted at me, rolling her tongue over her teeth as she thought for a long moment. “Well, it still doesn’t seem quite fair to me, but if you insist, I’ll gladly accept.” A twinkle came to her dark eyes, and she smiled again. “And who knows, I might find myself remembering a few more of my gran’s recipes. If I do, I’ll be sure to come by and give them to you.”

I tried not to show how ridiculously overexcited that possibility made me, but I did grin. “I’d like that very much. Thank you, Niamh.”

She chuckled and waved off my thanks. “Not to worry, dear. I’m sure you’ll be hearing from me again. Now, I’d best be heading out. It’s time for my stories.”

Jenny rolled her eyes. “Game shows don’t have stories, Gran.”

“Never you mind.” Niamh braced herself with a hand on the counter and the other on her cane and pushed herself to her feet. “Be a dear and carry those for me, Jenny?”

I grabbed a little gift bag from under the counter and wrapped both bottles separately in tissue paper before tucking them inside the bag. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Jenny, but potions could be fragile things, and also dangerous if they weren’t handled with care. Wanda had found that out last year, when a trip and a spilled potion had blown up her store. She’d lost her front window, and one of her dress mannequins. Of course, she’d also gained a shape-shifting mannequin come to life, so maybe it all worked out in the end.

Jenny took the bag with surprising care, only peering inside before she slid the handle to the crook of her arm like a purse. She took Niamh’s arm and escorted her grandmother slowly towards the door. I had to give Jenny credit, because she didn’t rush Niamh or look impatient while escorting her. And she gave her gran a helping hand over the low door stop. It was clear Jenny cared for Niamh and that was sweet.

I helped a few more people that afternoon—one was a woman who was having trouble sleeping. She nearly fell on the Sweet Dreams anointed candles, and promptly bought three of them. Then there was the gentleman who wanted some zest potions—I had to tell him there was a six-potion limit, because other people needed them too.

I’d just finished wrapping up the man’s potions, watching his jittery hands with concern and making a mental note to try weaning him off them (sleep was always a better answer than an antidote), when my phone chirped in my pocket.

I waved my customer out before I checked the text. My heart gave a little flutter when I realized it was from Andre. He was asking if I had a moment for him to call.

There was no one else in the store, and no one lingering outside, so I sent him a reply of ‘Sure!’, and only a few seconds later my phone was ringing.

“Hi.” I felt weirdly breathless—the same way I always felt around him. All of a sudden, the memory of our first kiss flickered through my head, vivid enough that my lips tingled. “How are you?”

“Much better, now that I’m hearing your voice.” I could hear the smile in Andre’s voice, the way it softened that posh English accent.

“I’m much better too,” I admitted, feeling heat rising into my cheeks like a teenager with her first crush.

“I was wondering if you might be free for me to steal you away for the evening?” Andre continued.

“Oh,” I started. “Well, Finn—”

“—Poppy,” Andre interrupted. “Whenever I invite you anywhere, you know Finn is always included in the invitation.”

I couldn’t help my broad smile. “Thank you.”

He chuckled. “Anyway, I was hoping you and Finn might come over for dinner? I thought I might try my hand at cooking for you both.”

He wanted to cook for us? That was big, wasn’t it? It felt like it was big. “Well, Finn has plans tonight,” I started. After another night of cramming before his big test this afternoon, Finn had told me he wanted to go to ‘the guys’ house to play video games, and ‘blow off some steam’. The guys were Henner and R.J., and that would mean eating too much pizza, and probably listening to R.J.’s latest sasquatch conspiracy theories. “But I’m still available,” I finished.

“And you could bring Finn back some dinner,” Andre said. “As long as it’s edible, that is. I never said I was a chef.”

I laughed. “I’m sure you will excel at cooking, just like you do at everything else.”

“I wouldn’t be so certain,” he chuckled and then grew quiet for a few seconds. “I can’t wait to see you, Poppy.”

I couldn’t keep the sappy smile off my face. A flock of butterflies took wing in my stomach, as I realized this would be one of the few times that Andre and I spent an evening together alone. In spite of my excitement, I couldn’t help but feel a little prickle of nervousness. “I can’t wait to see you, too.”

It wasn’t like I didn’t want to be alone with Andre—it was just that we’d be in private and unchaperoned by my teenage son and I knew what that could mean—what it most probably meant. Andre and I hadn’t had the chance to do more than kiss in the past, and while that was enough to make my toes curl as I now remembered our kisses in vivid detail, the sudden possibility of more had me just a bit apprehensive.

Andre was my soulmate, the other half of me. I’d even seen the magic twining around us like red ribbons binding us together. I knew he was my person. Just like he knew I was his. And sex, of course, was part of that. And I wanted to experience it with him, but I just felt like there was a big expectation about it. And that made me nervous. It wasn’t like I was a prude or anything—I’d had sex with Marty and with Roy, for that matter. But I knew sex with Andre would be different. But bad different or good different? Would I be disappointed? Would he be disappointed? I didn’t see how I could be disappointed, really—everything about Andre was wonderful. But what if he had expectations?

“Poppy?”

I realized I’d been quiet for a little bit too long when Andre prompted me, and I gave myself a little mental slap. I was way overthinking things, as usual. This was Andre. True, we hadn’t really known each other that long, even if it felt like I’d known him my entire life. But we had a soul knowing—that was the best way of putting it. Even if the years hadn’t been there between us, something else was. Something cosmic. Something that was meant to be.

Whatever we did, it would be perfect, because it was Andre and me. I just needed to stop overthinking things and stop worrying and just allow things to happen. I cleared my throat, trying to fight back the blush I could feel creeping up and into my face. My skin always liked to turn bright cherry red at the first hint of embarrassment, so it was good there was a phone line between us.

“Are you overthinking things?” Andre asked.

I laughed. “I swear it’s like you’re in my head.”

“I suppose in a way I am—I can feel your emotions through our connection.” He paused. “Don’t overthink things, please. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do or anything you aren’t ready for.”

“What if I am ready for… it and what if I do want to do… it ?” I giggled self-consciously. “God, I sound like an idiot.”

He chuckled. “You could never sound like an idiot, Poppy. And… I will take your lead. How is that?”

“That’s… that’s good.” I swallowed hard and decided to change the subject so I didn’t melt into an embarrassed puddle right there. “Can I bring anything?”

“Just yourself,” he said, sounding very pleased. “I’ve got everything planned. All you need is an appetite.”

“I can’t wait,” I said, and it wasn’t a lie. “I’ll be there after work?”

“Sounds marvelous. Until then.”

There still weren’t any customers in the shop, so after I hung up with Andre, I checked the time. Finn would just about be leaving class, so I sent him a text to make sure that his plans were still on.

What I got back was mostly a string of emojis, but I managed to piece together that, yes, he was still going to Henner’s with R.J., that they were about to pick him up, and that soda, candy, pizza and video games were all in his near future. There were also some firework emojis, and a smiling face with a sweat drop, and some that I didn’t really understand, but I took them to mean that Finn thought his test went well.

I was glad. He’d been putting a lot of work into something that wouldn’t affect his own grades, but he still thought was important. When something was important to someone (even the school), Finn put in the effort. He was a good kid. Well, at nearly sixteen, he wasn’t even much of a kid anymore. More a young adult.

That thought was enough to bring the sting of tears to my eyes again.

The smell of rich earth and flowers filled my nose, and the sudden memory caught me off guard. It was Mother’s Day, back when Finn was only four or five. Old enough to know the general idea of what the day was about. He’d made me something with modelling clay, and to this day, I didn’t know if it was a cat or a race car, but the way he’d offered it to me, beaming with happiness, that was seared onto my heart forever.

With a laugh, I brushed my fingers across my temple where the potion lingered. The stuff was really living up to Niamh’s promise. I hoped it worked as well for her.

I reluctantly brushed away the memory of mother’s day and went back to tidying up the store. I was glad Finn was on his way to a relaxing evening with people who wouldn’t let him get into any trouble. He deserved some fun.

I’d hoped that moving to a small town would be good for us, and for the most part, it really had been. I loved Haven Hollow and all the friends we’d made here, the home and the life we’d built. But sometimes it felt like one crisis after another. Hollows were supposed to be safe places, where humans and supernaturals could live in peace, but that just didn’t seem to be the case anymore.

New people were flooding into Haven Hollow by the day, and that made me a little nervous about what was going on in the big scary world. I wasn’t plugged into the magical goings on like Wanda was. Technically, I was only human, even if I also had a little bit of power in me that set me apart. Even I knew that magical people were scared, though, and hurrying for a place they thought of as a safe haven.

There were even rumors that people from the new, recently formed Hollows down south, were flocking to Haven Hollow, which didn’t bode well for the other Hollows. It made me uneasy to think about the reasons why everyone was coming here. What could be happening that people would abandon the Hollows they were in? Especially given the fact that Haven Hollow wasn’t exactly a safe place.

No offence to my home, of course. There were a lot of really good people here. But we also had vampires from Portland circling, a whole court of murderous faeries causing trouble as they tried to get at the princess of the Winter court, even though she’d told them pretty plainly that no way was she running off to play royalty. There were curses, and monsters, and a whole lot of violence. So, what made this look like the better option?

I shook off the dark thoughts that were lingering like storm clouds. It wasn’t a night for worrying. I had a date, a solo date, with the most wonderful man I’d ever met. All the usual troubles could wait—at least for one night.

I nibbled on my lower lip as I arranged a pillar candle with some of the silk flowers I’d picked up for a display, thinking again that I was going to be alone with Andre. In his home. Together. Just the two of us.

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the little zing of excitement that was tingling up my spine.

Maybe instead of going straight to his house after work, I’d stop in at home to freshen up, just a little, first.

Just in case.