Master B-0361

“ I thought I might find you here. Did you order my drink, or did you think I wouldn’t show?”

I didn’t have to turn to know it was Master Twelve-twelve moving in next to me at the bar. This was routine for us. Two men, heartbroken over the women we loved. Drinking more than we needed. Although Rob hadn’t lost his wife, he might as well have. He had hope she’d awaken from the poisoning she’d almost succumbed to after he bought her, but that wasn’t the case. He didn’t give up…just like me. At least he had something to fight for. Even if it was a lost cause. Me, I was fighting a ghost. Fighting for something I had lost sight of not hours ago. Had I used Margaret’s name in passion? Had I completely shut her down the moment I realized what I’d done?

“I was hoping I wouldn’t see you here.”

“That would have been nice.”

I scooted one of the multiple shot glasses towards him as I continued to go back and forth, taking shots and sipping my Jack and Coke.

“Look at you, Three-sixty-one. Pajama pants and a t-shirt. That’s a first. This must be a celebration. You’re hitting it hard tonight. Bad day?”

A nearly silent laugh left me.

“Bad fucking decade.” I glanced over to take in his dark hair and darker eyes. “But yeah. I’ve been drinking for hours. I was wasted before I left the apartment. Today was…I don’t know.”

“Now this is different.” He tossed back the shot. “What don’t you know? Last I heard, you weren’t connecting with the slave. She wasn’t right for you. Did you change your mind?”

“No. I killed her.”

“Ah.”

“That was easy. I got a new slave.”

“Oh.” His tone deepened. “That’s right. It was auction night. A better slave?”

I got quiet, taking a long drink as I tried to find the right words.

“My brother came to my apartment today. He saw the resemblance. I don’t see it like him, although… I must . I chose her. I had to have her. She gave me a fucking heart attack when she disappeared to the city below without me knowing.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah,” I said, glancing back over to him. He knew how dangerous it was down there. “I was afraid that maybe…afraid that…you know.” I took another shot, chasing it down with my drink. “I shouldn’t have given a shit. I did.” My head shook in disbelief. My words and thoughts were getting hard to separate. “There’s something between us that’s different. I said her name when I shouldn’t have. Her name , not Maggie’s.”

Rob was quiet a good minute as he motioned and took his drink from the bartender.

“Maybe this is good.”

“I don’t see how.”

“You won’t, either, until you let it play out.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not that it could play out smoothly after this. She won’t be happy when I finally set her free. It’s for the best, I suppose. I should just kill her and get this over with and go home. I have work to do anyway.”

“What the fuck is work? Stay down here like me. Forget the outside world. It’s not worth it.”

“I wish.”

I wiped out the remaining shots, blinking through the blurriness that had long taken over. I could barely speak straight anymore, and it was getting worse by the minute. I sure as fuck couldn’t sit without the slightest sway.

“I have to go. It was good seeing you, Rob.” I paused. “Twelve-twelve.”

“You, too. I’ll be here if you change your mind and come back.”

All I could do was a half-ass nod as I stepped off the stool and kept myself as straight as I could. Balance was almost impossible, but I somehow made it from the bar, through the mostly empty lounge, and into my hall. When I finally got to my apartment, everything was spinning. I shut the door, reaching forward as I made my way back to my bed. But it wasn’t how I needed it. How I had to have it.

“Maggie.” I tried to sit. I failed as I called out to her again. My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to put things in focus. My sight. My mind. It all kept circling around and around. “Margaret. Maggie.” I laughed, groaning as I turned and forced myself to sit. “Maggie come to bed. It’s time…for bed.”

I went, stumbling to the small room that still had the light on. I hit hard into the doorframe, crashing to my knees. That didn’t stop me. I crawled to the bed. The lifeless body had me transfixed as I pulled myself up onto the mattress. Ammonia was strong and my nose drew in, but I didn’t care as I hovered over her.

“When I say…come to bed. You come. Now we’re here. I don’t like this room.”

Brown eyes blazed. They were so expressive and angry as her lids narrowed. I couldn’t look for long. I collapsed nearly on top of her, resting my head against her cheek, drowning in her hair. I was okay with dying like this. I could die, and that would be okay.

Die.

Dark.

Maggie.

That wouldn’t be so bad. Then we could be together forever. But I couldn’t die. I had responsibilities. I had my brothers and my parents to take care of. My death would kill my mother. My father would follow. He was nothing without her. He could forget us all, but not her. Not yet. Their love was real…their demons stronger. I had wanted that kind of love. I had wanted…something…real.

But no. Abnormally pale skin. My fingers deep inside a cold, tight pussy. My moaning. More. My cock pounding to the sway of dark hair. To lifeless limbs. Harder. Deader. Harder.

Thoughts and memories were sucked down in the constant spin as I went in and out of consciousness. I threw up at some point. I knew that but fuck if I could stop it. I couldn’t even move. I couldn’t wake up. I was back and forth, but where I was, I didn’t have a clue. Time passed. Lots of time. And more pounding came, but not the kind I wanted. It was deep in my head, pulsing behind my eyes as it grew louder by the second.

Cracking my lids, I winced, reaching for my face. My eyes . I didn’t make it there before I gagged at the taste in my mouth and the smell breaking through the fog of my mind. I was damn near on top of a body. A small body. And there were chunks of something in her hair and along her throat. The bed was soaking wet with her piss. My pants and bottom of my shirt were wet where I’d had my leg over her waist. It was the tears and those heartbroken eyes that had me lifting. It was the hard knocking on my door that had me cursing.

“Fuck. Fuck. I’ll be back.” I didn’t even have to roar from the rage I felt at myself. The anger was alive in every inch of me as I lifted my hands towards her apologetically. “I’ll be back. One minute.”

As if she believed me. I sure as fuck wouldn’t. Not that I should even give a shit. I hadn’t with the others. I hadn’t cared about their comfort or my actions. They were here to be what I needed. Nothing else. Yet…one night and everything had changed. Wanting. Yearning. Passion. Her need for me, it fucking poisoned my heart. The acid it left behind was dripping Maggie’s essence free, taking her. Replacing her with...what exactly? Margaret? Change? Hadn’t I wanted to break free of this anyway?

I took large steps, swinging open the door to connect with blue eyes. Elec’s gaze lowered to stop at my wet pajamas.

“I don’t want to know. I really don’t want to fucking know. You have shit on your face too. Is that throw-up?”

“What do you want?”

My voice was raspy. Raw.

“Your brother’s been calling all morning trying to get through to you. When he couldn’t, he called me to see if I killed you. I’m afraid I can’t take credit for this one. You’re doing just fine killing yourself.”

“Fuck off. I can’t take this right now. Is that it?”

“Did you really tell him to go to Tuscany?”

My jaw clenched. “Bet your ass I did. I don’t trust the two of you close to each other. You’re like two fucking grenades waiting for an excuse to explode. Even Tuscany isn’t far enough.”

“Well, he’s not there, just so you know.”

“What do you mean he’s not there?”

I nodded for Elec to come in, but his hand waved as his head shook. “I’m not fucking going in there. I can smell you enough from here. Hale’s at home. He and I…we’re sorting out our differences.”

“Sorting them out? Like, how?”

“Like work acquaintances should. We’re making rules. Healthy boundaries, if you will. I let him know my offer still stood for acceptance into the Gardens.” At my glare, he lifted his hand. “So long as it was okay with you. He does belong here, Seb. It’s a damn lonely place out there to deal with this sort of heaviness on your own. You know that. Why deny him the help only we can offer?”

“He doesn’t need help.”

“You’re wrong.” Elec shoved his hands in his pocket. “Did you know he had a child?”

“ What? ”

Elec didn’t speak as he stared me down. “Had, Seb. Not anymore. Those wives…not all of them are good.”

“That’s against the rules. Hale would never cross the line with a wife.”

“Maybe she didn’t leave him a choice.”

“You can’t just tell me this shit and not go into full detail. What the hell happened with my brother? He never told me anything. Who got pregnant? Who is she?”

“That’s not my story to tell.”

“Bullshit. If someone hurt or took advantage of my brother, I have every right to know.”

“Will you let him become a Master if I tell you?”

“No.”

Elec shrugged. “Too bad. I guess you’ll never know. He’ll never tell you. He doesn’t even know I found out.”

“How did you find out?”

A smile came to the Main Master’s face.

“The nights are long, and I have nothing but time for my enemies. Thing is…I don’t see your brother like that anymore. The shit he goes through.” Elec’s head shook back and forth. “I have a new respect for him. Who knew he had such a hard job. Oh well. An outlet would have been good for the shit he’s dealing with. Maybe at a later date.”

He nodded a goodbye, taking off down the hall.

“ Wait .”

He stopped but didn’t turn to face me.

“I’ll think about it. I want to talk to Hale first.”

“Of course. You know how to find me. I’ll be around.”

I stepped back in, cringing as I headed back to the room. Margaret wouldn’t even look towards me. She stared up at the ceiling, a constant stream of tears leaving her.

“Maggie-Lynn.”

Nothing besides a jolt. She didn’t stand. She didn’t scream or get up to attack me.

“I fucked up.”

Nothing.

“Margaret, I—I’m not going to apologize. Get up. You need to shower."

Her head rose, but she kept her stare ahead as she spun to dangle her feet off the edge. The beige material was sticking to her as she stood and headed for the bathroom. Even the back of her hair was wet with piss, all the way up to her neck. My jaw clenched repeatedly as I watched her disappear through the door. I took in the bed, pulling the sheets free to reveal the plastic-wrapped mattress.

“God dammit.”

But I’d been here before. Countless times. It didn’t hit me like it did now. Before, it had been an inconvenience. It wasn’t now. It was regret wrapped in guilt, and I liked that even less.

The water cut on in the distance. I threw the blankets towards the doorway, reaching for the disinfectant not feet away. The scent had my head pounding even more, but I finished cleaning up her bed, even putting new sheets and a blanket on. When I had the soiled ones bagged up, I called for a pickup, outside the main door. Time passed, but the water continued. I knew I should leave her alone, but I found myself going inside anyway.

Margaret was sitting on the marble seat, staring ahead as one of the numerous streams sprayed down on her. She looked like a zombie. Like she was no different than the lifeless woman I’d woken up to. It was how I wanted it. It was fine.

I tore off my shirt, not believing shit my mind was telling me. Her head turned the smallest amount, but only enough to glance my way and go back to staring ahead. I pushed down the soiled pajama pants, kicking them off as I made my way to my slave.

“You’re not going to say anything? Nothing?”

“Like what?”

I swung open the door, shutting it behind me. Margaret didn’t balk. She didn’t curl into herself or show fear. She stood, tilting her head up to me as she tried keeping her lip from trembling. She failed.

“Anything. Say anything you want.”

“You won’t like what I’ll say, and we know what will happen then.”

“ Say it .”

“You want to know what’s on my mind?”

Tears left her as I nodded.

“Yeah, I do. I want to know exactly what you’re thinking.”

Her fist slammed into my chest. “You’re a son of a bitch for leaving me like that.” She hit again, sobbing, but I grabbed her wrist, pulling her wet body into mine.

“And I’ll do it again. And again. Do you want to know why?”

“Because I’m not her.”

I paused, hating the twisting in my chest.

“Because I’m the Master, and I make the rules.”

She jerked her wrist free, stepping into the water and dismissing me as if it were the easiest thing in the world. More sobs left her, but she didn’t even give me the satisfaction of glaring or blaming her tears on me. I was dead to her, just as I had wanted her dead to me. I didn’t like it.

“You need to wash your hair.”

“I’m working on it, Master .”

“How, when you’re not even facing the right way? You’re just standing in the stream. Turn,” I said, turning her, myself. “See. You have to get your hair wet to wash it.”

“If I have to wash it it’s your fault.”

More lip quivering. Another sob as her eyes jerked back and forth with wildness. Had I been in my right mind, maybe I would have seen from the beginning that she was in shock. It didn’t register until I took in how the black of her pupil dominated her eyes. It was in the slight twitching of her body. In the emotions she couldn’t control.

Son of a bitch. Yeah…that was me.

“Here.” I grabbed the shampoo, pulling her from the water. I poured the white liquid into my palm, lathering her long hair. The moment I cupped the sides of her head with my hands, she threw herself into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. The contact was so unexpected. Her cries were…familiar to me. Almost like the cries Maggie had made when she broke off our engagement. But Margaret wasn’t leaving me like Maggie had. She was holding to me like she’d fall through the floor at any moment if she let go. “Stop. You’re fine. You’re—” I tried to break her grasp, but the soap made it impossibly slippery. “Hey.”

Her eyes lifted, but her hold didn’t loosen.

“You’re okay.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t, but you are. You’re okay right now.”

“Yes.”

But she wasn’t coherent. She wasn’t okay. And me…I was even fucking worse. I liked her arms around me. I liked her desperation, and the way she clung to me as if I wasn’t the one who fucked her up to begin with. It wouldn’t be like this once her mind cleared. Things would change, and I had to be prepared for anything. She could shut down for good, or she could revolt. She might do both.