Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

C hristine was in turmoil, and there was no one she could talk to about it. She was marrying the Duke an she had not seen or heard from him for the past there weeks. To vocalize her thoughts and feelings would only mean admitting the pit she had fallen into. No matter which way she looked at it, she had been lured into a trap, and there was no getting out.

"My goodness, you look wonderful," her mother said.

"Thank you, Mother," Christine replied. "Please, you must sit and save your strength."

Two footmen had come to the small chapel with Ethel to help her around. Christine wanted nothing more than to have her mother at her wedding, but she had begged her mother to stay in her bed. There had been a time when she had been first diagnosed, and she had attended a dinner party with Cornelius, and it almost killed her.

Christine was already in turmoil, and seeing how strained her mother was only made things worse.

"Yes, you must go inside and take your seat, my dear," Cornelius said. He had also tried to convince her to stay home, but there was no convincing her.

"I shall go in with her," Irene said. "Is it not wonderful that you are getting married, and Mother is here, and it is the best day ever."

Christine knew when her sister was excited, but she was usually the only one. Irene's eyes usually widened ever so slightly, and her voice had a different lilt; there was sometimes a skip in her step. Irene was almost always reserved and shy, and her excitement didn't take her far from that comfort zone. This was the most vocal and giddy Christine had seen her sister in a long time.

She watched Irene and her mother enter the small chapel and was glad they were both with her.

"You really do look beautiful, my dear," Cornelius said. "I am so proud of you."

"Thank you, Father." Christine did not feel pride in marrying the Duke of Aldworth, but she did enjoy her father's mood. He knew the Duke as well as she did and knew that while it was a favorable match in many ways, it was not a good match in more.

Perhaps he did ask for her hand to save her blushes, but Christine knew there was more to it than that. The Duke could arrange a marriage easily with someone else, but he had chosen her after knowing her for fifteen minutes. They had practically argued for the entirety of their courtship, and he still went ahead with the wedding.

Why does he wish to marry me when we both dislike each other? Perhaps he is attracted to me, but it is as if he wishes to marry someone he does not like in order to punish himself.

"You will be fine in there," Cornelius told his daughter.

"I know."

"And you will work things out," he added. "Most marriages nowadays are done for convenience, and most people still fall in love. I am sure you will, too."

"You and Mother are in love," Christine noted. "You were in love before you married."

"If we weren't, I would have fallen in love with her after we wed. The best way to find love is to spend a lot of time with the person. That is easier to do after you are married."

Christine pursed her lips and nodded. She was sure that was the case for many people, but it would not be for her. Their marriage might be fun at times, exciting, and confrontational, but she did not foresee love.

"Thank you for being here with me, Father. And it really is wonderful for Mother to be out of the house, let alone the bed. I hope it does not take too much of a toll," Christine said.

"We will deal with it. She would not miss this for the world."

There were no clouds in the blue sky above; they had all descended to fill Christine's soul. It was not only her future but the future of others. Her mother would be more tired for the foreseeable future, and her father would have to care for her.

"I'm ready," Christine said.

She took her father's arm, and they walked into the small chapel together.

Christine started to shake as she crossed over the threshold. The air changed, and it became dense and thick. Her eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness in the chapel—it was not dark, but the change from sunlight to candlelight made it seem like it.

Then she saw the Duke.

He wore a pristine black tailcoat and trousers, each crease finally pressed. The tailcoat perfectly matched his jet-black hair, and the darkness of his attire added more mystery to his eyes. He stood tall at the front of the chapel, flanked by his good friend, Viscount Chiverton, whom she had been introduced to once in the lead-up to the wedding.

Christine had doubts and concerns, but all she could think about was how handsome the Duke looked. The only thing that was getting her through the day was what would happen that night. The thought of it made her knees go weak, both in terror and excitement. When she thought of her future, it was the only thing she was currently looking forward to.

As she walked down the aisle, the thought of being in the Duke's bed brought back the unwanted thoughts. He was a known rake, and everyone knew it. She had barely spoken to the Duke over the past three weeks, but she did not know if she would have the courage to bring it up with him.

When they were married, she did not expect him to give up his old life. He was not marrying her because he wanted her as a wife, so why would he stop sleeping with the women of London?

Christine reached the front of the chapel with her father, and he handed her off to the Duke.

His Grace shook Cornelius's hand, and Cornelius took his seat beside his wife, who looked ready to drop.

"You look incredible," the Duke informed her.

Nothing would make Christine content with the decision made for her, but she clung to the words like a life belt in a stormy sea. It was all she had in the marriage. The Duke was attracted to her, and it gave her confidence. She knew that most men in the world were only after one thing, but when the Duke complimented her, it felt real, even if he wanted the same thing as everyone else.

"Thank you," Christine replied. "You look very handsome, Your Grace."

"I always do," he said.

Butterflies flapped furiously in her stomach as she stood beside the Duke at the front of the chapel. Christine wondered what would happen if she ran from the chapel and never looked back. She knew she would not, but her mind contemplated it, soaring out of the doors and high above the buildings.

For a moment, she was free. When the minister began the service, she knew she would never be free again.

It is comical! I have tried hard to find Irene a husband, and I am the one who has somehow stumbled into marriage.

She wanted to laugh, but the seriousness of the situation and having her mother out of the house halted her. Yet, the more she stifled her laughs, the more they weighed on her mind, and she could feel herself about to snap. The laughter echoed in her head, drowning out the words spoken by the priest, but she somehow managed to say the right things at the right times. It was as if she were in someone else's body, seeing through their eyes but unable to control anything.

And then he was there before her. The Duke locked eyes with her, and she was stirred from her stupor. The emotions came rushing back, but the one that won the race was her excitement. She felt it in her heart and stomach. She had been thinking about kissing him since she had run from him at her home.

Home! That is not my home anymore.

Her mind tried to distract her, but it could only do so much. His musk was in her nose again, and she took a deep breath, only becoming more intoxicated. She could not see anyone except the Duke.

My husband!

They were married, she realized. It was all happening so fast, yet the kiss took an eternity in the midst of it. She felt his warm breath first and then the warm touch of his supple lips.

She closed her eyes involuntarily and leaned down into the warmness of his embrace. His arms were on her back. She did not know if she would have fallen without him catching her. She could not see anything nor feel anything except the Duke.

It was the first time she had kissed a man.

A stifled gasp as his tongue darted into her mouth and back out again. Everything was wiped from her mind except that tongue. She longed to taste it again, to feel it on her body. Her mind ached, and she screamed out for him.

Then, she was moving past the small congregation. Her family was in the front row on one side, and the Duke's was on the other. His mother and sister sat together. The Dowager Duchess regarded Christine with eyes that looked rife with sleeplessness, while Adeline had her hands clasped and a sweet smile on her face.

Christine opened her eyes. She was walking through the chapel on the Duke's arm.

I closed my eyes a lady and opened them to a duchess!

She would never get used to it—she would not get used to any of it. She didn't even know what she would have to get used to. Christine didn't know what her life was anymore.

"You are so beautiful."

"What a wonderful couple."

"Congratulations to His Grace and Her Grace!"

Shouts came from all around, but Christine could not pick out who was saying them. She caught her mother's face, and she looked both ghostly and elated. It stressed Christine as much as it did her mother.

Then, a flood of light as they exited the chapel. Christine was in a daze, flowing in a vast ocean of golden goo. She could not navigate it by herself, so she gripped the Duke. She held onto his arm tight and could hear him say something muffled but could not make out the words.

Her ears rang as she was guided across the packed dirt to the waiting coach. The Duke helped her in, and he took a seat beside her. She clung to his arm and placed her head on his shoulder. She looked out of the window as the coach pulled away, seeing the familiar faces disappear as they left for Aldworth Manor.

"I can't go home now," Christine muttered.