11

Ian

Watching Mabel be hesitant with Andre hurt as someone who was in love with them both, but I was proud of her. She was not the same beaten and abused woman who accepted too much and could not speak her mind that I had met. No, she made it clear that Andre had gone too far for her and he needed to never act like that again no matter the situation.

Good for her.

I hoped Andre could do it because I loved him too. I was not even mad about the punch. I'd only been mad about how he'd hurt Mabel. I was that volatile as well, and clearly I could never be again when it involved Mabel.

Not ever if I did not want to risk losing her.

A few weeks after we had worked things out over dinner, I found Andre drinking out on the terrace alone staring at the stars. He'd been doing that a lot, mostly because Mabel hadn't allowed him back in our bed.

"This is not helping," I muttered as I took away his glass and tossed back the whiskey.

"I am losing her, and then I will lose you both," he rasped, rubbing his hand over his face. He was kind and did not make me say it or lie to deny it. I loved them both, but I could not live without Mabel.

"Andre, I barely registered your punch that night. Ask me why?" I sighed when he snorted. "Punches still hurt, and I feel them just fine."

He frowned. "Why?"

"Because all I could scent was her fear. She was terrified of you." I nodded when he blinked at me. "She was cornered and had to marry and then realized one of the men behaved in such a way she could be scared of them. You are smart enough to put the pieces together there."

"She thinks I am like David?" he whispered in horror. "I was nothing like—"

"Of course not, but even David did not start out like David," I reminded him. "And all you have been doing since is hovering or lurking around like you just are waiting for her to forgive you. What have you done to show her that you are her sweet Andre who would never hurt her?"

"What can I do now? You are married! I cannot take her out to dinners or—"

I rolled my eyes at him and cuffed him upside the head. "Your fear is handling this for you and you have to stop, you dolt. No, you cannot take her out to a fancy dinner. You did that once. What else did you do that made Mabel fall in love with you? That sandwich shop commoners love? Take her somewhere that just opened. Or take her riding.

"Spend some damn time with her instead of hovering! Go take a tour of the temple and see the changes. Anything to show you support her and what has happened. Show her the station and how the guests are shadowing your captains. She was the start of that even if it was your genius idea. You can absolutely escort her to an event for me."

He opened his mouth but then closed it, trying again before letting out a heavy breath.

I leaned over and kissed him. "I love you. I have kept my mouth shut because this was for you both to work out and I did not want to act like I was choosing sides or going behind her back when she was valid. We both know how hard it was for her to say what she did, and I know you are proud of her as well."

"I am," he immediately said. "She's come so far from the woman I first met who was scared to tell me to leave the room or question why I was even there. She's so impressive and… I am scared of making it worse, Ian."

"I know. As Kathy would say, your stupid man brain is making things worse, and that is why I am finally interjecting. I know where your heart is, but you are making this worse the more time you are taking to see what is really going on."

"I am waiting for her to tell me what to do or give me a sign."

I felt Mabel just inside the door but decided to act like she was not there. "Why should she tell you how to fix your mess up?"

"Because she's the boss of us," he answered so honestly and with complete faith it was actually adorable.

"Very true, but you are the one who made the mistake. When I messed up and chose my family over you, did I not have to show you that I would not do that again? I think now you have to show Mabel that you will not put your past on her. That you will have faith in her."

"I have shown her that a hundred different ways, Ian. I showed her once that—I understand, but you got married. You did leave me behind even if you did not leave me like I thought. I was horrible, but…"

"You are right that you have shown her that, but now after you failed and scared her, you have done nothing but seem like you are waiting for her anger to fade and to be invited back to her bed."

His eyes went ridiculously wide. "That is not what I feel at all."

"I know that. I know that because I know you so well and have for so many years. You did this same thing when I was upset. You…"

"What?" he whispered, jumping to his feet. "What have I done wrong?"

"No, I did not say wrong. You—it's how you handle issues. You are the calm one in the room. Normally. It's probably why she got so scared that you blew like that."

"That's fair," he grumbled. "What am I doing?"

"You would freeze and wait for me to get it all out like the spoiled prince I was. You behaved as you would with a scared animal you did not want to spook. You are doing the same with Mabel. You have before, but this time if you handle the situation that way, she will misread what you are doing and give up on you."

"This is not all we have going on, Ian. It's hard to know how not to make this worse."

"Yes, but this is our lives, Andre. It's time to accept that, lovely. I will never not be part of the royal family. She will never stop being the saint. And now you are a marquis and Minister of Internal Security and in charge of all of the police in the kingdom of Areca. Our lives are fucking complicated. We cannot escape that."

"I know. I know that."

"But you are not one who freezes for this long. Why are you holding back?" I worried, studying him.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face again. "I cannot see her catatonic like that again. I cannot sleep, Ian. I see her staring at nothing and not answering us, and I am so scared that if I say the wrong thing and hurt her again that I will make her like that again."

I moved to him and hugged him with all I had, holding tightly when he let out a shaky cry. I met Mabel's gaze and let her see that I knew she was there. "I am sorry, I did not understand."

"I know what I did was wrong, but I broke her. I broke Mabel. It was not my fault, but I did. And she blames me for breaking you too. My crime was not that bad and the weight of—"

"The trauma of being the one to push over that domino," I said for both of them.

Andre nodded and hugged me tight enough it was hard to breathe as he broke down crying. Mabel wiped her eyes and nodded that she understood. She was right in how she felt, but she had to understand that that night traumatized both of us too.

And what Andre did was the last straw, not the real reason it happened. He was carrying the weight of being the reason, and that was not fair to him. I think she finally understood that and could be a bit easier on him. He needed to stop waiting for her to make a move and try to get her to forgive him, but she had to be open to accepting that.

She hadn't been. I'd felt like she'd been freezing him out a bit too.

Which meant Andre had, so that was part of what he was experiencing. Our lives were too complicated and trying for that.

I blew a kiss to Mabel and let her know everything was okay, gently telling her that she should go. She nodded and left. I comforted Andre and then tucked him before holding Mabel. We actually hadn't made love much since being married. Not only because of her injuries and collapse after what Andre said, but then I was gone, and… We were missing someone we loved.

But hopefully, they could fix that soon.

Two days later I was actually kicked out of my own house. Louisa had planned something with some of her ladies of court and Kathy to have fun with Mabel to try to get her to enjoy being the grand duchess a bit. She'd only had pain after being married and Louisa wanted to show her this time would be very different.

I appreciated it more than I could put into words and thanked her.

Also, apparently, there was something planned for me as well. Some of the ministers and nobles I mostly got along with were throwing me a stag party after the fact. I agreed because a night off sounded nice, but the only thing I shot down was prostitutes or female entertainment being involved.

"My wife is the only living saint," I reminded them. "No. No, I will not be near or seen near naked women."

I was glad when they all seemed contrite and not like I was being too much. Andre looked like he was trying not to die of laughter. At least he was joining me on this "fun."

We ended up at a noble cigar club that normally had some lively gambling that I hadn't been to in a long time. It was more my idea of a good time and we actually had fun. I lost some money, but everyone was in good spirits, kept the night light, and did not bring up politics.

Andre was up and the group was teasing him that it was the new title luck, but they were only joking. I nodded to him that it was not bullying or even someone taking shots at him that he was not a "real" noble or anything. Even I knew he was more respected than most nobles, and with this group, they all felt that way as well.

"You have some nerve showing your face after marrying and fucking my wife, Ian," a voice bellowed with a bit of a slur.

I turned and saw David Matthias standing there with my death in his eyes. I gave him the same look back. "I could not have married her if she was your wife, and if you speak of my wife like that again, I will call you out, Matthias." I eyed him over and could practically smell the cheap booze coming off of him. "I suggest you walk away and not spoil my night. Sleep it off."

"You are a nicer man than I am," one of the ministers mumbled, shaking his head. "That man is a blight on this kingdom."

"Do not tell me what to do," David blasted. "Do you have any idea how people laugh at me that I divorced the saint? You knew she was one, didn't you? You fucking knew, and that's why you helped her to humiliate us and—"

I pushed to my feet, unable to let him say this in public, but Raymond Matthias was suddenly there.

"I apologize for my drunk cousin, Your Grace," he said, bowing to me. "I did not know you were here. We were in the other room. David went to use the bathroom and—I apologize. I will take him home and—"

"I want an apology for my wife when he is sober," I bit out. "There is a line, and he keeps going over it."

"I agree, and yes, I will speak with my uncle," Raymond agreed, shoving David towards the door. "Move it, you drunk." He turned and bowed again and then faced the whole establishment. "I apologize that my family dampened the mood—"

"Die, Brooker!" David bellowed as he came towards me.

I saw the dagger first, but he was coming at me through where Raymond was. I did not even think about my actions, moving completely on instinct and so someone was not hurt. I dashed forward and grabbed Raymond with my right hand to pull him behind me so he was out of David's path.

At the same time, I grabbed David's wrist with my left hand which was my mistake since I was right-handed and had more strength and dexterity there. So David cut my wrist slightly, but my sleeves had been rolled up and instantly I healed and no one would have seen it.

We moved and then my hand was above his going down to stab as I tried to pull it back so he did not hit me… Except he was drunk and tripped because I'd pulled him off balance.

It all happened in a flash. I let go when he fell over so I did not as well.

And David Matthias landed on his own dagger. It went right through his throat because of the trajectory and how I'd pulled.

For several moments, everyone was frozen in shock, simply watching David choke on his own blood as he struggled. I snapped out of it when he went to pull out the dagger.

"Call a healer!" I bellowed and dove to my knees to hold his hands away. "Do not pull it out. Can anyone here heal?"

"I think it's too late, Your Grace," one of the other ministers said.

And I was honestly very glad for that. I was moving on instinct and now not to get in trouble that I let him die, but meeting David's gaze, we both knew I hoped these were his last moments.

They were. He died choking on his own blood and in horrible pain.

It could not have happened to a bigger monster.

I stood and cleared my throat, accepting the napkins Andre offered me. "Your officers will take me into custody, yes?"

"Ian, you were clearly—" he defended.

"Follow procedure, Commander," I said quietly. "We both know I did nothing wrong. Let it all play out."

"As you wish. Yes, someone who works here already went outside with a whistle. When my officers arrive, they will escort you to the palace to be locked down until a hearing can be convened in the morning for testimony and evidence."

"Thank you." I turned and looked at Raymond. "You will testify as your duty?"

He met my gaze and nodded, swallowing loudly. "No matter what Uncle says. You did not mean to hurt him. He was drunk and—you probably just saved my life."

"That was my intent and for no one to get hurt," I admitted. "I might have hated David, but…" I looked down at his body. "Not like this." I met Andre's gaze. "Please go talk to Mabel. Ask if Lousia or Kathy can stay with her tonight. I do not… She just recovered." I swallowed loudly and had to turn away from David.

She had just recovered from the scars and years of David's abuse. My mind spun out. Would she be happy to hear he was dead? Upset I'd killed him?

Sad she hadn't been able to?

I blinked and I was in the carriage on the way to the palace. Gerald came out and met the carriage which shocked me. He looked worried… And suspicious.

"I swear it was an accident," I told him. "He was drunk and came for me. Raymond was in the way. I just acted, Gerald. It was a mess, but—I wanted him dead, but he fell on his own damn dagger."

"I believe you. But it is a mess."

"It always is," I grumbled. "Lock me down. I told them to follow procedure. I will not fight any of this. I truly did not…" I shook my head. What a way for all of this to end.

Gerald did as he should but stayed with me a few hours, drinking a few drinks with me and talking about the progress and correspondence with other leaders. He was distracting me.

It did not really work.

"Do you think Mabel will be relieved he's dead or suspicious I took the chance to kill him like you thought?" I cut in, asking what I really wanted to know.

He froze in raising his glass to his lips. "I think she will be relieved and know you well enough that you already planned to kill him in some accident soon with your magic. You would never be stupid enough to do it so publicly. I was not suspicious, Cousin. I wondered if you had too much to drink to be so stupid."

That was exactly what I needed to hear. I threw back my head and laughed. Then I moved us and used a chair as Raymond, showing him exactly how it happened and that the dolt really did stab himself.

"Honestly, I am glad it was humiliating and painful. And he yelled for you to die first."

That was a good point.

I woke to one of the royal guards slipping me a note from Mabel saying she loved me and Andre had explained everything. She was glad David was dead and I was safe. That was all that mattered.

And to burn the note so we did not get into trouble for breaking the rules.

I really loved that woman.

I was fed and rode to court with Gerald. I told him not to come and involve himself, but he gave me a look to stuff it.

I appreciated the support; I really did.

Just about every noble available on such short notice was there and then some. I glanced around and relief filled me that Mabel was not though. She did not need to be put through another spectacle.

Marquis Matthias was there. The season had started, so I shouldn't have been surprised, but… Maybe it was better.

He was steamed when he saw me, and I decided to address him directly, ignoring Gerald's sigh and let him go ahead. I walked right up to the marquis, much to everyone's surprise, and faced him.

"I am sorry for your loss," I said quietly. He opened his mouth to blast me but I shook my head. "I did not want this. Yes, our families are enemies and I hated David, but… I did not want this. I wanted him to pay for his crimes. If I wanted him dead, we both know I could have done it a million quiet ways. He was still your son, and I am sorry for your loss."

I dipped my head to his wife and then went to where I was supposed to stand. The judge came in, and before much could begin, Andre interjected with a few people.

"Your Honor, if I may, before we go over the same testimony again and again, it would be easier if we set up the visual many witnessed and simply confirm what they saw," he said.

"Yes, we do that often, Commander," the judge accepted, clearly saying it for the vast number of nobles packing the courtroom. "Is Raymond Matthias present?"

"I am, Your Honor," he said from somewhere and stepped into the aisle. He stopped in front of his uncle. "I know what you want me to say, but I am also your family, and hopefully you will understand when you see that David could have killed me last night. He was not in his mind. I am sorry, Uncle."

"You are dead to me," the marquis bit out.

Raymond met his gaze and ground his jaw and lowered his voice to a level only I could hear. "Dozens of people witnessed it. I will not ruin my honor for a lie no one will believe. I will not hurt this family any more than David already did."

But he would ruin his honor for a lie he could get away with. That much was clear.

Andre called us forward and moved us into position, having an officer about David's height and weight stand where he was. "Is this how you remember your positions last night?"

I glanced it over as did Raymond, but he answered first.

"The grand duke was a bit further away," he hedged. "I do not know where David ended up after I shoved him towards the door."

"I was about three feet further back," I agreed. "It would put me into the upcoming witness seating. David might have been a foot or two further back as well. The angle is correct. The way we lined up."

Andre nodded, calling on a list of people we had been with and another five nobles who had been in the club. They all stood, came forward, and confirmed that was what they remembered as well.

"As you can see, Your Honor, the main issue is when David Matthias brandished a dagger and yelled, ‘Die, Brooker,' Raymond Matthias was directly in the line of attack."

"Yes, very clearly," the judge agreed before turning to me. "Proceed with what happened, Your Grace."

I nodded and moved forward. "I was not drunk, so I moved faster. I pulled Raymond behind me and went to grab control of the dagger." We went through it, and the officer came at me like he was going to stab me with an invisible blade, clearly instructed by Andre as to what happened already. "I reached for his wrist and tried to squeeze for him to let go.

"Also, while shoving it away from both of us. That changed the angle, and he almost cut my arm and I lifted, twisting our arms. He was moved off balance and starting to fall. I let go so I did not fall with him and end up landing on the dagger."

"David Matthias did?" he confirmed, nodding when I did. "And then you said, "‘Call a healer! Do not pull it out. Can anyone here heal?'"

I blinked at where the officer was on the ground and pretending to be David… And completely blanked. I stared another moment and then looked at the judge. "I have no idea what I said, Your Honor. I was… Yes, I told him not to pull it out. I was so shocked it happened, but then he reached up to pull out the dagger. He would have instantly bled out. I stopped him from doing that."

The judge nodded. "Is that what the grand duke said from the witness' memories?"

They all confirmed it, admitting that none of them reacted because they were so surprised and shocked. Also, they had been drinking as well.

"How many drinks did you have, Your Grace?" the judge asked.

"Two? Yes, I was on my third scotch," I told him. "Over a few hours of playing cards."

He nodded, making a note. "Anything you want to add?"

I knew I probably should not say it, but it would play better to the court of public opinion. "I should have used my left hand to grab Raymond and move him. I thought to keep him safe and since I am right-handed, reached for him with my stronger hand. I should have used my stronger hand, my sword-fighting hand, to control the weapon. Maybe I could have—"

"Maybe it would have landed in your chest instead like the drunk, belligerent man clearly wanted to have happen, Your Grace," the judge said firmly. "As unfortunate as this is, you saved Raymond Matthias from harm. David Matthias brought this on himself and clearly attempted to murder you. Let's be done with this. You are free to go."

"My son is dead!" Maquis Matthis blasted before glancing around. "And where is Mabel? Why is she not here to—"

I snapped out of my thoughts about last night and focused on him. "The grand duchesses is home. She has been through enough, and if you speak so—all of this is because your family keeps stepping over the line, Matthias. Last night your son was out of control and spouting bile about my wife."

Andre moved to intercept me, but I shoved him off, staying about five feet back but going toe-to-toe with Richard Matthias.

"Let me be clear for the record and all of the witnesses here. I did not know my wife was the saint when I helped her. Neither did the king or queen. Only after she was free of her abusive marriage and safe did she tell them that she had some qualities of a saint, but she was not sure." I nodded when shock filled his eyes and I heard the gasps of people.

"That cannot—"

"She was not sure and asked the queen to help her find out but did not trust the temple. That is the truth. I found out later. So enough with this madness, and let this be the end before others die. Because your demanding my wife be returned to your family when you learned she was the saint like she was property was enough to make me want to call you out!"

He flinched away from me, and I knew I'd won.

Raymond of all people moved up next to me. "David has been drinking and running his mouth publicly since the grand duchess was found out to be the saint, Uncle. And she never called him on their divorce settlement. It was all of David's doing and—he was slandering her all over the capital and at every party he could.

"He had been thrown out of parties and establishments, and you were too upset to even hear me about it. I have spent weeks trying to minimize the damage, but there is damage to recover from including my body as David kept getting physical with me. He also ordered Matthias knights to beat me, and a few did hit me. That was the state of things."

And that was the moment the marquis learned that he was not above everyone and could not do anything he wanted. It was clear from the mood in the court that people were tired of the family's behavior and how far out on a limb he had gone on this issue. Even his most staunch supporters were looking at him with disgust.

If I knew the nobility well—and I did—Raymond would take over the title before the season was over. I hoped so. He might not be someone I liked or would ever trust, but he was a much, much better option.