Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Two days later, I strolled into the General Store to pick up my grocery order and maybe have a chat with Walter, if he wasn’t busy. The store was empty when I walked inside—and I mean really empty. Walter wasn’t even in sight. I called out and heard a muffled answer from the storeroom, but I couldn’t make out what was said. I figured he’d be out soon, so I slid onto the stool I usually occupied when I took some time to talk and waited.

A couple minutes later, Walter and Ida Belle came out the storeroom door, both looking rumpled and red-faced. I raised one eyebrow and as Ida Belle started to talk, I lifted one hand.

“No,” I said, just as she always did to Gertie.

“Oh good grief!” Ida Belle said. “It wasn’t that! We’re not uncouth like some people. I was trying to help Walter move some boxes back there, but they have proven to be too much, even for the two of us.”

“I can help,” I said. “Surely the three of us can manage.”

Walter nodded. “Ida Belle and I only needed another 15 percent and we’d have been there. You’ll be another 80 percent. We could probably throw the boxes across the room. ”

“I don’t think shot-putting your stock is good for business,” Ida Belle said as we headed into the storeroom.

Walter indicated the boxes in question, on a pallet outside the loading door, and where he wanted them inside, and we all grabbed a corner. The boxes were bulky and definitely had some weight to them, so I could see why the two of them had struggled, but with three of us, they were no problem. We got them all moved, then headed inside where Walter pulled us all out a bottled water and we sat around the register.

“I talked to Carter this morning,” Walter said. “Alexander told him he expects a settlement offer quickly.”

I nodded. “They don’t want this to come out. If people knew what Kitts got away with all those years, it would be a really bad look.”

“You think they’ll accept an offer?”

“They won’t be accepting the first offer, but they’ll agree when Alexander tells them it’s the best offer. They’re all honorable men and women. They don’t want to damage the military beyond repair, and that’s exactly what a trial would do. They still believe that the men and women serving are doing it for this country and its citizens. They just want to make it painful enough so that men like Kitts can’t get away with that level of treachery again, and so that they have the funds to help the soldiers and families of soldiers who are struggling because of service injuries and fatalities.”

Walter nodded. “I can agree with all of that. Have you heard anything about that mercenary that you left alive?”

“Yeah, he’s locked up. No bail.”

“If it goes to trial, do you think he’ll get life?” Ida Belle asked.

“He won’t make it to trial. He’ll end up like Kitts. I’m sure he had plenty of clients, and none of them are interested in the information he could offer up in exchange for a deal being exposed.”

Walter studied me for a moment. “Does it bother you at all?”

“No,” I said honestly. “He made his choice when he became a mercenary. He knew the caliber of people he was working for and what they were capable of. I’m only bothered by the death of the innocents he killed, something we’ll never get a tally on.”

Walter slowly nodded. “I understand why all of this weighed so heavy on Carter, but I think your take is still the healthy one.”

“Carter is doing much better,” I said. “He’s going to be fine. He’s still a little intense, but he’s well on his way to a good place. I think you can all put up your microscopes.”

I looked at Ida Belle. “Speaking of keeping eyes on people, where’s Gertie today? When I didn’t hear from you this morning, I figured I’d run into the two of you here.”

“She sent me a text this morning saying she was waiting on a package to be delivered that she had to sign for,” Ida Belle said.

“I’m afraid to ask,” I said.

“So was I, which is why I didn’t.”

“I just hope it’s nothing to do with sexy time,” I said. “Or at least, nothing that requires Carter and me to rescue her.”

Walter blushed and I couldn’t help but smile. He was so incredibly proper and it was beyond cute.

“I think I need to do some inventory,” he said and hurried back into the storeroom.

“Well, I guess if she’s already ordered it—whatever it is—it’s too late to lodge a complaint,” Ida Belle said. “Maybe you should turn your phone off at night, although I suppose that doesn’t do much good given Carter is sheriff. I’m glad Walter didn’t go into law enforcement.”

“Between Gertie and Celia, I’m sure Walter is too.”

I stared out the window as a truck with a horse trailer drove down Main Street, and then I rushed to the window, jaw dropped.

“Did you see that?” I asked Ida Belle.

She frowned as she leaned over to see the truck rounding a corner into the neighborhood. “A truck and horse trailer aren’t exactly uncommon around here. I thought you’d seen something cool—like a Lamborghini.”

“Did you recognize that truck?” I asked, starting to panic.

“No,” she replied, and jumped off her stool, now sensing that something was wrong.

“That wasn’t a horse I saw in the back. It was a camel.”

Her eyes widened, and I knew she had locked into exactly what I was thinking.

“We’ve got to run!” she yelled to Walter.

“Where are you guys?—”

I heard him asking as we sprinted out the door, and I saw him standing in the plate glass window of the store as Ida Belle threw her SUV in Reverse and squealed out of the parking space. But we didn’t have time to explain.

Because there was only one place in Sinful that camel could be going.

Gertie was standing behind the trailer as a man led the camel out. She glanced over as Ida Belle peeled around the corner and started waving like we were all about to go on a magical journey.

“Good. God,” Ida Belle said. “It is a camel. ”

“Did you think I was wrong?”

“I was praying that you’d had a PTSD flash.”

I nodded. I understood. We’d all be better off if I’d had a mental moment than we were going to be with Gertie buying a camel. Had she learned nothing in the marketplace in Khasab?

Ida Belle slowed as we approached and parked a house down from Gertie’s, which was smart. After seeing the damage that camel had done to shopping carts, I didn’t want to see what one would make of her SUV. Gertie was clapping as the camel walked down the ramp, and she looked over at us, beaming as though she’d just won the lottery.

“Isn’t he incredible?” she asked as we approached. “His name is Clyde.”

“Please tell me you’re renting him for a party at Nora’s,” Ida Belle said, one hand over her mouth.

Gertie frowned. “Nora’s not having a party, and I don’t think she’d want a camel there even if she was. Her cat is afraid of dogs. I have no idea what he’d make of this guy.”

“I’m not entirely sure what us or the rest of Sinful are going to make of this guy,” I said. “Where do you plan on keeping him? You know he can’t live in your house, right? You saw how well that went with Godzilla, and I’m going to hazard a guess that Clyde isn’t housebroken.”

The man holding the camel chuckled. “I had a mama pass after delivering and I raised one myself right in the kitchen. Had to replace the screen door a dozen times at least. He’s grown now but keeps coming inside wanting to hang out.”

I made a mental note to never eat anything from this strange man’s kitchen as he passed the lead to Gertie. “Welp,” he said, “he’s all yours now. You got the instructions and all by email, right? If you don’t have any questions, I best get going. It’s a long drive back to Arizona.”

“I’ve got everything,” Gertie verified .

He nodded. “Call if you need anything. Ladies.” He tipped his head toward me and Ida Belle.

“Wait!” Ida Belle said. “You can’t just leave a camel here.”

He scrunched his brow. “She paid for him—delivery too. Where else would you like him to go?”

“Back to the desert?” Ida Belle suggested. “He can’t live in a suburb surrounded by a swamp.”

“Sure he can,” Gertie said. “I already checked the town regulations, and camel ownership is not mentioned anywhere.”

Ida Belle threw her hands in the air. “Why would it be? This is Louisiana. Not the desert. There are no laws about camels because they’re not supposed to be here.”

“Well, they are now,” Gertie said. “At least this one is.”

As the two argued, I noticed the driver had closed the trailer and slunk back into his truck. As it fired up, Ida Belle glanced over and realized he was leaving. Then she really looked nervous.

“You can’t keep that camel in your house,” she said.

“Of course not. He’ll go in my shed in the backyard.”

Ida Belle’s jaw clenched. “You told me I was helping to reinforce that shed so that the stuff you stored in it would be safe.”

Gertie nodded. “And now, because of your help, Clyde will be safe in the shed.”

“Do you not have a clear recollection of the damage your last camel ride caused?” I asked. “Because I can pull up the video.”

Gertie waved a hand in dismissal. “That was a fluke. He got spooked and the halter broke.”

“There’s a million things here that camel has never seen,” Ida Belle said. “And that halter he’s wearing doesn’t look strong enough to hold a collie.”

“I’ll get a new one,” Gertie said. “And I’ll expose him to the local things a little at a time. Then I can ride him everywhere like Sheriff Lee does his horse.”

Since I’d seen Lee’s horse in places and situations that he had no place being—and with consequences that weren’t favorable to Sheriff Lee, the horse, or anyone else—that sounded more like a threat than an assurance.

“And just think,” Gertie continued, “I’ll be the only wise man with my own camel at the Christmas gala.”

Ida Belle’s look of dismay was priceless. “Because your bird wasn’t enough of a problem? You figured introducing a camel to the Christmas gala would be an improvement on what? The terror? The potential for a lawsuit? Of all the things you’ve done before, this has got to rank second-worst decision ever.”

“What was the first?” I asked.

“Bringing that gator home in her pants,” Ida Belle said.

“Ah.” I nodded. “Well, the camel is here now and the guy who sold him is gone, so he has to stay somewhere, at least until Gertie can find a place for him.”

“Who the heck is going to take a camel?” Ida Belle asked.

“A stable?” I suggested.

Gertie brightened. “I’ll tell them he’s a Middle Eastern sort of horse.”

“So that they’ll think he’s an Arabian and you’ll show up with this?” Ida Belle shook her head.

“Well, while you stand here and stew, I’m going to try him out,” Gertie said and strolled around to the other side of the giant brown beast, who looked as if he’d gone to sleep standing there.

Maybe Clyde and Sheriff Lee’s horse had more in common than we thought.

“You are not riding that camel!” Ida Belle said.

“Too late.” Gertie grinned as she swung up onto the saddle.

I peered around the side and realized that trailer guy had left a stool next to the camel. Great. Fortunately, the camel still looked uninterested in moving from the spot, but that was all subject to change. It wasn’t as if living, breathing things had an Off and On switch.

Or maybe they did.

We’d all forgotten today was tornado siren testing day. But it was clearly an On switch for Clyde. As soon as the first wails echoed through Sinful, the camel’s eyes popped open and he bolted, Gertie clinging to the strap on his middle as he loped away.

I started to chase him, but Ida Belle ran for her SUV. “You’re fast, but you can’t outlast that camel,” she said. “And he’s got a lot more open space here than the one in that market did.”

I jumped into the SUV and we took off just as the camel rounded the corner. I heard the sound of vehicles slamming on their brakes, but fortunately no sounds of accidents. When we turned the corner, I spotted the camel about to enter the park, Gertie still on board.

“At least he’s moving for open land,” I said.

“Open land with kids playing,” Ida Belle said. “They’re out of school today for teachers’ training.”

Ida Belle floored the SUV and we shot off for the park, but she had called it correctly. There were kids everywhere, and she couldn’t follow the camel with the SUV. The rest of this would be a footrace.

I jumped out of the SUV before she’d even come to a complete stop and sprinted after the camel, who I could see now was well into panic mode. Kids and parents screamed as they ran to flee the charging beast, who made a quick turn every time he met with panicked people. Unfortunately, that had him going around in a bit of a tight circle, and I was amazed Gertie had remained seated through all of it .

When he finally stopped spinning, he loped off and looked as sturdy as Father Michael did after…well, pretty much any day after leaving his house. Good God. A dizzy, panicked camel was not a good look for a crowded park. Gertie pulled frantically on the reins but with the screaming kids and parents and the wailing siren, there was no way the camel was going to stop.

I was about twenty feet behind him when he made a hard left turn and ran back toward the road, but as he approached a swing set for the smaller kids, he was swerving so much that instead of missing the swings, he ran right through the center of them. The tripod structure had a regular swing on each end and an old tire hung in the center attached to the top of the frame for kids to hang off.

Unfortunately, it was the perfect height to catch the camel’s head.

As he swerved toward the center of the swing set, his head hit the bull’s-eye that was the tire, but instead of stopping when his head popped through it, he got even more scared and dialed things up, ripping the entire swing set out of the ground as he bolted.

With kids on the two swings!