Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

W illiam hated when work forced him from his sanctuary. He would never be able to get used to the stares and looks he received everywhere he went. It was hell.

But it was over.

The relief he felt when the carriage rolled to a stop in front of his home could not be put into to words. It was like he'd been underwater for hours and he could finally breathe.

Then he noticed Mrs. Anderson standing outside, waiting for him and he frowned.

When he got out, she walked up to him.

"Welcome home, your Grace. I hope everything went well."

"It went as well as can be expected. Is there a reason you're greeting me at the door?"

"I just wanted to let you know that it seems Rebecca is settling in well."

"So it's Rebecca now. What happened to Duchess Danton?"

She chuckled. "Yes, I suppose we have started to become rather friendly."

He crossed his arms. "That's good, but I don't see why that warrants you meeting me here."

"I just wanted to give you an update on her."

He studied her. "Sounds more like you wanted to encourage me to go see her."

"I don't know how you could have gotten that impression, but if you are considering it, I doubt it would go amiss."

"You know I have things to do," he huffed, pushing past her and heading inside.

"Of course, your grace," she called after him.

But when he came inside, William faltered. Someone had taken the time to open all of the curtains, the fading evening sunlight filled the space as though it belonged there.

Was this what she meant by changes? William had assumed she would have simply bought new things.

He shook the thought from his head. It didn't matter. As long as it kept her occupied. With that in mind, he started making his way down the hall.

The more he saw, the more confused he got. Then, he heard her voice. He couldn't help but move towards it.

It drew him to the dining room. He didn't hesitate to step inside. Much like the other rooms, it had been cleaned and light had been let in, but that wasn't what caught his eyes.

No those were drawn to the painting on the back wall. His heart pounded in his chest. Why was that here?

He knew he'd locked it away with all the others. His servants should have known better than to touch it. So that could only mean….

His face went pale before turning red. "What did you do?" he snarled.

She chewed her lip, hervoice coming out small. "I- I just did some redecorating. I thought you would be happy."

"Happy? I don't care what you do with the room! Hang whatever drapes you like, but I want you to tell me where you got that!" he pointed to the painting.

"I- I was just going through some of the rooms, and I-"

"Some of the rooms?" he took a step towards her. She staggered back. "That was not just out in one of the rooms for you to stumble across. What were you doing in the attic?"

"I already told you I was just looking around it wasn't locked or anything."

"And you think that just means you can go in there and do whatever you please?"

"I didn't mean to-"

"Do you think I care what you meant to do?"

She flinched back.

"I can't believe this!"

Suddenly, something in her posture shifted. She straightened her back voice coming out strained and tight. "If you are going to do something about it, just do it already and get it over with."

His anger was replaced with confusion. "What do you mean do something?"

"Are you really going to make me say it?" finally, she met his eyes, defiant even as tears threated to roll down her face. "Then fine, I'll say it. If you are going to strike me, just do it and get it over with."

He recoiled, shocked. He staggered back another step. "What kind of person do you think I am? I would never do something like that to a woman!"

Her eyes widen in surprise.

That was when a chilling thought entered his mind. It was out of William's lips before he could even think. "Did your father raise his hand to you?"

She looked away. "My family was very good to me. I am eternally grateful to them." Her voice came out calm and practiced, as if she was reciting lines in someone else's play.

He shook his head. "I'm glad you think that, if you really feel that way, but that doesn't answer my question."

She still refused to meet his eyes. "My father is a good man. Everyone says so."

"Don't care what everyone else says. I want you to know thatif he did hurt you, you didn't deserve it."

Something in her seemed to crumble at his words. "But I must have. If I didn't, then why else would he do it?"

"Oh, Rebecca," William softened. He slowly moved towards her, opening his arms.

Slowly, giving her plenty of time to move away or tell him to stop, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling Rebecca to his chest.

For a moment, she stiffened and he thought she would pull back. Then, she melted, wrapping her arms around him as well. William could feel a wet spot forming on his shirt where her tears fell.

He held her as she cried.

Suddenly, she pulled back, face red and whipping at her eyes. "My apologies. I shouldn't have done all that."

"It is all right, Rebecca," he said, voice far more gentle than he thinks he had ever heard it.

"I fear I may have misjudged you."

William looked away, shaking his head. "It was hardly like I gave you much of a choice."

"Perhaps," Rebecca hesitated. "Perhaps we could start over."

He nodded. "That seems like a good place to start. I think the two of us should go somewhere to talk a bit more." His eyes flickered back to the painting. "Do you mind if we move this to the parlor?"

"If you like," she muttered, still avoiding his eyes.

"Thank you."

They made their way into one of the other rooms and sat on opposite ends of the sofa inside in complete silence.

After a moment, she spoke. "My father had treated me…. Different… from my sister for as long as I can remember. He said it was because our position was different."

"Different how?"

"She's the oldest, she's the prettiest, she's the future of our family. I was… an afterthought at best. Everything I had, clothes, furnishings, even my meals were left over from others."

"What do you mean your meals were left over from others?"

"When the servants finished their dinner, I got what was left."

"That's terrible! I'm so sorry you went through that."

"It could have been worse," she shook her head. "I never went hungry. The servants always made a point to save me something."

"Still, it never should have been something you had to worry about. I hope you don't feel like you need to worry about it here."

"I won't lie, it took me a little while to get used to it, but no. it isn't something I think about now."

"That's good. I never want you to worry about that again."

She hesitated.

"What is it?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"That does seem to be what we're all doing here."

"Why haven't I seen you since our wedding day?"

He let out a long breath. "I suppose that's a fair question. I won't lie, I have been avoiding you. You deserve to be happy, and I don't think I can give that to you. Originally, I thought I never should have asked you to marry me, but seeing where you came from, I can't bring myself to feel that way."

She let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you don't regret asking me to come here. Does that mean that you'll stop avoiding me?"

He hesitated. "That's complicated."

She said nothing, waiting for him to continue and after a moment, he did.

He let out a long breath, "I'm sure you have heard the rumors of what happened to my family."

"I never put much stock into such things."

He shook his head. "Well, prepare to, at least for a time."

"But-"

"Please, we need to talk about them for you to understand."

She hesitated for a moment before nodding.

He let out a sigh before he continued. "Everyone suspects I had something to do with the death of my father and brother, but they often forget how old I was when they were murdered. I was only five, and I almost died in the attack myself. I- while they weren't killed right in front of me, they might as well have been. To this day I can still hear their screams when I close my eyes."

"What happened?" she winced. "I'm sorry. I probably should n't have asked that."

"It's all right. If we are going to talk, you should get to know. I wasn't supposed to be with them, but I had convinced my father to let me got with him and my brother to see to some business. That was when the bandits attacked us. I was the only one who survived."

Her hands flew to her mouth. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea you were so young when you lost them."

"It's in the past now."

She nodded. "Still, it couldn't have been easy."

"It wasn't, but it was far harder on my mother than it ever was on me. Her grief consumed her. After a while, she couldn't handle me leaving the house without her. Of course, it could only be put off for so long before I had to go away for school. Only a few months after I left, she passed away."

"I'm so sorry. No one should have to go through that much loss."

"I am still alive. That's the part I need to focus on. I am the only one left to keep this family going, so I need to keep going for their sake."

"Is that why you wanted to get married? To keep your family name alive?"

"It is. I am sorry to have brought you into my own machinations."

"Don't be. I won't lie, when my father first told me I was to marry you, I had some apprehension, but I was still so glad someone might actually want me in their life instead of just tolerating my presence. You have been far better to me than I could have hoped."

He stared at her in shock. "Do you really mean that? You are happy here?"

"I am, and I think I will only grow more content as time goes on, but if it isn't too much trouble, could I ask a favor of you?"

William studied her for a moment, curiosity peaked. "Ask and I will tell you if I will accommodate it."

"Thank you for hearing me out. I would like to ask if you would have dinner with me occasionally. I understand you must be very busy, but perhaps we could do something once a week if you have time."

He blinked in shock. "Why would you want to have dinner with me?"

She smiled. "That's rather simple to answer, because you are my husband, and I want what I think any bride wants. I want to get to know you. I want us to grow to care for each other."

He blinked in shock. "I don't know that I will be the best company."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that? Besides, I have been told I am subpar company myself, so even if it is true, I'm afraid you still might be the one with a dull conversation partner."

He let out a long breath. "Then I suppose it can not hurt to try, but I have one condition."

"Of course. What is it?"

"I want that painting taken down."

"Of course, she said voice soft. "I think that can be arranged."

"Right," he got to his feet. "I'll see to that, you go dress for dinner."

"You want to start tonight?" she gasped.

"Why not? I haven't eaten yet. Have you?"

"Not yet."

"Then that settles it. I thought you would be happy."

"I am, but there is a slight problem."

"What is it?"

"I'm afraid I don't have anything nicer than this to wear. I'm not sure I own anything nice enough right now."

He frowned. "Your family didn't send over any of your dinner dresses?"

"I never took dinner with them."

"I see. Well, you will just have to get some new gowns. You should go to do some shopping tomorrow."

"I'm really glad to hear that because earlier today my friend Penelope persuaded me to go to the shops and order a few."

"That's good. As a duchess, you should have some nice gowns. As for today, I'm sure what you are wearing is just fine. We can have dinner as we are. Just let me go let the servants know."

She smiled. "All right. That sounds lovely. Thank you."

He nodded. "Very good. I'll be back in just a moment."

When Rebecca had a moment alone, she let out a shaky breath.

The last hour or so had been such a whirlwind she could hardly believe it. After what felt like far too long, they were finally making progress.

Maybe this would be a turning point for them, but still, Rebecca knew better than to get her hopes up too high.

So why was it so hard not to?

A few moments later, he came back in.

"They will have dinner out shortly. Shall we make our way back to the dining room?"

"What about the painting?"

"I've already taken care of it."

"I'm sorry about that again."

"I think it would be best to just move past it. Now, dinner?"

She nodded, following him down the hall. Neither of them said a word as they took their seat at the table and the food was brought out.

"Have your meals been to your taste since coming here?" William asked when the silence had stretched on for far too long.

"Yes, thank you. Everything you have put together for me has been absolutely wonderful!"

"It would be all right if you had any requests thought. In fact, I think you should. Why don't you talk to Mrs. Anderson and put together a menu for dinner in a few days."

"Are you sure I can do something like that?"

"You are the lady of the house. It is well within your rights to set the menu. One could even argue it is your responsibility."

She chewed her lip. "Does that mean I should have been doing that from the beginning?"

"It means if you want to do it, you should feel comfortable to start."

She lit up like he had given her the world. "Then I will speak with Hellen tomorrow."

"Good, that seems like a good start."

Rebecca smiled at him. "How was your day today?" she asked.

"It was fine."

"What all did you get up to? Did you do anything fun?"

"Just work," he sighed. "There isn't much to say."

"Right," she said, falling silent.

He shifted around for a moment before asking, " What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What did you get up to today?"

"My friend Penelope came to visit today, she was the one who encouraged me to take the role of duchess a little bit more seriously."

"Have the two of you known each other long?"

"We have. All but grew up together really. Our homes were right beside each other. We used to slip into the garden and she would sneak over the fence almost every day."

"The two of you must be rather close then?"

"Oh yes, we are. She's probably the person who knows me best in the world."

"That must be nice."

"It is. Do you have someone like that?"

He tilted his head to the side, thinking for a moment. "Yes, I suppose I do."

"Who is it?"

"His name is Patrick, he's my solicitor."

"The one who approached my father."

"The one who told me to consider looking for a wife in the first place."

"Then I suppose I owe him a think you."

"Don't you dare. If he even hears you were considering it, I would never hear the end of it."

She chuckled. "Very well, I will keep my thoughts to myself at least for the moment. How did the two of you meet?"

"Like I said, he was my solicitor."

"True, but he isn't that much older than you, so he couldn't have been with the estate your whole life or anything like that. Did you meet when he inquired about the job?"

"He was studying under the man who came in to help manage the case after my father passed away. In time we became close and when his teacher was ready to retire, I kept Patrick on as my own personal solicitor."

"It looks like it worked out well."

"Perhaps. In the moment I was so stunned he took my silence for a yes."

"But you must have said yes at some point."

"I don't recall, but I suppose I never said no."

"Well, in this scenario it seemed to be virtually the same thing."

"I suppose. Have you met Patrick yet?"

"Briefly, one of the first days I was here, but it was a rather brief interaction. I didn't have time to form much of an impression of him."

"I will have to ask him over one day."

"Then perhaps I should do the same for Penelope?"

He hesitated. "Perhaps."

"Then again, there is no need to rush into anything."

"No, I suppose not. I think it might be best for us to take a few days just to get to know one another."

"I think that sounds lovely."

"Then I will see what I can do about making some time for you. At least a little bit every day."

"Are you sure you have time for that? I would hate to distract you from your work."

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't have time."

"But-"

"Rebecca, why don't you just let me worry about that," then he hesitated. "Unless you don't want to of course. I would understand if it is too much."

She shook her head, a wide grin spreading across her face. "That sounds wonderful, actually. I just didn't think you would be able to make that much time for me."

He looked away. "As I said, why don't you leave that to me to worry about."

"But-"

"Please," he couldn't meet her eyes. "After everything, it is the least I can do."

She looked away, a soft flush coloring her cheeks. "But you must let me thank you."

"What is there to thank me for?"

"Because I never imagined you would go to so much trouble for me."

"It really isn't any trouble."

"Still, it is far more effort than anyone has ever gone to on my behalf, so thank you. It truly does mean quite a lot to me."

"It-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. "I am glad you're happy."

"I truly am."

The rest of the meal was a bit awkward, both of them trapped in their own swirling thoughts too much to say anything.

Rebecca couldn't believe how lucky she was! Perhaps they could grow to care about each other after all.

When the meal ended, they both got to their feet, staring at each other for a moment. Rebecca was the one to move first.

"I hope you won't think I'm being ungrateful, but I'm quite tired. Would you mind terribly if I retired for the night? I am so sorry to cut our evening short."

"If you are tired, then you should go rest. There will be plenty of time for us to see each other tomorrow."

"Thank you, Your Grace."

He hesitated. "Perhaps it would be best if you called me William."

"Only if you call me Rebecca."

"I think that can be arranged." He smiled. "Good night, Rebecca."

"Good night, William, and thank you again for all of this."

Then she slipped from the room.