CHAPTER 11

nick

"Do you seriously expect me to get on that?" Ajay was saying while I rifled through the cupboard in the garage for a spare helmet for him. Hopefully one that wouldn't ruin all those gorgeous curls.

"Ah, yes, that would be the plan," I replied, trying to hide my smile at the worry on his cute face as he stood looking at my motorbike. Seriously, it was a Yamaha Super Sport, one of the safest on the road. Believe me, I would not risk Ajay's safety on anything but the best.

"Don't you have a perfectly good, brand new Jeep Wrangler around here somewhere?"

"I do but have you tried to drive through the town at this time of year?" I asked, turning to face him. He looked so adorably cute in his bright blue boardshorts, a pair of black Vans and a green t-shirt that made his big brown eyes look even more soulful. As if that was possible.

"So you want me to get on that?" he asked again. I just grinned, finally finding the white helmet I was after and stepping towards him. He stood perfectly still as I planted it on his head, brushing a loose curl under the lip and knocking the visor down.

"I know what I'm doing, Ajay," I told him even though that was the clearest lie I'd ever spoken. I had no fucking clue what I was doing with this boy, about all the things I had accidentally said to him in the boat shed just now. What had I been thinking, letting my thoughts about him spill clear out of my head? "I'll keep you safe," I added, tugging on a curl that had found its way free.

He let out a longsuffering sigh. "I know you will."

"Good. Now be a good boy and put this on," I added, thrusting my spare riding jacket at him. He pulled the leather jacket on over his arms and I had to turn back to the cupboard for a moment to still my beating heart at the sight of him standing there in my jacket. I liked it way more than was healthy for a guy lusting after his brother's straight best friend.

I pulled my own jacket on over my tank top and then climbed onto the bike, patting the seat behind me and indicating with my head for him to climb on. He hesitated for half a second before climbing on behind me. I willed my body not to react, to just pretend it was Rob back there and not my gorgeous, sexy Ajay. That it was not his thighs pressed up against mine or anything else back there I was trying not to think about.

I glanced back at Ajay, smiling as he seemed lost about what to do with his hands. So I solved that problem for him, taking hold of one and guiding it around my waist. He caught on and did the same with his other hand, clasping on tight. Pulling our bodies even closer together.

"Hold on," I grinned as I started the engine, revving her a couple of times before I released the throttle. The bike shot forward and I heard Ajay curse in my ear as he gripped even tighter and I tried not to think too hard about the fact he had his arms around me.

This bike rode as smooth as a panther but could shoot like a bullet train if I pushed her hard enough. But I refrained myself, not wanting to give the guy on the back of my bike any reason to not want to get back on with me again. Slowly I felt Ajay relax behind me, loosening his vicelike grip enough to tell me he was maybe enjoying the ride and hopefully getting out of his head the way I'd hoped.

Tomorrow was New Year's Eve and Espy was absolutely bursting at the seams, well beyond its capacity or ability to cope with the influx of tourists. I hoped Ajay appreciated the motorbike all the more as we passed the outskirts of the town where parking rangers were directing droves of cars into paddocks for the long walk into town.

As expected, all the touristy spots were filled to the brim as I carefully guided the bike down the high street and into the ever reliable back alley behind Paddy's. Paddy's was just off the high street, hidden enough to make it unattractive for tourists but close enough for the rest of us to appreciate.

I parked the bike and waited until Ajay had climbed off before I dismounted. I couldn't help myself from removing his helmet for him and then mussing his curls a little like I'd been wanting to do since day zero. Yep, they were as soft as I'd imagined.

"There. Perfect," I said, hoping he didn't notice the rasp in my throat. Ajay said nothing, waiting for me to lock up the helmets before I turned to face him. We shucked off our jackets and I noted the way his eyes drifted to my biceps which I'd purposely kept on show for him. Looked like I'd found another way to distract Ajay. Interesting. "Now, want to see where the real locals drink?"

"Definitely," he agreed, eyes shifting back to my face, that smile of his that was enough to stall a man's heart.

I led the way inside, returning the many hellos and call outs from the locals as their eyes drifted between me and the very cute boy at my side. I kept my distance from him, not wanting to start any rumours that sadly had no truth to them.

Terry was behind the bar like I expected for a Thursday and he grinned at me as I approached.

"Hey, Nick," he greeted, looking straight past me to Ajay as he looked around at our old favourite drinking hole. I suddenly felt a bolt of nerves that he wouldn't like the place, that maybe he preferred the types of places Dane would have taken him to. "The usual?"

"Two schooners of the pale ale on tap thanks, mate," I answered, trying to ignore the knowing smirk Terry sent my way as Ajay came to stand beside me. It was wishful thinking. This small, gossipy little town couldn't keep a secret even if it tried and the big, burly guys in this pub were the worst gossips of the lot.

"I got it," Ajay said, pulling out his phone as though I was going to let him pay.

"I don't think so, darlin'," I scoffed. "Your money's no good here."

"Pretty sure that was part of the agreement," he returned.

"No, the agreement was that you would come out for a drink with me," I pointed out. Believe me, I'd been the one to carefully craft the wording, so I knew.

"Not quite sure how that works," Ajay replied, a little tug on his pouty lips.

"You just got your heart broken," I returned. "The least I can do is buy you a drink to drown your sorrows."

"Whatever," he laughed. Terry of course chose that moment to place the schooners on the bar, obviously not missing our little chat as he winked at me and I pointedly ignored him.

"I'll put it on your tab," Terry said while I led Ajay over to the old velvet sofa, only just remembering to remove my hand from the small of his back after half the pub had seen me touch him.

"So, this is your local hang out?" Ajay asked, an appraising eye roving around the old building, our grand old dame.

"It is."

"I love it," he said. And no, I should not have put so much stock in Ajay's opinion but I felt an immediate sense of relief and joy come over me at his approval.

"Yeah?"

"Definitely more up my kind of ally," he told me, a smile tugging on his face that had me wanting to know more.

"You've been hanging out with Dane too long," I guessed, taking a sip of my beer.

"Correct. Your brother has very expensive taste," Ajay confirmed. "It's almost impossible keeping up with him with just my part-time barista job."

"I bet. Sydney is an expensive city to live in."

"So expensive," he agreed. "It wasn't so bad when I was at school. I was living in the boarding house and Mum was still paying me an allowance. It's a lot harder now although Dane is super generous with his money. I don't think I could survive if it wasn't for him."

"Does your mum not give you an allowance anymore?" I asked, picking up on something in his words.

"Ah, no," he confirmed with a nervous laugh. "That all dried up after she got married to Tim. But it's okay. I've got the job at The Local Brew and my scholarship pays for all my books and my tuition fees."

"So, your mum marries this guy, Tim, and suddenly just stops supporting you?" I asked, eyes narrowing on Ajay. His eyes dropped to the little table in front of us but his casual shrug belied the truth of his feelings on the matter.

"It's okay. I get it."

"No, that's bullshit," I said because of course I couldn't just leave him to deal with his family issues on his own. "Surely marrying this guy would have made your mum's financial situation better? Like having someone else contributing to the mortgage and the living costs?"

Ajay just shrugged again and I knew to drop it. I said nothing as I watched him battle some emotion, fingers itching to touch him, make him feel better.

"I've kind of gotten used to it anyway," he finally said, a false bravado to his words.

"Gotten used to what?"

Ajay shrugged again. "Feeling abandoned I guess."

I swallowed. I had to clench my fingers into tight fists to stop myself from reaching over and pulling him into me as my pulse beat low and steady in my gut.

"Ajay," I said instead, waiting until those big brown eyes looked up at me, an honesty in them that had me wanting to fall to my knees. "I know we haven't known each other all that long but I … I want you to know that I will never abandon you. You can always rely on me for whatever you need."

He didn't say anything but I saw the way he swallowed as a glassy sheen came over his eyes.

"I feel like I do know you though," he said quietly while my heart decided to stampede like a herd of elephants.

"Good. I feel the same." I didn't think I could get much more out than that without telling him more than he wanted to hear. Way more than he wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to get all serious," he muttered, forcing a smile as he took a sip from his glass with slightly shaky hands.

"I know. I mean it though," I added, unable to help myself shifting a little closer until my knee touched his. I just had to have some contact with him, even as small as this.

"I know you do," he replied steadily. And just that little statement of fact, that trust he had in me lifted my heart up like nobody else could have done.

This guy was just such a gem of a human and something about him made me want to burn down the world for him. Keep him safe. Protect him from the people that would hurt him, a number that seemed to keep on rising by the day.

I had been in no hurry to return Ajay to the house, back to where someone else had a higher claim on him. I didn't think I'd ever been more jealous of my brother in all my life.

I was still bloody angry at Dane, not so much for the way he had treated me. I expected that shit from him. No, I was palpably furious about how he had not backed the guy who was supposed to be his best friend. That was exactly what friends were supposed to do for each other – have each other's backs. And he'd seriously let his best friend down, a slight I could not easily forgive.

Ajay and I stayed at the pub for a couple of hours, talking and laughing and sharing a few more drinks. Kept it light hearted after it had gotten a little serious earlier on. I'd switched to coke half way through, knowing I'd made a promise to keep Ajay safe.

He'd seemed happier about getting back onto the motorbike afterwards and I'd taken the opportunity to take him for an extended drive down along the coast, further south to Ives Inlet and Sorrento, to parts he'd never seen. I wished I could have seen his face when we rounded the twists and turns of the road, the infinite expanse of the blue Pacific almost an assault to the senses.

The sun was low in the sky by the time I drove the bike back into the garage, regret sparking all over when Ajay removed his warm body from where he had been pressed up against me. Although my body could do with a little cooling down if I was completely honest.

I helped him with his helmet and rider jacket, hanging them both back up on the pegs in the cupboard. I turned to find him watching me, hands shoved in his pockets and a look I couldn't decipher on his face.

"Thanks for today," he said quietly.

"Anytime, Ajay," I told him, needing him to know.

"I really need a friend today and you gave that to me."

"I meant it. Anytime."

He sucked in a smile and I swallowed, throat drying out. "Now I've gone and made it all serious and moody again," he laughed.

"You don't have to pretend with me," I told him. "I can do real."

"Yeah," he said, eyes shifting to the ground. "I know you can."