Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

MADDEN

Working at the school has made my days different from what they used to be. When I was working a regular shift, there would be down time regularly and I could upload my videos on a schedule. I haven't been able to do that since I started this shift.

I watch as Becca pulls up to the car rider line with Mick. They talk for a few minutes, and then Mick gets out, while Becca waves at him. This kid looks sad all the damn time. I see myself so much in him, and I don't know how to handle that. I want to make everything better, but ?I know he's going to have to do a lot of the work himself. He walks toward me, and I expect him to walk right past me, but it's a surprise when he comes over to give me a high-five.

"Morning, Madden. Can I pet Donut again?" He says the words clearly and without any bit of hesitation. I love to hear it.

"Sure, you can always pet him, as long as he isn't working." Donut looks up at me, almost as if he's asking if it's okay for him to lean into the attention. I nod and give him a hand signal, which he recognizes immediately. He goes down on all fours and lifts his head up.

Mick laughs. "He's ready, huh?"

"Yeah, this is what I like to call his ready to receive attention pose. He does this whenever he wants someone to give him pets or a scratch behind the ears."

"What should I do?" He asks.

I see the question for what it is. He isn't used to making his own decisions. He's been told repeatedly that the choices he makes aren't good, that they should be different. He has no confidence, and I desperately want to give him that. "Whatever you want to. He'll sit for both, and he'll love either."

He's hesitant as he reaches out and touches Donut's head, scratching behind his ears. The large tail starts wagging and his tongue sticks out, giving him the look of having a smile.

"Is he smiling?" Mick asks, laughing.

"Yeah, he does smile sometimes, and it looks like he is now. He's so happy. Look at that face."

Mick grins widely. "I gotta go to class, but I hope I've made his day better."

"I know you did. I hope it made yours better, too."

Today, I'm taking my lunch, and there's no one around. Donut is laying at my feet, and I'm sitting at a table by myself. With my phone in my hand, I'm scrolling while scarfing down the grilled chicken and veggies I brought to eat.

There are new comments on my newest video. One from Ruby, and another from the Chief's wife.

Ruby Harrison: @Karina , maybe we could get the guys to do this for us.

Karina Harrison: @Ruby , I'm pretty sure Mason would throw his back out. He isn't as young as he used to be.

Holy shit. I can't believe the Chief's wife said this out in the open. They obviously have a great relationship, but I didn't expect this from her. If he finds out this is me, is he going to kick my ass? Will I be taken off this assignment? Fuck, I hope not.

Sighing heavily, I upload a new video and then try to finish eating my lunch.

Instead, I thumb through the messages on my phone. I haven't talked to Bec since last night when I dropped her off. I've thought about her all day, like I can't get my mind off her. I've never had a woman I've been fucked up over. Well, maybe one. Right after I graduated high school, I assumed I would marry the girl I dated throughout senior year, because that's what I thought everyone did. Luckily, I learned that didn't have to be the case for everyone. I can say now, looking back, that we would've gotten divorced before our second anniversary.

Bec is working, so I know she won't be able to answer me immediately, but I still send the message.

M: Thought about you most of the day. Can't wait to see you tonight.

"Have a good day," I tell Principal Faulkner as I pass by the office on my way out.

"You too," she says. "I know you've only been here a few days, but thank you. The old SRO we had didn't care about these kids. He never walked around and interacted with them. The dog wasn't taken out of the office. I've watched you." She leans against the desk. "You've made it a point to include not only the kids, but Donut in your day. That's more important than you believe it is. Some of these kids don't have positive influences in their lives. They don't have the confidence to make decisions or to voice what they want. Thank you for giving some of them the first taste of independence they've ever had."

This hits me harder than I expect it to. "It's my pleasure. I want them to be good humans, so that they can turn into good adults. They'll never be able to do that unless they know how to use their words and trust their thoughts. These parents are doing a disservice in not allowing them to."

"I agree, and I thank you for recognizing what they need. You're going to do great things here."

"I hope so." I grip the door facing, hoping that she can't see the emotion written across my face.

"Have a good night, Officer."

"You too."

And as I leave, I have to clear my throat of the tightness. She will never know how much her praise means to me.