CHAPTER 6

Jamie

"I might have to love you and leave you in a sec, buddy," Bill said as he knocked back the pint of beer I'd just bought him. "Got myself a hot date tonight."

"Do you? More's your luck then," I chuffed, sipping on my own beer. "Is it still called a hot date when it's with your wife of five years though?"

"Mate, when you have a toddler and a three month old at home, any time you get alone is a hot date and my woman still has me hooked something fierce," he grinned, downing the last of the beer in his glass.

"Well, I hope you have better luck with your love life than I do," I grinned back, forcing that smile onto my face.

"Still no sign of your hot Italiano then?" Bill asked.

"That would be a no," I returned.

"Ah well. Guess it wasn't meant to be then, hey?" Bill tried to sympathise, patting me on the shoulder with a heavy hand. It was all right for him, knowing he had a warm bed to sink into tonight.

"Guess not."

It had been two weeks since my night with Mateo. Two weeks of thinking about him and wondering why I couldn't put that night out of my head. I mean sure, I was not the standard hookup kind of guy. Usually I liked to get to know a guy first before I moved things into the bedroom. But I had never been more hypnotised by any man the way Mateo had hypnotised me. And I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him since.

"Right, well, don't sit here drinking alone for too long, yeah?" Bill returned, hovering at my shoulder.

"I'll be fine. Go meet your beautiful wife while I finish off my beer in peace," I laughed. Bill gave my shoulder one final pat before he grinned and left. I let out a sigh, eyes wandering over this little pub Bill and I had met in for a drink after our shift.

I was back in Esperance, had kind of felt myself drawn to this town for reasons I cared not to consider too deeply. But I liked this sweet Irish pub anyway, regardless of the town's other attractions. Paddy's had been something of an institution in Esperance for many years and was one of the rare places that had not sold out to the tourist market the way many other establishments had done along our part of the South Coast. It had a great list of Irish whiskeys, cheerful beers on tap and old fashioned décor. Kind of unfashionable and unpretentious at the same time and something about this place had always felt like home.

I was just about to call it a night and head home to my apartment two towns over in Sorrento when I felt a fresh breeze of air followed by that intoxicating scent I had inhaled before. Warm, spicy, vanilla-cocoa.

I glanced up at the entrance, eyes widening when Mateo entered the room, his two friends at his side who were sharing a laugh together. I couldn't quite remember his friends' names but my eyes stuck on Mateo, memories filling in all the gaps in my mind that had somehow chosen to diminish his perfections. Because he was clearly not of this world and minds were really adept at filling in gaps and making him slightly more ordinary.

He was not ordinary. Not in any sense of the word.

He was in a black leather jacket, not the biker kind, but the sort you'd expect to see on a runway model which was not a bad description of his entire outfit. He wore light blue jeans and a plum coloured top that was loose around his neck, showing off that olive skin tone. That gold chain still hung around his neck. The one I had last seen as he lay underneath me while I ploughed his sweet body.

My mouth was as dry as the inland Australian desert before he finally looked up and our eyes connected. Mateo's steps faltered and I relished the idea that I had been the cause of that. His friends must have noticed me at the same time but I only had eyes for Mateo. The roommate, Rob, I think, led the way, kind of beelining towards me and forcing Mateo to follow. I would try to remember to give Rob some kind of gift basket for that if I could get my mind into gear.

"Jamie! Our favourite paramedic," Rob gushed, moving right up beside me at the bar. Despite Mateo's runway wardrobe, his other two friends were much more casually dressed, both in board shorts and surf tees like most of the guys wore around these parts.

"Nice to see you again," I said. "Rob, right?"

"Good memory. It's been a few weeks since I last saw you sneaking out of our house in the wee hours," Rob grinned. Mateo's face paled and he visibly baulked at Rob's statement, leaving me to wonder what his reaction was about. Did he regret our night together?

"Always fun doing the walk of shame," I grimaced.

"It's great you're here actually," Rob continued smoothly, "because we have a serious pool tournament to continue and could do with a fourth player. If you're game."

My eyes flicked to Mateo, nothing in his body language encouraging me to agree. I hesitated. I didn't want to force anything with a guy who had no interest in seeing me again. That wasn't me. If someone told me no that was always good enough for me.

I was about to politely decline when Mateo looked up at me, those inky eyes almost pleading with me to stay. What was that about? I seriously could not read this guy. So hot one minute and cold as ice the next.

"I don't know," I hedged, deciding to force Mateo's hand. "What do you think, Mateo?"

"Of course Mateo wants you to play," Rob cut in, arm trailing over my shoulders. "He is very shy though and sometimes needs a bit of a push."

"Seriously, Rob," Mateo muttered under his breath while the third friend hid a laugh. Mateo shot him a look and he immediately straightened up.

"I'll stay if Mateo wants me to," I returned. Mateo's eyes lifted to me again and I almost liquified on the spot. Nope, I had to get my head into gear and start thinking straight around him or else I was going to fall into his trap again very quickly.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed with a quick nod. "That would be great."

"Okay then," I said, trying to hold back my breath of relief. "I'll buy the first round in that case."

"Excellent," Rob enthused, clapping me on the back. "Mateo here will help you with the drinks while Nick and I go lay claim to our pool table."

Nick, that was it – the other friend's name with the long surfy hair, tan skin and friendly smile. He and Rob sauntered off together while Mateo hovered at my side, an unsureness about him that I hadn't seen the last time we'd met.

"How are you?" I asked, deciding I would have to just try and coax him out to play.

"I'm good," he replied, adjusting the hem of his jacket.

"How is your boss going? I checked in on him a while back and he seemed to be recovering."

"He's doing okay," Mateo nodded, a brief smile crossing his face. "He's on bedrest which he absolutely hates but his wife is militant at following the doctor's orders."

"She sounds like the best kind of wife in that case," I said, sharing a quick smile with Mateo.

"She is," he agreed. "But, ah, with Dante off work I've been really busy keeping the firm running so, um …"

Hmm. Was this some kind of apology for not calling me? A really endearing, half attempt at an apology at any rate. Which I was a little too eager to accept.

"I can only imagine," I told him. "So, what do you and your friends like to drink?"

"Nick loves the pale ale on tap," Mateo readily replied. "Rob will probably go for the same."

"And you?"

"I'll have a vodka soda," he said, that hint of shyness back on his face.

"Perfect," I grinned. I signalled to the bar tender who exchanged a brief greeting with Mateo before I filled in our order, adding another pale ale for myself. I paid for the drinks and then Mateo helped me carry them over to where his friends had commandeered the old velvet sofa in front of the fireplace that was still unlit at this time of the year. Rob had already set out pool cues for everyone and was busy chalking them up.

"Cheers, mate," he said when I handed him the glass. "How's your pool game?"

"Certainly not at serious pool tournament level but I hopefully won't disgrace myself," I returned.

"Sounds good. In that case you can be my partner," Rob continued with a nod. "I know you'd probably prefer to partner with Mateo but this is for the best. Don't want to scare you off from ever coming out with us again."

"In other words, Rob's a pool shark who would otherwise wipe us off the table," Nick added with a warm smile.

"Hey, no complaints from me," I grinned.

"Are we ready to start?" Rob asked, moving to the top of the table.

"Just let us have a drink first yeah, little eager beaver," Nick answered, leaning back on the sofa. Mateo was still hovering at the side of the sofa and I wasn't sure what to do until Nick patted the seat beside him and I took it. Nick's phone pinged and he instantly became distracted with whoever had texted him. I gestured for Mateo to take the spot beside me and he hesitated, eye's whipping to Nick before he moved and sat on the sofa, keeping a safe distance of space between us.

"So how do you guys all know each other?" I asked. I eyed Rob for the answer given that Nick was still distracted with his phone and I got the impression Mateo wouldn't volunteer the answer either way.

"Best friends since school," Rob said with a nod as he leaned back against the pool table.

"Really? That's cool that you're all still friends."

"The absolute best. But you want to know the best thing about hanging around these two in high school? The girls went mad for them. Like, literally mad. We had fan clubs and girl fights and everything. And as the interest was not exactly, reciprocated , well, you can bet your bottom dollar I was always right there in the shadows ready and waiting with open arms for a shoulder to cry on when these two inevitably let them down."

"In other words you wore the girls down until there were no other options left," Nick chimed in.

"We all benefited from that arrangement," Rob returned. "Don't pretend you didn't."

"What a lovely thought," Mateo added, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Always begging for our sloppy seconds."

"Not just begging but happy to take them too," Rob laughed.

"So what's the moral of that story then?" I couldn't help asking, amused at the conversation and deducing from it that Nick was also gay which I hadn't picked up on until then.

Rob leaned in close and dropped his voice. "Always be the one straight guy in the group."

"Rob, geez," Mateo grimaced, glancing around as though to ensure we were out of earshot.

"Can't say I've ever been the straight one in the group before," I quipped.

"Well you're in good company here," Rob returned with a wink while Mateo squirmed in his seat and looked away. Hmm.

We started the game and I quickly realised that these three took their competition rather seriously even though it was all done in good humour. I knew I was letting Rob down with my wayward shots but Mateo and Nick didn't seem all too concerned and Rob was too nice to say anything. Besides, Mateo was unfairly distracting each time he leaned over the pool table and I got a full preview down his top to all that lovely olive chest, his golden chain dangling loose.

Nick spent a lot of time answering messages on his phone, a soft smile on his face that contrasted with the scowl Mateo shot him each time that phone pinged.

"Are you playing pool or phone tag?" Mateo finally challenged him when Nick hadn't realised it was his turn.

"Ah, sorry," he said, pocketing his phone and lining up to take his shot.

"That's okay, Tempe," Rob returned. "I have no issues with Ajay distracting you and putting you off your game."

"He's not putting me off my game," Nick returned as he pocketed the pink ball. "See?"

"How is your boy anyway?" Rob asked conversationally. "When's he coming back for a visit?"

"He's exceptional and he should be able to come visit in the April term break," Nick answered.

"Where does your boyfriend live?" I asked, more to keep the flow of conversation going.

"He's up in Sydney doing a music degree," Nick told me proudly.

"I've never done long distance. That must be hard."

"It really is," Nick agreed just as his phone pinged again. At least that explained all the text messages. I couldn't imagine a long distance relationship would be an easy thing to do. I glanced across at Mateo, his eyes glued to the floor, avoiding our conversation like he wanted nothing to do with it. A few things started clicking into place around me.

I watched a little more closely as Nick lined up for his next shot, Mateo's eyes back on his friend as pain and longing flickered across his face. It was gone in an instant, back to that aloof nonchalance he had perfected but I had seen enough.

By the end of the first couple of games I had surmised two things. One, Mateo was not openly out, at least outside of his small circle of friends, and two, he was very much hung up on one of those friends.

It was at this point that I started to seriously consider making a retreat. This seemed like a complicated mess and I wasn't sure I was the right man to delve into those murky waters. Even if part of my soul was openly weeping at the thought of never having a taste of Mateo again.

But no, nope – I was not that shallow . Now repeat and this time, believe it.

But just as I was plotting my exit plan, I was waylaid by Rob once more who yawned with an exaggeration that belonged on the stage.

"Hey, Tempe, reckon we should call it a night?" he said to Nick. "We have that early start in Ives."

"Yeah you're probably right," Nick replied, instantly playing along.

"Jamie, you mind giving Mateo a lift home?" Rob asked, casual as could be. "Nick and I are on tradie time."

"Ah sure," I replied before I could think of a reason why I shouldn't. Mateo was practicing shots on the pool table when he looked up in alarm at Rob, signalling to him with some kind of non-verbal communication. Rob just winked at him before pulling Nick to his feet and waving goodbye before they made a hasty exit.

"Sooo. Looks like it's just us," I stated, opting for the obvious.

"Looks like it," Mateo returned, awkwardness descending.

"You want another game or another drink?"

"Definitely a drink," Mateo answered quickly. "Don't breathe a word to the guys but I don't even really like pool all that much. But it keeps the friends happy."

"Another vodka soda then?"

"That would be great."

I ordered another round of drinks and then waited until Mateo had taken a seat on the sofa before I sat beside him, leaving a respectable gap between us.

"You seem really different from your friends," I probed.

"How so?"

"Well, they look more like the kind of guys I'd expect to see down here on the coast. You look more like you should be on a runway," I offered, trying to gauge his reaction.

He just shrugged one elegant shoulder, the motion casual but seductive enough just like everything else he did. "I was not born here. In case that was not obvious."

"No, I picked that up," I laughed. "You're from Italy?"

"Originally, yes," he said. He gave me nothing more but I waited it out, hoping to prompt him into offering something without me having to extract it. He took the hint. "My parents moved here when I was thirteen. My dad had lost his job and there was no other work available around where we lived. We knew of some people who had made the move out here to Australia. Dante and Giulia among them. I knew basic English when we arrived but Rob and Nick took me in the moment I set foot in high school."

"You're lucky," I told him. "And have you always had a thing for Nick?"

"What?" he asked, panic tracking across that breathtaking face. I hadn't meant to be so blunt but I kind of wanted to know too. Wanted to know how deep what he felt for Nick was. Whether I should walk away now. Or whether I should maybe stick around for a bit and see.

"I'm not judging," I quickly amended. "I could just … tell."

"You could?" he asked, that panic only rising.

"Relax. Only because I was looking closely."

"Oh," he said, those slim shoulders drooping. "It's just … well, I don't know. I don't know what it is."

"Were you and him together?" I asked gently.

Mateo sighed and looked away, that pain on his face like a fresh wound. "Yeah. We were."

"Ah." I had not actually expected that. I had assumed it was an unrequited type of longing, not one where they had actually been together. I couldn't help but wonder how their friendship had survived something like that. Unless it had just been casual but the way Mateo had been looking at Nick did not suggest that.

"How long ago?" I prompted.

"We broke up six months ago," he told me. Six months? That was a long time to still be pining over someone. "And then he got with his new boyfriend recently."

"Ah. So it still feels fairly fresh then I guess?"

"Something like that," he agreed, those shoulders still slumped.

"Hey, I'm sorry," I said, shifting closer towards him but hesitating before I put my arm around his shoulder. "I didn't mean anything by asking."

"It's okay. It just is what it is."

"You want another one of those vodka sodas or you want me to take you home?"

"I've probably had enough. I have an architect firm to run tomorrow after all," he said.

I could see he was trying for a smile but it all seemed a bit too much for him right then and I couldn't help my heart hurting for him a little. I guess even someone as beautiful as Mateo could still get their heart broken at the end of the day. Nobody was immune from that.

"All right then. Let me take you home," I said, standing and leading him out the front door.