3. Chapter Three

Mary hurried to return to her sister's room, eager to be there for Elizabeth. Her poor sister had never been this sick with her last pregnancy. Elizabeth might not have admitted what was ailing her, but that did not prevent Mary from knowing. Here it was almost noon and her maid said she had not been able to hold anything down. Mary had sent instructions to the kitchen staff to brew a stronger ginger tea, hoping it would help quell her sister's nausea.

Entering the room, she approached the bed where Elizabeth was lying and said softly, "The maid will bring up some more ginger tea as soon as may be."

Elizabeth was leaning back against her pillows with her eyes closed, looking rather wan. "Thank you, Mary dear. I do not know what I would do without your help."

Looking her sister over with a critical eye, Mary wished Jane would get here soon. If they did not get the nausea under control, Elizabeth would start losing more weight than was safe for her or the babe she carried. "I would never leave you alone at a time like this with you feeling so poorly. Even with that great big cream puff you have claimed as a husband trying to cater to your every need, you still need a sister here to support you."

Opening her eyes, Elizabeth's emerald gaze found Mary's as she attempted a fleeting smile. "Someday soon you will have your own household to see to, and your own husband and children to care for. You will not always be by my side. Until then, however, I am happy to have you here."

Though Mary smiled in response, she doubted her sister"s claims. She had once dreamed of the life her sister described, but after years of little progress, she wondered if perhaps she wasn't meant for married life. She had first danced with Mr. Goulding when Elizabeth had met William years ago. Her sister was now married and expecting her second child while Mary was still not even courting. Forcing her mind to a more pleasant avenue, she leaned over and rearranged the flowers in the vase on Elizabeth"s bedside table. "These seem rather unlike the flowers you normally have arranged by your maid."

"Those were a gift from Artie. He has been worried about my being unwell. I know that most of them are weeds, but he was so happy to bring them to me." Speaking of her dear son seemed to help Elizabeth as she managed a wide smile that took up most of the space on her face.

When she attempted to sit up straighter in bed, Mary hurried to arrange the pillows to support her. Once positioned, Elizabeth closed her eyes again and took several slow breaths, apparently fighting off more nausea. Once she opened her eyes again, she had a more serious look on her face. "How was Longbourn?"

Shoulders drooping at the thought of Longbourn's condition, Mary sighed. Sitting in the chair near the bed, Mary looked at Elizabeth sadly. "It was quite bad, though thankfully, we do not think it was damaged beyond repair. Much of the furniture has been destroyed and several windows have been shattered." Mary paused when her time in their father's study came to mind. "Father's study was more of a mess than I would have thought. It seems that whatever books he was unable to bring with him, he destroyed."

At the knock at the door, the maid was called in and Mary got up, helping the maid to settle the tray and pour a cup of tea. The maid had also brought up some dry toast, but Mary set that to the side to wait until Elizabeth felt ready to venture beyond tea. Handing her sister the cup of fragrant tea, Mary said, "Here you go, my dear. This should help."

The maid watched it all with a look of concern before saying, "The cook said that she will start brewing the ginger tea on the regular, as Miss Bennet suggested. We will have some for you whenever you have need of it, you only need to ask. If you have anything else that you feel might help or anything that you might crave, please let us know. We are all eager to get you feeling more yourself, Mrs. Darcy." Blushing at her long speech, the maid bobbed a curtsey and looked to the floor.

"Thank you, Ellen. You are being so kind," Elizabeth said with a warm smile. "Though I wish I was not such a bother, it is reassuring to know that you—that everyone—is so willing to offer their support." After the maid left, Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a tiny sip of the tea. She seemed apprehensive about drinking any more until she knew it would stay down.

Mary went back to her chair and watched Elizabeth with a careful eye, ready to grab for the nearby bowl if needed. They sat in silents for a few minutes while Elizabeth tested her ability to stomach the tea. Eventually, it seemed that Elizabeth was able to drink at will with no issue and she asked for a piece of toast. Once she had managed a few bites and was looking less green, she asked, "What were you saying about father"s study?"

With a grim tightening of her lips, Mary looked at Elizabeth and told her the last bit of their trip to Longbourn. "It seems that father read the book on floriography before he left Longbourn. He had struck a knife into the book, stabbing straight through it and into his desk."

Elizabeth's eyes widened at the news and her already pale face grew paler still. Then, with a shake of her head, she seemed to grow in strength from somewhere within herself. "It may be wrong of me to say, but I am glad that he is no longer able to torment us and others with his horrible presence."

"I know the bible tells us not to judge others, so I will simply say I agree, and I am reassured that we no longer have to worry about him." It was very hard for Mary to get the image of the knife stuck in the book out of her mind. Over time, remembering life at Longbourn had become a hazy, distant memory, like a long-ago pain of a broken arm that was remembered but not felt. Mary had always tried to look at the good things in life and she had so many good things. Remembering her father's tendency toward cruelty was hard. She was especially grateful that Lydia had not been around him when he discovered that she had been poking fun at his ignorance the entire time.

With a final shudder at her morose thoughts, Mary was glad for the distraction when there was a small knock at the door, followed by the small voice that would always bring smiles to faces.

"I come in?" Artie's voice was muffled through the door but was still quite dear.

Elizabeth put her teacup on the side table and grinned as she responded to the little voice. "Yes, dear, please come in."

In a flurry of movement, a small body rushed into the room, followed by a much larger body traveling at a much more sedate pace. A wooden toy horse flopped onto the bed with childlike abandon, then little hands gripped at the bedclothes and, after a few grunts, pulled a little person up onto the bed. Crawling across the bed, little Artie flung himself against his mother and gave her a rather sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Ello Mama!"

Holding his small body to herself, Elizabeth kissed his tousled dark hair and leaned back to study his cheerful face. "How are you this morning, my little gentleman?"

Sitting back on his heels in her lap, Artie smiled and nodded excitedly, his curly hair flopping into his eyes. "Good! Said ello to Crum with Papa."

Looking up at her husband, who had moved to the side of the bed and looked at her with concern, she reached out a hand and took one of his in her own. Turning back to her son, Elizabeth inquired, "And how was Crumpet this morning?"

"He did a happy neigh." Then, with an uncanny accuracy, Arthur Theodore Darcy imitated his favorite horse's behavior with a neighing shake of his head. The little toy horse that often accompanied him was retrieved from the edge of the bed and was used to better demonstrate.

"Very happy indeed." Looking up at William who was now busy smiling down at their rambunctious child, she said, "Poor Cadmus. He has gone from being a Greek king to Crumpet, and now to Crum. How will he ever live it down?"

"He is a strong and noble horse—he will manage. For all that, he absolutely adores Artie." Leaning down, William gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. "How are you faring, my love?"

"Well enough, I suppose. I am already feeling better this morning and I have managed to hold down some tea and toast. Thank you for bringing Artie to visit me. I would have managed to make my way up to the nursery eventually, but I was missing our time together." Leaning over, Elizabeth scooped up her boisterous boy and cuddled her child to her chest, inhaling the simple wonder of him. After helping care for her niece and nephew, Mary knew the smell well—that unique, clean scent that all babies and toddlers seemed to possess. Smiling at her husband, Elizabeth whispered, "You always know just what I need, Wills."

Mary watched the love that her sister had with no little envy. She wished the same for herself, but it was always just out of her reach. After a few moments of watching the blissful scene between her sister and her little family, Mary cleared her throat, gaining their attention. "Good morning, Artie and William."

Looking up with a jolt, as if surprised another person was in the room, Artie spotted his aunt with glee. "Aunt Mawy! Morning." Then with the lack of foresight and enthusiasm that all toddlers possessed, he flung himself off the bed and into Mary's waiting arms.

Nuzzling his crown of dark curls, Mary smiled and asked, "How are you, my little love?"

Artie grasped her face with both of his chubby little hands, gently forcing her to look him in the eye. "Good. You play with me today?"

"Yes, of course I will play with you later today. I have a few things I need to work on first, though."

Growing serious, Artie nodded. "Right, do you work first, then we play later."

Nodding her head within its constraint, Mary grinned at the serious little boy. Sometimes he was just like her sister—bold and full of life—and other times he had such a serious expression, just like his occasionally dour father.

William spoke up from next to Elizabeth. "Are you planning on visiting Longbourn tomorrow?"

Tickling her nephew until he released her face, she cuddled him before saying, "Yes, I have already spoken with the housekeeper, and we have arranged for two of the maids from Netherfield to go over with me so that we may begin on the kitchens. It is not even fit to boil tea at this point, but we will get it clean and workable in no time."

"I have employed young Mr. Goulding to oversee the repair work and whatnot for Longbourn and its lands. He will be there tomorrow morning with some workmen clearing out the rubble and refuse." William paused, watching Mary for a moment, almost as if he wanted to gauge how she took the news before continuing. "I have contacted a glazier about all the broken windows. We don't want rain and snow getting in any more than it already has. It is a wonder there have not been any rotten floorboards." William looked thoughtful despite the way his son had traveled back to him and started climbing all over him like a little monkey.

"I wish I was well enough to come with you," Elizabeth said, her voice filled with her normal vigor and frustration. Typically the first to take on a hard job, Elizabeth always found it difficult to stand back and let others do when she could not.

"I am perfectly capable of handling the cleaning of the kitchen at Longbourn. Besides, I would love to live there again one day. I think helping clean it will help me scrub it free of all the old memories from the past." Mary tried to smile but knew she had not been entirely successful.

"Live there?" came William"s question.

"Yes, well, I know I would always be welcome at your home or Mother's, Jane's, or Kitty's, but I want my own home. I know I am by no means on the shelf, but I am tired of attending the season. I cannot like it in London." Stopping to gather her courage, Mary brushed nonexistent lint from her skirt. "I have been considering getting a companion and requesting to stay there. There are many people here that I could help, and I like it here despite the memories."

Elizabeth gave a sharp look, first at her husband and then her sister. Her concern was evident in the way her brows drew together. "What about Mr. Goulding?"

"What about him? I have given him as many hints as I can contrive that I would be open to furthering our relationship, but he is stubborn in his refusal to move forward. I will admit that my heart is engaged, and I could never try to enter into another relationship knowing that." Standing, Mary moved across the room. Elizabeth and William's bedroom was not so very large that it allowed her to pace as she would wish, but movement helped. Turning back to face her sister, brother-in-law, and confused little nephew, she stood her ground. "I am content knowing that I can do good here. I will find happiness how I can, even if it is as a single woman. I will just have to dote on all my nieces and nephews." Mary offered Elizabeth a wide smile while silently praying in her heart of hearts that her sister would not see the sorrow just below the surface. She could not fight her sister and her heart at the same time.

Elizabeth smiled at her younger sister and if she saw anything more than Mary wanted her to, she did not let on. "I can see that you have thought this through. I will only say do not rush things. Give it some time. You will be working closely with Mr. Goulding, trying to bring Longbourn back to its former glory. Who knows what can come of it?"

"Thank you. And I am glad you are feeling better, Lizzie." Going to her sister, she leaned down to kiss her on the cheek and ruffle Artie's hair. The little guy had once again transferred between parents. He never showed any fear during acrobatic stunts, always confident that someone would be there to catch him. "I am going to write to mother and Lydia and check in with the maids who will go over to Longbourn with me in the morning. I am uncertain how long we will end up working tomorrow and I want to make sure I am not keeping them from other responsibilities."

In a swirl of skirts and false smiles, Mary left the room and went into the hall, eager to be away before her smile broke. Rushing to her room, she closed the door behind her and leaned up against it, blinking rapidly to stem the flow of tears that fought to surface. In a way, life had been easier when she was younger. Before she had learned more about the world and saw the many colors that tinted the reality around her, it had been easier to deal with disappointment.

Once upon a time, she had focused so completely on the bible and Fordyce's sermons that it was easy to see what was best. At one point, everything was straightforward. Whether her father described her as plain or she was unnoticed at a dance, it simply exposed others" vanity. She valued herself beyond others" opinions. So, she had not tried to look her best.

It had taken time, but she had learned that her earlier reasoning had been flawed and she eventually saw the value of wanting to look pretty for yourself and on occasion others. It felt nice to be able to be more herself, but it created another problem. She was still sometimes overlooked and without the shield she used before it hurt. It hurt that she was being overlooked by Mr. Goulding. She did not know which would be worse though—being intentionally ignored by the man she loved or being simply overlooked for some unknown reason.

Moving away from the door she had been leaning on, she started to search through her things to find an outfit she could get grimy. It was going to be a messy and tedious job she was taking on, but she was determined. She would not dwell on the sadness that was trying to creep its way into her life. She would find a way to exist, even as the ache in her heart threatened to consume her.

When the door shut behind Mary, Elizabeth looked at her husband with sorrow. "Oh, Wills, it is horrible to see her so sad when we are so happy. I know she would love her own husband and children, but it is more than that. I suspect she wants Mr. Goulding for her husband, and it is his children that she wishes to bear and raise."

Reaching out, William smoothed the hair away from her face before kissing her brow. "I fear he is hesitating because he wants better for her than what he can offer. Her sister is a countess, and he thinks that she could marry so much better than him. The foolish boy does not see that to Mary, he is better than any lord or duke."

With a twitch of her mouth, Elizabeth gritted her teeth in frustration. "If I know my sister, she thinks it is her looks or something of that sort keeping him from acting. What can we do to encourage the match? I will not have my sister sad for any longer than s be." Looking up at William, she allowed him to see the depths of her concern.

"I hope that if they work together, things will come to a head. Maybe they will argue and get all their problems out in the open," he said, smoothing a hand down her arm before taking her hand in his own. "I find arguments very enlightening on occasion."

Elizabeth beamed in response as she watched their son play on the bed with his small replica of Cadmus. "I wish my sisters were all as happy as I was. How did we have it so easy?"

Jerking back slightly, William looked down at Elizabeth. "Easy? Are you forgetting me constantly putting my boot in my mouth and Wickham trying to kill us both? Then there was your father. He was a whole problem."

"Yes, easy," Elizabeth laughed and leaned up to kiss the man responsible for so much of the happiness in her life. "If falling off a cliff made me see my love for you, it was easy in comparison to all the angst poor Mary is experiencing."

William moved to sit on the bed, settling in beside Elizabeth, before kissing her temple. "Oh, Lizziebet, sometimes your courage terrifies me," he confessed. They were silent for a moment, content watching their son as he abandoned his toy horse and joined them to play with the buttons on William's jacket. "Are you sure you are well? You were not this sick last time."

"I am well, I promise. Or if not well, I am well enough. Every pregnancy is different. Maybe this time we will get the girl I want." Leaning back, Elizabeth rested her head on her husband"s broad shoulder, his warmth lulling her into a light doze.