23. Manny

23

MANNY

I’m surprised when Bandit steps into the kitchen. It’s been six days and it’s felt like the longest in my life.

At first, I wanted to be mad. We all know Bandit has a huge chip on his shoulder. However, now that I’ve gotten to know him a little better, I know that most of that is just bravado and a whole lotta pain. He has a right to how he feels, and like we said the night we spent together last; it’s a safe space and I need him to know that.

I’ve been there. I had nobody to tell me it was going to be okay, that all the feelings I had were not only completely normal, but valid. I had nobody, except Shep, but even that took me being beaten up before he really took me under his wing.

Having him come and celebrate with us the night I got patched in was selfless. He’s so busy, but he always finds time to fit me in. Seeing his proud face had me tearing up. I may not be the big hot shot that he is, but I’m finally free to be me. And that’s what matters.

“Hey,” his voice is low.

“Hi.” I swear, he’s the only person on the planet that can render me speechless. For one, he smells fucking amazing. It’s clear he’s just freshly showered by the dampness of his hair. His shirt looks fresh and it clings to his body. He’s wearing his cut, of course, and his usual jeans and boots, but the look on his face? I can’t work out if he’s more sheepish or nonchalant.

“You been hiding out?” I can’t help adding.

He rubs his chin. “I’ve just been busy, the garage has been nuts this week. I’ve been doin’ overtime.”

“Uh, huh.” I turn my back on him, putting a stack of bowls and plates in the dishwasher. “Lace thinks you’re avoiding us.”

“It’s a lot,” he admits.

I turn. “If you’re thinkin’ about breakin’ up with her, then do it now before she gets in too deep.” I point at him. “I care about her, Bandit. I don’t want to see her hurt because you can’t make your mind up if you want a meaningful connection or not. I get you wanting to explore your feelings, but I’m not sure that Lace is the right experiment.”

“Is that what you really think? I’m experimenting with her?”

“With us,” I say. “You know she has a big heart, that she cares about both of us, and she’s admitted to having feelings.”

“I didn’t expect this.” He palms the back of his neck. “I didn’t expect feelings.”

I cock a brow. “Really? You admitted there was chemistry with all of us.”

He lowers his voice. “And there is, but this is new for me, Manny. You gotta understand that I’ve got a son to think of.”

My face softens. His son is the apple of his eye and it’s another thing I respect about him, especially after hearing his story. “I get it, which is why I told Lace you just need time, but like I said, she’s already growing feelings.”

“And I’m not?”

I don’t want to start a fight, but seeing Lace earlier had me reeling. She was clearly upset about something, and this can’t be helping. “I don’t know, and I wouldn’t give a shit if you were just playin’ around, but with Lace, it’s different.”

He steps toward me. “And it’s okay to mess with your heart?”

I swallow hard, meeting his intense gaze. “Didn’t say that, but I’ve been around the block a time or two. I don’t think I’m even capable of…”

“Of what?”

I swallow hard. I shrug. It’s always an easy way to avoid talking, not that I’m very good at keeping my big ol’ mouth shut, apparently.

“Of a relationship… of falling in love… but this feels different.”

“Because it is different, Emmanuel.” God, I love it when he calls me that. “But maybe we’re confusing how good all of this is with too many feelings. We barely know one another. Let’s just take a step back.”

“I see. Run away the second it starts to get heavy.” I shake my head. “Typical.”

“I thought of all people you would understand.” Bandit balks. “I thought you’d be the first one to be on my side.”

I frown. “I am on your side! I’m over here rootin’ for you like I’m a goddamn cheerleader, and you know why that is, Jonah? Because I give a shit. I care, and I think you do, too. If this is just fucking, then you can walk away anytime, no hard feelings, right?”

He jabs me in the chest. “I don’t wanna do that.”

“Right, and you don’t want either of us with anyone else, so it kinda sounds like you’re getting the best of both worlds. Zero commitment and maximum enjoyment.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Really? Then why is Lace walking around with a frown all over her pretty face? The one thing I told myself when I escaped from my hometown is I’d never ever make anyone feel like shit. I’d always be grateful, kind, no matter what I was going through. I’d try to be compassionate even if I felt I wasn’t in the wrong, and to see her walking around like the world is on her shoulders.” I shake my head. It’s not right.

“So that’s my fault?” He jabs himself in the chest. Goddamn heathen. “I thought we were gettin’ to know each other, havin’ some fun. Since when did this become about commitment and fallin’ in love just because we fucked a couple of times?” He waves his fingers around. “You don’t even know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Really? How would you know? You can’t even express how you feel about bein’ with another man, let alone think about actually bein’ the kind of man Lace needs.”

“Lower your voice.”

“There’s no one here, and in any case, I don’t give a shit. It’s my kitchen, I can say what I want.”

He steps closer, closing the gap. “I know because I was in love once.” His eyes are fierce, but I see the warning there; stop pushing. “I opened my heart and soul and look where that got me.”

“You tried for something. That’s all that means.”

“Says you who wouldn’t know what it feels like to have the love of your life ripped away from you, to live with that guilt for the rest of your life.”

My mouth opens and closes. He has me there. “You’re right, I’ve never experienced that feeling before, or thought that I was even capable of falling in love like that,” I admit. “Until recently, and I don’t give a shit how heavy that sounds, life’s too short to go around not saying what you really think. I’ve been doing that for a really long time and it’s fucking boring.”

“You done?”

“No.”

“You think Lace is upset because I’ve needed time to process things?”

I fold my arms over my chest. “If there’s no feelings and this is ‘just having fun,’ then what’s to process?”

“I didn’t mean it like that. Will you give me a fuckin’ break?”

“If you don’t have me to bust your balls, I think you’d be sorely disappointed, and you’d get away with hiding out for the rest of your life.”

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

His words make my breath hitch. “Don’t change the subject, and I could say the same about you, but then I’d be confusing sex with actual feelings, right?”

“You just gotta keep pushin’ me, don’t you?”

I stand my ground. “I fight for the things I believe in. I don’t let anyone I care about feel as if they don’t know where they stand with me. It’s how I am. I can’t help it.”

He’s so fucking close.

He grips my chin, and I flinch for a second. “I would never hurt you.”

“Not physically, Jonah, I believe that, but emotionally? Emotionally, you have the ability to destroy me. I can’t speak for Lace, but?—”

“Why would I have the ability to destroy you?” His words are low, his lips close to mine.

“Because I’ve found something that feels pretty close to fucking perfect and I don’t want to lose it.”

He stares at me, those green eyes like sparkling emeralds. “Who says you’re gonna lose it?”

“You did. I know this is scary?—”

“I thought it was,” he says. “But I’ve realized that you’re right; if I can’t be myself now, then when will I ever be? If I can’t allow my own thoughts and feelings to manifest, then what use am I to anyone?”

“Are you saying you’re useless?”

“Very funny.”

His lips part momentarily, then he moves slowly and presses them to mine. It’s soft, not demanding like all the other times when he’s shoved his tongue into my mouth. This feels intimate. I run a hand up his muscled torso, causing him to groan, and when my ass hits the back of the countertop, I put the brakes on. “Anyone could walk in.” We kiss again.

“You said nobody was here.”

His hard dick presses against mine, and I see stars. I want him so much. “They’re not, but that doesn’t mean?—”

“Relax, not gonna fuck you here, though I’ll bet you’ve thought about it.”

“I admit, I was jealous when I heard that you’d fucked Lace over Jas’s desk.”

“She told you about that, huh?”

I roll my eyes. “Of course she did. She tells me everything.”

His mouth moves down to my pulse point. He nips my neck, cursing quietly as we rub against one another. “You smell so good.”

“I smell like beef bourguignon.”

“Exactly.” He presses his forehead against mine, slowing everything down. I know if we keep going like this, shit’s gonna go down. I don’t want our first time to be rushed, nor do I want someone walking in on us. That might be a little hard to explain to Cash. “What the fuck are we gonna do?”

“Take one day at a time, but don’t run away,” I say.

“This would be so much easier if feelin’s weren’t involved.”

“Nah, that would be completely boring,” I sigh.

He pulls back when we hear noise from outside. We step away from one another and we both adjust ourselves. “I like you, Manny. The rest I gotta figure out, alright? I’m not tryin’ to be a dick, I’m tryin’ to figure out how this all works. I want Lace, too.”

“Like I said, don’t overthink it. Being honest as well as respectful is the only way nobody is going to get hurt. Namely Lace.”

“She’s in love with us.” His words float around me and I stop in my tracks. Turning to him, I shake my head.

“No.”

“Yes. Which is why I wanted time to work out how I felt and if I don’t feel the same way, then I need to walk away so she doesn’t get hurt.”

I gape at him. “Wait, did she say something?”

He raises one eyebrow. “And they say you’re the perceptive one?”

I scratch my chin. “Huh. Well, I guess I just thought she was really into us. Wait, isn’t that a little conceited?—”

He presses a finger to my mouth. “Don’t ruin it with that big mouth.”

The voices get closer, and I move behind the countertop, away from Bandit. The closer I am to him, the more I feel I may just do something I’ll regret because little does he know, sex really is a weapon and I’m not immune to it.

Both of our phones ring at the same time and as I reach for mine, Jonah says, “It’s Pipes. Hello?”

I look down at my phone and alarm bells ring when I see I’ve missed several calls from Lace. Audrina’s calling me. “Audrina?” I’m practically panting. “Is everything?—”

“It’s Lace,” she blurts.

My eyes turn and meet Bandit’s as we both speak in tandem. “We’re on our way.”

Lace

I stare at the man in front of me, and my heart skips a beat. He’s always been extremely handsome, like, ridiculously. His dark, slicked back hair and perfectly chiseled face; it’s smooth and his dimples sing a different tune to the man I know to be ruthless. His eyes are deep blue, eerily so, and one would be forgiven for thinking that’s a genuine smile. It isn’t.

There is only one reason why Mateo Judice is here, and that reason is about to bolt out the doors.

“Don’t cause a scene,” he tells me in a low voice. “I’m not here to hurt you.”

My mouth opens, then closes again. “Okay.”

“I’m going to go sit at the table, and you’re going to bring me a coffee, then we’ll chat for a moment.”

I nod.

“If you talk to your colleague or raise the alarm, I’ll make sure that your pretty little friend doesn’t see her next birthday.”

I swallow hard. “I won’t say anything.”

He smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Good girl. A double espresso.” He slides a twenty over the counter at me and walks toward the table closest to the door.

Panic hits me, then I remember there’s a prospect outside. I mean, I didn’t see any today, but I know Bandit was assigned to watch me, and when he isn’t around, one of the prospects takes over. So they’ll know, right? Or maybe they’ll think I’m just serving a customer… I mean, I am just serving a customer. Shit. The prospect won’t know I’m in trouble.

I make his coffee silently, not even contemplating running. I don’t want anyone dying on my watch just because I couldn’t follow instructions. And if he’d have wanted me dead, he’d have pulled the trigger by now, or kidnapped me, not sit down in the middle of the coffee shop like he has all the time in the world.

Louisa ducks out into the kitchen and I hurry it up so I can get his coffee out; hopefully he’ll choke on it. I put the little cup on the saucer, and wishing I had some cyanide on hand, I walk his coffee over to his table.

“Why are you here?” I ask boldly, putting his cup down on the table in front of him.

“Is that a nice way to greet your old boss?”

I roll my eyes. “Let’s just cut to the chase; what do you want?”

He reaches for his cup, blows on the caramelized liquid and then takes a leisurely sip. “Mmm, I see your barista skills are as good as your accounting skills.”

“Mr. Judice, please…”

“Mateo,” he corrects. “Won’t you take a seat?”

I glance around. “I really shouldn’t, my boss won’t be happy.”

“Just for a second, please.” He spreads his arm toward the booth seat opposite him.

I wince. I don’t want to do anything he says, but I’m afraid he will shoot Louisa in the head and I’ll be responsible. “If another customer comes in, I’ll have to get up.”

He does that crooked, heart-thumping smile again. I can see why they call him the Casanova of Arizona. He has class and manners, even if he is an evil, corrupt son of a bitch. “Always so conscientious.”

“Did you come all the way here to tell me that? You could’ve just emailed.”

“You always did have a smart mouth, though. It often strikes me as odd that the people who I treated the most fairly are always the ones to betray me.”

I stifle a laugh. “The last time I checked, I’m allowed to leave. You might own most of the souls in the casino, Mr. Judice, but you don’t own mine and you never will.”

He leans toward me and I automatically lean back. “Just tell me what you did with the money.”

I frown. “What money?”

His eyebrows knit together. “Don’t play coy with me, little girl. I don’t play games.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say. “I didn’t do anything with any money. Your brother kept asking me to do underhanded things, and he pushed one button too many and when I refused to be involved in embezzling money, he threatened me. I got scared.”

“So that’s why you ran?”

“I didn’t run.” Okay, that may be a bit of a lie. But they’re the mob, why wouldn’t I run? “I just wanted out, and I didn’t exactly want to be carted out in a body bag, or be buried out in the desert.”

His lips twitch as if he’s fighting a smile. “You think I’d do that to you?”

I level him with my gaze. “I know you would.”

He chuckles. “I only do that to people I don’t like. That doesn’t include you, or it didn’t until my money went missing.”

“I didn’t take any money.”

“That’s not what my brother told me.”

“Well, he’s a liar.”

“He’s also dead.”

I sputter. “What? He’s… dead? Who killed him?”

This time he flashes me his teeth. “We never did see eye to eye.”

My stomach clenches and my heart thumps so hard in my chest, I’m pretty sure you’d be able to hear it all the way in Arizona. “You killed your own brother?” My voice is low, barely a whisper.

“Our mom was a whore, so he wasn’t my real brother or a Judice. Plus, he thought he was smarter than me. I gave him too much leeway. I should never have given him the casino to manage.” He dusts off his hands, like he’s just put out the trash. “But that’s on his head.”

My hands begin to shake and I consider sitting on them. I glance around, but nobody is paying us any attention. “So you’re here to what? Kill me, too? For the record, your brother?—”

He holds up a finger. “Half brother.”

“He was an asshole.”

“He was, that’s why I read him his last rites. It was pretty poetic of me, considering I usually just behead people I don’t like.”

I gasp. “I swear on my mother’s grave I didn’t do anything.”

His playful tone vanishes. “And if you didn’t, then I need to know who did.”

“I’m not lying,” I whisper. “I may be a very good accountant, but I’m not that good that I’d get away with stealing money from the mob.”

He does that lip twitch thing again, then he starts to clap. “Well done. You finally had the guts to say it.”

I’m about to just take my chances and run when I glance up. Hustler is suddenly standing at the table, looming over us. He seems larger than life and I’ve never been so grateful to see a member of the MC. I want to cling to him and hide behind his back.

“Lace, are you okay?” His gaze flicks to mine. I don’t know what he sees there, but his jaw tightens and he reaches his hand toward me. I take it and slide out of the booth.

“We’re not done here,” Mateo growls, looking up at Hustler. The two goons are at the table behind Hustler in a second.

“Yeah, we are. Lace.” Hustler pulls me behind him and then shoves me toward the counter, away from them. He turns back to face the mafia don and his two hitmen. “If you have a problem with one of my staff, then you have a problem with me.”

Mateo stands, but I watch in alarm as Hustler shoves him back into the seat. Before I can blink, he swings at one of the henchmen and he goes down. Holy fucking shit! Go Hustler!

The man is mid-fifties, but he’s fighting like a street fighter. I had no clue that he could swing that fast and that hard. A new wave of respect washes over me.

The other man reaches into his jacket and I run toward Hustler. “No!” I cry out. “Stop! There are patrons!”

The few people in the cafe start to turn and a few begin to scurry out of the cafe. Pipes runs in with Giggs on his tail.

“Get back behind the counter!” Hustler grits his teeth when I stand in front of him.

“No, Hustler, this is my mess and I’m going to get out of it myself.”

“Like hell you are!” Hustler is so fucking mad.

“Hustler?” Pipes assesses the situation and the henchman who didn’t get hit stops when Mateo tells him to take it easy.

“These men were just seein’ themselves out,” he says.

Mateo smirks. “Brave man, but you have no clue who you’re dealing with.”

“He’s right,” I stammer. “You don’t. He’s the head of the Judice crime family in Arizona.”

Hustler’s face doesn’t change. “Did he hurt you?”

I shake my head. “I’m fine.”

“I think we can take this somewhere more private,” Mateo says. “Since I’m sure the rest of the MC are on their way, and for the record, if I wanted a war, I would’ve brought more men.”

I stare at him and I hope like hell Hustler doesn’t take a swing. That’s all we goddamn need.