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T hroughout my life, I had feared many things. Heights. Bees. All bugs, really. Monsters under the bed. Never once did I ever imagine that I’d be a captive inside my own body.

Maggie-Lynn…

Those words were all it took for me to shut down. I had collapsed right there in my Master’s arms, and there was nothing I could do about it. I screamed. I begged. I fought with everything I had. He never heard or felt anything. I didn’t move or so much as make a sound. I could feel the tears leaving me, but other than that, it was like I didn’t exist. I had a body, but it didn’t belong to me. It belonged to him, and he was in control of it as he laid me on his bed.

“Maggie, we keep doing this. How many times are you not going to listen to me? How many times are you going to run?”

Sebastian shrugged off his suit jacket, loosening his tie as he took me in. He didn’t look okay. He was covered in sweat, and his face was still tinted with red from the anger he’d displayed not moments ago. He gave a hard jerk, throwing the tie on the floor as he unbuttoned his vest.

“I don’t know why I assumed you had learned. You never learn. You’re too stubborn to follow rules, but I’m going to teach them to you one more time.”

He let the vest fall to the floor, going to the button at the base of his throat. As he began to work them free, I could hear my screams growing louder in my mind. I tried fighting to get my arms to move. A finger. Anything.

“Margaret. Maggie. Maggie. Margaret.” His head tilted as he gazed at my face. “The structure. I just don’t…know. I mean, maybe. It truly doesn’t matter. You could be her twin and it would change nothing. You’re still breaking the rules.”

Sebastian jerked his shirt free from his pants, finishing unbuttoning it. When he opened it and threw it down, I could see how hard is cock was through his pants. I hated how his hunger brought my body to life. He didn’t even have to touch me for me to react. My body was responding, even if I couldn’t, and it was all my fault. It was me. Trauma was my life. Taboo shit was just…a lure to me. Sure, I knew it was wrong what was happening. Even being here was sick. But I was far from good. Far from a virgin. I’d done things just to try them. I’d experimented with myself and with others just for the pleasure of it. Toys. Orgies. Threesomes with men and women. I wasn’t new to sex. But this…this I didn’t know. That didn’t stop the part of my mind that loved everything that was fucked up with it. I was a magnet for masochism. A goddamn feen for a good fuck. I liked older men, and I liked them with power. This one wanted me dead, there was no doubt about it. If I wanted to live, I would need to figure how he could have both. I hated that. I hated that my mindset was so watered-down and accepting of this. Accepting of him. My choices were limited, but my attitude was strong. If I ever got out of this state, he’d see . I’d convince him I was a good fit for him. I didn’t have a choice.

Clinking from his belt sounded, and I closed my eyes as I tried to calm the anxiety that kept leaving me panicked. He could kill me right here and now. He could do it with how mad he’d been at me leaving. He was worried about me getting hurt. Touched.

My brain was on overdrive as it raced.

That sort of emotion didn’t just come from nowhere. If he was worried or angry, it was important to him. My…safety and wellbeing was important.

“You are not allowed to close your eyes to me.”

The bed shifted and fingers pressed into my face. I opened my lids at the surprise, narrowing them just the smallest amount through that power. It had him waiting for my reaction. Waiting for compliance. Slowly, I closed my lids.

“Maggie. I’m not playing with you. Open your eyes.”

I wouldn’t. I refused.

“ Maggie .” A pause. “Fine. Pout. You won’t be soon.”

My body was lifted, and I kept my lids closed as he pulled the dress over my head. I could hardly keep them closed. Barely open them if I wanted. Nothing was working right on me, only causing the anxiety to spike once again.

The darkness was terrifying. The thought that my lids wouldn’t open ever again and that I’d be trapped in this shell almost had my eyes shooting open. I didn’t. I tried to keep my breaths slow as my bra was unhooked and my panties were removed, but even my breathing didn’t feel completely in my control.

“If you think playing dead is going to save you,” he laughed, “you have another thing coming. Dead is the goal, baby. Dead is what you are.”

My lids did open then, but only long enough for me to over-exaggeratively roll my eyes at him. The split second of shock I saw on his face quickly turned to anger as he growled and cupped to the side of my neck.

“Just like her. Dramatic little shit. Open your damn eyes.”

I obeyed, only to roll them again. There had been some expression I couldn’t quite place as he stared down at me. Intrigue? Some twisted fucked-up version of hope?

Why did that hurt me? Why did I even care that this man was so broken that he’d gotten to this point? Why? Because I’d been broken too. By my molesting stepfather at the age of eleven, no less. But it didn’t end there. Far from it. All I knew was self-destruction. If I was going to be hurt, wasn’t it best coming from me? I could control that, and maybe even right now, facing death, I welcomed it.

“Keep giving me attitude. We’ll see how long it lasts.”

Pressure eased my legs apart. Where I couldn’t move them, I could sure feel the sensations of his fingers as he began to trace up one of my thighs. Craving and pleasure were immediate. The internal begging took over. Where half my brain was pissed and shouting ‘no’, the other half was home. And not with the rape. I knew that well. It was the mindset. The accepting, where I shouldn’t. If I accepted, it wasn’t real. It was a choice. It was mine. I clung to that view with everything I had. To view it any other way would have brought a terror I couldn’t live with. It would put me back as a victim, and I didn’t choose that. Not Sebastian. Not my stepfather. Even if a victim was exactly what I was.

“Fuck, you’re so wet. Like…really, really wet.”

Was that surprise in his voice?

Pressure from his fingers tugged at the side of my folds, separating me, but he didn’t touch my pussy. He kept moving closer. Rotating his fingers in circles, but never quite hitting the spot I wanted him to. If I could have moaned, I would have. Hell, I would have done a lot more. Arched my back. Begged like a little slut for his fingers. Fuck… for anything.

“Maggie.” I stayed in the darkness. “Margaret.”

My eyes opened. It was the softness of my name. The pain hidden below the surface of his call. Almost as if it were agonizing for him to say.

Fingers eased over my swollen folds, hesitantly, barely brushing my skin. He kept his touch light, not speaking. Not turning away from me as he teased and added more pressure. Sebastian was so close, moving between my entrance and my clit. Back and forth, he circled, taking his time as the need built.

I could feel my body shaking. My legs trembled on their own. So many different expressions kept crossing his face as he began looking between me and where he touched. When he eased a finger inside of me, I didn’t miss him biting into his bottom lip.

Slowly, he inched forward, stretching me wide with a second finger almost just as fast. I didn’t stand a chance. My body refused to let me. Spasms from the orgasm shook my legs, and screams echoed in the secrecy of my mind. My Master didn’t have to hear them to know what he’d done.

Green eyes widened. He was on me so fast, sucking against my neck and kissing my unresponsive lips. I was moaning inside. Clawing into his back in my thoughts as I tried to rush him to go faster. I wanted him in me. Fucking me. Using me exactly the way he wanted. The way I was used to dealing with pain, fear, or anger.

I couldn’t do anything but lay there as he inched into my pussy. As much as I couldn’t stand it, there was something sick and delicious about what we were doing. It didn’t have to make sense to me. It was wrong, therefore, right. Or at least appealing.

“You like this. You want this.”

A deep moan left Sebastian as he plunged forward, breaking deeply through uncharted territory. My mind said I should gasp, even though I couldn’t. Going through the motions was easy, but I could feel my mind split as it did. One reality of being lifeless. The other, a fantasy I was living in my head. One I could control and pretend to be participating in.

“God, you feel so good. You’re going to listen from now on. You’re going to obey the rules.”

He tilted my head so I could look up at him. My eyes closed causing him to slam his cock into me.

“You will follow the rules. Look at me so I know you’re agreeing.”

I stayed in this new powerful darkness, basking in the friction of his increasing thrusts.

“Maggie.” He growled as I didn’t obey. “Margaret, look at me and say you’re going to stay in this apartment.”

The thrusts. The depths he pushed into. Having him fuck me so angrily was heaven when it should have been hell. I could feel myself building again, already, and I wanted to come on his cock once more. I wanted to come a million times so that he’d see I was different than them. Different than the other slaves before me.

Would it help me live? Probably not. At least I was choosing to enjoy the time I had left. Me… choosing .

“Dammit.” Rumbling had Sebastian pulling me more into him. “You’re going to stay here. Inside. You’re?—”

At the new round of spasms that shook me, he made an even louder sound, crushing me into him as he buried himself impossibly deeper.

“Fucking shit. Fuck. Fuck.” He growled, going back to suck against my neck. Before I could process the movement, my Master was spinning me on top of him, pulling down my weight as he stirred brand new sensations.

I knew he was pulling behind my knees, fixing my legs to better accommodate his thrusts, but I was already there in my mind. I was riding him, rotating and grinding myself down. Slow. Deep. Erotic. All those sounds that were leaving him were because of me. From what I was doing. They were happening there, inside of me. In the darkness I’d given myself to.

“Enough games.” Pain tore at my scalp as he pulled me back by my hair. “Open your fucking eyes.”

I opened them.

“You’re—”

I closed them and cried out in my mind as he shook my head like a rag doll.

“Maggie.”

Nothing.

“Mags.”

I still didn’t open them.

“Margaret, so help me God.”

I looked at him. Where’d he’d stopped thrusting, he withdrew, easing back in as I kept his stare.

“I can’t stay here and fucking babysit you. If you can’t stay inside, I’ll leave you like this permanently. I’ll leave you like them .”

Deeper, he pushed. Had my eyes gotten bigger? Terrified. I sure felt horror as the truth began to sink in. The unstable legs with Mae. The weakness.

“You’re going to be good, and you’re going to give me reason to trust you.”

I debated closing my eyes. The thought of staying like this permanently kept them open.

“That’s right. Safe. Here. Just like this with me.”

I blinked rapidly as he began to lower me back to his chest. It was enough to have Sebastian pausing and keeping me upright.

“I don’t need you to say anything, Margaret. You agreed. You’re staying.” His eyes were lowering to my breasts. As his knees drew up and his free hand went to cup the fullness, I blinked rapidly again. Or I tried to. Quick actions were hard.

“Stop. Feel .” He pinched my nipple, bridging his arm as he let his palm slide to hold to my hip. His bicep flexed as he held me in position, so much stronger and bigger than I had known. The way his hips moved as he fucked me and held me suspended above him was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I was in awe. Amazed, when I should have been saying a damn prayer. I wasn’t…I was blinking again. And again. And again. Until he was groaning.

“I should flip you facedown so all I can see is the part that matters. If I let you free and you do something stupid, you’re dead to me. Maybe in all ways.”

I blinked.

Seconds passed as he went back to biting his lip and thrusting again. Just when I thought maybe he wasn’t going to say it, the words were whispered through his moan.

“Maggie-Lynn.”

My body jolted, and I did finally gasp. Sensations were firing through me, adjusting as I moved my hands to press into his chest.

“What? What was so important that you had to glitch out?”

My head shook. I didn’t trust myself to say words. Instead, I braced on my knees, lifting and lowering to take him back inside of me. My Master’s mouth parted, and a moan left me as I put everything I had into fucking him at the pace I needed. And it worked. Both of his hands hesitantly lifted to my breasts. I ground myself down, taking every inch of his cock.

The wetness was unreal. I could feel it all over his balls. All on my inner thighs as I picked up the pace. My eyes were opened, and I couldn’t stop staring at the man who was torn on the woman who’d just taken control. I could see his uncertainty, and I didn’t want to bring attention to that. I wanted him to feel like the one in power, even though it was me who held it.

“Come.” I leaned forward, wrapping my hand along the side of his throat, trying to urge him to lift from the bed. “Sit up and help me. I’m so close. I need you to—” My deep moan took over as he rose, holding around me as I continued to ride him. “Right there. Please .”

Sebastian’s long forearm barred across my back while he held to my opposite shoulder. He was bringing me up and down, letting me move and rotate my hips to the speed I needed. I didn’t think as I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing us closer. My chest pressed into his, and I met his mouth as if he weren’t some deranged, psychopathic killer. My Master and I met with chemistry. As lovers desperate for things we’d never get again. And maybe we wouldn’t if he killed me.

“There. Yes. Right there.”

He was drinking in my sigh. Swallowing my whimpers with every greedy kiss. I could feel his cock swelling, and I was hungry to have the only piece of him I ever would. I locked my legs around his waist, squeezing as I forced my weight down, and him deeper inside of me. I needed nothing else but his cum as I screamed through the spasms. And he gave it to me, moaning out just as loud as he crushed me to him, holding me down to him.

“Fuck. God. Fuck. Margaret .”

But that’s all it took to completely turn my world upside-down.

One name in the heat of his passion…and it wasn’t hers. It was mine .