Chapter 21

Iwasn't supposed to hear that, obviously, by the look of panic on Noah's face.

I knew things were going too well between us. It's been…perfect. Magical. I've been subconsciously on edge waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And there it is.

He wants to pull away. Tired of me already.

Taryn's words seep into my brain, digging their jagged edges into every crevice.

And he's keeping something else from me? Sneaking behind my back? I have no idea what Wood meant. Like Noah said, we spend all our time together.

I can't make sense of it.

Noah's chair skids across the floor as he stands. "I thought you were in the shower."

"I decided to skip it and just put my hair up since I'm already running late."

He stutters, flustered. "Liv, that wasn't what it sounded like. Let me explain."

I shift on my feet. "Okay. Explain."

Wood shuffles out of the kitchen, eyes averted, then slips away.

Noah is still standing there at the table, mouth open, not saying anything. "Shit," he finally exhales.

"So, it was what it sounded like?" I turn toward the door.

"I guess it was, partly, but it came out worse than I meant it. And the secret thing I can explain, just not yet?—"

He steps toward me, but I hold up my hand. "No, you're right. We do spend all our time together. It's a lot. I get it."

"Liv—"

"I don't have time right now. I have to go. We can talk about this later. Hopefully we'll find our new apartment today, and then I can be out of your hair altogether. I'll see you later." I hurry to the door.

He follows me out into the hall. "Livvy, wait. You're upset, don't leave like this."

"I really do have to leave. I'm already late to meet Bex and Macy," I say, stepping into the elevator.

"Please." He stands there, as the elevator doors close, the sharp angles of his face softening, his expression melting like hot candle wax.

The elevator goes down. Down. My phone pings and I glance at it. A text from Noah, saying sorry and he wants to talk.

But I don't know what to say to him right now. What can I say? He said he doesn't want me there with him. He's happy I'm moving out. He wants space, to take a step back from us, and to do whatever else it is he's been apparently doing behind my back.

My stomach rolls.

I'm still standing, staring at the phone in my hand when the elevator dings and the doors open on the ground floor.

I silence it and drop it in my bag. I'll talk to him later, when I've calmed down. I just need a little time. And I really am already late.

"Bex, your sister's here! Come on, we're late," Macy shouts as she opens the door. She turns back to me smiling, though her hair is frazzled, brown eyes are wide, silently pleading for help. "We're supposed to be at the first showing in"—she looks at her phone—"twenty minutes." She lets out a high-pitched little laugh.

"Hey." I smile nervously as she ushers me in. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay, Bex is still in the bathroom. I don't even know if she's dressed." Macy throws up her hands and heads for the bathroom.

I sit on the couch, looking around Spencer's apartment. It's a white couch. White walls. Glass kitchen table and hard, black chairs. There are a few framed pieces of art on the walls—mostly of sailboats. His family is, apparently, really into sailing—in an attempt to personalize the space, but it all feels very clinical. I guess that's fitting for a surgeon.

Macy knocks on the bathroom door, and Bex calls back that she'll be out in a minute.

Light catches my eye. Bex's phone screen lights up on the floor, half hidden under the corner of the couch. It's weird she doesn't have it with her.

I pick it up to set it on the coffee table, but the words on the screen catch my eye.

New text message from Noah (Dick)xon.

Bringing the phone closer, the preview of the text reads: is Liv there with you?

But then the phone unlocks.

All. By. Itself.

Bex and I look too similar, the facial recognition must have done it. And it automatically pulls up the string of text messages between her and Noah.

This is an accident, I'm not trying to read them, but their last few texts are right in front of me on the screen and my eyes just…absorb the words.

Bex:

Promise you won't tell anyone about it?

Noah (Dick)xon:

I won't mention what happened at the lake house

Bex:

Thank you

My mind is spinning.

What happened at the lake house?

It could be nothing.

But what if it's something?

Those weird little moments between Noah and Bex after the lake trip creep to the front of my brain, like they've been there all along, waiting for this.

I don't know what's going on, but I'll talk to him when I get home. I'm sure there's an innocent explanation.

Still, my body knows something isn't right. I push down the churning feeling in my stomach.

I trust Noah. I do.

Nonetheless, the gnawing curiosity in my brain wins, and I find myself swiping my thumb on the screen to scroll up and read their earlier text messages.

"What are you doing!" Macy's raised voice startles me, and I drop—no, throw—Bex's phone onto the coffee table before I can read anything else.

But she's not talking to me. I look over to where she's standing in the open doorway of the bathroom.

"Nothing," Bex says in a definitely-not-nothing tone.

I come up behind them and Bex is sitting there, wide-eyed and frozen, a little white pregnancy test with a pink cap clasped in her hand.

"Is that a pregnancy test?" Macy gasps.

"No," Bex says, hiding it behind her back.

"It is!"

"Uh-uh." Bex shakes her head.

Macy barges in and pries it out of Bex's grasp. "You're pregnant?" Macy's voice has gone up at least two octaves and a full decibel.

Holy shit.

"I don't know, I was just a few days late, so I got a test?—"

"And you didn't tell me!" Macy has forgotten how to not shout at this point.

Bex looks at me from between Macy's flailing arms with a grimace.

"I didn't even know you were sleeping with anyone right now. I can't believe you didn't tell me. You tell me everything." Macy is beside herself.

"I'm sorry, Mace." Bex shifts her eyes back and forth, worrying her bottom lip.

"Who are you sleeping with? How long has it been going on? Is it still going on?"

Bex is silent. She doesn't want to say and now I'm counting back. The lake house trip was two and a half weeks ago. If she's a few days late that puts conception right around that time. There's a lump in my throat, my mouth suddenly too dry to swallow it down.

"I didn't tell you because it wasn't a big deal." Bex insists.

"Not a big deal? Who is it? Who's the father?"

Bex doesn't say anything.

"Do I know who the person is?" Macy asks. "Do you know who it is?"

Bex stands. "Of course I know who it is, Mace!"

"Then tell us."

"No."

"Why not?" Macy is red in the face.

"Because it's Noah!" Bex blurts.

I stagger back. It's like the wind is knocked out of me at the same time I take a blow to the head, and nothing makes sense. My ears are ringing. I can barely keep my balance.

Macy is saying something about how backsliding with an ex is embarrassing but understandable and I am clutching my stomach. I think I might vomit.

"Are you okay, Livvy?" Bex asks, tilting her head.

"Yeah, you look really pale. Do you need something to eat? I have a granola bar." Macy pulls a granola bar out of her pocket. Chocolate chip.

I'm definitely going to throw up.

"Oh, thank fuck!" Bex lets out a whooshing exhale, a brilliant white smile taking over her face, making the dimple in her left cheek deepen. "It's negative."

"Whew." Macy puts her hand to her chest.

Bex throws the pregnancy test in the trash can. With a dreamy smile, she checks her hair in the mirror and reapplies her lip gloss. "All right, let's go look at some apartments."