Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

T he next morning, when Rebecca awoke, her eyes were sore and swollen, but the despair from the night before was gone.

In its place was pure determination.

She got to her feet and dressed, taking more time to ensure she was presentable than she had in the past. Sure, she still doesn't have much in the way of clothing or accessories, but she could still take care ofsetting her hair into a simple but neat bun and smoothing her skirts to be as presentable as possible.

Once she was as happy with her appearance as she was going to get, she headed out into the hall, determined to find Mrs. Anderson. She was going to be the duchess Duke Danton deserved whether they wanted to make it easy on her or not.

She wasn't going to disappoint him.

She wasn't going to go back to her family.

She would find a way to make him happy.

She had to.

Still, Mrs. Anderson seemed rather intent on avoiding her. In the end, Rebecca had to move into the servants quarters to find her.

"What are you doing in here, your Grace?" the woman asked, walking over to her with a frown.

"I need to start learning how to manage the estate."

"But you have only been here so long. You must still be settling in. Besides, your lady's maid still hasn't arrived."

"I am aware of that, but I don't know if that is the benchmark we should be waiting on."

She frowned. "Why ever not? Surely it would be far easier to begin once she arrives."

"Perhaps, if there was one on her way that would be true, but my family won't be sending anyone."

"Then we can begin the process of looking for one for you. Would you like to have one of the household maids help you in the meantime?"

"Thank you, but none of that is necessary. You don't need to go to so much trouble, but I would like to get started."

She stood there, studying her. For a moment, Rebecca thought that she was going to say no, but finally, she let out a long sigh. "You seem rather set on this."

"I am."

She gave a curt nod. "Very well, but please go back up to the parlor. I will meet you there."

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you."

Finally feeling like she had gotten somewhere, Rebecca made her way back upstairs and into the aforementioned parlor. She wasn't kept waiting for long before Mrs. Anderson stepped inside, a thick book clasped under her arm.

"And you are sure you want to start this now, your Grace?" she asked.

"Oh, yes. I can assure you. I am quite sure," Rebecca nodded, not giving herself a moment to hesitate.

"Very well then. Shall we get a seat and get started."

"Oh yes, please. That would be lovely."

The pair did just that. Rebecca did her best to follow along, but there was so much it was hard not to be overwhelmed. Mrs. Anderson frowned, staring at her.

"Do you need to take a break?" she asked.

"No, I'm all right, I promise. Please, continue."

"I don't think it would be wise to overwhelm you."

"But I need to work at this," she said too fast. "I need to be the best duchess possible."

"Why are you so set on this? I do not mind looking after much of the estate. You don't need to push yourself."

"I appreciate that, I really do, but you don't understand. I have to," Rebecca couldn't help the edge of desperation that crept into her voice, mind still locked on her family.

"But why?"

She looked away, eyes burning. "My father has made it clear that I don't have a choice. I can't risk Duke Danton growing disappointed with me either."

The woman softened. "I'm sure you don't need to worry about that. Just do your best, but you don't need to push yourself so hard."

She shook her head. "I do think. If I work hard enough I know I can get it. Please don't give up on me."

"I'm not. Why don't we go for a little bit longer andthen make plans to continue tomorrow ? Would that work for you?"

She lit up. "You really want to continue to work with me?"

"Yes, dear I am the housekeeper. I wouldn't be very good at my job if I wasn't going to help you learn to run the estate.

She lit up. "Thank you so much! I will work hard not to disappoint you."

"I'm sure you will do just fine."

They spent a little longer working then Mrs. Anderson stood with a sigh.

"I think that is enough for the day. You did very well."

"You really think so?"

"I do. Why don't I meet you here tomorrow at the same time as we started today?"

"That sounds perfect. I'll be here."

She nodded andthen made her way from the room.

Rebecca just sat there for a while. She could hardly believe how well that had gone! When she got to her feet, she couldn't stop smiling.

"I wonder if I can find Duke Danton. I would love to tell him about my progress," she said to herself as she made her way upstairs.

But no matter where she went, she couldn't seem to find him. Days went by but she still didn't see him. He wouldn't even take his meals with her.

It was hard not to let it sting.

It was still on her mind when she was working with Mrs. Anderson again almost a week later.

"Is something on your mind?" the older woman asked, startling her. "You seem rather distracted today."

She shook her head. "It's nothing, Mrs. Anderson."

"Are you sure about that? You just seem so distracted today."

She hesitated.

Mrs. Anderson smiled. "Why don't you tell me what's on your mind, and don't say it's nothing. Whatever it is is enough to distract you so it must be important."

She looked away. "It doesn't matter."

"If it is on your mind, I doubt that's true,"

She looked away. "It isn't anything important. I know he's busy, but I had thought Duke Danton would have had at least a little time for me. We haven't even had a meal together since my first night here?"

"He hasn't seen you at all?"

She shook her head. "I understand he's busy. I don't hold it against him, but I can't help but be disappointed."

"I'm glad you can be understanding," she said, almost stunned. "But there is nothing wrong with being disappointed."

She shook her head. "I can get over it. There is no reason to let it distract me."

Hellen studied her for a moment. "If you are sure you want to drop it for now, I won't push it, but I am here if you want to talk."

"Thank you, but I would rather just try to focus on our work for the moment."

"I think I can do that."

They tried to get through some more work on the estate, but no matter how hard she tried, Rebecca just couldn't seem to focus.

Her mind just kept drifting to Duke Danton. He was nothing like she had expected, and if she was honest with herself, she had to admit, he was rather attractive, especially his eyes. No matter what anyone said, and as sharp as they could be sometime, when Rebecca looked into his eyes, she knew he was a kind person.

It was because of his kindness that she needed to get this right for him. She needed to be the kind of wife, the kind of duchess he could be proud to have by his side.

Hellen sat back with a sigh. "I think we have done about as much as we can for today."

Rebecca's face fell. "Oh, I see. I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "It's nothing like that. You just seem like you could use a break."

"I can keep working, honestly."

"Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I won't hold it against you if you need some time. It seems like you have a lot on your mind."

"Still, I need to improve. I don't have time to take off."

"I can assure you, you do. You're doing fine, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself. As for the Duke, try not to worry too much. I'm sure these things just take time."

"But there needs to be something I can do in the meantime. I can't just sit around and wait."

"I'm not saying to do nothing, but I don't think this is the kind of thing you can do anything about. For now, just focus on getting more comfortable managing the estate. The rest will follow."

"But you said I should take a break."

"For today, but in general, I would advise against focusing on Duke Danton too much. Perhaps there is a friend you could invite for a visit? Take your mind off of things."

"Do you think he would mind if I did that?"

"I can't imagine he would," she said, squeezing her hand. "Why don't you give me her address, I can send over an invitation for a visit?"

"Thank you!" Rebecca wrote the address down.

"How soon should I tell her she can come?"

"As soon as she would like! I would be delighted to see her."

And so, the very next day, Rebecca raced to her parlor to see Penelope waiting for her. When she saw her, Penelope lit up, pulling her in for a tight embrace.

"I have missed you!"

Rebecca laughed. "It has only been a few weeks."

"And that is far longer than we have gone without seeing each other since we were children, but now that you are receiving visitors, I shall have to call on you more often."

"I'm sure your family would prefer you to remain home so gentlemen could call on you."

Penelope scowled. "And I simply can not abide the notion! Spinsterhood can not come soon enough! You have no idea the indignities I must suffer."

"So you have said," she chuckled, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, but I haven't even asked about you yet. I have been so worried. How have you been?"

"I have been all right."

"All right? Surely you have more to say than that. How do you like your new home? How do you like your new husband?"

Rebecca looked away. "I like it all well enough. The estate is lovely, but I haven't seen much of my husband."

"Why not? Is he terribly busy ?"

"He must be. I haven't seen him since the day of our wedding. We had dinner together then he went into his study and that was that."

Penelope laughed. "You lucky duck you."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because, it means you have all the freedom of being married, being out from your family's house, and having a home of your own to run with none of the drawbacks, having a husband breathing down your neck. You are free to do as you please."

"But what if he decides he isn't happy with how I run things?"

"I doubt you will do anything that could displease him there. Just do what would make you happy. You are a duchess now. Embrace it, andbe happy. He will follow or he will leave you to your own devices. Either way, there is no reason you can live your life in a way that makes you happy now."

Rebecca sat stunned. "I shall think about that."

"I sincerely hope you do."

"But enough about me. How have you been? How were the balls? You must tell me about them."

"Must I?" she sighed. "There is nothing new there, I can assure you. I am forced to put on a gown of my mother's choosing, I am told to dance with men who only wish to speak of trivial things until I am blessedly allowed to return home."

"You make it sound like you are being tortured."

"Because I am. It is misery. I do not wish to speak of it. Please, tell me what you have done with your wardrobe since becoming a duchess. How many new gowns do you have?"

Rebecca shrugged. "I haven't gotten any new ones. The ones I brought from home seemed perfectly serviceable."

"I would hardly have called them such when you were living at home. And now that you're a duchess? I must grimace at the very thought."

"Well, what would you have me do?"

"I should think the answer would be that it is rather obvious. I would propose we take today and go out on a little excursion."

"Penelope! I can hardly just go shopping."

Why not?"

"It isn't my money for one."

"Yes, it is. You are the Duchess of Danton. You have seen the books. You can't tell me you don't have discretionary funds in it."

"I do, but-"

"Then what is the harm? Come now. You know you want to. What is the harm, really?"

"Well, I…" she trailed off.

" Please, just for a bit. I promise that if you aren't having a good time we can come straight back."

"Oh, very well. I suppose there isn't any real harm in it."

She lit up. "Oh, wonderful! Do you want to go get the carriage or shall we take mine?"

"I suppose it doesn't make a difference."

And so, only a short time later, Rebecca found herself somewhere she had never been before.

The dressmaker.

She is in awe of the experience, it is almost overwhelming. In the end, she only gets two dresses. As she pays, she can hardly believe she indulged in such a luxury.

Once they returned to her new home, she said a pleasant goodbye to Penelope and headed inside.

The second she was through the door, she raced off to find Mrs. Anderson. She wasn't hard to find, walking down the hall as she checked on the other maid.

"Hellen," Rebecca lit up. "I need your help with a few things."

"Well, I am glad to see you in such a pleasant mood. Did visiting with your friend help?"

"It did. Thank you so much for suggesting."

"I'm glad. Can I ask what she suggested?"

"She said I should just focus on making the estate into some place I can be happy to call my home."

"I think that sounds like a great start. What can I do to help?"

She took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. "I want to do a bit of redecorating. I was hoping you could show me through some of the rooms you thought might be a good place to start and take some notes for me. I understand if you don't have time."

"If you want to do all that, it might be time to find you a lady's maid, but I would be happy to help you for a bit today."

"Oh, thank you. Please let me know if I am taking too much of your time."

"I will. Now, why don't we start with your parlor."

The pair spent a few hours going through a few rooms. They didn't make any major changes. Rebecca was hesitant to do anything that required purchasing new furnishings or drapes.

But after a while, Mrs. Anderson glanced at her watch and let out a small. "Goodness! I hadn't realized the time. I need to get back to the others."

"Oh! I hope I didn't keep you too long."

"No, nothing like that, but I do need to get back."

"Of course. Thank you so much for what you've done."

"I will come see you again tomorrow. We can see what else we can get done."

"I appreciate that. Thank you."

Mrs. Anderson gave her a last look andthen headed off down the hall. For a moment, Rebecca hesitated.

Perhaps she should stop now that she is alone. It might not be the best idea to make any changes without Mrs. Anderson here to supervise, but if she was supposed to be the duchess, then shouldn't she make more of an effort?

Right, she thought to herself. That settles it then. If this is supposed to be my home, then I shouldn't feel strange doing a little bit of work on my own."

Then she squared her shoulders and made her way back into the hall. She didn't make many changes on her own, mostly just opening curtains, doing some dusting, and trying to make the space feel lived in.

Then she came to a door she hadn't seen before.

It was small, andnondescript. She tilted her head to the side before carefully pulling it open. On the other side was a narrow, steep staircase. Intrigued, she made her way up the stairs. Each one creaked loudly under her feet.

Her heart pounded in her throat. She didn't know why but it made her nervous.

When she got to the top, she frowned. It was an attic, much like the one that had once served as her bedroom. In many ways, this one also almost looked like someone's room. It was positively packed with furniture and other forgotten items. Then, something in the back caught her eye.

There, lining the back wall were several paintings. Most of them looked like they contained the same five or six people. One of them in particular caught her attention.

It was smaller than the other, more interment. There was a mother, a father, and two sons. Unlike the others that looked like they were carefully organized and formal, this one showed them all seated in a garden in what looked like their everyday clothes. Looking at the picture, she can't help but smile.

Rebeccas wasn't sure what came over her, but she picked it up and made her way back down the stairs.