Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

C hristine could not sit still. Whenever she had a moment to herself when she was not doing anything, she could only think of the night in the Duke's room. It had been the best and worst night of her life.

She could not close her eyes without seeing his bare chest or the furious look in his eyes when he had sent her away. She could not become lost in a daydream without feeling his hands on her body once more, only to be reminded that she would never have him touch her ever again.

He had been very clear about it. He had said as much, but it was not his words that convinced her but the look in his eyes.

Christine needed to talk about it with someone, but there was no one. How could she tell anyone that she would never have a family? She would never have love. She would never have pleasure. She lived in a house where she would never want for anything, but after being rejected, the only thing she wanted in life was to have the marriage that was expected by society.

She knew it could only be her fault. She had done something or said something, or she was just not good enough for him.

"Adeline!" Christine shouted when she spotted the Duke's sister walking purposefully down the hallway.

Adeline stopped and turned. She had a warm smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye.

"Were you off to somewhere?" Christine called as she walked toward the young woman.

"I was going to write a letter to Mother asking if she would come back and join us on the estate for a while," Adeline replied. "If she will not, I will make the trip out there to visit with her. It does not do her good to be away from family for too long."

It suddenly hit Christine that she did not know what had happened to the Duke's father. She knew he had passed away, but she had not asked the Duke about him, nor had the Duke volunteered any information. She did not want to ask Adeline in case the Duke felt she was going behind his back.

"I could travel there with you if you need the company," Christine suggested. "I did not get to speak with your mother at the wedding, and I would like to know her better."

"You do not wish to stay here with Theodore?" Adeline asked.

"No, of course, I do," Christine blurted. "I am sure he will not notice much if I am gone for a few days though."

Christine stopped when she got to Adeline. The look in the young woman's eyes had changed, and the merriment that had been apparent at a distance had vacated to leave a void of worry.

"I am sure he will notice," Adeline replied. "You have only been married a few days. Oh, it must be a wonderful feeling to be married. I don't mean to pry, but are you settling well here?"

"I am," Christine lied. "And I did not mean anything about His Grace not noticing. I only mean that he is a very busy man, and I am sure he will feel less pressure without having to dote over me and attend to business at the same time. When he has dealt with all of the… business he has to attend to, we shall spend lots of time together."

Am I trying to convince his sister or myself?

"I am so glad," Adeline said. "Perhaps you can travel with me. I would very much like it, but it will depend on how Mother is doing. Sometimes, she can take a turn, and it is better for there to not be too many people around her."

"Of course," Christine replied.

"And my hope is she will return here, so I will not need to go out there. It shall be much easier if that were to happen."

Christine raised her eyebrows. "Why shall it be much easier? You have a look in your eye as if you have been up to something."

"What?" Adeline gasped. "I have not been up to anything." She looked quickly left and right before taking Christine by the arm and guiding her toward an open door.

They entered a small hall reserved for dancing practice. There were mirrors hanging on one wall for a person to view themselves dancing and a small, elevated area on the other side of the hall for musicians.

Adeline dragged Christine across to the window on the far side.

She does not want anyone to hear this except for me.

There was something special about being part of the young woman's life. It was obvious she was not a part of the Duke's life, and it at least gave her a modicum of purpose.

"I have—" Adeline looked around the room. "—found a gentleman that I have taken a liking to."

The emotions fought within Christine. She had an inkling that the secret involved a man, but she did not expect that the young woman had secretly taken a liking to a man. Her chest puffed a little that Adeline had allowed her into the inner circle, even if that inner circle only involved a pair of people. Her heart fluttered with excitement for the young woman, but her shoulders sagged as she thought of her own life.

"You have taken a liking to a man?" Christine asked. "Who is he?"

"I can't tell anyone," Adeline replied. "I want to tell you, of course, but I have been sworn to secrecy. I am not even supposed to tell anyone that I can't tell anyone. You mustn't tell a soul, especially not my brother. He is very protective of me, and he will explode into a fit of rage if he finds out about this."

"Well, you are very young," Christine observed.

"Please, you must promise not to tell him. I will tell him when the time is right, I promise. And I need to know the gentleman truly has feelings for me before we announce it to everyone. I have to be sure."

"You must be sure," Christine agreed. "There are many men out there who are only out for one thing, Adeline. They will say and do everything possible to get you into their bed."

Adeline's eyes widened, and she covered her mouth. She looked around the room again, fully expecting someone to run in and catch her in the act of talking about her secret.

Christine's body did the opposite. Instead of expelling, it contracted. Her eyes narrowed, and her muscles tensed slightly. Her stomach grew smaller, and a dull ache formed at the pit.

She had warned Adeline of what she had warned her sister of, of what Christine's mother had warned her of. The advice had kept Christine safe all these years, yet she wanted nothing more than to be taken into the Duke's bed and pleasured. Even to be held by him would be wonderful. She had protected herself well for years, but now, she was married, and she could not lie with her own husband.

The dull ache in the pit of her stomach was nothing more than rejection.

"I am being careful," Adeline stated with the false confidence of someone so young.

"I am here for you," Christine said. "I understand why you do not want to tell your brother. I believe you should, but if you can't talk to him, then you must talk to me. If you run into any problems or need any advice, you must talk with me."

"I will," Adeline said. "I am thankful you are here."

"I am, too," Christine replied. She needed to grasp onto some gratitude in her life.

"Do not give this man what he wants from you, no matter what he promises you; otherwise, you will end up like…" Christine started.

"Like what?" Adeline asked.

Christine paused for a few seconds. "Otherwise, you will end up losing all control of your life."

Adeline nodded as if she knew exactly what Christine meant.

Otherwise, you will end up like me with no control over your life, waiting awake in your bed, night after night, waiting for a man who will never come. You will be with a man who has gotten what he wants and tossed you aside like a used rag, and you will be unhappy for the rest of your life.