33. Justine

"How come I didn't hear about any of this?" I was speaking out loud to myself after reading the notification that came across my screen. What the hell did that idiot do now?

I read through the news clip before pressing the read more button, thinking that maybe it was a hoax or a prank. Which made no sense when you think about it because who would even bother?

The few friends I kept from my old life wouldn't even think of doing something like this; besides, they hate Paul for what he did to me and the girls. Personally, from what I've seen, divorce is kind of like death to some people. They never think about their own mortality until someone close to them dies; it's the same thing with divorce.

My divorce seemed to make some of the women in my mommy and me groups take a hard look at themselves and their own situations, and they did not like what they saw. It brought home the precarious positions some of them were in, and they wanted nothing to do with anyone who would do such a thing to their own family, let alone let that person near theirs.

On that note, I've had to cull the flock because some of those so-called friends, once they learned of my new marriage, seemed to think it was a good idea to try to climb the proverbial ladder by climbing my husband.

Now, I didn't see this happen with my own two eyes, but Mo passed on the details of how one such friend was demoralized by the scathing response she got from Marcus when she tried not so subtly to test the waters.

That experience kind of opened my eyes to why people who win the lottery tend to disappear from their old lives if they have any sense. Because I didn't marry Marcus for his money, I guess I kind of overlooked the fact that there are some women who only see dollar signs when they look at him.

‘If they knew about that monster cock of his, they'd run your ass over to get to him. Stupid. I told you, you don't need no damn friends, especially the ones with slits. Them things is slick. And you know you can't have any with dicks because that caveman you married would snatch your ass bald.'

Why are you so negative and grumpy?

‘Why are you so big and clumsy? Why did your man booby trap the bed so that if you move, he would know? Why is there a bell around your damn ankle?"

Okay, okay, I get it, you're upset. But you can't blame me.

‘Who should I blame then? Wasn't it you that crept downstairs in the middle of the night and got caught having a pig fest that led to you crying all night about heartburn?'

I was hungry.

‘Bitch you're always hungry, now look at you. You can't go to the bathroom without asking, or you'll get your ass beat.'

And you're stuck here with me, so shut up.

‘The hell I am. I'm just sticking around for the drama because you two never disappoint.'

Hush, let me finish reading what I'm reading here.

‘What is it?'

Something about Paul being sentenced; I didn't even know he was arrested. Where have I been under a rock?

‘No, your ass has been on house arrest for damn near seven months. Because you can't see your own damn feet, and your husband is a little bit touched, bless his heart.'

Stop badmouthing my husband.

‘Shit, he's so damn touchous with his bebe's kids.' I ignored him and carried on reading. "Thirty-five years, what the fuck? What the hell did he do kill somebody?"

Oh, my goodness, Paul was a thief? How the hell did I not know that? I felt a shiver run down my spine. Is this real? I almost wanted to go find Marcus and ask him if he'd had something to do with this, but as soon as I had the thought, it disappeared, and I felt just a tad bit ashamed of myself for even thinking it.

From what I've seen, he's not the type, and Paul has proven that he's more than capable of embezzling funds. My first thought was for the girls and how this would affect them. There's been very little change in their life since the divorce except, of course, for the fact that their father is no longer around.

Only Gracie asked about him for a few months since she was old enough to realize that something was wrong, but Emma and Susie had adjusted pretty well to their new lives. Gracie's coming along as well, but that could be due to the therapist Marcus had insisted she see.

Of course, Marcus can't do anything normal, so the therapist comes here, and he or I watch them through the monitor. When I asked him why, he said when she was old enough to protect herself, she could be on her own, and he would no longer monitor her sessions if they continued.

But while she's this young, he wouldn't trust anyone except the two of us and, of course, Monique and Carl. I sometimes wonder about the things he's seen in his travels that make him so distrustful of people.

I read the rest of the write-up and wasn't sure what to feel. Was it callous not to feel anything at all? There was nothing there. No anger, hate, nothing. I didn't even feel bad that he was not going to be there for the girls because the truth is, I was dreading having to work out a custody deal with him where I'd have to allow my kids to spend time with him and the woman who had destroyed our home.

So I did feel something: relief. But nothing I wanted to jump for joy over. It's sad, but I might as well have been reading about one of the neighbors. I took a few minutes to see if that would change, but nope, it was like closing the book on a chapter in my life. Now I just had to decide what I was going to tell the girls and when. Hopefully, I won't need to think about that for a long time.

"What are you reading?" I almost fell out of bed.

"When did you get in here? I didn't hear you."

"What are you reading?"

‘Girl, don't even think about lying because that man has been standing over you for two minutes already.'

"Oh, this thing just came across my screen about Paul being sentenced. Funny, I didn't even know he'd been arrested."

"And what would you have done if you had known?"

"Nothing, I'm just saying. I was mar…. Oooh, nothing." If looks could kill.

Okay, damn, don't remind you that I was married with three kids before we met.

‘Ooh girl, I feel a dicking down coming on. With your stupid ass!'

* * *

Oh,damn, you were right, Justice.

‘Too bad he found your hidey hole, or you coulda made a run for it.'

I can't run; look at me.

I'm complaining, but I'm secretly tickled that my husband can't keep his hands off of me. Even though we have to take it easy because we're close to my due date, and the doctor cautioned that there's a strong possibility that I won't make it to term.

On the other hand, it always relaxes me, so even though Marcus thought he was punishing me, I won. ‘Hey, Jabba, roll over; you know you're not supposed to stay on your back for too long.'

Help me up.

‘How the hell am I supposed to do that? And you better not call your husband for help, or he'll lecture me into a coma.'

‘I don't understand, you"re the one doing stupid shit, and I have to sit through his mini tantrums.'

He's not lying. Before he left after depleting my energy resources, Marcus had lectured me about stressing myself out over stupid shit; all the while, he was fitting me around the body pillow with another mountain of soft fluffy pillows at my back, but as soon as he left, I sprawled out across the bed because my cooch was hot from all that friction. Now, I can't roll myself over.

‘As soon as you drop this litter, I'm giving you two weeks to heal because that shit he just did there; we need an encore, only without your spawn in the way.'

It takes longer than two weeks to heal.

‘Well, you better figure that shit out.'

I didn't even get to ask about Paul, and now I don't have a phone to search because he took my damn phone. How can someone be so damn jealous over nothing? Petty ass!

‘I don't care how petty it is, you better use that shit every chance you get.'

Use what?

‘What do you mean use what? That man damn near sprained your back just for mentioning your ex-husband's name. Don't you like good dick? How is it that you made it out the womb, and I didn't?'

‘Look here, Clarabelle.'

Who the hell is Clarabelle?

‘That cow you used to watch when you were a kid. The Disney one.'

What the hell? How do you remember that?

‘Never mind all that Biggie Smalls. As I was saying, from now on, whenever we want a good screwing, do that. Just mention the first initial in your ex's name, and I promise you're gonna get it.'

‘I could see it in his face; he was only holding back because of that belly.'

Hey, I thought you said you don't stay around for the sexy time.

‘This bitch.'