Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Jack took the news about his father’s conversations with my mother better than I had expected. He was still quiet, but he somehow seemed relieved that it wasn’t something even worse that had upset me. The rest of the funeral was uneventful. My parents and Sienna came again the second day, and even though I was pissed at my mother I was happy that she had come to support Jack.

Jenna came the second day again too. She must have exhausted her conservative wear, because her outfit the second day was not typical funeral attire. I watched as she turned every man’s head as she sauntered in, even my father’s, to my disgust. The woman oozed sex, but in a cheap and tawdry way that seemed to attract men in droves, yet repel women.

I hated how comfortable she was being physical with Jack.Jack was the type of man who intimidated people; unsolicited touches didn’t feel welcomed. Yet Jenna touched him in a way that was familiar, and every time I saw her touch him it reminded me that Jack had once been with her. I knew it was trite and childish to be jealous of a woman expressing her condolences at Jack’s father’s funeral, but I just couldn’t help myself around that woman.

***

I was due to rejoin the tour the day after the funeral, but Sienna was great and had already spoken to the tour manager and managed to get me a few extra days off. She was going to open for Double Strife solo, with one of the backup singers pitching in for the songs that needed two people.

Jack seemed relieved that I didn’t have to leave so soon, although he told me he was fine and I could go back if it was going to be a problem. I hadn’t really hada chance to think about what I would have done if the tour manager hadn’t given me a few extra days off, but I was certain that I wasn’t ready to go back quite that soon.

Things quieted down after the funeral, although Jack had to go into the office once for an emergency board meeting. Apparently, they had to elect an interim CFO to fill in for Jack’s father. I couldn’t imagine that they didn’t already have too many overpaid executives that they couldn’t have just held off a few more days to give Jack some time. But then again, I didn’t know much about boards or running an international company.

I tried to get Jack to talk about how he felt, but he just kept telling me he was fine. To an outsider, he may have even seemed fine, but something was still off. It was hard to put my finger on it, but something was different. He was quieter than usual and definitely less sexual. I didn’t expect him to jump back into normalcy after all that had happened. But I was hoping that he would at least acknowledge how he felt. But he didn’t, he just went on, steady and forward, never a tear shed. It worried me.

Maybe if I had felt like Jack had made some progress in the normal grieving process, I would have felt better about going back on tour. But a few days after the funeral, I was even more concerned about leaving. I thought about not rejoining the tour, but I couldn’t do that to Sienna. She was excited that I was coming back and had even admitted that playing solo to a crowd of the size she was having to entertain was a lot more difficult than she thought.

Jack took me to the airport the evening of my flightand I cried in his arms before I left. It was the closest I’d ever seen Jack come to crying when he looked at me and saw me so upset. His eyes welled up and he looked distraught, but he held it together. The tour still had almost six full weeks left and the schedule between shows was tight. I had thought it was bad enough to not see each other for six full weeks before Jack’s father died, but after everything Jack had been through, it was going to be torture to not be able to see him. Touch him. Hold him. Give him comfort when the day finally came and he needed it. Grief was a process, so I knew that day would eventually come. I just had no idea when.