CHAPTER 14

ajay

I woke with the birds, eager to start the morning off with a surf with Nick. I'd missed being out on the board with him yesterday but then again, I wouldn't have exchanged even a minute of the day on the boat for the world. It was probably right up there with the best days I'd ever had.

Nick was waiting for me with our boards and his big smile by the time I made my way outside. I wondered how he always managed to beat me down here, always one step ahead of me.

The waves were pumping this morning and I felt a braveness come over me that told me I could tackle them today. Maybe it was something I had borrowed from Nick, this self-belief that he had in spades but was something I could sorely do with more of.

I was riding a high by the time we came in an hour later. I knew Nick had a work training course today so we'd had to come in a little earlier than normal. I reckon I could have stayed out for another hour at least.

Nick jumped under the cold shower while I used the hose to rinse off the boards. My eyes snagged on Nick as he tipped his head back into the water, running his hands through his long hair. Every muscle on his chest caught me in its thrall as the water snaked down over those pecs and the ridges of his abs, down the valley of that v that led into his board shorts.

He turned off the tap, eyes alighting with a smirk when he found me looking. The hose was still dripping in my hand so I did the mature thing after being caught out staring and sprayed him with it.

"Oh you did not just do that," Nick said, mock outrage on his face.

"Do what?" I asked, playing up the innocence I knew I could pull off in spades. He took a step towards me and I sent another spray of water at him, watching as it bounced off those washboard abs of his.

"Just remember, Ajay," Nick purred, prowling towards me like a panther as my heart caught in my throat, "you asked for this."

He reached for the hose and I spun and lifted it out of his grasp and sprayed him again, both of us laughing as we tussled for control of the hose. I still controlled the nozzle even though Nick had immediately overpowered my wrists and I managed to spray him a few more times in our struggle.

Nick grunted before manhandling me up against the wall of the house, his larger body crushing mine in a way that had my blood pulsing. I was not done fighting yet, still grappling for control until Nick pinned my wrist to the wall above me, a triumphant grin on his face as he pushed my thumb on the nozzle and the water rained down over my head.

We were both panting from our tussle, laughter on both our faces until things seemed to slowly shift, awareness tipping me off my feet right into the deep end. The smile dropped from my face as I held Nick's darkening gaze, awareness filtering through me as the water trickled over both of us. Those pecs of his I had imagined touching were pressed up to mine, his abs a hair's breadth from mine, his free hand gripping my hip as those ocean blue eyes searched my face.

And just like that, the world screeched to a grinding stop, suddenly tilting and tipping me off balance as gravity tugged me under. White noise was buzzing in my ears, the sound that was telling me that I was a little less intelligent than I maybe thought I was.

Because as it turned out, standing there pressed up against the wall by a firm, lush body, water cascading over us both as those blue eyes pierced me to my soul, I realised with boneshaking clarity it wasn't jealousy I'd been feeling towards Nick. It wasn't envy of his incredible body and his many talents and his approach to life. I didn't want to be like him.

I wanted him.

Wanted him like he so clearly wanted me as his eyes dipped to my mouth, just like my eyes had dropped to his. How had I not noticed this? This want? This need that was flooding through my veins, pulsing from somewhere deep inside me.

It had been there the whole time between us, literally flaring right in my face in front of me. I'd mistaken it for something else. Something else entirely.

I didn't stop to think this through the way I maybe should have. I'd always been quick to act once an idea presented itself in my mind. I knew Nick wanted me. I'd felt it in every look, every word, every lingering touch between us. I felt it now in the heat in his eyes that were fixated on my mouth.

And he needed to know that I wanted him back.

I closed the distance between us, my lips finding his before I could overthink it. Nick didn't move for all of two seconds, enough time for me to worry I had grossly misread things. But I didn't have to worry for long before he was suddenly kissing me back, an explosion of fire and heat, a clash of our mouths as he kissed me back with everything he had.

The hose dropped to the ground as he loosened his hold on my wrist, his hands coming to grip either side of my face as mine went into his long locks. He tilted my head just the way he wanted it, tongue demanding entrance. I let him in, tongues clashing, kiss deepening, rocketing from zero to sixty as all that antsy itchiness I had been feeling exploded to life and told me that this was what I'd been waiting for.

I wasn't sure I knew what a kiss was until that moment, when Nick showed me everything I had been missing out on. His kiss was an all of body experience, one that shook me from my head right to the tips of my toes. I'd never wanted anything more than I wanted this kiss and the way Nick was kissing me back, controlling me, owning me in that moment, told me he felt the same.

I wanted, I wanted, I wanted. More of him, more of his touch, more of his body, more of his kiss and his tongue that was in my mouth, tangling for dominance with mine. Oh, how I wanted.

A door slammed in the distance and I jumped, breaking the kiss at the same moment. Nick pulled away from me, both of us panting desperately for air as he leant his forehead against mine. I didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say in that moment as I tried to calm my pounding heart, my blood still spinning out of control as my world slowly righted itself.

And Nick? Well, Nick just looked down at me, a smirk on his insanely gorgeous face as he casually moved his hand all the way down my chest to grip right onto my very hard, very aching dick over the top of my shorts. I gasped as he clasped around me, an evil smile covering his usual smirk.

"Definitely not soft," he commented. And with that, he turned and left me standing there, just a sodden, turned-on, bunch of pounding hormones and my entire world suddenly exploded.

Nick was gone by the time I made my way back downstairs after the shower I had taken in a total daze. My head was a swirling mess of intangible thoughts, nothing sticking long enough for me to really think out exactly what had just gone down outside.

But my body knew. My body was reminding me in every possible way of what it had just done, how completely turned-on I was feeling from that mind-bending kiss. How I had never been kissed like that before. How I had never been more turned-on in my entire life.

How very, truly, achingly unsatisfied I still was.

I tried to take care of my needs myself but I knew it was useless. The second I thought about that kiss again my dick started to firm up until I accepted it would be a losing battle.

I somehow found myself standing in the kitchen, scratching the back of my head as Dane talked to me. I felt out of place in my own skin, that itchy, scratchy feeling back in full force and letting itself be very well known. Telling me in no uncertain terms exactly who was to blame for those feelings of restlessness I had not known how to name.

Until now.

"Earth to Ajay," Dane said, blinking in front of my face.

"Sorry, what?" I returned, trying to laugh off the fact I had been off with the fairies.

"I was saying I'm meeting up with Hector again before he goes back to Sydney tomorrow. You want to come with?"

"Oh. Right. Yeah, Hector was it?"

"What is wrong with you, man? You are so spaced out. Did you knock your head with the surfboard this morning or something?" Dane asked. His face was amused but equally perplexed as he looked across the kitchen counter at me. That made two of us.

"Must have been too much sun yesterday out on the boat," I shrugged, trying to laugh it off.

"And that is exactly why I stay planted on terra firma," Dane quipped. "Well, that and a variety of reasons too many to enumerate. So, you want to come or not?"

"Ah, yeah, sounds good," I agreed if only to give my mind something to dwell on other than that kiss that I could still feel tingling on my lips, swirling in my stomach.

Dane had put on a nice shirt and dressy chino shorts, about as fancy as you could get in a small surfing town like this so I ran back upstairs to change into something nicer than the boardies and tee combo I had settled into really fast down here. I noticed Dane was wearing a pair of nice boat shoes too but I didn't own anything that classy. I assumed my Vans would be preferrable to my flip flops though.

Dane gave me a quick once over as I descended the stairs, making me feel a little self-conscious but he didn't say anything as I followed him out to his BMW.

"You ever ride a motorbike?" I asked him as I rolled down the window, wanting to feel the fresh air on my face.

Dane scoffed. "Hell no. I don't have a death wish."

"They're actually kind of fun," I muttered, some weird part of me wanting to stand up for the motorcycling community. Or at least, one particular member of it. "And great for the whole parking issue."

"Yeah, not for me, thanks," Dane replied as we were directed by the parking rangers into the paddock on the outskirts of town. We made the long walk into town and I tried to enjoy the scenery instead of thinking about how a motorbike would have gotten us right to the front door.

The day was hot and humid and I was a little sweaty by the time Dane and I arrived at the Beach Club. It was just as snooty as I remembered and I tried not to laugh as I thought of what Nick would say if he was here beside me. In fact, I knew for sure that Nick would have taken one look at the place and turned right back around.

I probably would have followed.

Hector was already there, sitting out on the deck under one of those blue and white striped umbrellas. He looked as cool and sophisticated as Dane with his slicked back brown hair and a pair of aviators over his navy shorts and white, short-sleeve linen shirt.

"Dane," he enthused, standing to hug his friend. Hector's eyes drifted to me and I did not fail to notice the way they grazed all the way down my body to my feet. Why? Why did I notice that Hector was checking me out when I hadn't picked up one tiny little hint from Nick? He'd flirted with me for the past ten days and I'd still not realised.

"And you must be the friend, Ajay?" Hector asked, holding his hand out to me to shake. I had to admit he was really nice to look at but he was way too neat for me. Not that I'd had a chance to think about guys in that way for more than thirty seconds but I already knew this at least.

"Nice to meet you," I replied.

"You too," he returned, holding my hand for slightly longer than necessary. Dane and I took our seats and I tried to ignore the way Hector's eyes still lingered as I flicked open the vast drinks menu and pretended to peruse.

"What do you boys want?" Hector asked, sitting back in his seat like it was a throne. "My shout."

"That's not necessary," I replied.

"I insist," he returned. "It's not every day I get to sit out in the sunshine with two gorgeous boys at my disposal."

"Whatever, dude," Dane laughed while I shifted in my seat. "But seeing as you're paying, I'll have a whisky gimlet."

"Ajay?" Hector asked, leaning on his elbows towards me.

"Ah, just a beer please," I ventured.

"Really? You can have whatever you want," he returned, and no, I did not miss the innuendo. What was wrong with me? Two days ago I had a feeling this flirting would have gone straight over my head. Was I really that oblivious?

"A beer would be great," I repeated, closing the menu with a finality as I smiled tightly at the two guys who were watching me closely.

Hector waved down a passing waiter and ordered our drinks. He and Dane picked up on a conversation that must have started yesterday while I listened in with half an ear. I was pretty sure that was all I'd be able to give to anyone today. Anyone who was not Dane's brother at least.

I wondered what Nick was doing, whether he made it to his safety course okay. Was he thinking about me the same way I was thinking about him? Was he thinking about our kiss? Or the way his hand had felt when he gripped my hip, so large and firm and … different.

"Guitar, right?" Hector was saying to me. I looked up to see both him and Dane looking at me, waiting on an answer to a question I hadn't heard.

"Yep. Guitar," I confirmed, taking a punt.

"I'd love to hear you play sometime," Hector returned, grinning down his aviators at me.

"Ajay is amazing," Dane said. I shot my friend a pleased smile. "Way better than me at any rate."

"Don't sell yourself short, Dane. You wouldn't have made it through the auditions if you weren't any good," I replied.

"I'm okay," he shrugged. "Not your level good but I'm okay with being just okay."

"Maybe we can all get together again when we're back in Sydney and Ajay can play for me," Hector said. "Lucky for me that's tomorrow."

"You don't like it out here?" I asked, unable to hide my surprise. What was there not to like?

"Too much sun and sand for me," Hector replied, taking a sip from his cocktail. "Reminds me of growing up."

"There's sun and sand in Sydney too."

"Yes but it's far more easily avoided than out here where it's just so in your face," he returned. "Plus, it's always been far too small for me. You agree with me, Dane."

"I do," Dane said with a nod. "Give me concrete, skyscrapers and exhaust fumes any day of the week."

I was about to launch a strong defence of their home town when the waiter returned with our drinks and the conversation paused. The waiter buzzed around us, setting down serviettes and glasses and hovering a little.

"Do you need anything else?" he asked, attention on me despite the fact I had not done any of the ordering.

"No, I think we're fine, thanks," I replied. The waiter smiled at me before turning and leaving the deck.

"Man, that waiter was seriously crushing on you," Hector grinned, squeezing a drop of lime into his Tom Collins.

"What? No he wasn't," I returned, feeling a faint flush cross my cheeks.

"He so was. Don't be surprised if he asks for your number before we leave. He might need to get in line though. Pretty sure I was here first." He said it with a grin on his face that was casual enough I couldn't quite tell if he was being serious or not. But Dane chuffed out a laugh as he looked at his old friend.

"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but you're barking up the wrong tree there," he said. "Ajay's straight and he has a girlfriend."

"Ah well. Worth a shot," Hector just grinned back at me before lifting his glass and taking a sip. Not exactly heartbroken then.

"Ex-girlfriend," I mumbled, needing at least that part of Dane's statement clarified. The other part of it was, well, that part was still out with the jury being furiously debated as we spoke. What a day to be contemplating one's sexuality.

Dane shot me a look but didn't comment as he added to Hector, "Don't worry too much. Boys always try and flirt with Ajay but he's totally oblivious."

"They do not," I protested, feeling that flush deepen.

Dane just laughed. "They so do. Don't you remember Jonno from year twelve band? Or Steve in Culture Studies? You literally crushed his heart when he found out you had a girlfriend."

"Steve? I thought he was just really friendly," I blanched.

Dane snickered again. "He was friendly because he wanted to get in your pants. I don't know what it is. You're like gay nectar or something. You just don't realise it."

"He certainly is that," Hector added so suggestively that it was all I could do but laugh.

Except now I was wondering if that was true. And maybe, just maybe, there was a little part of me inside that was revelling at the idea that someone like Nick would think of me in that way.

Oh boy, what a day to be alive.