Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
I 've done the impossible, escaped the pack and those relatives who sought to keep me under
their thumb.
I hold my head high as I wait my turn in the endless line of college graduates meandering across the stage in alphabetical order.
I, a female beta wolf placed at the bottom of the food chain, set out into the human world outside of our town and rewrote her destiny. Pride blooms in my chest.
Clawing my way up from the bottom of the Thostenson pack, I fought against the archaic, chauvinistic laws to escape the cruel landscape of the small town in Wyoming to be here in the Appalachian Mountains of Tennessee.
I peer through the tall windows in the back of the auditorium and admire the tall oak and maple trees that stand as sentinels to the forest I often wander.
Humid air threatens to double the size of the natural curls I straightened and add dew to the faces of the women around me. In the south women don't sweat, we glow.
Proud faces stand out in the crowd, reminding me of what I don't have. To get here, I exploited forgotten laws cashed in a chunk of my inheritance, and burned bridges.
Every risky move led me to the raised stage, making it all worth it. As they often do, my thoughts drift to my family.
Mom and Dad always encouraged my affinity for art. Running my thumb over the burn scars on my wrist that match the rest of my body, I fight the water threatening to flow from my eyes.
Survivor's guilt is a concept I understand logically, but will never completely work through.
Sorrow rushes in like a wave. Grief is a funny thing. Never fully over, it ebbs and flows. I hope you're proud of me wherever you are.
Sara Elizabeth Esham. A group of olive-skinned men and women wave cheer loudly, waving banners with Sara's name.
A twinge of jealousy and pain hits me. I lost my family before I understood how precious they were. As children, we take so much for granted, because we've yet to know the agony of having those we care about ripped away.
I'm not the only one in the pack. I think of all the friends I'd lost to the illness targeting women in our people.
What comes on like a cold, can quickly turn deadly. Friends who had been fine one day were being buried in the weeks that followed. I learned more about death in my early years than some knew in a lifetime.
What would they be doing now had they been afforded the opportunity to grow? I run my fingers over the emerald green sash that both contrasts and coordinates with my black graduation robe.
A strange emptiness leaves me feeling hollow on a day that should be joyous. There are some wounds time won't heal.
I let the moment pass as I swim through the current of what-ifs. No! I won't linger on things I can't change. Refocusing, I toy with the billowing sleeves of my gown as time drags.
Impatient to be out of the limelight, I tap my foot and cross my arms. Thinking lighter thoughts, I sweep the unfamiliar faces until I find my roommate. Keziah is the only person in the crowd celebrating my achievement.
Her pale hazel eyes lighten. She waves at me. Flashing the infectious white grin that spreads joy like sunshine, Kez chases away the gloomy musings encroaching on my mind.
The curly lilac-haired sculptor had been with me since our first year. I never intended to let anyone this close, but she wore me down. Her beautiful bronze skin, cat-shaped eyes, and giant afro puffs stand out.
Which is saying a lot at an art school full of creatives. I fade into the sea of women and men who have hair the color of the rainbow, unique styles, and many piercings. My plain dark brown hair and fresh face free of make-up are unremarkable by design.
I'm the last person anyone would take for a supernatural being. There are certain rules even I'm not willing to break. Allowing humans to learn about our existence is at the top of the what-not-to-do list.
"Ylva Bodil Eskildson." Keziah's voice rises above the polite applause as I walk across the stage. A hulking figure in the crowd draws my attention.
I meet the icy blue gaze of Cadoc, an elite enforcer for the pack, and one of my father's closest friends. Sympathy softens the harsh planes of his diamond-shaped face.
His thick dark brows dip down as determination erases any trace of humility. No. His presence v iolates the agreement I brokered.
There was to be no contact other than my check-ins. The pack didn't send their top enforcer to have a chat with me.
They're going to try to take me back. Numbness spreads through my body as I disassociate. Suddenly, I'm a passenger in my body as I cross the stage.
I shake the dean's hand, responding to his polite queries, as I plot an escape. Walking past him with my degree in hand, I rush down the stairs.
At the bottom, I take a sharp left, ignoring the usher waiting to guide me back toward my seat.
Blowing by him, I shout over my shoulder, "Sorry. Bathroom."
Men pull away from the crowd as I fast walk through the crowded auditorium. On the opposite side of the room, I push open the double doors.
In the hallway, I break into a full sprint, clutching the scroll I sacrificed everything for. This is my ticket to freedom. It's coming with me.
Deep down, I always expected this. Happiness has eluded me like a ghost since the fire burned away everything good in my life, trapping me behind a cage of fates' making.
The campus is a ghost town. Storefronts are empty, sidewalks are free. I push my body to its limits.
Tapping into my wolf's strength, I cover ground in a way no human could, blurring to the human eye. Using my power is a gamble I'll take to procure the backpack that houses everything needed to start my new life off the grid.
Plans of an apartment and a fresh start with my best friend circle the drain like dirty water. Stupid girl, hoping when you know you're cursed.
The voice in my head sounds a lot like Aunt Gerda. Shoving the shrill banshee to the back of my mind with my past, I round the corner and burst through the front door of the apartment building.
Sprinting up the two flights of stairs, I use my shoulder to break the door in. I have no time for keys and locks.
Inside, I dart through the hall and into my room. The sickening ammonia-laden stench of blockers assaults my senses, burning my nostrils and eyes.
Coughing, I lift my arm and try to breathe through the robe. The closet door flies open. Hangers clatter to the ground, and clothes drift to the floor.
A giant of a man emerges like a golem dressed head to toe in black steps forward out of the shadowy space. He moves forward in a dizzying blur, wraps a strong arm around my waist, and lifts me from the ground.
I kick my legs. Desperate, I sink my teeth into his arm, breaking the skin. Thick, salty, metallic liquid gushes into my mouth. He releases me to apply pressure to his wound.
"Little bitch," the man yells.
I land on the floor with a thud and roll away. Clearing the doorframe, I abandon my paperwork and money.
Scrambling to my feet, I run down the hallway toward the front door. I have to reach my car. Cadoc strides in my exit, followed by a group of muscular men who smell of the Thostenson pack.
I'm no match for their combined strength, but I'm not going down without a fight.
"Why are you here? Alpha sanctioned my time here." I throw the official words out like a shield. It's been four and a half years, why are they showing up now?
Cadoc ignores my words. "And now your family is calling you back home, where you belong."
"No." I haven't fit in since they found out I was a dud.
This must be a nightmare. The man I looked on fondly growing up, cannot be the one speaking to me like a stranger.
"As the only Eskildson able to reproduce and carry on the family legacy, you have a duty to uphold the traditions and continuation of the Thostenson pack," he recites robotically.
"According to who? My uncle and aunt do not get to make that call. Cadoc, please."
"No." He drops his cerulean gaze to the floor. "But Alpha does."
"You lie."
What the hell would our alpha want with me? Our politics are filled with the notion of things being done for the greater good. A beta wolf with no talent to speak of. I'm amazing at creating art, but that will not better the pack.
"I asked for this extraction to ensure it went smoothly. Are you going to make a liar out of me, Yl?"
The childhood nickname on his full lips enrages me. He's trying to use our connections and memories to tame me.
It's a sick betrayal. I won't let him place me back in manacles because he brings up memories that give me the warm fuzzies.
Growling, I snap my teeth at him.
"You can make this easy or hard. Either way, you're coming back home." Cadoc's voice is melted butter, easing over my frayed nerves.
I fight against the compulsion he works into his words effortlessly. A powerful alpha in his own right, the older wolf is one of the best at what he does.
"Should I feel flattered you choose to honor my father by forcing his only daughter into a life she doesn't want? I was declared an independent pack member, which means I get to choose my path."
He flinches. I'm happy to see him hurt.
"Stay back. Ylva is mine," Cadoc commands the other men.
"Wait. Don't hurt her." Kez's frantic voice drifts in from the hallway.
"This is pack business, vampire. You've fulfilled your part of the deal," a tow-haired man with icy dark blue eyes says.
"What?" I whisper. I peer through the crowd and meet her shame-filled gaze.
"Oh, you thought you'd made a friend?" The tow-haired man chuckles. "No. We paid her to
pretend and report your every move. You never escaped the pack."
It's all been a carefully constructed lie.
The truth crashes down on me like a pile of bricks, extinguishing the fight that's driven me for the past four years. I'll never run fast enough to evade their long reach. Sever your ties. Renounce your pack.
Considering the devil on my shoulder, I open my eyes to reject the pack. My throat swells to silence me. We're tittering on the verge of extinction as the magic wains and births continue to decrease.
I can't deliver a killing blow to an entire group for the sins of a few. Eyes darting around, I weigh my options.
Books and laws helped me once before. They can lead me to a loophole again if I can be patient and diligent. Breathing hard, I calculate the odds. Shit.
Spinning, I charge toward the window, holding my breath as my body crashes through the pane. I land in the green shrubbery.
Sticks gouge me, and my body aches from the impact of the thick bushes. Ignoring the cuts from the slivers of glass, I force myself to keep moving. I untangle myself from the greenery wrapping around my body like helping hands.
On my feet, I run for my car. Pulling the keys from my pocket, I hit the key FOB and hop inside the small forest green sedan.
The remote starter is worth every penny. Shoving the key in the lock, I throw the car in reverse and pull out. I speed up as the wolves race toward me.
They're not playing by the rules, and neither will I. Tires squeal as I take a sharp left and head toward the entrance.
The wolves play a game of chicken with me, leaping to the side when they realize
I'm not going to stop. I clip the blonde bastard who laughed at my pain and smirk. He'll be
healed in minutes.
A massive weight slams down on the car's hood, bringing the rear end up in the air as it dents. My front windshield cracks. I gasp at the sight of Cadoc, fist down, and blue eyes ablaze with rage and power like some sort of superhero.
"That's enough." He booms, voice echoing.
Power rolls off him, raising the hairs on my body and forcing the wolf inside me to bow in reverence. Reaching through the windshield, he grabs my robe.
"You are done running." Cadoc's other hand swipes the air, slicing through my seat belt as he pulls me out of the opening.
"I didn't want to resort to this, but you've given me no choice." A needle pierces my neck.
The lemon-scented liquid pumping into my veins burns. Vervain. I open my mouth to shout silently as the darkness rushes in.
Kez's screams are the last thing I'm aware of before I convulse.
Prying my heavy lids open, I blink to bring the blurry room into focus. I recognize the familiar white canopy of my pack home.
Closing my eyes tight, I hold in the scream threatening to bubble up in my throat. After everything, I'm back under the same roof with Aunt Gerda and Uncle Terrel.
All the studying, late-night projects, and work I did selling custom sketches and paintings online to save money has been for nothing.
Shoving my fist into my mouth, I let my body shake as tears roll down my face. I'm allowed this chance to grieve.
For the second time, my life has imploded without warning. Rolling onto my side, I wallow for a few minutes, exhausting my saline supply. I press my face into the patchwork quilt passed down in my family.
Plain beige walls are broken up by the paintings and collages I did in high school. One of the only photos I have of my family retains its place of honor on my nightstand. I draw strength from the familiar faces.
Sniffling, I wipe my eyes and force my aching body out of bed. The pack may have forced me back here, but I refuse to let them see how much it devastated me.
Feet shuffling across the wood floor, I enter the white subway-tiled bathroom. I turn on the faucet, splash my face with cold water, and dry it with a towel. I never expected to return here when I drove away over four years ago.
Gripping the counter of the white sink, I lean forward and peer at my reflection in the mirror. I found a way out of this hell once; I can do it again.
This is all a test of endurance. The slender oval-shaped face and tan skin are a gift from my mother. I see her more and more as I age. It's a gift that keeps the memory of her face vivid.
I run my finger down the thin slightly up-turned nose I shared with my older brother Jarl and hold his memory close. Three years older, he'd always had my back when I needed him.
I pull on his strength and stare into the reflection of my brown eyes with specs of gold and green. The proof of my lineage makes my me feel less alone today.
Footsteps coming up the stairs put me on edge. I know that overconfident stride. Resentment coils in my belly, a snake ready to strike.
She's the root of this. Once I figure out how she convinced our Alpha he needed me, I'll change his opinion. The door swings open, and Aunt Gerda stomps in without knocking.
Her cinnamon and amber scent floods the room. Hooded, brown eyes darken to nearly black with malice and anger as she stares.
Dark blonde hair cut in an angular bob, highlights her fine bone structure, thin lips, and pointy nose. Displeasure drips from her pores and twists her classically angelic features into something demonic.
A shrill shrew, Gerda made life hell from the second they took me in. Standing to my full height, I hold her gaze.
I surpassed her five-foot height, packed on muscle, and grew a backbone while I was gone. There will be no more shrinking in front of her.
"Always so arrogant. Even now, you refuse to learn your place."
"I decided to choose my fate." I shrug. "You were the one who pulled me away from it."
Aunt Gerda cackles. "Did you think you could start over somewhere else and never look back?"
I chuckle. "That's exactly what I did."
"Too stupid to know you'll always be trapped in a cage." Her lips curl into a twisted grin.
"Because here you are, back where you started."
I shrug. "For now."
Her dark eyes flash amber. She stalks forward and wraps her long fingers around my forearm, digging her nails into my flesh. I shake free from her grip, pushing her back.
Stumbling like a drunk, she wobbles on thin black heels. Mouth flopping open, she resembles a cartoon fish.
"Do not put your hands on me." I step forward, standing my ground. Adult me does what the younger version could not.
"You are my ward living under my roof."
"I am a twenty-five-year-old woman perfectly capable of getting a place. You have very
little power over me, Gerda. The child you abused and beat down is gone. We won't be repeating
the past." I growl, and she takes a step back.
The shock on her face is almost comical.
"Do you understand me?" Every word is clipped.
"Mad dogs get put down. Better remember your place, little beta." Gathering her power around
her, she wields it like a weapon of precision.
"You are here to serve your betters." Energy presses down, an invisible weight crushing me.
Legs screaming in protest, I fight the desire to kneel. "Oh, this will be fun, teaching you all
over again what happens when willful little orphans act like ungrateful urchins." Gerda increases
the heaviness. I grit my teeth as my knees weaken.
My stomach rolls like a stormy sea, and heat floods my body.
"I've missed our little games." She hums happily as my entire body quakes. Breathing hard. I imagine roots anchoring me to the ground. "I will break you. Like I always have."
"I wouldn't count on it." I force the words out.
Her thin, high-arched eyebrows dip down, and her smooth forehead wrinkles. Death will befall me before I bow to this wretched woman even once more.
Pop. Something inside my brain gives. The intense pressure recedes, and I straighten, resisting her. Her eyes widen, and she doubles down.
"Postulate before your better." The command behind her voice is hypnotic.
I want to obey. Betas follow, not lead. A broken component inside me refuses to lie down and show her my belly.
"Sick pup. You're all mixed up. But I'm going to change that." Her power lashes out, burying its hooks into me. "Come to heel," she yells.
My ears throb along with the pulsing in my temples. Vision tunneling, I stumble. Sharp points dig into my aura. Ding Dong. The doorbell breaks her concentration.
"We're not finished here." She promises, replacing her spite with the mask of cheer and propriety.
One day I'll strip back that fa?ade and show the pack the ugliness that lies beneath. Today, all my energy goes to surviving.
Leaning on the thick bedpost, I catch my breath. Going toe-to-toe like that was new and exhilarating. Things are going to be different this time. Small victories.
The heavy front door opens. I listen.
"Fell, you sweet boy. What are you doing here?" I cover my mouth to hide my gag. Confusion and anger swirl together.
What the hell is my ex doing here? I'm not ready to confront the plethora of emotions he invokes.
"I just heard. Is Ylva okay?" What the hell does he care after shattering my soul? Heat washes over my skin, filling my cheeks and crawling up my neck. I'm not ready to see him.
I spent the past four years wondering why he never showed up to help me drive to college. Now, the prospect of being face-to-face has me sick to my stomach.
Thoughts of his piercing pale green gaze, soft, light blond locks, and thick muscular frame fill my mind's eyes.
Years of bliss came to an abrupt halt with no explanation. I hate the concern his rich baritone possesses.
I've had enough mind screws for one day. A smart woman knows when to attack and when to retreat.
Walking to my window, I peer down the side of the building at the ivy-laden trellis . Self-preservation isn't cowardice.
I lift the window, swing my shaky legs over, and make my escape. On the ground, I walk away from the towering white Victorian that never felt like home.
I strip off the graduation robes, roll them into a ball, and pitch them into a garbage can at the end of the driveway. The sun sets turning the sky into a painting. I retreat to the woods, starved for comfort.
Tall yellow flowers with orange-tinted centers reach toward the sky alongside bright violet-colored blooms with black centers.
I trail my fingers over the flora and fauna, allowing the warmth of the familiar species to welcome me home. Crossing Gerda's property line into the wooded area, tension slips from me.
I grew up among the colossal timbers, playing, exploring, and running. Trailing my fingers over the bark, I walk the well- worn path, using night vision to avoid the thick roots springing up from the ground.
Most homes here back up to the woods. A pack with no means of cover is like a sitting duck.
Moving deeper into the woodland, I admire the stars overhead and the rustling of animals moving about in branches. Eyes glow up at me from the ground as small nocturnal creatures stir.
They sense I'm a predator. Wood crackles from a fire ahead. Smoke drifts up into the air. The sound of whimpers and moans reaches my sensitive ears. I giggle.
I'm not a stranger to nights spent in the woods away from prying eyes.
"Who's there?" A masculine voice asks.
"Sorry; just passing through." I walk into the light of the fire, and my stomach plummets. This is not my night.
Douchebag extraordinaire and Daddy's entitled brat, Bo Jensen, stands in front of a large white tent with built-in windows in the front flaps. He's always looked like a model with his dark hair, dark eyes, and chiseled body.
But his attitude left much to be desired. His cupid's bow lips part, revealing even, white teeth. I want to slap the triangular-shaped face perfectly sculpted with sharp cheekbones, a firm jaw, and thick lashes.
"If it isn't the resident fire starter back from the land of the humans I see."
"Looks like," I say continuing to move.
He steps in front of me with supernatural speed. Here we go.
"We're not kids, Bo. I won't put up with your bullying anymore. I'm done playing games."
This time around there'll be boundaries. Lying back and taking everything the pack wanted to throw at me like I'm the town dump is off the table.
"You think we've forgotten who you are? That you'd come back and slip in undetected?" He quips.
Bo grins, showing his sharp teeth. "No. Freaks like you should expect to be called out. If we're not careful, your insubordinate ways and weakness might spread."
They hate me for not fitting in. "Being a beta is not a crime."
"No." His quick agreement is startling.
"But you ruined family legacies, didn't you? First, the fire only you survived." He holds up a finger. "Then against all odds, you become the first in centuries not to present as an alpha." He tsks. "Not even an omega. Just a lowly beta. The last of the great Eskildson family holds none of their powers. He sighs loudly. "Two great bloodlines wasted on a useless beta when the pack needs magic desperately."
"I appreciate the recap." I clap. "It was nice. I actually lived it, so it wasn't necessary." I step around him. I've heard the song and dance so many times it goes in one ear and out the other.
He blocks my path. Nostrils flaring, he glares down at me.
"I can't control the way things played out for me. And I have as much right to live in our town as anyone else."
His thick eyebrows fly up, and he laughs. "We've become brave while we were away." He steps
into my personal space. "I wonder what else you learned."
I hold my breath to avoid inhaling more of licorice, spiced honey, and vanilla scent as his power presses down onto me.
My skin prickles, and I wait wondering if he's going to use his alpha command on me.
"What's the matter, beta?" He leans closer. "Scared?"
Ashamed of the powerful response I'm having to him, I glance away afraid he'll see my desire. Mother nature can be a real bitch.
When your body's entire goal is to keep you running at the peak shape, beings of beauty are created and designed to be pulled toward each other. Too bad this shiny, edible looking apple has a rotten core.
Glee fills his expression. Bo likes the hunt and the chase, and I've just presented myself to him as prey.
"Bo." A brunette head appears at the tent opening. "Stop playing with the loser and come play with me," she purrs.
"You're right. There'll be plenty of time for getting reacquainted." Bo winks. Breaking into a run, his laughter trails behind me. I stop when I approach the empty lot that was never rebuilt.
Once it held my three-story Victorian home with a loving family who had a promising future. Back then, we held a good standing in the pack.
Our parents taught me and my brother, Jarl what it meant to be pack and how to treat others with kindness and respect. How ashamed you'd be of what's happening here now.
Traveling down the path, I stand on the scorched earth and replay the events of that night, wondering once more why I alone survived the flames.