19. Chapter Nineteen

After his warm bath and the copious amounts of tea and porridge that Kiernan insisted he have, Gabriel searched out Darcy. He found him in his study looking over papers, but the man greeted him warmly when Gabriel knocked at the door. "Darcy, did you have a minute? I was hoping to talk to you."

"Come in, come in. Sit over here by the fire. How are you doing, Goulding? Have you warmed up enough from this morning?" Gesturing to the pair of chairs near a cheery fire, Darcy encouraged him to sit.

As he sat down, he could not help but hold his hands out to the warm blaze. Turning his gaze from the flickering flames to Darcy, he answered, "Yes, I am doing much better now. Have you heard of how my sister and Mary are doing?"

"While I hear from my wife that Mary is doing quite well, your sister seems to be fighting a high fever and a persistent cough." Pausing, Darcy seemed to realize that he may have misspoken and quickly added, "Jane is confident that she will recover with time and care, though, so you should not worry."

"Thank you, that is good to hear, though I will admit I am happy to leave the caring for my sister in Mrs. Bingley's capable hands. I have not the first notion of caring for a sick person. I will visit her after we finish speaking." Stopping to gather his thoughts, Gabriel looked back at the flames. How did you ask permission to marry someone? Was Darcy even the man he should speak to? Feeling his jaw pop in protest at how tightly he had been holding it, Gabriel forced himself to relax and plunge forward to speak about what he knew he must. "I… Well, I suppose you must know that I have long had feelings for Mary."

Grinning, Darcy sat back in his chair. "Yes, and if I had been unable to decipher it, my dear Elizabeth would long ago have bludgeoned me over the head with her hints."

"Well… Well, while Mary and I were stranded due to the storm, we had the time to have quite the discussion. At first, it was more like an argument, but eventually we came to an agreement." Fidgeting in his chair, he tugged at his borrowed cravat. "Darcy, I know I do not have much. I am not a first son, so I do not have an estate to offer her, or even wealth. Even fine clothes and jewels are not something I have at my disposal, but I love her, and I want to live my life with her. She has assured me most adamantly that she is not happy simply waiting around until I am able to support her in the manner to which she is accustomed to before becoming engaged." Rubbing his hands on his trousers, Gabriel tried to rid himself of the anxiety that was creeping up before continuing. "I have asked Mary to marry me, and she has accepted. I know she is of legal age and may marry where she chooses, but I would like her family"s blessing. So, I am asking you, will you approve of our marriage?"

Shaking his head, Darcy"s lips curved into a smile before he said, "Your feelings for my sister have not been well hidden, Goulding. We have long known which way the wind blew between the two of you and have mostly been waiting for it to all come to a head." Getting up, Darcy went to his sideboard and produced two glasses and a snifter of brandy. "If we had been unhappy with your suite, we would have done something about the way you were pining after one long ago."

"I had not realized that I was so obvious in my affection." Fighting the need to tug at his cravat again, Gabriel sighed.

"I would tell you to think nothing of it, but I can remember being in your shoes and I know how hard that advice will be to follow. As for your statements about being a second son. I found myself unconcerned with the issue." Pouring a measure of the amber liquid into a glass, he offered it to Gabriel. "Look at me. The love and affection that I share with my wife is a precious gift that I cherish every day. That is all I want and care for in my match with Elizabeth. It is the same with all the Bennet ladies. They do not seek out position or wealth, they seek love."

Accepting the drink, he savored the taste of the top-notch brandy, feeling the pleasant burn as it slid down his throat, bringing a cozy warmth to his body. He had been half afraid that Darcy would be upset about his audacity to want to marry Mary. That fear was dissolving like so much snow before a fire. He did, however, have another fear, and it peeked out as he looked around the room. Gabriel"s eyes were drawn to the beautiful things he lacked, knowing he would be unable to present them to the woman he adored. "They may not have sought wealth, but they all seem to have found it. I never want Mary to feel ashamed of what I can't provide for her."

Gesturing with glass in hand, Darcy replied, "Goulding, take this piece of advice from a man older than you, your future brother, in fact. The Bennet women"s pride doesn"t hinge on their outfits or the furniture"s appearance; rather, it stems from their commitment to love, respect, and facing the world as a united front. You have more to offer her than you think."

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the reassurance, but Gabriel started to realize that he had more to offer Mary than a lack of home. He had more than enough love and respect for her and, as for facing the world as a united front, it was something he would do with her any day of the week. "You are right. I love and respect her, and we have proven with how we worked together in the storm how well we can get on during life"s trials." Taking another sip of the brandy, Gabriel smiled. "You know that still doesn't solve the whole where to live problem."

"Do not worry, Between Theo, Bingley, and I we have nine estates. I am completely confident that you will have somewhere to live." Darcy smiled confidently, unaware of just how flabbergasted Gabriel had become.

Nine estates, yes. Gabriel was sure that they could find somewhere to live. "You do not seem to do anything by halves, do you, Darcy?"

Darcy had the decency to look abashed before replying, "No, I suppose I do not." Their laughter could be heard from the next room.

Gabriel stood at the morning room window watching the children play in the acuminated snow. They were having such unabashed fun. Little Eleanor was not coordinated enough to throw a snowball, but she could certainly throw handfuls of the stuff in every direction. Artie seemed determined to build a snowman, and he was doing a good job with the help of ever-loyal Kiernan. Had he or any of his siblings had that much unrestrained fun in their young lives? He thought not.

Their merry faces triggered a deep ache within him, as he yearned for children of his own, the image of them gleefully playing in the snow haunting his thoughts. Children that would have Mary's amazing eyes and the love and confidence that he realized that he never had. It was a happy realization that he was that much closer to having that dream come true. He was engaged to Mary and soon enough, they would be married. Children would follow and one day he would make sure that they had fun playing in the snow.

He wished his sister had the opportunity to play with the others in the snow, but perhaps she would get the chance to join in on the fun later in the winter. There was bound to be plenty of snow in the coming months. His sister was sleeping above stairs and though she still appeared to have a fever, it was not high enough to worry him too much. Mrs. Bingley and Mrs. Darcy seemed to have it all in hand. He knew they were borrowing clothes for her from some of the younger servants, who had gladly lent items of her size, but he did not want to deprive them of their possessions for longer than necessary.

Turning from the window with a smile full of longing. Gabriel went off to see about borrowing some outerwear. It was clear enough and warm enough that he thought he could make the trip home and back to retrieve some of his and Evaline's things. He also wanted to let his parents know about his engagement. He had a feeling that it would not be well received.

Coming down off of Fox, Gabriel looked to see John there with his own sturdy horse, happy and unfazed. They both seemed suited to action, none the worse for the trip from Netherfield. "Thank you for coming with me, John."

Coming down from the horse with ease. Which was saying something as his horse was larger than Darcy's Cadmus. "I never mind a good jaunt and Sampson here gets frustrated when he gets stuck in the stalls too long." Running his hand along the horse"s long mane, Johns seemed to speak to the giant animal.

"I should not be too long, I do not think. I just want to speak with my parents and gather a few things for Evaline and I." When it looked like John was not going to follow him in the building, he turned back to John and said, Would you like to wait in the kitchen? I am sure Mrs. Humphrey would love to ply you with tea or hot apple cider and biscuits."

"I am partial to hot apple cider. Let me just see to the horses and then I will come in." Nodding his head in thanks, he turned to speak to the approaching groom.

Entering the kitchen, Gabriel could already smell the delights that Mrs. Humphry was working on. If he was not wrong, there was ham and biscuits somewhere in the works as well as the hot apple cider that she always had going in the kitchen on wintry days. She swore by the healthful properties of the stuff, but he sometimes wondered if she just knew how much everyone enjoyed it. His mother adamantly refused to allow it to be served to the family, deeming it unfashionable. Gabriel went down to the kitchen and drank a cup with Mrs. Humphrey whenever he was in the mood.

"Oh, my boy!" Mrs. Humphrey's form enveloped Gabriel in a rush, nearly knocking the air out of him.

Returning her hug with affection, Gabriel patted her back reassuringly. She was deceptively strong for a woman of her age. Maybe it was all those heavy pots and pans she worked wonders with? "I am whole and hardy, merely waylaid by the storm."

"When you did not come back, I hoped that you had stayed at Netherfield. But I worry. You know how I worry." Stepping back from the hug, she searched the pockets in her apron for her handkerchief and dabbed at her watery eyes.

Giving a rueful grin and rubbing the back of his neck Gabriel disclosed the truth. "I wish I had been stranded at Netherfield. Evaline and I were at Longbourn when the storm rolled in."

Shaking her head, Mrs. Humphrey said, "That place is barely fit to house a house cat. You poor dear, but you seem alright. How is the young miss?"

"Not well. She had been exploring the garden when the storm blew in and became lost. We had to search for her. She is at Netherfield now but is sick with a fever and a cough." Gabriel hoped that his sister would recover from her ordeal with speed, but knew she was in safe hands.

Brow wrinkled with worry, she exclaimed, "Oh my, the poor thing. She would have been so scared. If she is sick though, there are no better hands for her to be in than those Bennet girls. They all know how to care for the sick. Just like their great grandmother Catherine, they are."

"Yes, I have seen with my own eyes how competent they all were when caring for Evaline." Gabriel remembered how Mary was able to aid Evaline with practically nothing at her disposal. She had been efficient and caring, doting on his sick sister with the utmost care.

Leaning back, Mrs. Humphrey looked up at Gabriel, her gaze searching. "Did you say we?" Her grin spread across her face, plumping her cheeks with joy.

Gabriel wondered how it was that she had realized what he hadn't said. "Mary Bennet also had to take shelter at Longbourn. And before you ask, yes, in the course of our time there, we came to an understanding. We are engaged." Gabriel knew that Mrs. Humphrey had long been aware of his affection for Mary. She often encouraged him to act, and he did not know why he had never followed her advice. He had doubted himself, but never his love for Mary, for that was sure.

"I knew it! I am so happy for you, my boy. She will be the making of you!" Reaching out, she patted his cheek like she always had when he was a child.

Gabriel"s smile radiated warmth and kindness as he gently patted the hand on his cheek. "Yes, I believe she will. Let's just hope my family feels the same way." Pulling back, Gabriel looked around the kitchen, realizing how much he would miss the place once he and Mary married and moved somewhere else. "I am going to pack some things for myself and Evaline before I speak with my parents. John, the groom who came with me, may come inside in a moment. I promised him cider." Gabriel's mind shifted to what he needed to accomplish and how to do it swiftly. He was planning for a swift exit once he delivered the news to his parents about his engagement.

"Ugh! Your family! Really, you should take nothing your family says to heart. The family you choose means more than blood sometimes. And meaning no insult, but your blood family does not merit much attention. There are better people you can fill your life with." Nodding her head decisively at the end of her speech, Mrs. Humphrey looked at Gabriel with clear eyes that spoke of wisdom.

Gabriel looked at Mrs. Humphrey in shock, wondering briefly if she was somehow related to the oracles of Delphi. She was right; he did not have to fill his life with his family"s pettiness. He could choose to spend time that he enjoyed and that would not make him disrespectful or ungrateful. Swooping down, he kissed her weathered cheek and grinned, "Thank you for your support, Mrs. Humphrey. I will come back through when I leave."

"You do that, my boy. I will see to John, and I will make up something for you to take back with you to tempt your sister to get to feeling better." Turning back to her table covered with various odds and ends, she called out to one of the scullery maids to look after the stew before it burned.

Gabriel watched her go about her work for a moment before turning and returning to his rooms. He would make sure to pack enough to last him a while. He did not know how long his sister would need to recuperate at Netherfield. Surely his valet would know how to get some of Evaline's things.

Looking around the parlor, Gabriel could instantly sense the difference between his family and Mary's. While his family was in the room, none of them had anything to do with one another. There was no talking, no kindness, no joy, and certainly not love.

He had been standing at the entrance to the room for some time, with no one noticing or caring. His mother sat in a chair near the window, her feet propped on a footstool, flipping through a fashion magazine. His father sat across the room reading a London paper. Jude was not present. He was probably off somewhere wreaking havoc or shooting small birds. Clearing his throat, he attempted to get his parents" attention.

"Oh, Gabriel, I was wondering where you had been." Mrs. Goulding barely glanced up before looking back down at the magazine in her lap. "Where have you been hiding?"

Rolling his eyes, Gabriel replied, "I was caught in the storm Mother, I had to take shelter at Longbourn."

His mother's impeccable face twisted into a revolted expression. "That place." Wrinkling her nose, she continued, "I told you, that place is not worth your time. Look what happened, you get stranded."

Already tired of his mother"s attitude, Gabriel could not help but say, "I would not have wanted to weather the storm without the building."

Not even bothering to look up while she chastised him, she turned the page of her magazine and said, "Do not be sarcastic, Gabriel. It is beneath you."

It was no use trying to get her to change her mind, so Gabriel responded the only way he could. "Yes, Mother."

Looking up at him finally, she said, "You know, I was implying that you should not have been wasting your time helping to repair that place for those people. You should be in London or maybe Bath looking for an heiress. If you are not going to become a cleric or soldier, then it really is the only option open to you." Looking back down at her magazine, she turned the page.

"I am not ashamed of working, mother, but that is not the conversation I have come to have with you and father." Looking over to see his father still looking at the same page of his paper, Gabriel shook his head. Was he even awake? "I was stuck in a snowstorm with Evaline and had to take shelter at Longbourn. Mary Bennet was also there, thank goodness, because when Evaline became sick, Mary was able to help."

Looking at him in confusion, she asked, "You had Evaline with you?"

It astounded him at the lack of care she had for her daughter. Had she really not realized her daughter was away from the home for more than a day? She had allowed him to bring her with him to visit Netherfield. Then again, she had not been paying much attention to him when he spoke to her about it. "Yes, she came with me. I wanted to introduce her to Mrs. Darcy and Mrs. Bingley."

"Oh, that is right." Looking at the next page, his mother tilted her head, examining the dress on the page. "You say she became ill. Did you bring her back?"

"No, she is far too ill to travel. The ladies at Netherfield are caring for her at the moment. Mrs. Bingley suspects it will be some days or possibly weeks before she is fully recovered." Would his mother finally react appropriately to hear the seriousness of her child's illness?

"I suppose that is just as well. I am not one for having illness in the house." Mrs. Goulding's nose wrinkled once more.

Gabriel took several calming breaths. It was no use. He might as well just plunge in with the news and be gone. "Mother and Father, I have come back from Netherfield to gather some things for myself and Evaline. I plan to stay there while she recovers, so that she is not alone. Before I go, I wanted you to know that Mary and I are engaged. We have not set a date, but I am thrilled that she has accepted me."

The magazine in his mother's hands snapped shut. "What?"

That had certainly grabbed her attention. Gabriel waited while she seemed to struggle to form words. Her mouth twitched in a comical fashion, opening and closing repeatedly. It would not do to laugh at her, but she would have to speak soon, or he might lose his struggle to remain composed.

Finally finding the ability to form words, his mother finally protested, "If you are getting engaged because of having to take shelter with her unchaperoned, do not worry so. Everyone in town knows of her father"s problems and machinations. I am sure that we can manage things. Just because she is crying, compromise does not mean you must comply."

Gabriel"s entire body tensed up, his fists clenching involuntarily at his mother"s horrible words and attitude. Taking a deep breath, Gabriel struggled to be able to open his mouth without raising his voice. He finally managed to say, "Mother, I would be very careful of how you speak of the woman I love. Yes, we are engaged, but it is not because of any supposed compromise."

"Gregory! Are you listening to this?" Looking over at her husband across the room in irritation, she waited a moment and then screeched. "Gregory!"

Gabriel's father jerked in place behind the paper and Gabriel was able to confirm that his father had, in fact, been asleep. "Hmm…what now?" Looking at his wife, he blinked repeatedly, as if trying to get his bearings.

Frowning, Mrs. Goulding gestured at Gabriel. "Your son has engaged himself to a Bennet chit!"

Mr. Goulding folded his paper and set it aside, looking confused. "I thought those girls were married?"

All but rolling her eyes, Mrs. Goulding responded, "Only three of them."

Tilting his head, Mr. Goulding asked his wife, "How many of them are there?"

"Five," she answered with a harrumph.

"Five is entirely too many daughters in my opinion," shaking his head Mr. Goulding looked from his wife to his son asking, "and you are engaged to one, Gabriel?"

Gabriel had watched the back and forth between his parents with grim distaste. It was a pattern he had seen repeated throughout his life. His parents lived in their own separate worlds that merely overlapped in physical space. They only came together to do something when forced to. If his father had been the one to start the conversation, it would have run the same course. Rubbing at the side of his nose to try to stem his aggravation, he replied. "Yes, father," he answered, his heart beating with joy despite the circumstances. It still thrilled him to be so connected to Mary. "Miss Mary Bennet has done me the honor of accepting my hand, and I am officially betrothed to her. I realize you won"t care to listen, but I have long been in love with her, and I am overwhelmingly happy about how everything has turned out."

His mother made a sound akin to a cat before beginning her tirade. "Feelings! Really? Maybe I should have spent more time explaining the world to you. I thought I would have to focus on Evaline. I knew that I would have to train such idiotic notions out of her. Young girls are always foolish, but I never suspected I would have to worry about my son." Throwing her hands up in frustration, she stood and paced through the room.

His father looked at his wife and then his son. "Are you sure that you wish to proceed with this, my son? Mr. Bennet was not well liked in these parts. Do you want to be so connected to such an infamous man?"

Looking at his father with his eyebrows drawn into a hard line, Gabriel responded by saying, "Father, while Mr. Bennet was a horrible man, his widow and daughters are nothing but the best women I have ever known. Besides Mr. Thomas Bennet, the entire Bennet family line has been known for their kindness and generosity."

"Really, Gabriel, the thought of the Goulding name being connected to a dissolute bankrupt man is beyond baring." Huffing, his mother punctuated her statement with a stomp of her foot.

Gabriel forced himself not to roll his eyes. His mother could be very theatrical when she wanted to be. Knowing that he could not open his mouth without being disrespectful, he waited to speak until questioned directly.

Beginning to look ponderous, Mr. Goulding Sr. cleared his throat. Then, looking at his disgruntled wife, he addressed her, "Maybe you are looking at this the wrong way, my dear. Didn't you say that one of the girls had married an earl this last season?"

Freezing in the middle of her most recent round of pacing, she said, "Yes, I will never understand how she managed it. I suspect some very underhanded plot to compromise him or something of the like." She then continued her pacing, albeit slower than before.

"With our son married into the family, we will then have connections to the earl. Think of what you can say to your friends." He cajoled.

His mother halted in her tracks. "That is true. If Gabriel were to become a brother-in-law to an earl, it would be something we would not have to be embarrassed about. That sounds much better than being connected to a Bennet. You are right, my dear. I can spin this so that we may save face. You may marry the chit, Gabriel. I am sure that I can teach her how to run a household properly." Moving back to her chair, his mother sat and took the magazine in her hand, reopening it and dismissing him from her attention.

Looking at his father, Gabriel waited to see if he had anything else to say. Part of Gabriel wanted to refute what his mother had been going on about, but he knew from experience that he was incapable of changing her mind.

His father grinned as if he had solved some great problem. "Well there, you may marry your Bennet girl, though I would suggest not having five girls. It is not at all the thing, my son." Then, opening his paper again, his father returned his attention to whatever he had been pretending to read before he had been awakened.

Seeing that he had been basically dismissed, Gabriel left the room and went down to the kitchen. He had asked for his things to be taken there by his valet. Pearson would come to Netherfield in a day or so with more items. Gabriel really would rather spend his time at Netherfield with Mary than at his family"s home. At Netherfield, there would be warmth and joy and a loving atmosphere. Why would he stay elsewhere?

In the kitchen, Mrs. Humphrey was just wrapping up something and putting it in a saddlebag. "You look as if you have been in a bit of a battle, my boy."

"It certainly feels as if I have. At least they have now decided that I may marry Mary. Not that I would do anything else." Shaking his head, Gabriel raked his fingers through his hair. "I let them talk, but I was not happy about the way they talked about Mary and her family. I cannot understand why my mother is so set against the Bennets."

"Didn't you know that your mother used the fact that Mr. Bennet lost Longbourn to crow about the fact that she now is mistress of the biggest estate around Meryton? Longbourn and Netherfield are both larger than Oakhill, but with them empty, it put her at the top of the local pecking order." Picking up a dirty bowl, she put it into a stack with others that would be washed later. Tucking another item into the saddlebag, she hefted it up and gave it to him. "With Longbourn being redone, I think she fears losing her status in her circle of friends. By badmouthing the Bennets, she may think she can hold her position, but too many people know what those girls did for the people of Longbourn. The town will not be fooled."

Moving the saddlebag over his shoulder, Gabriel frowned. "I never would have thought anyone would be unhappy to see Longbourn brought back to its previous standing. You are glad that I am working to rebuild Longbourn, right?"

Cleaning up around her as she spoke, Mrs. Humphrey said, "I am glad that Longbourn will be restored to its former grandeur. For well over two centuries, Longbourn served as the cherished family home of the Bennets, earning the utmost respect and admiration from all who beheld it." Pausing in her clearing of the counter, she looked up and said, "Though I think that it is a pity that there will be no more Bennets to uphold its good traditions."

As Gabriel said goodbye and then mounted his horse to return to Netherfield, he could not get the things Mrs. Humphrey said out of his mind. It was not a long journey back to Netherfield, but he thought the whole way. By the time he arrived, he had a vague outline of a plan in mind. Smiling, he went into the building, eager for dinner to arrive. He had something he wanted to say.