Chapter 22
Rhys
The scent of blood filled the air and the crack of bones and a maniacal laughter followed after, jolting me from my sleep. I woke up drenched in sweat, my heart pounding like a trapped animal and my senses reeling from the horrors I had just witnessed in my sleep.
Ever since the official start of my relationship with Elara a few weeks ago, the world seemed to be painted in hues of tranquility. Elara, with her infectious laughter and bubbly personality had quickly brought warmth and color into my life, and she had succeeded in seeping into the cracks of the solitary existence which I had fought to maintain since my escape from Silas.
I had never thought myself to be fit enough for a relationship of any sort, but being with my mate brought this sense of safety and solace that was unlike anything I had ever known. Her presence was like sunlight piercing through dense fog, illuminating corners of my soul I thought would forever remain shrouded in shadows. But beneath the surface of this newfound peace, a tempest had begun brewing. A darkness that I had struggled to bury deep was slowly resurfacing, threatening to consume me whole.
My nightmares, which had once been infrequent and distant, had morphed into something more vivid and haunting. Every time that I closed my eyes, these images tormented me, and the worst part was, it wasn't just a figment of my imagination forcing me to relive my horrors anymore. They felt tangible, suffocating, and all too real. They were almost driving me to the edge of madness.
The nightmares were bad enough, but the flashbacks were worse. They came unbidden, triggered by the slightest thing—a sharp noise, a sudden movement, even the warmth of Elara's touch. It was almost as if the amplified emotions and the deepening bond with Elara were like a kindling to a fire, igniting the dormant demons within me. They were like acid burns on my mind, searing through my defenses and leaving me gasping for breath.
And so, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I avoided her, not wanting to expose her to this darkness that was threatening to overtake me. But the more I avoided her, the more the nightmares intensified, feeding on my isolation. The guilt gnawed at me. I was hurting her, pushing her away, when all she wanted was to be close, but I was afraid that this darkness would cast a shadow over our growing bond.
A knocking came on my door, pulling me out of my reverie, and before I could respond, it was pushed open to reveal Elara. The sight of her had my heart skipping a beat. I still couldn't understand how she managed to look so beautiful every second of the day without a break. She was always such a pleasing sight, and her presence always seemed to come along with a sort of peace. She had a tray full of food balanced in her hands, and I moved quickly out of the bed to help her with it.
"Thank you," she said, offering me a smile that made my inside sing with happiness. "I know you haven't been feeling too well lately…" she started, and I felt guilt pool in my stomach at her words, knowing that it was all a lie to avoid her.
"So, I thought of making something special for you. Well, Rose cooked it, but I helped," she finished, giggling as she spoke, and I couldn't help the smile that painted my lips at the sight of her being so carefree.
"It looks really good," I commented, watching as she began serving some of the food onto a plate for me. She did the same for herself, and soon we settled down to eat in silence.
The food tasted heavenly, and the plates were quickly emptied. Elara gave me seconds, but even that was gone in no time. Once we were finished eating and the dishes were put aside, Elara cuddled up beside me so we could watch a movie. There was something about having her this close that caused an itch to form in my mind, one that was very difficult to ignore. This was the way it had been for weeks now, and it was starting to drive me crazy trying to figure out what could be causing this trigger.
"Rhys? Are you okay?" Elara's voice cut through the fog that was threatening to overtake me, and I blinked rapidly, shaking my head slightly to clear it.
"Of course. Why do you ask?" The fake smile that I forced across my lips felt painful to me, and I could see the disapproval in my mate's eyes. She took my hands in hers before speaking.
"Don't lie to me, Rhys. I've watched you for the last couple of weeks and something has just changed. There's this sadness and fear in your eyes, and it makes me sad that you could be going through something that you've refused to share with me. There's nothing I want more in this world than to see you happy, and it hurts me to know that you could be going through something and you're keeping it away from me. I just want to help you. Please talk to me. Whatever this is, we can face it together," Elara said softly, and her words immediately broke me.
Her hand tightened on mine, and I closed my eyes, summoning the courage to confront my demons.
"I wasn't always a member of this pack. I was raised in a different world and known for a different purpose. I was raised in a world of violence and cruelty, much more than you could imagine. I was raised in a world where power was everything, and empathy was a weakness."
I could sense Elara tense beside me, but she didn't interrupt, and so I continued.
"The man who raised me, he groomed me to be his successor, a ruthless leader who would strike fear in the hearts of our enemies. I was trained in combat and the very art of destruction. I was supposed to be a monster, a cold-blooded killer. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't become the person that he wanted me to be." I raised my eyes to meet Elara's, and to my surprise she had a tear running down her cheek, which I quickly reached out a finger to catch.
"I escaped eventually and left everything behind. Luckily, I met Kai, who was at the time struggling to bring order to this chaotic pack, and it seemed like my life had taken a turn for the better from that moment. But the darkness is still there. It never really left, but for some reason, it just feels like it's back with a much stronger force than it has had over me since my escape. Every day I live with the fear that this darkness might take over me. And now I'm just afraid of what I might become. That this past that I've fought so hard to forget will haunt and expose me."
I finished, and Elara immediately pulled me into a hug. I buried my face against her neck, taking in her sweet scent that was enough to immediately make me calm.
"You're not defined by your past, Rhys. You are a kind, compassionate, and strong man who has captured my heart. Whatever this is, we'll get through it together."
Her words were like a balm to my wounded soul. For the first time in what felt like forever, I didn't feel completely alone.
Elara and I remained locked together for a long time afterward and when she pulled away, there were no more tears in her eyes, just a compassion that made me feel warm.
"You don't have to keep carrying this burden like a weight, Rhys. You know that if you were to tell Rowan and Kai about this, they wouldn't judge you. I've seen the way you've been avoiding all three of us lately, and now I understand why, but it doesn't always have to be that way," she said, but I shook my head quickly.
"It's different. I don't think they would see me the same way if I ever told them," I responded and Elara looked like she was about to say something else, but I took her hands into mine once more.
She had a look in her eyes that caught my attention, and I reached out a finger to raise her chin so I could look into her eyes.
"Are you all right?" I asked, and I watched as she swallowed.
"I'm also afraid you might see me differently if I told you this," she began, and although I could guess where she was going with this, I simply shook my head, pulling her closer to me in encouragement.
"I could never see you for anything less than the amazing person that you are," I reassured her, and she searched my eyes as I spoke. Whatever she saw there seemed to satisfy her because she looked away.
"You're not the only one who has suffered the cruelty of Silas," she finally said the words that I had suspected from the moment I had caught her scent. "I was also a victim of his maniac ways and…" the rest of the words got caught in her throat, and she choked on a sob, pushing me to pull her completely into my lap and wrap my arms tightly around her.
"I can still hear the screams of his victims when I close my eyes, and I shudder whenever I think of my role in their suffering. I know that I will never use my Siren powers again, but sometimes I fear to think about what would happen if I fell into the hands of another person who would control me and make me use them again," she finished, and I rubbed slow circles along her back.
"It's never going to happen again. I promise." I would die before I let Silas get to her again.
"Have you told Kai or Rowan about this?" I asked, and she shook her head.
"I have told Rowan, not exactly willingly, but it was a relief to do so. He also approached me about it. I'm not so sure about telling Kai, though, I don't know what his reaction will be and I'm scared to even try," she confessed.
"Let's just take it slow," I said, and she nodded in understanding, accepting the kiss that I gave her.
"Do you want to take a walk with me? It might help clear your mind," she offered, and I accepted, moving us both out of the bed so I could change my clothes.
Once I was done, we made our way out of the house, hand in hand. It had been very difficult for me to concentrate on doing any work during the day, and so I had come back home to take a nap. My work had suffered over the last couple of days, and I knew that I had to get back on top of things as soon as possible before Kai got wind of it, but for now, I was content to simply be with Elara.
We went for a walk in the woods, the setting sunlight filtering through the trees, casting dappled patterns on the forest floor as we walked in silence. The scent of pine needles and damp earth filled my senses, grounding me in the present moment.
But then, I felt a shift in the air, a subtle change in the scent of the forest. There was something else here, something foreign and unfamiliar. I stopped, sniffing the air, trying to pinpoint the source of the scent. It was a sharp odor that cut through the tranquility of the woods, and I moved in its direction with Elara in tow, trying to put a finger on the exact scent.
And suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
It was the scent of another Omega.