15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Elias

Twenty One years old.

Jarman stormed into my room, pinning me with a glare and pointing at my chest. "You stole my hoodie! I've been looking everywhere for that. It's my favorite."

I wrapped my arms around myself, protecting the hoodie in question like he’d reach forward and snatch it right off my body. I couldn't help it. When I woke up that morning, the chill in the air had called for something warm and comforting, and Jar's hoodie seemed to embody everything I needed. It felt like it held a piece of him within its fibers, radiating warmth and security. Maybe it was a few sizes too big, but in that moment, it was mine—and I wasn't about to give it up.

"You can't have it back," I snapped, my voice firm, though internally I felt a pang of guilt for my possessiveness. I was like a magpie, refusing to let anyone touch my treasures.

"Eli, that's my favorite hoodie," Jarman whined. "It's worn in just enough to be perfectly comfortable."

“I know!” He reached forward and I shook my head adamantly. "Nope. I'll buy you a new one. This one is mine. You can borrow it, but only long enough till it gets the Jarman sparkle back, then it's mine."

Frustration flickered across Jar’s face before he relented. "Eli… ugh, fine. You owe me."

A smile tugged at the corners of my lips. "I'm happy to be forever in your debt."

Present

I wasn’t sure how I got from the kitchen to my bed—my mind was that hazy. My eyes were dry, head pounding from crying. I listened closely, waiting for the click that meant Shane had left yet again. But that sound never came. I felt like a kid again, waiting to hear my parents go to bed so I could climb out the window and sneak into Shane's room, just so I didn't have to sleep alone. My parents were none the wiser—I was always back before they woke.

But Shane’s parents knew. His dad often got home late from work, and I would pretend to sleep whenever he opened the door to check on Shane. He never said anything, only tucked us in and kissed us both goodnight. It wasn't until the memory resurfaced that I realized I never missed that contact from my own family—because I got it from the Jarmans.

When I heard the patter of bare feet on my hardwood flooring, my heart picked up speed with each step. There was a moment of pause before Shane opened the door, like he was at the precipice deciding whether to cross the threshold or not. I shushed my betraying heart when he did. He unzipped his pants, and a knot began to tighten in my belly. Heat pooled low, the same heat that washed over me when I wrapped my legs around his waist in the kitchen. The sound of Shane undressing rang out in the quiet room, and I was barely breathing as he crawled into bed with me. I ran cold at the best of times, a fact I once tormented him with. I lived for warming my feet on his thighs as we shared a bed in our younger years. Oh, who was I kidding—I even did it in college. I pang went through me to think that he once loved me, and I’d been teasing him all these years.

But before my mind could spiral, Jarman wrapped his strong arm around my waist and pulled me close to his arm body. “Jesus, you're freezing.” He mumbled in my ear, pulling me tighter. I shuddered—and it wasn’t because I was cold.

The combination of his warmth, the intoxicating smell of cedar and soap, and the feel of the rise and fall of his chest behind me had my eyelids growing heavy. But for the first time in what felt like a year, I didn’t feel alone.

My hips rocked back involuntarily, grinding against the hard length pressed against my ass. The combination of that and his strong arms holding me had blood rushing south. I wasn’t sure why but my body sought out the contact. I tested out the feeling again. Shane groaned this time and my body flushed red hot. I released my grip on his hand, sliding it between my legs and cupping my… hard dick—extremely hard. Well that's new.

That realization had my eyes shooting open and I jumped from the bed, grabbing my sweats and running to the bathroom.

I stood in the mirror, my panicked expression looked back at me.

Footsteps followed me and Shane called through the bathroom door, sounding just as panicked as I felt. “Eli, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Only… I wasn’t uncomfortable. I was looking down at my cock straining against the fabric of my briefs, seeming to have woken up from hibernation. I didn’t understand. Shame swept over me as I tried to make it make sense.

I’d kept my own secrets from Shane—from everyone. Because how does one tell people that a young athlete in his prime had trouble getting it up? I knew I found girls attractive. They were beautiful and who didn’t like boobs? Asses are great too. Same when I looked at guys, but I never had an urge to fuck them—regardless of gender. I was all talk in the locker room because I did like girls… It just needed some time to get hard. It was infuriating during high school. There was nothing worse than a girl holding onto you and nothing happening. My own hand? Sure, no problems. But I couldn’t pinpoint what it was with other people. Casual hookups consisted of me “getting ready” in the bathroom—until Jenna. I couldn’t say what it was about Jenna that drew her to me, but I wasn’t without my problems with her either—which she so happily pointed out. That just made it feel like I’d failed—again.

“Eli, please say something.”

I was looking down at my crotch, wanting to ask my erection where the hell he’d been. Instead, I pressed a palm to it, suppressing a moan. “It's fine,” I called back. “Everyone gets morning wood.”

Shane huffed. “I appreciate you letting me off the hook but not everyone wakes up to one grinding into their ass, I’m sorry.”

I wished he would stop saying that, because I wasn’t sorry. If my head wasn’t such a mess, I might be chasing that feeling—chasing what more with Shane would feel like.

“It’s fine, really. I’m just going to take a shower.” And take care of the problem you gave me.

“Okay…”

I stripped, unable to look in the mirror. Though my cock standing at attention in front of me took my attention away from the sight of my ribs—that definitely weren't visible last month. Shaking my head, I turned the shower to scalding and hopped in. I let out a sigh as the heat hit my frigid body. It reminded me so much of Shane’s warmth and my dick jumped at the thought.

I closed my eyes, picturing us in the bed again. Reminding myself of the way his cock felt grinding into my ass. My hand passed across my chest, my mind imagining that it was his, wondering what his calloused hands would feel like brushing over my nipples. My hand continued south until it wrapped around my shaft. I bit back a groan, the mental image of Shane’s hands on me too much to bear. It only took a few strokes to have me blowing so hard I saw stars. My free hand flew out to catch myself the tiled wall, my breath heaving as I milked every last drop from my cock, not wanting to waste an ounce of the euphoric high.

As the orgasm wore off and I came back down to earth, I watched my release get rinsed away, wondering how I’d ever be able to look Shane in the eyes again.