10. Clementine

Clementine

The trauma bay was in chaos, a flurry of activity as we fought to save the victims of a horrific multi-car pileup on the highway. I had been working non-stop for hours, my hands moving automatically as I tried to stem bleeding, restart hearts, and keep limbs stable for surgery.

We had lost three patients already, and the fourth—a young woman under twenty-five—was slipping away despite our best efforts.

I felt heavy as my eyes took in everything around me, the silence deafening even as mouths moved at what looked like rapid speed.

For a brief second, I closed my eyes and took a breath.

You got this, Clem.

“Page Dr. Roker or Dr. Lang, whoever is closest to finishing their current surgeries,” I instructed, jumping back into the thick of it as I carefully removed my gloves. “Her scans are showing swelling on the brain—”

“I’m available,” James cut in, entering the room with his gaze on the girl. “I saw her scans…” he gloved up and moved to the head of the bed. “Let’s get her to the OR.”

I watched the nurses help him adjust the bed for transport, my fingers tight as the man I was supposed to marry did everything but make eye contact. James had been skating around me since our talk a week ago, sleeping in his office instead of at home. We spoke when it was about work, nothing more or less.

Did he think avoiding the inevitable would work?

With a shake of my head, I reminded myself where we were. No matter what James and I had going on, the job came first.

And despite the rough start to my double shift, I was prepared to take on the rest of it without fail.

Later, after the ER had calmed, I chatted with the charge nurse about a peculiar case. As we discussed which specialists to call for a consult, I felt a presence behind me and turned.

James stood there, his expression unreadable.

“Dr. Warren, can I speak with you for a moment?” he asked, tone detached.

I nodded, excusing myself from one conversation, to start another I wasn’t sure about.

James led me to a quiet corner of the ER and I immediately began to speak.

“How did the surgery go?” I queried, trying to keep things light.

“She’ll pull through,” he replied tersely. “That’s not what I wanted to discuss.”

I sensed where this might be going but still uncertain. Why did we have to talk about it now? And at work?

“Alright. What is it?”

James took a deep breath, his eyes finally meeting mine.

“Clem, I care about you deeply,” he started. “You’ve been an important part of my life for years now. But...” he paused, seeming to struggle with his words. “But I think maybe we’ve been fooling ourselves. About what we have, about what we want.”

I nodded slowly, relief filling me.

“I’ve been struggling to come to terms with it,” he continued, stepping a little closer. “But maybe, taking a break and figuring out what it is we want is best.”

There was so much to unpack and I wasn’t exactly sure where to start. Like the possibility of him giving me what I wanted and pretending he felt the same or…

“What does a break entail?” I asked for clarity.

“I think it’d be best if I moved out,” he said without hesitation. “One of my parent’s rental properties is available and they’ve offered it to me.”

I stared at James, a mix of emotions swirling inside me. He had clearly thought it through and part of me wondered if this was what he wanted from the beginning, something he’d either been too scared to admit or oblivious to see until I initiated it.

This wasn’t a break, and we both knew it—this was the end.

“I think you’re right,” I said. “We both deserve to be happy, and if we’re not finding that with each other, then...”

James nodded, his shoulder’s relaxing.

“I’ll start packing my things after this shift end. I can be out by the weekend.”

“There’s no rush,” I assured him, even as a part of me longed for the space to sort through my jumbled emotions. “Take whatever time you need.”

We equally owned our home but that was a conversation for another day.

He gave me a sad smile. “Always so considerate, Clem. It’s one thing I’ve always admired about you.”

We stood there for a moment, the weight of years together and an uncertain future hanging between us.Even so, I reached for his hand and squeezed it gently.

“I’m sorry, James,” I whispered. “I never meant for this to be the outcome.”

He squeezed back, eyes softening.

“I know. And I’m sorry, too. For not being enough.”

As he released me and turned to walk away, I felt a chapter of my life closing, while another sat slightly ajar, waiting for me to indulge.

“Dr. Warren?” A nurse’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “We have a patient asking for you specifically.”

I nodded, pushing my personal life aside to focus on work. “Of course. What’s the situation?”

As I followed nurse Chen, my mind was already shifting back into doctor mode.

“The patient said he knows you,” she explained. “He came in with a pretty deep gash in his hand that’ll need stitches. Nothing too serious, but he was adamant about seeing only you.”

She pushed back the curtain before I could ask more questions.

Leyland sat in the chair instead of on the bed, a blood stained towel wrapped around his left hand.

Our eyes met, and I felt a weird calm wash over me. He did that, made me feel at ease in his presence.

“Dr. Warren,” Leyland whispered, a sheepish smile on his face as he moved to sit at the edge of the bed. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

“That would mean you have to stop getting hurt,” I mused with a smile as I headed straight for the sink to wash my hands.

“I’ll get everything you need,” nurse Chen said before leaving the room.

I approached Leyland slowly once my hands were sheathed.

“What happened?”

“Stupid accident in my studio. I was moving some old canvases and one of the frames was broken. Basically, the canvas fought back and I couldn’t stop the bleeding.”

Despite myself, I chuckled and gently took his hand in mine, carefully unwrapping the towel.

“Art can be dangerous, I see.”

As I examined the cut, his scent—a mix of paint and something uniquely him—filled my senses. Why did he have to make me feel dizzy whenever we were in close proximity?

“You’ll definitely need stitches,” I told him, pressing around the wound.

Nurse Chen returned with the suture kit, and I set about cleaning and numbing the area. As I worked, I could feel Leyland’s eyes on me, his gaze intense.

“How’ve you been today?” he asked, voice low.

I glanced up briefly, meeting his eyes.

“I’m... okay. It’s been another long shift.”

“I’m sorry to add to your workload.”

“Don’t be,” I said, focusing back on his hand. “This is what I’m here for.”

As I began stitching, Leyland spoke again. “I’ve been thinking about you. About our walk through the garden.”

My hands stilled for just a moment before I forced myself to continue. It’d been almost a week since our meetup and I’d wanted so badly to see him again but afraid to ask.

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” I admitted quietly.

“Clementine,” he murmured, and the way he said my name sent a shiver down my spine. “I meant what I said. Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

I finished the last stitch and looked up at him.

“It’s okay,” he went on as words evaded me. “You don’t have to say anything right now.”

“Ask me out on a date,” I requested, deciding to go for it before I chickened out.

He stared at me, head tilted and lips slightly parted.

Maybe it was insane to do this right after my conversation with James, but there was no backing out of it now. And why should I wait to explore something… someone I can’t stop thinking about?

“What did you say?” Leyland asked slowly.

“Ask me out on a date,” I repeated without pause.

“Are you sure? I really meant what I said about taking your time.”

I nodded, a small smile pulling at my lips.

“I can tell you more about why I feel comfortable with my request later, but I’m sure.”

He didn’t waste more time and obliged.

“Will you go on a date with me, tiny? Actually…” he shook his head, the fingers of his uninjured hand caressing my arm. “Can I trouble you for an entire day only for me?”

“You may…” I took a small step back. “I’m off next weekend. Sorry, it can’t be sooner. It’s been hectic around here lately. We are short staffed and overworked.”

The double shifts were literally kicking my ass, but I kept that part to myself.

“That means I have more time to plan,” he said coolly.

“Mmm,” I hummed as I removed my gloves and tossed them, my body slightly facing the half opened curtain.

And that’s where I spotted James, standing with his back to the nurses’ station—eyes on me. From the expression dancing in them, he’d heard some or all of my conversation.

He turned away before I could say anything, but what was there to say other than me needing to see this thing through with Leyland, no matter what.

Because it was exactly what I needed.