9

Andre

Most new shops opened at the start of the social season, late spring or early summer when the rich and nobles flocked to the capital for the parties and to introduce their children to society. It was the best chance for new products to get in front of those who had the money to buy or invest.

And they opened on Saturdays. Fewer people were working then and more would be able to come out and see the shop, making almost a party of the opening. Not just the nobles who didn't have set hours with their positions, but like attorneys and bankers who had extra money to afford something worthwhile that came newly on the market.

So my anxiety was through the roof for Mabel that she was opening her stores—or reopening the stores she'd bought—in the dead of winter on a Wednesday.

Yes, a Wednesday.

She had said something about making a fresh start before the New Year and bringing better health in with the changing of the calendar. She wanted to open now so the deliveries could start Monday which was in the New Year.

It seemed important to her and she wouldn't budge on it, so I wondered if it was something Violetta had pushed her on?

Or something Mabel pushed back against the goddess on. Either way, my mind was still in shock that she was a saint.

And my stomach wasn't doing well with it. I burped up some more acid and reached for a tonic that I had been taking too much of in my worry for the woman I was falling in love with.

I was just glad that my officers cared about me as much as I did them. I didn't even have to tell anyone to make sure a patrol happened to be outside of her store all day for my sanity… And they needed to switch often so I could get updates.

I needed to sit heavily when the first came in saying the line waiting for the store to open was wrapped around the block. That was unheard of.

The second report that a duke had tried to ruin everything, but the king had helped Viscount Bryd handle it, made me reach for another tonic. One of my captains sent out someone to buy muffins to soak up the acid which he said would work better than the medicine and I needed to eat.

"You are so in love it's almost grossly sweet," he grumbled as he gave me the muffins and thanked the runner. "Eat before my old married heart gags."

"Fuck off," I groaned as I still accepted. At least he'd gotten good ones for me. "I cannot help her with this. She's been through so much and I cannot help her with this."

"You can help her close the loop on who knows, and you should," he said under his breath. "We have good officers, but money talks, and a lot here need money, Andre. For one, she's got guards from the grand duke now or you need to get regular mercenaries to cover shifts. Not this rotating group. That's too many eyes and mouths to talk if these stores will be such a hit. Close those mouths."

With magic. That was what he wasn't saying. He wanted me to handle it and magically gag people. It was underhanded and I hated to mess with my people like that… But I would for Mabel.

I nodded, rubbing my stomach before stuffing a cranberry muffin in my mouth. He was absolutely right.

I was a complete mess after lunch when word reached me that Mabel's former father-in-law arrived at the same time she did to pretend to be a customer. I couldn't even pretend to pay attention to work after that, and for once I was grateful for fucking Ian because he was there to handle it.

Still, Mabel's moment was ruined.

The moment my shift was over, I was out the door. I should have just left early, but I wanted to always lead by example and not let personal affect our work.

Fine, I failed that day, but if people were smart, they wouldn't point it out to me.

I didn't even go home, instead right to her door to find out how things were going. The guards let me in, and Lady Kathy looked relieved to see me which was surprising given she clearly was rooting for Mabel to end up with Ian.

She was always polite and liked me… But the woman did not hide her opinions. I actually liked that about her.

"There is a problem in the duchy," she told me. "Colin and Ian had to head right there. It's something big and an emergency, not them being overly cautious."

"I would never doubt them in that," I agreed, realizing she worried that I would think they bailed on Mabel.

She let out a slow breath. "She will not talk to me about what happened with the Matthiases." She gave me a look not to play stupid. "I saw you had officers posted at her store because you were worried. We all are. Ian put in a magic mirror that allows Mabel to see inside the store and the business that is happening."

"That's genius."

"Yes, he has his moments, but he upset her too. Something she saw really upset her though. I did not understand it. She's been locked in her study since then going over the early sales reports and numbers. She said she will not need dinner. She's been running on fumes and stubbornness. She cannot keep—"

I reached out and patted her shoulder just as I would comfort an upset officer instead of worrying that Lady Kathy was a noble. "I will handle it. Thank you for trusting me. Make sure dinner is prepared as normal. We will have it in her study so it's quiet and she can relax." I nodded when she looked worried. "She will eat it if I have to tie her down."

She gave an elegant snort and shook her head before walking off.

I didn't even knock at the study, walking right in and taking off my jacket and setting it over the chair with my bag. She was so focused on what she was working on that she didn't even notice that I was there.

And she was just as beautiful as always.

"What's wrong, darling?" I asked as I moved behind her and put my hands on her shoulders.

"We do not have enough supply," she mumbled. She groaned as I started rubbing her shoulders. "And delivery prices people out being able to afford the products. I kept the prices so low but… I have to protect us too. I cannot see how to do both."

But I'd seen this coming. I'd thought about it and had an idea how to get the same result she was looking for. She and Ian were used to the lives of nobles and I came from a poor background. "If you take a break, I have an idea that might help. I think it will give you the answer."

She let out a heavy sigh and dropped her pen, sitting back against her chair and looking up at me. "Tell me."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "I do not even get a hello? No kiss? My Mabel treats me better than that when I rush here right after work to check on her." I almost melted when she pouted at me.

The damn woman knew how to push my buttons for sure. I shook my head and she pursed her lips at me.

Instead, I lifted her out of the chair and brought her to the sofa so she was sitting on my lap.

"Clearly, I have abused you horribly if you are acting so needy," she said with a giggle, giving me a soft kiss. "I am sorry for being so selfish and mean. You do deserve better when you treat me so well. I am sorry."

I stole another kiss, more than happy with that apology. "What's going on, darling?"

"We are going to sell out of the stock that I had calculated for the two weeks of opening." She nodded and let out a heavy sigh when I couldn't hide my shock. "I do not even have the final numbers for the day yet. Viscount Bryd sent over the numbers he tallied from until one in the afternoon. That was four hours before closing."

"And how much was sold?" I worried.

"Thirty percent of the stock. Way more than we remotely projected."

"Okay, stressful, but stock will not go bad, right?" I checked.

She nodded and then studied me. "You think I should hire temporary workers and have overnight shifts or—"

"I haven't gotten that far," I admitted. "But yes, your worry would be the overhead for full-time employees you might have to let go later if the sales level off. Which, if they are so big the first day, I do not know that they will. I mean, eventually the goal is to have stores outside of the capital, right?"

"Ian wants two in his duchy before spring," she admitted, nodding when I winced. "And if he has them, others will want them as well. But we know areas I will not ever trust to have my products. It's all very complicated."

"And where to make them and shipping costs, or is it better to have smaller factories all over. I get where your mind is."

"No, because I am needed to make them," she reminded me.

Right, right, it wasn't just the ingredients but her magic that made it all work.

"Yes, but you could have the base of everything made locally and the additives shipped," I muttered. "That's the part you are needed for."

"Yes, but that's more people knowing the base and still the logistics of shipping the jars and whatnot. It's cheaper to have it all here in one bigger production facility—well, it would probably be better in a cheaper area than the capital. But I am a noble without land or my own area. Ian would want me to do it all in the duchy so he could—"

"Take it over," I drawled. I sighed when she flinched. "Let's leave that for later."

"Your jealousy?" she whispered, trying to move off my lap.

But I didn't let her, ignoring when she frowned at me. "Partially, but… Your stress right now is most important. Then I want to bring up something about us. Then we can talk about Ian. Okay?"

She studied me closely and gave a slight nod. Good.

"I think the delivery is over the top." I shook my head when she objected. "Darling, we do not deliver reports and go to people's homes. Citizens have government IDs for a reason. You could deliver to their homes and they could turn around and give over what they bought. I understand what you are trying for, but you are making more work for yourself."

"And people can still get around it," she sighed, nodding after a moment. "You are right. I just always think of things…"

"As a noble. There's nothing wrong with that, Mabel. You are not a snob." I gave her a kiss when she flinched. "You are not. You are incredibly smart and caring, but you lived sheltered because of everything. You are open to experiencing more and that's what is important. Okay?"

"How would you do it?"

"Your ordering system, but have them come pick it up. Have a window behind the store so people can come before or after work on certain days and pick up their orders. Just like you have a receipt to pick up a dress or other items, give them that. Even your menstruation tonics that are on a calendar. They pick up one order, they can pay for the next order, and get their ticket."

"We were worried about receipts being forged," she hedged. "Delivery kept us in control."

"Yes, but you invented ink that makes copies. It will be more paperwork, but you will have the proof needed. Hire someone who handles only the order system and organizes it for the employees. They could have all of the slips ready for orders to be filled in the morning to be picked up or delivered. Bring the slips to the warehouse and—"

"Take the stress off the workers in the store. That is smart. They just have to match the receipts and it's done." She thought it over another moment and gave me a heated kiss. "You are so smart and helpful that it's everything." She beamed at me in a way that made my soul heal. "Now that business is settled, why do you want to talk about us?"

"I always want to talk about us," I murmured, giving a half-shrug when she rolled her eyes at me. I lifted her up so she wasn't sitting across my lap but straddled me instead.

She let out a yelp and couldn't hide her shock at the intimate position. "Andre!"

I leaned in and ran my nose along hers. "Mabel, I want you to yell my name during things other than lifting you up. Or lifting you up while doing other things." It was hard not to chuckle when she realized what I was saying, her face flushing several shades of red.

She smacked my chest. "How vulgar."

I frowned. "Telling you that I want to love on your body is not being vulgar. I have never been vulgar with you or—"

"You are right. I am sorry." She cleared her throat and looked down at my chest. "I am sorry. I do not know what is actually…"

She was raised like a doll and crazy conservative, so she didn't know what was normal. That was what she didn't want to say.

And I wouldn't make her.

"There's nothing wrong with being naughty at the right time, darling," I said gently. "We are not there yet, but I dream of you saying dirty things to me, begging me to do dirty things to you. It's only vulgar if we are not together or when mistreating a woman you are not even—this is about us. I want to be more intimate with you. Do not you want more with me?"

She was quiet, but she didn't seem against the idea, more like she didn't know what to say now that she'd upset me. She shut down so quickly, so easily, after all she'd been through that it hurt my heart.

I moved my hand under her chin and made her look at me. "You liked the way I looked without my shirt on. I remember how you flushed and looked so pretty. There's nothing wrong with that, my sweet darling." I waited until she nodded. "Do not you want to share that intimacy with me?"

"Yes." That one word was so quiet that I barely heard it.

"I want to see more of you, touch you more." I cleared my throat when she flushed deeper and her breath came out faster. "I know that's where we are heading, but I want to see you before your scars heal."

"What?" she asked, her eyes going wide.

I nodded. "Your scars do not matter to me, Mabel. I have many too. My knee is a mess—do you care for me any less after seeing that?"

"Of course not!" she gasped.

"And I feel the same for you. I want to share with you and be supportive, but I never want you to think that I would not treasure you with…" I trailed off when she started giggling.

When it built into a full laugh, the pain that cut through my heart took my breath away. I almost dumped her off my lap I was so upset, but I remembered myself at the last second and set her on the couch before standing and going for my things.

"Andre, please! I am sorry!" she called after me, scrambling to race after me. "Andre, stop!"

I was almost to the front door when she caught up to me. The only reason she had a chance was I had fumbled with my belongings I'd been in such shock and then struggled with the door to her study. Never, not ever had I expected Mabel to be so careless with my feelings and treat me that way.

Here I had treated her like a queen and I was to be treated like a fool in return.

Fucking nobles, they are all the same.

"Wait, please, do not leave," she begged, throwing herself against the door when I tried to open it. "I am sorry. Let me explain. I am…"

"You laughed at me," I whispered. "I opened up to you and was—you laughed at me, Mabel."

"I swear that wasn't—it wasn't what you said, but it was like déjà vu."

Meaning she'd had the same conversation with Ian. I couldn't even hide how much hearing that destroyed me. "And did you laugh at him when he brought it up?" For once I wasn't patient with her and didn't give her a chance to explain when she opened her mouth. "Was he patient with you or did he steamroll you? When I never do?"

When she didn't answer, I tried to move her from in front of the door, but she grabbed onto my arm. "Please do not leave. Please."

"Ian has taken enough in my life, Mabel. I cannot watch him take you from me too. I will not be a doormat again. I cannot. I would rather leave the kingdom."

She stared at me with such confusion that I was angry at both Ian and myself for leaving her in the dark about our past. "Please do not leave. My heart could not bear it, Andre."

"Your house or the kingdom?" I asked, knowing it was probably unfair to ask, but I needed to know.

"Both."

I caved when tears filled her eyes. I let her lead me away, shocked when she stopped by the kitchen and told them that we'd be taking dinner in her bedroom. The maid who was still acting as her cook couldn't hide her surprise… And then amusement at whatever was on my face.

Shock. Absolute surprise.

Still, I let her take me to her bedroom, thrilled to be there when I hadn't carried her there from exhaustion or snuck my way in there somehow.

She took my coat and bag from me and set them down before coming back and taking off my work uniform jacket. She frowned when I tried to stop her.

"I do not want to progress our intimacy because I was going to leave," I whispered.

Mabel beamed at me and reached up to cup my cheek. "You are such a sweet and honest man. You make this so easy on me, and it's time I was a stronger woman and did the same for you. I am sorry you have had to shoulder so much, but it's meant the world to me."

I wasn't sure what that meant, but I let her take my jacket off, understanding when she said it looked uncomfortable. Right, Mabel would never have sex to make things right.

Well… I didn't actually know that. I had no idea what her crazy father had taught her about men.

Or now with Ian being pushy with her.

She sat us on the sofa so we were facing each other, shoes off and totally relaxed even. It was nice. Comfortable.

She seemed to come to some internal decision before opening her mouth. "Yes, Ian and I had the same discussion. The reason I laughed was I thought maybe we would—I have been hoping—I have wanted to—"

I leaned in and brushed my lips over hers, cupping her face. "I will not ever judge you, Mabel. Be honest with me."

Her expression softened as she rubbed her face against my hand. "I have been hoping you would touch me like he did. I have wanted that with you. Not Ian's pushy way and yes, he steamrolled me. I do not regret it—this is not about him. I laughed at the déjà vu of it and hoped you would touch me that way as well. I have been… Longing for you."

Her eyes went too wide when she realized what she'd said, blushing all the way up to her ears. But it was fucking music to my ears.

I kissed her with all I had. I didn't even ask what Ian had done with her. She was right that it wasn't about them but us.

And I knew how to touch a woman to make her happy too. Especially when it was Mabel.

"Wait, wait, my nipples are—Angie cut my nipples, and I haven't been able to…" she interrupted when I started to untie her corset.

So Ian hadn't seen her breasts? I shook off the thought and focused on us—now. I leaned away and studied her face, seeing she was near tears. I leaned back and made fast work of my own shirt so my chest was bare to her. I took her hand in mine and brought it to my left nipple that was jagged and ugly.

"What happened?" she whispered, looking where her hand was.

"I was sneaking a message across enemy lines and was found," I answered. "Luckily, I used to be very fast, but to get out of my hiding spot, I had to dive between two people. One was fast with a sword. He sliced my chest and I had many miles to run still. It was infected and awful before I reached camp, so that was what the healer focused on."

"I am so sorry," she rasped. "Does it hurt now?"

"No." I used my other hand to cup her face. "Do you find me any less attractive because of it?"

She started to give me an offended look, but then understanding set in. "It's different for women though. We are only our beauty."

"Luckily, the two people in this room are not stupid and know better, darling," I said gently. I let out a slow breath and kissed her. "Mabel, darling, I am falling in love with you. You. The person you are. Your soul. The kind heart you have. Not your physical body even if I love your pretty eyes and wild hair. You are so much more than how pretty you are."

"My feelings for you are growing too," she whispered, sounding scared.

I didn't blame her. It was scary.

"Most of my scars already healed. Just not my intimate parts. The goddess will not answer me if I can use the cream there."

That seemed cruel, but then the answer hit me and I kissed her again. "I think because healing you is not just physical, Mabel. She's answered you everything else, right?" I waited until she nodded. "I think this answer you need to learn on your own. With love and help."

It took her a moment, and then understanding and fear filled her eyes. She took in a slow breath before pulling away and undoing her corset since I'd started to unsnap her dress. Then she let it all fall off of her so she was naked before me from the waist up.

"Mabel, you are beautiful," I whispered as I reached for her and ran my hand along her waist and up her ribs. "You are." I leaned in and kissed her before realizing I didn't want to sit here with her. I reached under her and picked her up as I stood and brought her to the bed, turning off one of the lights on the way. "I did that for your comfort."

"Thank you." She cleared her throat. "Yes, thank you."

She really was too damn cute.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked as I cupped her breast, careful not to touch her nipple. I continued when she didn't seem to know what to say. "I lost a bit of sensation in mine. Nipples are very sensitive, and mine does not register hot and cold as easily as the other."

"I do not know. I never really paid attention before," she whispered, looking away. "I was so young and it—I was taught it was a dirty part of me."

"Nothing about you is dirty, Mabel." I let the pad of my thumb run over her right nipple. Yes, something clearly happened to it, but it wasn't remotely how she probably saw it. She acted as if it was hanging off or monstrous.

But I had to be careful because this was tricky territory with any woman who felt negatively about her body. She was more important to me than that though.

"I do not want you to think me a cad, but I have been with other women," I hedged.

"And I am not as pretty as them," she rasped, moving like she was going to cover up.

I pulled her to sit up and tried to swallow down my upset as I cupped her face. "Do not put words in my mouth. I know this is hard, but have some faith in me, Mabel. Please?"

"I am sorry," she rasped, tears gathering in her eyes that she tried to hide. "I am doing everything wrong and I do not mean to."

Oh, my sweet woman. I needed to be kinder. I hugged her to me but kept one hand on her breast as I nuzzled her neck. "Does it hurt?"

"No, it feels good," she admitted. "Odd, but like when you kiss my neck and make my heart race."

I kissed her neck now that I knew she liked that. "I haven't been with a lot of women, but I was—I went to relieve some stress after the war, and a whore told me to leave because she would not bed a cripple."

She was quiet several moments but then kissed me. "I never thought a woman could reject a man and then be so vile."

"My knee was mangled then. I even—I wasn't even going to lower my pants so it was hidden, but she—I think she…"

"She hated her own life and she wanted others to suffer as well?"

"Maybe? I do not know." I cleared my throat. "But as insensitive as this is to say, I want to tell you that nipples are different. The dozen I have seen are all different." I snickered. "One woman had huge ones. They were her whole breast, and some men liked them that way. She was popular, but they terrified me. I just did not know where to look or—"

"This is the strangest conversation in the history of intimate conversations," she said with a giggle before kissing me again. "Thank you, Andre."

"I love your nipples, Mabel. I think your breasts are very, very attractive. I want to do vulgar things to them. To you."

She flinched and let out a long breath. "It's not vulgar if I have feelings for you. I want to do those things with you too."

It was hard not to laugh when she sounded confused. "Once I tell you what those things are?"

She let out a huff. "I cannot ask Kathy what men and women do. She's innocent and younger than me. Women do not discuss these things. I just know whores and commoners take men into their mouths and—"

"That's not true. Someone is trying to act above others." I nodded when she leaned back and looked at me. "I plan on licking you in intimate places, Mabel." I brushed my lips over hers. "And I would never cheat on you. I will not be that asshole who goes to whores. My lover would give me what I need because she loves me. Others do it."

Understanding and a bit of fear filled her eyes. "And you like this?"

I swallowed loudly. "A lot."

She worried her lower lip. "What if I do not like it?"

"Then we do other things, but I think you will." I hurried on when she seemed scared again. "We will do things to each other because we want our partner's pleasure. You feed me because you like seeing me happy. It's like that. You'll want to see me in the throes of passion and sated, knowing you sated me."

The blush came back even hotter. "Yes, that sounds nice."

"Better than nice. Let me show you."

"Some," she hedged.

"Some," I agreed.

And I did. I licked her breasts and nipples until she didn't know what to do and begged me to touch her. I didn't like how she phrased it as "like Ian did," but I was still thrilled to get to touch her sweet, tight cunt.

She liked it as well.

All three times. But it was the first time she'd let anyone see her breasts so… Had that asshole really just fingered her and skipped the normal process?

Yes, knowing him, he absolutely did.

Asshole.

I was glad to experience something so amazing with her, but it made it that much harder to shatter her world while we ate dinner. Telling her what Ian and his family had done to me made her crumble. I think she believed me that it wasn't about me being jealous but that I needed to warn her not to get any more involved with them, especially since she was a saint.

But only time would really tell where her heart landed.

I prayed to the goddess that I hadn't waited too long.