Chapter 20

Livvy stretches, letting out the softest sigh, shifting the covers so they slip down, revealing her bare skin. The morning light kisses the curves of her body. Shapely shoulder, slim neck, plump breasts, hard nipples. Soft stomach, flared hips, rounded thighs.

I am as hard as a steel rod. Pulsing for her.

She yawns, blinking sleepily, and props herself up. "Hey."

"Hi, you."

"Were you watching me sleep?"

"Maybe."

She smiles. "Creepy."

I chuckle, running my finger over the curve of her hip. "How are you feeling? Sore?"

"Maybe a little."

I trace over the lines of the wing on her hip. "When I was tattooing these, I thought they were perfect for you—sweet and innocent. Now I know what they really mean." I look up at her face.

Her smile grows as her cheeks darken. "Since I was done with school, I was going to be done with the app—I am done with the app—but I wanted to keep a piece of Angel with me. As a reminder of the woman I want to be. Sexy. Confident."

"But you already are those things."

She shakes her head. "Not really."

I grab her hips and pull her down the bed onto her back as she yelps and laughs.

"I'll just have to show you," I say as I slip her panties off.

She bites her lip and spreads her legs, watching as I bury my face.

"You're good, right? I'm sure we could make room for you at Spencer's place." Bex hoists her duffle bag over her shoulder as Livvy follows her out of my room into the living room.

She catches my gaze, making eye contact for a second, the pulse in her neck visible. "No, I'll be fine here."

"Okay, well Spencer's conference is all week. I told Macy that since we finally got everything figured out and our lease ended with our old apartment, we can start looking for a new place now, for the three of us." She gives Livvy a hug.

"Yeah, that will be great." Livvy smiles and nods and my chest tightens at the thought of her moving out.

"It will be! I'm sorry it has taken so long. Macy's been dragging her feet about apartment hunting. She keeps hoping Spencer will ask her to just stay there and move in with him, but he hasn't."

Wood mumbles something in the kitchen, scrambling his eggs more forcefully than necessary. I sip my coffee.

"I'll let you know about apartment hunting. Text me." Bex and Liv hug again before Bex leaves.

"Eggs?" Wood asks.

Livvy shakes her head. "No thanks, I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for work." She disappears down the hall.

"Noah?"

"I'm good," I say, wondering if I should make a show of waiting before I follow her into the bathroom or just go now. I've already forgotten what she tastes like, and that won't do.

Wood comes to the table with way too many fluffy eggs on his plate. "You can just ask her to stay, bro."

"What do you mean?"

"Like, if you were worried about my reaction or wanted my input before asking her, I'm cool with it. I think you should."

"I wasn't thinking about asking her to stay."

"I saw the way your face changed as soon as she and Bex were talking about apartment hunting. It's like you're under your own little storm cloud. Her being here makes you happy. Just ask."

"I can't do that. It's too soon."

"Too soon according to who? Society? Fuck that and what anyone else thinks."

I chuckle. "I didn't realize you were such a romantic."

He scoffs. "Did you forget that I'm a product of love at first sight? At least, it was for my dad. He knew the moment he met my mom she was it for him. And three months later they were married."

I raise an eyebrow. "And six months later, you were born."

"That had nothing to do with it. Twenty-seven years later and they're still together. My point is, it's your life and I haven't seen you truly happy like this since…since before."

The knot that is always somewhere in my gut twists and aches. "I'll think about it," I say.

Wood smiles.

"There is something, actually, that I want to do for her I was hoping you could help me with."

Wood leans forward, resting his chin in his hands. "I'm listening."

The best part of the day is waking up with her in my arms, tangled in my sheets, skin on skin, soft breaths in the dewy morning light. Just the fact that I wake up—that I slept—she's my angel.

Every day gets better. She is sunshine. She paints and does little dances in the kitchen. She sits with me at work, watching, learning, an eager student.

And with every kiss, every touch, every time I look into her eyes as I slide inside her, with every gasp I draw from her lips, with every thrust, she is more mine and I am more hers.

Did I say the morning was my favorite part of the day? I lied. It's the night. It's the way she looks at me like I'm her last meal. It's the way she drops to her knees for me and how she always brings me to mine. It's the way our bodies move together and after we've given and taken each other's pleasure, she holds me.

She holds me and the overwhelming urge to tell her I love her slams into my chest. My throat is tight as I swallow the words. It's too soon. Sometimes we lie there in silence and sometimes we talk, and I wrap myself around her and caress her skin until I sleep.

I can't get enough of her. The everyday, mundane things—all magical when they're with her. Like lying here in bed, listening to the sound of the rain outside while she brushes her teeth. I make out the shape of her through the crack in the door in her little sleep tank and shorts. She doesn't wear a bra or panties under them, and I'm already hard thinking about it.

She turns the lights off and comes out, a silver-blue light on her skin. The rain beats hard against the window.

Mine.

That's all I can think as she walks toward me. Toward our bed.

She's mine.

Livvy crawls over to me and I reach for her, greedily, wrapping my arms around her as she lies on my chest. I kiss the top of her head, breathing her in.

Wind whips outside.

"I'm sorry," she says softly. "About Anthony quitting. It's my fault."

I sigh. "No. It's mine. But don't worry about it. He'll find a spot at another shop, and I'll find another artist. It happens. Everything will be fine."

"I know, but I still feel bad?—"

I pick her up by the hips and move her over so she's straddling me.

"Oh." She smirks as she sits on my lap, my erection pressed firmly between her legs. "Are you trying to distract me?"

"Maybe." I hold her hips firmly as I rock them back and forth on my cock. "Is it working?"

"Let's see." She lifts her thin tank top off and tosses it to the floor.

God, her tits are flawless, and I can't help but slide my hands up her body to touch them. They fit perfectly in my palms, her pretty pink nipples hardening when I circle them with the pads of my thumbs.

She grinds against me, and we both moan at the sensation.

"I think it's working," I rasp.

Thunder booms in the distance as the rain pelts against the glass.

"Mm," she hums as she slides away, pulling my boxers down with her.

She slips her shorts down her smooth legs and the sight of her bare hips, just the flash of the softness between her legs, has my cock bobbing against my stomach.

"Come here," I growl, reaching for her and pulling her in by the back of the neck. I need to taste her lips now.

Our mouths mold together. She always opens for me at the perfect time. So sweet. Her tongue is needy for mine, licking and sucking. We exchange heated breaths and groan against each other as she presses her body against mine.

She's hot between her legs, rubbing herself on my cock, making the tip of me wet. Fuck. She's ready for me.

"Good girl," I snarl against her mouth.

She sits up, the head of my dick slippery between her pussy lips.

"I like being good for you," she says.

"Show me."

My chest heaves and abs tighten as she kneels above me, taking me in her hand. Her pale skin, clear and smooth looks heavenly against all my black ink. She's an angel. Too pure for me.

It makes watching her impale herself on my hard cock that much more carnal. She lowers herself onto me, taking me inside her. I watch it disappear at the same time her heat envelopes me until she's fully seated on me, her perfect ass clapping against my thighs.

Holy shit.

"Good fucking girl."

Her cunt gushes around my cock at my words.

She smiles and eases up onto her knees until only the tip of me is inside of her then sinks back down. I dig my fingertips into the fleshy part of her, where thighs meet hip.

She strokes my cock with her body, up and down, slow and sensual. Every time she takes me fully in, it sucks the air out of me. The way her breasts bounce and the softness of her stomach make me want to touch and love every inch of her. At the same time, I want to hold her hips down and fuck up into her, hard.

"Fuck."

"Do you like this?" she asks, too innocently for the way she's riding my cock, milking it just right, thrusting her hips.

"Yes, angel." I slide my hand to her lower belly and slip my thumb down her slit to rub her as she rides me.

I'm rewarded by an instant moan and shudder from her. I watch her face as I circle her clit. It swells beneath my finger, hard and hot. She closes her eyes, thick lashes dark against her cheeks, lips parted and panting. She arches back, doing her best to keep fucking herself on my cock as I demand her pleasure.

I want her to come for me, to feel her tighten and pulse around my cock as she screams my name. As I distract her, she overwhelms me with her beauty, her sent, her noises.

I'm already getting close, and the sight of my thick shaft, covered and glistening in her juices as she eases me out of her, about pushes me over.

"Fuck," I say.

She goes harder. Her juices…on my cock.

"Oh shit. Liv, stop."

She stills, snapping her head to me with big, doe eyes. "What's the matter?"

"No condom."

Her jaw drops. "Oh fuck." She scrambles off me, crab crawling to the edge of the mattress. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't?—"

"You never have to be sorry with me, angel."

I take her hand and she comes to me, then I hook her around the ribs and toss her to the bed onto her back. She lands with a bounce and a squeal.

"Show me," I say.

She tucks her legs up and spreads her knees for me, showing me her beautiful body. Her inner thighs are shiny and slick, and I need to taste her.

She cries out as soon as my tongue licks between her lips and finds her most sensitive spot. Her hands immediately clamp to the back of my head. She fists my hair as I bring her to the edge, over and over, her legs quiver, her breathing heavier, moans louder, and then I pull back just to hear her whimper with need.

"Please," she whispers. "Please, I need you."

My cock pulses. I need the relief as much as she does. "I know. I've got you."

I sit back on my heels and open the bedside table to get the condom. She watches me slide it on as she lies there, legs spread, panting and flushed. The sight alone is enough to make me lose it.

As I lower myself back over her, I lift her arms over her head on the pillow. Both of her small wrists fit in my hand with ease, and I pin them down while I kiss her. Her lips are swollen and soft. She sucks on my tongue and pulls at my lips with her teeth.

She's needy for me. Greedy. Feral.

Such a good girl. I guide myself into her and she thrusts her hips up to take me deeper, faster.

Fuck.

I press my forehead to hers as we move together, her rolling hips meeting my thrusts. Skin slapping on skin. Breaths and gasps swallowed by kisses.

I sit up on my haunches, releasing her wrists.

"Keep your hands where they are."

She hums and whines desperately as I hold her hips and fuck into her. But she obeys, keeping her hands above her head. Such a good girl, my Liv.

I splay my hand over her stomach, my thumb dipping down as my cock pushes in and out of her. As I strum and circle her clit, I'm mesmerized by her face—thrown back in rapture, barely able to keep her eyes open, biting her bottom lip.

"Say my name. Say it when you come for me."

She tries to focus on me, out of breath, body rocking. "Yes."

"Good girl."

Her eyes roll back, and I change the direction of my circles, not too fast, not too hard. My thumb is soaked, my cock throbbing, my entire being aching to release.

But her first. Always her first.

I know when her breath starts to catch, the tempo of it. I know as her thighs tighten and she twists her hands in the pillowcase. She's there.

She bears down on my cock and grits between her teeth, "No—oh, oh fuck."

"There you go. Let go."

She comes hard around me, shattering and crying out beneath me. Breaking beautifully.

It feels too damn good. She brings me to the brink too fucking fast. She makes me lose control and I hate it. And I love it. And I love her.

I love her.

"I love you," I breathe, no power left in my lungs, plunging into her, looking into her eyes.

She doesn't say anything. She's still shaking, panting and coming down from her climax, glassy-eyed. After a moment she focuses back on me, the slightest curve to her lips.

I don't think she heard me.

It's for the better. It was dumb of me to say it while I'm inside her.

But I do. I love her.

She smiles and my heart lurches. I kiss her, hard. She wraps her arms around me, and I don't care that she forgot about keeping them over her head. I need her. I need her around me and to bury myself so deep I can't ever escape her.

My release comes, and she kisses me hard and doesn't let go, even after my body is done wracking.

She holds me until I'm quiet while I bury my face into the crook of her neck. I kiss her there, taste her sweat, while she trails her fingertips up and down my back.

It's here I am the most at peace, the most safe and loved I've ever felt.

It's also where I am the most terrified. Scared shitless that it's going to go away. That she'll go away. That I'll lose her.

I roll over and close my eyes. It's with her that I can sleep. Finally.

But the dreams haven't stopped.

Tonight, the water overtakes me. It surrounds me, closing in from every side. I can't breathe and I am sucked down deeper. Cold, dark, alone. Helpless.

Cameron reaches for me in the darkness, calling my name, saying help, help me, Noah. But then it's not him, it's Livvy in the water. She's blue and limp and sinking, farther and farther away until she disappears.

I try to get to her. I can't reach her.

I call her name but water fills my lungs.

I'm alone. Drowning. Panicking. Desperately clawing to get back up to the surface.

I wake up in a cold sweat, heart racing, gasping for air.

Dreaming about water and drowning—not new.

Dreams about not being able to save Cameron—I don't think they'll ever stop.

But dreaming about losing Livvy—it's a new torture that I don't want. A torture I don't know if I can endure, because every time I wake up and see her there, peaceful, the sinking feeling doesn't leave. Knowing that this nightmare can still come true is like a slow wrenching of my insides.

Livvy is in the shower and I'm watching Wood sing "The Sign" by Ace of Base while making himself an omelet.

"So, what are you and Livvy doing on your day off, today?" he asks.

"She's going to go look at apartments with Bex and Macy."

He scowls as he sprinkles freshly grated cheddar cheese into the pan. "I thought you were going to ask her to stay."

I drag my hand through my hair and rub the base of my neck. "I decided not to."

"Why?" He brings his knife down hard on a bunch of spinach.

Because I'm already so far gone for her that it's just a matter of time she rips my heart out and I'm terrified.

"It's just too much, too soon. We already spend all our time together, living and working together. I was barely able to sneak away the other day. I think her moving out will be good for us. Give each other a little space, you know? Maybe I should step back a little, slow things down."

"So, you're going through all the trouble of sneaking around for this secret, and you're not even going to take the relationship forward. You're taking a step back? Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"It's probably a terrible idea."

Wood looks up and I'm braced for his look of disappointment. But he looks behind me instead, his face going pale, expression falling.

I look over my shoulder to where Livvy is standing, emerged from the bathroom, eyes round, pouty lips downturned. I don't have to read the hurt in her eyes to know she heard every word I just said.